“Oh, I am so outta here,” you interrupt. “I was with you right until the tofu. Blegh.”
“Don’t you dare move a muscle, young lady,” Jessie says, doing her best impression of your mom. “I’m counting on you to make lots of friends there so you can eventually introduce me to that hot male model we saw in Teen Vogue last month.”
You have to laugh. “You got it. Hey, did you hear about Lizette winning a ticket to the party?”
“Of course,” Jessie replies. “Amy works faster than e-mail spam. I think she called everybody. But Lizette isn’t the only one. When Lena and I were carrying Jimmy here, we ran into Charlie and he told us that—”
“Back up!” you interrupt again. “Jimmy’s with you guys?”
“Oh. Did I forget to mention that?” Jessie says calmly. You’re sure she’s fully aware that she is torturing you.
“Yeah, it must’ve slipped your mind. Spill it, Jess!” you cry impatiently.
“It’s not a big deal, really,” Jessie starts, still talking too slowly for your taste. “After you took off, Lena and I ran to find a quiet place so we could call your mom. But Shakespeare here decides to update her blog while in motion and ends up in a head-on collision with Jimmy Poor guy never saw it coming.”
“Hey, you could have warned me!” Lena protests in the background.
Ignoring her, Jessie continues, “He was pretty woozy after she brutally crashed into him—”
“Do you have to say it like that? It was an accident! Sheesh …”
“Pipe down over there, Lena. I’m telling the story,” Jessie says, clearly finding the whole scenario hilarious. “As I was saying, he was pretty woozy after … the accident.” You picture Jessie putting air quotes around “accident.” “So we did what any good EMTs would do and got him twenty CCs of chocolate milk, stat.”
You can hear Jimmy and Lena chuckling in the background.
“It was touch and go there for a while, but I think he’ll make it. Say hi, Jimmy,” Jessie continues.
“Hi, Jimmy,” he says. Could this be any more perfect? you think. Here you were, wondering what to do about Mona, and now your friends are hanging out with her date. It gives you a great idea.
“Wow,” you say once Jessie is back on the line. “This is a really weird day. You’ll never believe who’s at the photo shoot with me.”
Sensing juicy gossip, Jessie gets excited. “I’ll be right back, guys,” she announces to Jimmy and Lena, and you hear the background music slowly subside. She must have walked outside of the diner so she could hear you better. “Who? Who?” she asks.
“Mona. And unless I completely heard wrong, Janice is Monas mom … and Jimmy is her date to Shawna’s party”
There is a moment of stunned silence before Jessie yelps, “What?”
“I know. Crazy, right? The Truth or Dare promise I made is so off.” You silently thank God that you didn’t get the chance to ask Jimmy out on a date earlier. He would have had to turn you down cold and the cringe factor of that moment would have been epic.
“Get out! That can’t be true. Are you sure you got that right?”
“Definitely.” You leave out the part about your eavesdropping to get that info.
Jessie groans. “Aw, this bites. I’m sooo sorry. This is just like what happened on Ugly Betty that time—”
“Hey, Jess,” you interrupt, “would you mind if we saved the Ugly Betty recap for later? I can’t stay on the phone too long.”
“Yeah. No problem. But are you sure you’re okay?”
You think about it for a moment, surprised to find that you are okay. “I am,” you assure Jessie. “I know I should be more miserable right now, but the truth is … I think I may have met someone else.” An image of Bryan pops into your mind. Of course Jessie demands all the details, but before you have a chance to fill her in, you notice the time. If you want your plan to work, you’ve got to get moving … now.
“I’ll tell you all about it later,” you say in a rush. “Just take your time at Johnny Rockets. Have some fries on me.”
“You’ll get no argument here, Ms. Klum.”
After you get off the phone, you innocently stroll out to where Mona is sitting on the set, impatiently tapping her foot.
“Hey, Mona,” you say brightly, getting a snotty eye roll from her in return. Okay, guess this won’t be as easy as you thought. You really, really hate this, but you’re going to have to do the unspeakable: give Mona a compliment to get her talking.
“Your hair looks hot,” you say, swallowing extra hard so you won’t accidentally hurl. “How do you get it to look so shiny? It’s like you should be in Pantene commercials.”
Mona looks sideways at you, clearly a bit suspicious.
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah!” you assure her. You grab a chunk of your own hair. “I’m amazed they could do anything with mine. It usually feels like straw. Yours probably feels like silk. What’s your secret?”
Mona sizes you up a final time and seems to decide that you’re being for real. “For starters, I use leave-in conditioner and brush it through my hair for at least fifteen minutes,” she confides.
It worked! You pegged her just right. A queen bee like Mona can’t resist a fawning captive audience. Before long, she’s telling you all kinds of stuff… like how she was in Babies “R” Us catalogs when she was one year old and has been working ever since, how girls at school are all just jealous of her, and how Jimmy, her escort to Shawna’s party, is in the mall somewhere waiting for her as she speaks.
You see your opening and go for it.
“Yeah, my friends called me a minute ago and said they saw Jimmy at Johnny Rockets. But I didn’t know you were taking him to the party. You guys will look so cute together!” It hurts to even say that, because of course you think you and Jimmy would have made a much cuter pair. But now that you’ve met Bryan, you aren’t so sure how you feel about Jimmy. And right now you gotta do what you gotta do.
“I know,” Mona says. God, she’s conceited. “It just bites that I have to be here right now instead of with him, picking out our outfits. I mean, all this waiting around is what you make the newbies do, not professionals like me.”
“You’re so right,” you say, egging her on. “In fact, why don’t you head over to Johnny Rockets and surprise him? Steve told me the shoot was going to be delayed by at least twenty minutes, so you have plenty of time.” Okay, that’s a total lie, but you have your fingers crossed behind your back, so it doesn’t count.
Mona looks a little hesitant. For all her bravado, she is obviously as scared of ticking off Janice as everyone else is. “Um … I don’t know. …”
“Oh.” You shrug. “I understand. You have to take orders just like the rest of us. My bad. I thought you were, like, the star of the show.”
Monas clear blue eyes take on the hard look that Janice has perfected. “Of course I’m the star of the show.”
“If that’s true,” you answer, blinking innocently, “it’s not like we can start the shoot without you anyway … right?”
Mona puffs out her chest and raises her chin. “That’s right,” she says, then stands up. “I’m going to find Jimmy. And if I decide to take longer than twenty minutes, the photographers will just have to hold their horses!”
You actually clap for her as she leaves, feeding her ego even more. You’re not sure your friends would approve of what you just did, but in this case, you think the ends justify the means. Mona is gone and you don’t have to deal with her constant snarky remarks. Plus, you might have a shot now at ruling this photo shoot. Teen Vogue, here you come!
A couple of minutes later, Janice emerges from the back room, announcing that it is time to get started. “Models, take your places!” she yells. You all file onto the set, which basically consists of some large white squares in front of a background that’s all white except for some gold spray-painted leaves scattered around the floor. The main photographer comes out to arrange the m
odels the way he wants them. The first set of pictures will be group shots, so there are lines of tape on the floor to indicate your marks—where you all need to stand to be in the frame. You are nervous, but excited, positive that with Mona out of the way, you’ll totally steal the spotlight.
But just as you’re thinking that, Janice scans the group and says, “Mona? Where’s Mona?” Her eyes land on you. You could tell her the truth, but you start thinking about the mean things Mona does all the time. She always cuts in the lunch line. She’s pulled the gum-on-your-seat move more than once. And she even made fun of Andy Grain’s weight. She’s a total nightmare. How she ended up hanging with sweet, quiet Jimmy, you have no idea, but you know for sure that he can do better. You could take the high road here, but instead you look right into Janice’s eyes, shrug, and say, “Beats me.” This could quite possibly be the most evil thing you’ve ever done, but come on. Mona deserves it … doesn’t she?
Janice’s face turns an angry shade of red, and her lips purse into a hard, tight line. Whoa, she seriously looks like she’s about to flip her lid. “I need some air, Jean Paul,” she tells the photographer. “Go ahead and get started.”
She angrily stomps out into the hall, heading for the exit. The photographer looks a little unsure at first, but then he starts snapping away. Unfortunately, everyone seems on edge after Janice’s stormy exit. “I said elongate your neck!” Jean Paul keeps telling the model next to you, a really cute guy named Elliott, who you recognize from a couple of magazines. “And you—you’re stepping out of frame.” None of you seem to be doing that well.
And by the time Janice comes back in, having calmed down a little, Mona is standing in the doorway. Not good. Not good at all. What is she doing back so soon? She takes one look at the set and realizes that the shoot has started without her. She glances your way for just a second, but you know you’re in for it. It’s pretty obvious you lied to her.
“Thanks for gracing us with your presence,” Janice says to Mona sarcastically. Jean Paul quits clicking immediately.
Mona looks at the floor, clenching her fists as if she’s barely able to contain her anger. “Chill, Mom. I just had to run to get some water. It won’t happen again.”
“Make sure it doesn’t,” Janice snaps. “Or else this will be your last job with Bebe LaRue. Now get on set!”
“Okay, okay,” Mona says, holding up her hands. She steps onto the white set, shoving in between you and Elliott. For a moment you think maybe she isn’t even mad at you. After all, she could have ratted you out to Janice just now, but she didn’t.
But then she leans over and whispers in your ear, “You’ll pay for that.” And when she pulls away, she is shooting you some serious death glares.
Before you know it, the shoot is back on, and Mona is more determined than ever to box you out of it. And this time, you’re not entirely sure that you don’t deserve it.
Frame after frame, Monas hands end up in front of your face, or she steps on your foot, causing you to bend over in pain just before the photo snaps. And the whole time, she keeps stepping just a little to the left, slowly but surely pushing you to the other side of the tape so that you’re not in the shot at all. The worst part is Jean Paul doesn’t even seem to notice!
So much for your big career in modeling. And from the look on Janice’s face, you can tell you can kiss those Graphic Art Museum wrap-party passes good-bye too. You won’t give Mona the satisfaction of seeing you cry, but you have to admit you’ve been outplayed. The icing on the cake is that you have to face your friends as anything but America’s Next Top Model. Great.
Hate to say this, but ruthlessness is not a good look for you. Your desire to teach Mona a lesson is understandable, but all you managed to do was start a war. And Mona has been playing the ruthless game way longer than you have. So now you’ve blown your big modeling break and let yourself down in a major way. Hopefully things are going better for Jessie and Lena. But if they are, can you put aside your own frustration at how your day turned out and be happy for your friends? Take the quiz and see.
QUIZ TIME!
Circle your answers and tally up the points at the end.
1. Your friend comes to school with yet another brand-new Coach bag. You:
feel extremely annoyed. You don’t have even one Coach bag, let alone a dozen. It feels like she’s just rubbing it in your face.
are kind of jealous. Your friend always has the nicest things, while you are still rocking your older sister’s hand-me-downs. You’re glad for your friend but are upset that it never seems to be your turn.
feel a little embarrassed that you don’t have bags as nice as hers. But it’s always good to see her happy.
are in awe of your friend’s hot sense of style. You’re thrilled she got another bag! Just being seen with someone who owns one of those makes you feel glamorous. And if you’re lucky, maybe she’ll lend it to you!
2. You’ve always been the youngest in the family, but your mom just had a baby. You:
hate it. Say good-bye to all the special attention you used to get. Now it’s baby, baby, baby every single day. The only time anyone seems to remember your name anymore is when your folks want you to change some poopy diapers.
could do without it. Nothing against babies or anything, but this business about skipping family game night just so you can take yet another home video of the baby? Lame.
feel like it’s growing on you. You’re not quite sure yet if you’re going to like sharing the spotlight, but how could you help loving that tiny little face? Clearly the baby’s an evil genius.
love it. You even offer to give up your own room so the baby can have more space. And you’re always the first one to volunteer to change the dirty diapers. All a part of being a big sis.
3. You try out for a plum spot on the soccer team, but another girl is given the star forward spot you wanted, while you’re stuck warming the bench. You:
quit the team. What’s the point of being here if you’re going to spend all your time sitting on the sidelines? And who wants to play for a coach who can’t recognize talent when he sees it?
grumble on the bench to anyone who will listen. Somebody has to hear about what an injustice was done on the field. And you’re sure they’ll all agree with you.
mope about it in silence. You don’t agree with what the coach did, but what he says goes, so there’s nothing you can do about it anyway. Might as well just try your best to put your feelings aside and support the team.
become the loudest bench-warming cheerleader there is. You even offer to wear a goofy mascot costume. If you can’t help your teammates by being on the field, you can at least boost their spirits like crazy!
4. A boy you’ve been dating, Jake, has a friend who is going through a rough time at home, and she has started calling him to talk about it. You:
forbid him to talk to her anymore and start monitoring his phone calls just in case. You know that his friend is dealing with something, but you don’t want her spending too much time with Jake. You seriously doubt she just wants to be his friend.
feel bad for her, but don’t exactly trust her motives, and you tell Jake so. Maybe you’re putting him in an awkward position, but that’s just how you feel.
are a little uneasy about it, but you don’t want Jake to think you don’t trust him. You keep your reservations to yourself but keep an eye on his friend all the same.
feel so sorry for her that you encourage Jake to spend more time with her. They’re friends, after all. If you were in her position, you would hope that Jake would be there for you.
5. You’re a big pop star and are up for a Grammy this year. But the award goes to a newcomer who is being called the next big thing. You:
are furious! How could she have won over you? Are those judges deaf? You storm out and vow to boycott all future awards shows.
clap and smile but are secretly fuming inside. You know for a fact that your album was way better than hers, but there’s no
accounting for taste.
are a little disappointed, but you’ve heard her album and it isn’t half bad. There’s always next year.
are happy just to have been nominated. You tell the reporters she deserved it. She obviously worked hard and is super-talented.
Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered A, 2 points for every B, 3 points for every C, and 4 points for every D.
—If you scored between 5 and 12, go to chapter 19
—If you scored between 13 and 20, go to chapter 18
Brava! You’re nobody’s doormat. When someone tries to take advantage of you, you don’t stand for it. In fact, you make your voice heard loud and clear. You’d make a great lawyer or political activist. But choose your battles wisely. Not every situation calls for you to jump down someone’s throat.
After Steve heads up to the front to talk to the head photographer, Jean Paul, you pull the curtain back and check out the set. It is all white with a few large white cubes in the center. The only spots of color are the spray-painted gold leaves scattered across the floor. Against that background, the glammed-up models, all dressed in shades of blue, brown, and other earth tones, really stand out—especially the very pouty Mona, who, despite being such a nightmare, looks great. Her jet-black hair, falling on the sides of her face in gentle waves, and her alabaster skin and soft pink lips make her look like a doll or an angel. If you didn’t know her, and if Bryan hadn’t just given you an earful about her, you might think Mona was sweet. Too bad she’s such an obnoxious diva.
Then again, you do feel kind of sorry for her. After all, it couldn’t have been easy growing up with Janice as her mom. Janice doesn’t exactly seem like the nurturing type. And you guess that if you had been doing the modeling thing for a while, like Mona, it would be pretty easy to get caught up in the lifestyle and start believing that you’re more fabulous than everyone else. Admit it: You’ve been a model for only about two hours, and already you’re this close to demanding a bowl of red-only M&M’S, and you have a hankering for fancy French coffee—and you don’t even drink coffee! You could easily turn into Kimora Lee Simmons—the epitome of a demanding woman living the fab life—if you didn’t have friends like Lena and Jessie, who will let you know in a heartbeat when you’re Riverdancing on their last nerve, and then make you laugh about it. Does Mona have anybody like that in her life? You doubt it. Maybe she just needs some more down-to-earth friends.
Your Life, but Better Page 11
