Playthang

by Janine A. Morris

  “I haven’t hit her yet,”Tayese said as soon as she answered.

  No hello, no nothing. Straight to the point to let Jordan know she knew exactly why she was calling. They both started laughing.

  “You not funny, heifer, now call her.”

  “You are a mess.”

  “No, I know he knows her. I also know that when she went to 40/40 after she left us, she met Jayon there. I need to know what the extent of their relationship is.”

  With no more laughter in her tone,Tayese said, “How you know all that?”

  “He told me he was at 40/40, and I looked in his phone and saw that he and her were e-mailing each other. Her last name is Hertz, right?”

  “Wow, yeah it is. What a small world.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Call that chick and find out what I need to know.”

  “Now I don’t know if I want to get involved in this.”

  “Tayese, stop playing. You are my friend. If Jayon is up to no good, I need to know.”

  “Aight, girl, I’ll hit her as soon as I hang up with you.”

  Jordan hung up the phone an emotional mess. She didn’t know what she even wanted to happen. A piece of her wanted to get the information that she needed, that she was expecting, because it would answer so much. His behavior and lack of enthusiasm, his lack of interest in sex, and his attitude a lot of the time. She wanted to be able to curse him out and say everything that had been in the back of her mind for weeks.Yet on the other hand, she wasn’t ready to face the painful truth that he had betrayed her trust and once again broken her heart. She couldn’t really imagine how it would feel to hear that he was creeping around behind her back.

  Jackie came up and broke her trance.

  “Darren Williams is on line one,” Jackie said.

  “Thanks,” Jordan said as she reached for the phone.

  “Hello, Mr. Williams,” Jordan said when she answered.

  “Hello, Ms. Moore,” he responded.

  “How may I help you today?”

  “By accompanying me to lunch,” Darren responded.

  “You just won’t quit, will you?” Jordan replied with a giggle.

  “No.You’re not the type of woman you just give up on.”

  Jordan had to admit to herself that she could use the flattery right about now. A reminder that she was one in a million was exactly the cure to replace her backbone. The past ten hours or so, she had been trying to figure out how Jayon could be so stupid over some short, half-cute support staff and risk losing all that she was.

  “You want to go to lunch when?” she asked.

  “Today would be nice,” he responded.

  “How about tomorrow?” she replied.

  Jordan knew she was in for a dramatic day; she couldn’t bother with anything additional.

  “OK, tomorrow at one. I’ll be by the office.”

  “See you then,” Jordan replied as she hung up.

  Jordan was dying to call Tayese back, but she figured she wouldn’t rush it. When she left the house that morning to drop Jason off at school, Jayon was almost ready to walk out too. When Jason was home, Jayon would get up before Jason and lay on the couch. Jordan didn’t want her son seeing anotherman sleeping in the same bed with his mother, so she requestedJayon respect that, and he did. When Jordan was leaving, Jayon pulled her aside and whispered to her that he missed her last night. Jordan was surprised at his sudden sweetness,and although she wanted to embrace him so badly, she knew there was a good chance she would be finding out somethingdreadful, and she didn’t want to open her heart up any more than it already was.

  An hour had gone by and Jordan still hadn’t heard anythingfrom Tayese. Jordan hadn’t gotten any work done; she had been completely distracted. She had called Chrasey and told her what happened, and Chrasey told her it was probably nothing. Jordan knew she probably didn’t want to agree that it was pretty suspect, just being a friend.Tayese probably was hesitatingto call back for that same reason—she didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news. Jordan was sitting at her desk, attempting to read over a contract that her thoughts wouldn’t let her comprehend. Jordan picked up the phone and began dialing Jayon’s number.

  “Hey, dear,” he answered.

  “Hey, Jayon,” she said.

  “What’s up?”

  “I have a question to ask you, and I need you to be completelyhonest with me.”

  “What’s up?”

  “What is the relationship between you and Randi Hertz?” Jayon took a second.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Jayon.You know exactly what I mean.”

  “We used to work together.”

  “And?”

  “And, we are still cool. We kind of stay in touch.”

  “Has there been anything between you two, then or now?”

  “Where is this coming from?”

  At first his hesitancy was giving it away, but that question said it all.

  “What do you mean, ‘where is this coming from,’ Jayon? It’s a damn question.”

  “But I tell you she was my coworker and we kept in touch, and you jump to asking me has there been something between us.”

  “Since you want to act dumb, why don’t you put two and two together? Me and her were both at that event last night that you conveniently avoided; you don’t think I am asking for a reason? If you want to see what I know before you answer, not a chance.”

  “Jordan, I just don’t know where this is coming from. Randi is just someone I’m cool with, and we used to work together.”

  “And that’s it? You never fucked her?” Jordan blurted out, pissed off.

  “This is crazy,” Jayon said.

  “I bet it is. Crazy to you or me. Crazy that you have been walking around here pretending, and making me seem like I was bugging when I said you were acting strange, and all along you were playing games again.”

  Jayon didn’t say anything.

  “Jayon, I’m going to ask you one more time. Is there anythingyou want to tell me about you and Randi?”

  “I’m sorry, J!”

  Jordan’s heart dropped. She called his bluff, but really she was the one who lost after all.Those three words were enough; she knew what was to follow. Overwhelmed with all of her emotions, she hung up, jumped up, and closed her office door. Jordan didn’t even make it back to her desk before she collapsedon the floor in tears. She could feel her heart in her stomach. All she could think about was this skank staring at her like she was a fool, knowing that she had been with her man who knows how many times, and that she was on her way to see him right then. The chick was watching while Jordanstood there so confident and so together, but in this chick’s eyes it was all false because she knew what Jordan didn’t. Jordan was so angry and so hurt all at once, she couldn’t think straight.

  She heard her phone vibrate, and she heard her secretary tell her over the intercom that Jayon was on line one. Jackie knew not to knock when Jordan had the door closed and was ignoring the intercom; she knew that probably meant that she wasn’t to be interrupted. Jordan lay there bawling, until she heard Jackie say over the intercom that Tayese was on line one. Jordan quickly stood up and went over to the desk. She wasn’t sure why, but she wanted to hear everything. She was definitely embarrassed, but Tayese was a good enough friend that she could be vulnerable in front of her.

  “Hey, girl,” Tayese said as soon as Jordan got off the line.

  “Hey,” Jordan said.

  “You sound like you been crying.”

  “I have. Let’s just say my instincts are always on point.”

  “Yeah, I figured. But don’t let it get you down, J. It’s not the end of the world.”

  “What did you find out?” Jordan said, cutting to the chase.

  “Nothing really. She just said they started messing around when they used to work together, and it has been kind of an on and off thing. Of course I had to promise I wouldn’t tell you, but I’m sure she knew it was a possibility.”

&nbs
p; Jordan wasn’t paying a bit of attention to the agreement they made, and she was trying to dissect everything in her mind.

  “On and off, continuing through now?”

  “I think so.”

  As Jordan listened to her friend, she dug the courage back up to face Jayon with it. The pain subdued for a minute, and the anger was taking over.

  “Tayese, let me call you right back,” Jordan said suddenly.

  “OK.”

  Jordan hung up and dialed Jayon’s number.

  “You’re sorry?” Jordan said with a very curt tone when he answered.

  “Yes, Jordan, I am. It’s not how you think.”

  “You’ve been fucking that bitch on and off for over a year, the entire time you were supposed to be only with me.What’s not how I think?”

  “Jordan, it wasn’t like that.”

  “I really wish you would grow up and stop making excuses for yourself. Admit that you have insecurity problems that lead you to need acceptance and ass from any woman that is willing to give it to you.”

  Typically, Jayon remained silent while Jordan vented. She tried to fight her tears back; this was not a moment to be vulnerable.This was strictly to let him know that he was a piece of dirt.

  “If you want a whore like Randi that doesn’t even respect herself enough to at least expect to be acknowledged, have that. She is cool with being the secret, because she isn’t worth being spoken for, and that’s why she plays her position so well. So, have that, because it’s obvious that you are not worth havingme.”

  Jayon still didn’t say anything back. Jordan sat there for a few seconds awaiting some sort of response, and once she realizedthat there was nothing for him to say, she hung up again.

  18

  Jordan had canceled all of her appointments for the day, includingher lunch with Darren, and then spent the day at home. She had slept pretty late, woke up with puffy eyes from crying the night before, and was just getting around to making herself some coffee in the kitchen.

  “I can’t believe you e-mailed her,” Chrasey said.

  “Yes, I did. It was easy to remember. It was her name at Jayon’s old company. I e-mailed her and told her it was home-wreckingno-class bitches like her that ruined the essence of sisterhood.”

  “You didn’t say essence of sisterhood, did you?” Chrasey said with a giggle.

  “Yes, I did too. I proceeded to tell her that she could have him, although the truth was he didn’t want her. I said Jayon doesn’t respect sluts, and being that all you were was ass to him for all this time, you will never be anything more. Maybe if you had enough respect for yourself, to where you didn’t sleep with him while he was in a relationship and knew you had to be quiet when I was on the phone, or couldn’t call him after a certain time, maybe he or I would’ve thought you had some self-respect. But since you played your position so well, that has become your permanent position: side ho. Enjoy it.”

  “Damn, Jordan, you said all of that?”

  “Oh, the e-mail was long.When I finished writing it, I cc’d Jayon.”

  Chrasey burst out laughing. “You playing, right?”

  “Nope, and I called her a slore.”

  “I wonder if she’ll figure out that means slut whore.”

  “I’m sure she’s familiar with the term.”

  Jordan had been in her kitchen telling Chrasey the story as she finished making herself some coffee and an English muffin.She was still in her robe and Victoria’s Secret bootie slippers.She had decided hours ago she wasn’t going in to the office. She needed a day off to just clear her mind and do whatever healing she could in twenty-four hours. She was numb on the inside, and she didn’t really have the desire to share her embarrassment with too many people. She wasn’t planning on telling Chrasey either, but when she called to see why she wasn’t in the office, Jordan went ahead and shared the drama with her.

  “So, you aren’t considering forgiving him?” Chrasey asked.

  Jordan didn’t know what to say. Her instinct was to say hell no, but she knew there was a piece of her that would always remember the Jayon she once knew. That piece of her would always find it hard to hate him.

  “Forgive Jayon, my boyfriend? No, I don’t think I can do that this time. Try to forgive Jayon, my friend? I’m hoping I will one day.”

  As Jordan tried to answer the question, her emotions got the best of her and a tear fell from her eye.

  “I understand,” Chrasey said.

  “Maybe we were trying to make something that wasn’t there. We were great friends, but maybe that’s all he was capable of. Maybe I wasn’t more than his homegirl, and the relationshipthing wasn’t for us.”

  “But y’all were really good together.You can’t say that. It’s not like y’all were forcing it.”

  “Well, obviously he felt forced to do something. He wasn’t obliging with monogamy.”

  “That was him feeling forced to be faithful, and that’s just a man issue. Nothing to do with the two of you.”

  “I guess,” Jordan said as she wiped away the tears that had fallen.

  As Jordan placed the tissue down, she heard a noise comingfrom the front of her house. She tried to peek out the kitchen door, but she couldn’t see anything from where she stood.

  “Hold on,” Jordan whispered as she got up from the stool. She walked more toward the kitchen door and could hear the noise was coming from the front door. She put the phone back to her ear.

  “Someone is at my front door, and it better not be Jayon.”

  “You didn’t get your keys back yet?”

  “Chrasey, when? I haven’t seen him.”

  As Jordan watched the front of her house, she saw Jayon appear in the front entryway, looking a bit nervous.

  “It’s Jayon. Let me call you back,” Jordan said as she hung up the phone.

  Before Jayon even took another step, Jordan walked toward him.

  “What do you want, Jayon?”

  “Jordan ... ”

  “What do you want, Jayon?”

  “I want to just talk to you.”

  “Oh, now you want to talk? When I wanted to talk for the past few months, you didn’t have time.You told me that it was nothing to talk about because we were fine. Now ... now you want to talk.”

  “Jordan, just hear me out.”

  “Jayon, there’s nothing to talk about.We are fine.”

  Jayon let out a sigh. He realized at that moment that this wasn’t going to be easy. He knew that already, but he had let the fact that he had made it through the door and she hadn’t thrown something at him fool him into thinking that there was a chance they could be civilized. As far as Jordan was concerned,he was a day late and a dollar short.

  “Jordan, I know you are mad at me and you have every right to hate me. Still, we are both adults. Can we just talk about it?”

  Jayon sat on the couch after he finished his statement. Jordancut her eyes over at him as if he had just said something bad about her mama.

  “We are adults? We are adults? Are we really? I am an adult. You are a damn child.You lie like a child, you’re sneaky like a child, and you manipulate like a child. Don’t feed me your mature talk, because there’s not shit your childish ass can say to me.”

  “The name calling is necessary, Jordan?”

  Once again, Jordan looked at Jayon with fury. He just didn’t get it. He had no room to judge or ask questions.

  “Get the hell out of my house,” Jordan said, fed up with Jayon’s presence.

  Jayon went to say something, but Jordan didn’t even give him a chance.

  “Get the hell out of my house, Jayon. I have absolutely nothing to say to you.You go be an adult with Randi.”

  Jayon just dropped his head.

  “And give me my keys,” Jordan added.

  Jayon didn’t move.

  “Jordan, I’m not leaving here without at least saying what I have to say.”

  “What, Jayon? What do you have to say?”

  Jo
rdan’s heart was beating ridiculously fast. She had gotten herself all wound up, and as usual, Jayon was cool as a fan. She wanted to jump over the couch and strangle him.

  “Jordan, you are never going to forgive me for this, I know. I know this because we have been here before, and I promised you this wouldn’t be an issue again. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. I wish I could tell you a good enough reason for it, but I can’t. I have to deal with my stupidity for being so selfish, and I know that.”

  “I know all this already, Jayon. So what is it you feel the need to add?”

  “That it’s not your fault.”

  Jayon looked up at Jordan and stared her dead in her face. Prior to hearing that sentence, she was ready to break and continueher verbal lashing, but when she looked in his eyes and heard his words, she knew that he was trying to convey somethingthat he had thought about. Jordan just dropped her eyes, trying to fight back the tears.

  “I didn’t deserve you. I never did. I knew that, and I always wondered if you knew that. I’m not sure if it was my fear that one day you would wake up and not want to do this anymore, but I couldn’t let myself be hurt again.”

  Jordan shrugged her shoulders and did a “yeah, OK” sound when he said that, but before she could get defensive, Jayon hurried to continue.

  “I’m not blaming Dawn for breaking off the engagement;I’m just saying that it was my fault. Not that Randi was a solution, but she was just someone that seemed easier to be with.”

  “Oh, so she was easier ... You want it easy... .”

  “No, I just knew she wasn’t better than me, and I mean ...”

  “Jayon!”

  “What? I’m serious, and I just felt that you were.”

  “Who told you to feed me this bullshit? Was this Horatio’s idea, ’cause it’s good.”

  “Jordan, I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. I’ve been thinking about this all night. I couldn’t sleep.”

  “Well, neither could I, Jayon, and although I appreciate you coming by here to assure me I’m worthy of a man, I never doubted that it was you. I have been nothing but good to you, and if you couldn’t appreciate that, then that’s on you. Easy gets you just that ... easy. So you and Randi enjoy your life on your level.”