by J. C. Hart
And still, she couldn't feel the goddess.
It was time to surrender.
"I come to you, Mother Earth, Goddess, Papatūānuku. I know you by many names, but mostly I know you by the blood that flows within my veins. You are not just Mother Earth, but my mother. And Mother, I beg of you, take me, use me as your vessel, and imbue me with the power to protect your children, the power to protect Kotahi Bay." Alyssa waited. She could feel the magic in the air, feel it pause as though it would evaporate in an instant. As though it had slipped through her fingers already, and she sobbed, let down her barriers, every last one of them, letting love flow from her. Accepting finally what she was, what she yearned for.
She could feel Jake's grip on her fingers and she pushed, pushed out with all the love she had, all the caring, every trace of compassion that filled her body. A massive boom sounded, and then Jake's fingers slipped free of hers and when she opened her eyes she was alone in the clearing.
"Oh god. What have I done?" She scanned around for the others but they weren't anywhere to be seen. The sky was tranquil, the river sedate. And she was alone.
No. Not alone. On the other side of the river stood a woman, her long black hair flowing free around her naked form.
"So you've come home," Papatūānuku spoke, her voice lovelier than anything Alyssa had ever heard before. So beautiful that it brought her to her knees.
"I came home." Tears flowed freely down her cheeks and she wasn't sure whether it was because she was sad, or happy, or some other ineffable emotion.
"And you want to be a part of me." The woman nodded sagely.
"I do, at least I think I do. I'm so afraid, but I want to be a person who helps. Who cares for others, who protects those who can't protect themselves. I want to know my family."
"And do you want the child?"
"Do I have a choice?" Alyssa asked. She was nervous, so nervous about the answer. “I'll take it if I need to, but I'd rather use that life force for something else. If I can."
"I'm listening."
"There's a boy coming, he'll be here soon and he's dying. There is no cure. I'd trade a child of my own to heal him."
"You don't want the magic for the magic’s sake?" Papatūānuku cocked her head, the move strange, birdlike.
Alyssa laughed, or sobbed, she wasn’t sure. "The magic is not the reason I want to embrace this. It's a means to an end, not the thing I really crave."
"And what do you crave, little one." Papatūānuku was beside her then, kneeling on the thick grass, her hand tracing the lines of Alyssa's cheek.
"I crave a home. I crave love. I crave belonging."
"You are home. You are loved. You belong." Papatūānuku bestowed a kiss on Alyssa's forehead. Her lips felt like the breeze, like the kiss of the sea, and her breath was the smell of rich, deep earth.
"I belong," Alyssa whispered as daylight faded to black.
"Alyssa, Alyssa, wake up," someone said.
"Mmmph" she muttered. "Don't wanna."
"We need you." Another voice this time, another set of hands trying to prop her up.
"I just want to sleep for a bit more. I'm having such a nice dream." But they had her upright, and she opened her eyes, remembering where they were. The clearing. Papatūānuku. Not a dream.
Not. A. Dream.
"Oh god. Oh Goddess!" She pressed her palms into her eyes and drew her knees into her chest, trying not to cry. "That happened, didn't it? Are you guys okay? Where did you go?"
"We didn't go anywhere," Samantha said. "You're the one who disappeared."
"What? I was standing here, and you were gone."
"She drew you into the earth, Alyssa," Melody said softly. "We didn't know if you were going to come back."
"She what?" Alyssa eyes popped wide open. Everyone was nodding. "Well, we're going to have words later, you can be sure of that."
Jake chuckled. "You're going to have words with Papatūānuku?"
"You bet your ass I will. We're like this now." She crossed her fingers, allowing herself a little grin.
"We can tell. You've...changed," Moana added.
"Changed? I don't feel that different."
"Your eyes are brown, and your hair? It's way darker now."
"What?" She grabbed a strand and dragged it around so she could see. Well shit. It was darker now. She'd spent a lot of time wishing she had dark hair like her mother, and now she did. "Well then. That explains a few things. Wow. Okay." She reached a hand out, waiting for someone to pull her up. Noah came to her rescue, gently setting her on her feet and keeping a hold on her arm to steady her.
"You think you're going to be okay?" he asked. They all looked rattled, but despite a few wobbles, she'd never felt better.
Papatūānuku had said it. She belonged. She was home. She was loved.
Life couldn't get much better.
"Yup. All good. Just give me a minute. I'll see if I can strengthen the barrier, and then we'll go see what we can do about Michael."
She brushed herself off and took a few steps so that she was clear of the group. Then she closed her eyes, envisaging the whole of the town, she reached down so that her hands skimmed the earth and then she raised them, imagining an invisible barrier being drawn from the earth, all the way up and over them so that nothing could be seen. When she was done, she dropped her arms and closed her eyes, swaying on her feet. That had taken a lot more out of her than she'd expected.
"I don't know if that worked, but I guess we'll find out soon enough. It feels right though." She nodded, then stumbled. Jake and Moana stepped forward in unison, catching her as she fell.
"I think you need some rest," Moana said. "No need to go killing yourself for the place." She gave a wink, and then let Noah and Jake take an arm each and support her back up the path.
It took them twice as long to get to the car. She fretted on the way, her thoughts turning to Michael, hoping that he wasn't in too much pain, that her magic could heal him.
The certainty and peace she'd felt when she was with Papatūānuku seemed to drain the further they got from Rover's Bend. Had she really met the goddess? Had she really been imbued with her magic?
More importantly, would any of that be any use when they got to Michael.
As soon as Alyssa saw the car she found a surge of energy, and moments later Brandon had his arms around her.
"Are you okay?" he asked. "You look...different."
"So they say." She gave him a little smile. "How is he?"
Brandon's shoulders sagged. "Not good."
"Shit," Alyssa uttered. "Let me see him. Let me try and help."
"You've already extended yourself, Alyssa. Do you really think that's a good idea?" Samantha, ever the voice of reason.
"It's the best idea I can think of." She rounded on Sam. "I've done the barrier, I can't think of anything better to use my magic on than trying to fix a sick little boy. Can you? Besides, the Goddess and I have a deal."
Sam took a step back, clearly intimidated. "I was just looking out for you."
"I know. I'm sorry if I snapped but it's been a long day and I will not be responsible for that boy’s death. I won't let Mrs Nolan win. And I won't let Tū win either." She grabbed Brandon's hand and squeezed. "Where are they?"
The ambulance was parked near the side of the road. The back doors swung open to reveal Esther, gripping the hand of a little boy. She turned her shadow gouged eyes to them and beckoned.
Alyssa put a hand on her mouth, trying to stifle the sob that wanted to tear free of her throat. She moved to the other side of the bed and held his small hand between her palms.
Without another word, another thought, she closed her eyes and pushed her magic through his body. It flowed out of her, pooling inside him. She could see it in her mind, changing colour, eating away at the sickness, replacing sick cells with healthy ones. She could do this. She could make him better. She could fix it and stop Brandon from being so sad. She was there, she could sense it, it was all clea
r, and Michael's eyes fluttered open, blue and beautiful, free of pain and full of wonder.
Alyssa smiled and let go, then she could feel her legs begin to wobble and she sank to the floor of the ambulance.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
He shook Alyssa but she didn't stir. He barely even registered that Michael was sitting up in the bed. Esther was shrieking, but it must have been happiness, bewilderment. He couldn't process it right now. Michael was alive, and looking better and that was the main thing. Alyssa on the other hand was pale and out of place in her new hair. All he wanted was for her to open her eyes, to show that she was still okay.
He lifted her off the floor and manoeuvred her through the door, onto the ground outside.
Kelly had finally made it through the barrier Noah, Melody, and Samantha had erected and she rushed to Alyssa's side.
"What's wrong?" she asked, panic making her voice high pitched. "What's wrong with her and why is her hair that colour and what have you people been doing to her."
"I don't know what's wrong," Brandon replied. "But we need to check her over." He brushed the hair back from her face, lowering his cheek to feel the soft exhale of her breath.
"She's breathing," he said. "Alyssa, Alyssa, wake up. Come on, you can't leave me like this. You did it, you saved him." Brandon ran a hand across her cheek, willing her to open her eyes. "Come on. I know you're in there," he whispered to her prone form. He set his lips on her forehead and kissed her, hoping that maybe like in some fairy tale she would wake.
Samantha joined them on the ground, placing her hands on Alyssa's chest. "She's weak, her breathing is too shallow."
"She's not going to die though, is she?" Kelly asked.
Sam shook her head. "I don't know. Unless you've got a way to help renew her energy?"
Brandon scanned his brain, trying to think of who might be able to help, but everyone he knew lived outside of town. No, something needed to be done, and now. And he was the master of death, surely that meant he had connections to life as well. Somehow, he needed to transfer life, and he would gladly give some of his own if it meant this woman, the woman who had saved his nephew, and stolen his heart, could live a full and wonderful life.
"Noah, can you escort Kelly back? I'm going to try something, just, I don't know, pull us apart if it looks like it's going wrong, Sam. I don't really know if it'll work, but it can't hurt."
Or could it... The last thing he wanted to do was draw her closer to death, but he had to give it a try.
Sam moved back, but rested her hands on Brandon's shoulders as though offering him a little support. "Do your thing."
"Thanks." Brandon shook his head, trying to push away the excess chatter in his brain and focus on Alyssa. She was so beautiful lying there, even though she looked a little like someone else. He could feel the essence of her, still the same, but more, stronger yet weaker at the same time. He placed his hands on her throat, searching for the rhythmic thump of blood pumping through her veins, sluggish but definitely there, and then he closed his eyes and summoned his magic, willing it to work in reverse. Not bringing something back from death to something less than life but bringing something back to life from something not quite death.
Brandon steeled himself as he felt the magic chip away at him, it burrowed deep, borrowed from him and he had to clench his teeth to keep back the sound of his pain.
After what felt like an age Brandon heard Alyssa gasp and he felt Sam yank him backward, disconnecting them. He lay there on the ground, staring at the sky as darkness pulled at the edge of his vision.
"Brandon? What did you do?" Alyssa's voice was plaintive. "What did you do you silly man?"
"Saved your life," he mumbled. "Is that all the thanks I get?"
She crawled until she was pressed along his side, her lips on his, so soft, so sweet that he felt a surge of life flooding through him.
"Thank you," she whispered, then she gave a shallow laugh as she ran her fingers through his hair. "You're lucky you look good with grey hair."
"Grey? You're kidding me right?" His fingers reached for hers, drawing them to his lips where he pressed another kiss. "Whatever. It was worth it."
Alyssa laughed again as she sat up, pulling him with her. "So, Michael. He's okay?"
"I think so. He opened his eyes, but then you collapsed and I..."
"And you thought you needed to save my life."
"Hey, don't tell me you didn't need a little help."
"Maybe."
"Oh just admit it. Or kiss me."
She pressed her lips against his, her kiss rejuvenating him somewhat. At least, in some areas of his body.
"If you two are quite done..." Sam interjected. "I'll get out of the way, I think. Need a bit of rest after all that excitement."
He broke the kiss, smiling at Alyssa before looking at Sam. "Thanks for all your help," he said.
"Wasn't a whole lot I could do in this situation."
"But you were here, you pitched in. I really appreciate it."
"We really appreciate it," Alyssa added.
"Kind of the least we could do after everything you've done for us, Alyssa. We, ah, we might leave you to it." Sam glanced back at the others. "Do you want me to take Kelly back to yours? And what about Esther..."
"Yeah, drop Kelly at mine, and if you guys could sort out something to eat... I'm kind of famished. We won't be too far behind," Alyssa said, her stomach growling in confirmation.
Pop out to summon the goddess, get a magical makeover, and then home for dinner? No worries. Alyssa really was something else.
Brandon glanced at the ambulance, his heart warming when he saw Michael had been unhooked from all the tubes. He wasn't out of bed yet, but Esther looked ten years younger. "I'll talk to Esther, and see if she wants to stick around. They may need to head back to the city."
"Okay. I'll see you guys soon then." Sam lingered for a moment, then stooped down to hug Alyssa. She held her for a minute, whispered something into her ear before she headed to Noah's car and manhandled a seriously unimpressed Kelly in.
"What did she say?" he asked as they drove away.
"Oh, nothing much," Alyssa replied with a smile. "Just that you're a keeper. I think she's relieved I wasn't wrong about you."
"You? Wrong?" He raised an eyebrow and she smacked him playfully.
"Go on," Alyssa said, nodding at the ambulance. She got to her feet, pulling him with her. "You should check in on them."
"She'll want to thank you, he will too." Not to mention the fact that he didn’t want to be away from her.
Alyssa tugged on her earlobe and looked away.
"You okay?" He reached for her hand and pulled her closer.
"I'm just really bloody tired, and I'm not sure I can handle any more excitement." She bit her lip, then finally met his gaze. "Is that okay?" She looked so vulnerable then, nothing at all like she had the power of a goddess inside her.
"They'll understand. I understand." He kissed her on the forehead. "Why don't you go sit in the car and I'll be there soon."
She shuffled away and he watched until she was safely in the car before he closed the distance between him and his sister, his nephew. He was alive. And all because of Alyssa.
Chapter Thirty
Alyssa was surprised to find that the house still looked the same. In fact, everything did. It wasn't like you could see the barrier around the town, though she could feel the buzz of it flowing inside her, a new constant. Had she ever felt that as a child? If she had, she didn't remember. There was so much she didn't remember.
Brandon's arm was firmly around her waist, though she thought at this point it was less him holding her up than them keeping each other standing. It had been a long hard day for both of them.
And it wasn't quite over yet. She still had to face Kelly.
The door opened before they got to the porch and Kelly stood there, half behind the door as though she still wasn't sure if she needed the protection.
"You
dyed your hair," she said.
Alyssa laughed. "Yeah, something like that. Time for a change, I figured."
"I got pizza. You still like that right? Sam was going to stay but I thought maybe we could just hang out, the three of us?" Hope emanated from her eyes and Alyssa didn't have the heart to deny her.
"Of course, that'll be fun. Like old times."
But not. Not really.
"I didn't know what you were hoping for, so I told Grant I'd catch the bus back to town in the morning. I can always get him to come and pick me up—"
"No. No that's fine." Alyssa smiled and then finally closed the distance between them. Her arms rose of their own volition, beckoning Kelly in for a hug, and it wasn't until the other woman was in her embrace that she realized she wasn't even the slightest bit angry.
"I forgive you," she whispered into Kelly's hair. "And I mean it, not just half-assed. What you did wasn't okay, but I don't hate you for it, and I don't hate him for it, and none of it really matters now."
"Oh Lysie, I missed you so much," Kelly whispered back, squeezing her even tighter.
It felt good to be held like this, by someone who had known her before. Kelly might never truly grasp what Alyssa was—and she had no intention of sharing it all—but that didn't matter because sometimes, what you need is just someone who’s known you for a long time, from when you were younger and another you.
"I missed you too," Alyssa said, though she meant those words less; life had changed dramatically and there was no returning to the past. She pulled back from the hug and assessed her friend. "You look happy," she said.
"I am, Lysie. I really am. All I needed to make life perfect was to hear from you." Kelly narrowed her eyes. "Even if it did require fulfilling strange requests and being kept away from you..."
Alyssa laughed again. She had no idea how she was going to explain any of this away, but it would all be easier with a glass of something alcoholic and a few slices of pizza inside her. She moved into the house, waiting for Brandon to follow before she closed the door on the world.
