Playthang

by Janine A. Morris

  “It’s like he is hiding or something,” Dakota said with a chuckle. “He can run but he can’t hide. He will eventually have to pass our tests.”

  Jordan laughed. She knew that Dakota wasn’t lying; they were a hard group of friends to come by. They asked all the hard questions, and they didn’t hold any punches, especially Dakota. As she put it, they were too old to be wasting time or playing games.

  “In time, you will meet him. He is a really nice guy. I don’t feel like I know much about him, but I enjoy the time we spend together. He seems pretty successful, and the sex is good,” Jordan said.

  “Well, he passes my test, the three Ss. Successful, Sexy, and Single,” Dakota said.

  “Please, since when was single a requirement for you ?” Jordansaid.

  Chrasey burst out laughing. “Good one,” she said to Jordan.

  “Y’all heifers are not funny,” Dakota said. “If you’re speakingof my ex, Tony was single when we first got together.”

  “Yeah, and he was a first. Maybe that has some odd connectionto why y’all are still together,” Jordan said, laughing.

  “Oh, you are just on a roll, aren’t you?” Dakota said.

  “I’m joking with you. Just some fun jabs back at you for all those jabs you took at me,” Jordan said.

  Chrasey had stood up and went over by the bar to pour herself another strawberry daiquiri.

  “Pour me some too,” Jordan said.

  Jordan and Dakota remained sprawled out on the couch, too comfortable to move. There were two empty glasses on the table, and a bowl of potato chips and pretzels.The tray that had once been filled with quesadillas was now empty with only some leftover sour cream and salsa. The ladies weren’t drunk, but the place looked like they had been partying all night, and it had only been about two hours.

  “When is Jason coming home?” Dakota asked.

  “Next week. Omar asked if he could stay with him a little longer,” Jordan said.

  “That’s sweet that it’s so hard to let him go. He loves his son,” Chrasey said.

  “Yeah, with these deadbeat dads these days, Omar is all right in my book,” Dakota said.

  “Especially when Keith lies around and doesn’t do anythingwith Quinton. I wish he cared as much as Omar about fatherhood,” Chrasey said.

  “They all have their flaws,” Jordan said. “Every last freaking one of them.”

  43

  Jordan stepped out her door and headed to her truck. She was dressed in a sharp beige suit with a black collared shirt and some black and beige pumps. She was heading to work a little late because she was trying to avoid the rush hour traffic. She had dropped Jason off at school a couple of hours ago and heard on the radio there was traffic on the Long Island Expressway,so she decided she would go in an hour or so later.

  Jordan was placing her things in her backseat when she heard a horn. She looked over her shoulder and saw Omar parked across the street in his silver Lexus truck. Jordan was surprised to see him and shut the door to the car.

  “Omar?” she said as she walked toward him.

  As she got closer, she could see the solemn look on his face. She became concerned as she walked up to the car window.

  “What’s wrong, O?”

  “Nothing. You got a minute?” he asked as he pressed the button to unlock the doors.

  “Sure,” Jordan said as she walked around to the other side of the car to get in.

  Once she sat down and closed the door behind her, she looked over in Omar’s direction. He looked like he’d had a rough night and morning, but she couldn’t tell from what.

  “Omar, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you,” he replied. His voice sounded tired and weak. He wasn’t exerting any energy, as if he didn’t have any. He didn’t seem drunk or sick at all, just weary like he hadn’t slept all night.

  “OK, I’m all ears,” Jordan replied.

  “Jordan, I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For everything. Everything I put you through.”

  Jordan was speechless for a moment; she didn’t know what to say.

  “For not being an understanding husband, for leaving the way I did ...” Omar’s voice cracked some. Jordan looked over at him to see if her ears were deceiving her. “For that night that I came over mad and made you have sex with me. I am so sorry.”

  Tears had begun to stream down Omar’s face, and the sight of seeing him this way and remembering that horrid night made Jordan’s eyes begin to water as well.

  “It’s OK, Omar, I forgive you. You were going through a lot, and so was I.We both did things out of anger and emotion, and I’m sorry too. It’s the past.”

  “That’s the thing, Jordan; it’s not in the past. We have a son together. Me and you are forever. Regardless of if we never spoke again, me and you are forever. For that reason alone, I owed you and our relationship so much more.”

  Jordan was wiping away the tears that had fallen from her eyes. Omar reached into his glove compartment and took some tissue out. He gave her one and used one to remove the evidenceof his vulnerable moment.

  “I can say the same, Omar. We are human. I was told by people I should’ve waited for you longer before I started seeingJayon, or when you came back I should’ve left Jayon.Who knows what was right. We did what we felt at the time. We can’t fix that.”

  “That’s true, but I started this mess, so I can’t be mad at how you reacted without looking at me. I just up and left, wouldn’t respond to your phone calls for weeks. I even ended up getting engaged to another woman. I had a lot of fault in it, and I know that.”

  Jordan was pleased to hear Omar reflect in such a mature way, but she was confused as to why almost two years later he was saying these things to her.

  “Omar, we are both at fault. I must admit though, I am confused. Where is this coming from?”

  “I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. I was up all night packing up Elisa’s stuff ’cause we broke off the engagementlast week.”

  Jordan’s mouth dropped open. “Really, I didn’t know.”

  “Yeah, it’s not going to work. She was there when I was going through all that mess trying to let go of you, and I tried to create something that wasn’t there. I tried to re-create something that was unique.”

  Jordan was sitting there in shock. Wow, Omar is single again, she was thinking. She hadn’t conceived the idea of him and her in so long. They had gone so far and left so suddenly, she never thought they would or could get things back right.

  “Omar, you sure you aren’t looking for comfort in me to get you through trying to get over her?”

  “No, Jordan. I knew you would think that, and that’s why I didn’t want to tell you we weren’t together. I have been thinkingthis way for a while now; I just knew it wasn’t respectful to Elisa to tell you.”

  “It wouldn’t have been disrespectful to tell me sorry.”

  “Well, I told you sorry, but disrespectful to come talk to you and tell you how much sorrow I felt and how much I still loved you.”

  The words just rolled off his tongue, but to Jordan they were like bricks falling on her. She looked down right away, as if she was too afraid to make eye contact with him and see exactlywhat he was saying. He didn’t say “still in love with you,” so she figured she could brush it off.

  “I’m not only telling you this because I am no longer with her. For the most part, I’m no longer with her because I felt this way. I realized that I’m better off never getting married again if I don’t feel the love I felt the first time around, because if that didn’t work, nothing short of that will.”

  Jordan knew that he was right about that. It had crossed her mind before. She didn’t know Elisa well, but Jordan knew that she was everything Omar wanted in a wife, and Elisa wasn’t anything like her. She wondered just how much he would be willing to substitute, and when the substitute version would not be enough anymore. It was a thought, but after a
while, the longer it lasted, she just figured it would be what it was. She figured that he was just settling, making the best of a bad situation.Now here he was sitting in front of her house deciding to stop and look at the big picture.

  Jordan knew she couldn’t be too judgmental about it, becauseshe had just been through the same thing. She had spent months in denial as she tried to cope with the pain from her and Jayon’s breakup, and it wasn’t until after she stopped and looked at reality she realized how she was doing things all wrong. She understood, and she respected his honesty and willingness to be vulnerable and tell her. She knew Jayon would have never exposed his emotions like this if he was in the same situation, and she had to be impressed by Omar’s manhood to do so.

  For a few moments they just sat there silent. They said nothing to one another, and they looked out of their respectivewindows as if they were each trying to find the right thing to say next.

  “Jordan, I didn’t come over here so you and I could make some drastic change in our relationship. I just felt like this was the best time to tell you,” Omar started back.

  “Eleven o’clock in the morning on a Wednesday before work?” Jordan said with a laugh.

  “No, just now, period. I knew if I didn’t just do it while I was thinking about it so hard, I may not ever, so I just came over here. But what I meant was, now while I’m single and you’re single. So if there is a chance that me and you can fix things, we better do it now. I waited too long last time; I didn’t want to do that again.”

  “Jayo ... I mean, Omar; you have been broken up a week.”

  Jordan really tried to pretend that slipup didn’t happen. She tried to keep going, but his facial expression and looking away showed that he heard it loud and clear.

  “I’m sorry, Omar, that was a mistake. Trust me, he is like my worst enemy, so don’t be bothered by that slipup.”

  “Well, that’s right where I’d want him, as your worst enemy,” Omar said.

  When Jordan saw the smirk on his face, she laughed at his ability to make light of a touchy topic.

  “My point is, Omar, you just left Elisa. You and her may work things out. And even though I know that me and Jayon are over, I’m not ready to give my all to a relationship. Not right now. I need some me time.”

  “I’m not looking for a relationship, Jordan. Don’t misunderstandme. I’m looking for me and you to be adults and raise our child and focus on what we started.”

  “That sounds like a relationship,” Jordan said and laughed.

  “No, I don’t mean that way.”

  “Well, look, Jason is my first priority right now and forever.I want another child one day, but that may never happen. I would’ve liked to grow old with someone, but that may not happen, either. But right now, I’ve been through so much emotionally these past few years, I don’t want to commit to anything but myself and my child.”

  “That’s what I want to hear.”

  “Who knows, if you stay single, and I stay single we can try this again. I am willing to do that. I did vow till death do us part. Our little break won’t hurt nobody.”

  Omar laughed. “Little break? Yeah, right.”

  “Well, in the scheme of life, it was a little break.”

  “That sounds fair to me,” Omar said. “That’s all I want right now. I’m hoping we can rebuild our friendship and hopefullyone day pick up where we left off.”

  “We will leave it in God’s hands.”

  “Are you seeing someone?”

  Omar caught her off guard with that question. Apparently he could tell from her facial expression that she was, because he didn’t wait for her answer.

  “I guess that’s a yes.”

  “No, that’s not a yes,” she said with a slight grin. “Nobody, really.”

  “I thought you just said that you weren’t checking for nobodyright now, you needed ‘me time,’” Omar said, putting quotation fingers up.

  “He is not someone I’m checking for. He is just some guy that I’ve been hanging with, just as friends. He is more my friendly neighbor.”

  “Well, you know how that ‘friend’ stuff goes,” he said.

  Jordan realized that she couldn’t use that anymore. Friends equated to something a lot worse in Omar’s eyes. Jordan could never be trusted with a friend again.

  “You know what, Omar, I never told you this, but I rememberone time when we were going through the drama over Jayon and I asked you to be honest with me. I asked you if you thought I was messing around with him when me and you were together, and you said no. That made me not only respectyou more for your honesty, but I thanked you for saying that. You could’ve said yes just to make me feel like crap, but you were honest about it, and I never told you how much that meant to me. It was one thing that we were going through all that, and the guilt trip was nauseating, but if you would’ve thought that I was cheating on you because that is what it looked like, I would’ve been even more devastated.”

  Omar didn’t respond. He seemed like he was thinking about it.

  “You want to go grab a bite?” Jordan asked.

  “I thought you were going to work,” Omar said.

  “I was, but at this point it’s becoming more senseless. Especiallysince I was picking up Jason from school today and he has an early let out today.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah, but I do have to stop at the law office on Merrick Road to consult a client in like two hours if I’m not going in.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I told this attorney I couldn’t make it because I would be in the city all day, but if I’m not going to the city, I have to at least do that. I can’t just blow a full day’s work off.”

  “All right, so where do you want to go?”

  “I haven’t been by your restaurant in a while,” Jordan said.

  “OK, then there we will go.”

  Jordan and Omar pulled out of the parking spot across the street from her place. It seemed obvious that things were falling back in order. Jordan wasn’t expecting her and Omar to have a healthy relationship anytime soon, but the timing couldn’t have been better for them to get on one accord. Jason would be home this weekend, and the better off her and Omar were, the better off Jason would be.

  44

  It had been a long week, and Jordan was absolutely exhausted. Although exhausting, it had been one of the best weeks Jordan had emotionally in a long time. The week before she had gone to the spa to relax, she did some soul searching, she spent some healing time with her friends, she spent some nights with Marcus, and it was the first week in several that she caused no regrets for herself.

  She was sitting in her office working on some files; she was also back on top of her work. Last week she had done all the research needed for Darren’s legal matters, and she was planningon having one of her associates work with him moving forward.The files that she was working on all needed to be updatedsince they’d been neglected the past few weeks. Jordan felt stronger than ever, feeling back in her zone, handling her responsibilities and being in control of her life. The feelings that had been eating her up for weeks were no longer surfacing,and she felt capable of truly moving on, in a healthy way, without the need to seek assurance and compromise herself.

  Jason was due home in a few days, and Jordan was happy but also fearful. She didn’t know if Jason held any resentment in his heart toward her for letting him go in the first place. She was hoping if not yet, one day he would understand her reasoningand that she honestly felt he needed his father’s influence.Jordan would always feel a level of guilt for the decision she made, but she knew her heart was in the right place when she did it. And although that wasn’t enough to justify it, it was all she kept telling herself.

  Jordan reached for the can of cashews that were on top of her desk and took a handful out. She began to chew some as she flipped through the pages in her file. Her home office was pretty tidy except for some files piled in the corner and some law books that she hadn�
�t put back. There was a time where Jordan spent all of her free time in her home office, to get work done, to clear her mind, or to get a break from Omar for a while. It was a place of serenity for her; it was a reminder of all that she had accomplished and what kept her humble and grounded. Once her and Omar split, it was more of a reminder of what she’d become, and she was less interested in letting her home office be her place for peace instead of the bedroom. She realized the poison in that way of life; she just realized it too late.

  The volume on the television was turned very low in the office so that Jordan could concentrate on her work. She knew she could easily be distracted by the talk shows. Jordan put down the file that she was working for a few minutes to take a sip from her water when she heard knocking. She froze to make sure she was hearing things correctly, and then she picked up the remote and pointed it at the television to mute it. A second later, she heard her doorbell. Jordan put the documents on the desktop and stood up to head toward the front door. As she walked through the dining room, and living room, she tried to recall if she was expecting any packages. She hadn’t recalled anything by the time she reached the door.

  Jordan reached the foyer and peeked through her curtains to see who was standing in front of her door. There were two men dressed in suits standing there talking to each other. One was Caucasian with brown hair and a mustache, and the other was a black guy with a faded haircut. They both looked like they were in their mid to upper thirties, and they appeared to have very reserved demeanors. After looking at them thoroughly,Jordan decided to crack the door open.

  “Hello?” she said as she poked her head through the door.

  “Hello, I’m Detective Charles and this is my partner, DetectiveAdams,” the black man said as he flashed his badge. “We are with the FBI, and we just had a few questions for Jordan Moore.”

  In Jordan’s line of work, she dealt with her fair share of law enforcers, but she never had any of them at her front door for questioning. She opened the door all the way and stepped in front of it.

  “I am Jordan,” she said as she looked down at his badge more carefully. “Can I see your badge as well?” Jordan asked the other officer.