by Kyle Vauss
Behind us and in the distance, in the direction of the marshes, I heard a swamp ape bellow. No doubt some unlucky player had decided to take a trek through the boggy terrain. I wondered where Crawford was. I looked forward to seeing his face when he knew I had helped the Goblin escape.
I needed to start being careful, I knew. While I was levelling characters, I always used Tamos as a placeholder name. If he had any wits about him, Crawford would realise that I worked in his office. At work, of course, everyone knew me as Tom Amos.
Crawford was so self-involved that I doubted he even knew me in real life. We didn’t work in the same departments, and our paths rarely crossed.
Gabber stood up. He stretched out his legs, and I heard his joints crack. His sleeves rolled over his hands, so he pushed them up.
“You might want to rethink your wardrobe too,” I said. “I mean, what gives? That’s a shirt for an adult man. You look like a boy dressing up in his dad’s clothes.”
“I hate goblin greaves. They never suited me,” said Gabber. “Do you like the dagger?”
I nodded. “It’s not too shabby. Better than I expected from you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? There’s more where that came from, you know.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded. “How about this. Escort me north. Not far, just so that I can get where I need to be. And if you do that, I’ll give you something much more valuable.”
There seemed to be more to the story, but he didn’t trust me enough to tell me. And I didn’t care enough to ask.
This felt like the start of a quest, and I didn’t have the time for quests. If I delivered the shadow walker late, I’d get bad feedback. It would be good to have a valuable weapon I could sell, but it wasn’t worth it if I lost orders. With a few more years of day shifts in the office and nights on Infarna, I’d have enough cash to leave the country.
“I’d love to help,” I said. “But I can’t. Whatever you’re doing, I wish you the best of luck.”
I started to walk away from him. I decided that I didn’t fancy cutting through the swamp again, so I’d need to take the long way around. After that, there was no point trying to level up. I’d log off, get some sleep, and come back fresh the next evening. Well, as fresh as I ever could be after nine hours in the office.
“Yeah, well, up yours too, buddy,” said Gabber, behind me.
I turned. “Excuse me?”
He looked mad. “Here I am, on my own, offering you something awesome if you’d just take the time to help me. But you’re too good for that, aren’t you? I know your type, pale.”
“Pale? You mean pal?”
“Whatever. You think you’re a lone wolf, don’t you? Well, the dire wolves in the forest are better wolves than you’ll ever be.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was all too ludicrous. “Well yeah,” I answered. “Since they are actually wolves, then you could say they’re much more wolf-like than me. So long, Gobbler.”
“Gabber.”
“Whatever.”
Gabber took a few steps toward me. The expression on his face changed now. I could tell he was trying to force a smile. “Listen bully. I mean, buddy. I’ll be here in 24 hours’ time. In this exact spot. I’ll be waiting for you to change your mind. If you’re not here, then I’ll take my chances. But if you are…”
I said nothing and waited for him to finish. He stared at me as if he expected something. “Aren’t you going to ask me to finish the sentence?”
“Go ahead,” I said.
He smiled. “If you are here, we’ll have to run.”
“Why?”
“You’ll see. 24 hours, human. I’ll be waiting here. If you want to make some money, have a little fun and help a poor goblin, then make sure you’re here.”
With that, I walked away. I didn’t bother turning around to look at Gabber, though something inside made me want to. The little creature had roused my curiosity, but I tried to ignore it.
Chapter Ten
Another day at the office. Another grind, but not the kind that involved a sword. This was a grind of numbers and spreadsheets, coffee breaks and emails. Our office was currently undergoing a renovation, meaning half of it looked like it was from the seventies, whereas the other part seemed space-age.
I sat at my desk. The office chatter rose around me. Over in the corner, one of the salesmen had stood up with his Bluetooth headset on his head. He was talking to a customer, gesturing with his arms as if the person on the end of the line could see him.
My head began to throb, and I needed a pill. I reached to my right and opened a drawer in my desk. As soon as I did, I regretted it.
There, on top of my work stationary and paracetamol, was a picture of Baxter. Where most people had pictures of their wives and children on their desk, I used to have Sarah and my dog. After she left, I decided I couldn’t even look at their photos anymore.
I stared down at the photo of my four-legged friend. I’d taken it when I was eating pizza, and he’d sat in front of me to beg for food. As much as I didn’t like him disturbing my meal, it had just been too cute. I slammed the drawer shut with more force than I’d intended. It was best not to think about him.
As I tried to work, I couldn’t help my thoughts starting to wander. I kept replaying the incidents in Infarna from the night before. It had all been so strange. A talking goblin. It was unheard of in the game, I was sure. And his AI had been so advanced, it was as though he was real.
I knew that human NPCs were programmed to be as life-like as possible. Devs pulled data from social networks, which you allowed when you signed their terms. They also drew from books and TV shows. The goal was to create the most life-like NPCs possible. I didn’t think that extended to creatures, though.
Someone walked by my desk and nudged my chair, shaking me from my thoughts. It was Clare, a girl from the accounting team. She had a pen tucked behind her ear.
“You look like you’re away with the fairies. What are you thinking about?”
“Goblins,” I answered.
Then, too late, I realized what I’d said. I corrected myself. “Spreadsheets, I mean.”
“But you said goblins. Weirdo.”
I stood up. “Better go. Got a meeting with the boss.”
Ignoring me, she perched on my desk. “Are you going for the exec job? Everyone’s wondering if you’re applying.”
I shook my head. “That kind of thing’s not for me.”
“You’re too good for this place, Thomas. I’ve always said that.” Then she nodded down at the photographs in my drawer. “And you’re too good for her. Move on.”
She stood up and started to walk away.
“Claire?” I said.
She turned and looked at me. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
Over in the corner there wasn’t one salesman stood up, but three. They yammered into their phones, hardly stopping for breath.
Claire was right. Maybe not about the job, but about the photographs. I reached into my desk, took out two photographs with Sarah in them, and threw them in the bin. I didn’t touch Baxter’s. My buddy had done nothing wrong.
Then I thought about Gabber’s offer. He’d promised me a weapon more valuable than the dagger. Whatever it was, it had to be worth a decent chunk of change. Maybe it would be worth my while to help him.
No, I thought. Best not to get wrapped up in anything. I just had to keep logging in, grinding out, and staying away from people. And goblins.
My head was pounding now, and I needed a drink to wash down the tablets. As I left my office are and walked into the hall toward the canteen, I stopped. Crawford was in the corridor, towering over a work experience kid. The boy, no older than sixteen, was here for the summer. He was supposed to be learning about working in an office in a friendly environment. Instead, it looked like Crawford was berating him.
“And when I ask you to make my coffee strong, I mean strong,” he said, in his most
patronizing voice. “Or don’t you know how to make a cup? Sheesh, it’s not hard. Just pour a little water over some coffee granules and then stir it. Or can’t you do that?”
The boy looked terrified. Everyone knew that as the boss’s son, Crawford had authority in the office that he didn’t deserve. In any other environment, I doubted that the boy would take this kind of crap from Crawford. But here, he was terrified of losing his placement.
I strode toward them, making sure Crawford heard me coming. When he saw me, he stopped yelling at the boy.
“Everything okay here?” I said.
Crawford stared at me. I knew he was trying to put a name to my face. It wouldn’t work, since he’d never bothered to actually ask my name. Father issues or not, he was a nasty person. The problem was that most people didn’t dare stand up to him.
“Having another coffee break?” said Crawford.
“This is my first one today,” I said, not letting my stare move away from him for even a second. “Check the employee handbook. Anyone working with computers gets a five-minute break every hour. Stay the hell out of my business.”
Crawford crossed his arms and started to speak, but I cut him off. I looked at the work experience boy.
“I heard Nigel saying he needs a hand with the filing on floor 2. You better get down there and help him,” I said.
Thankful for my intervention, the boy walked away. He didn't stop to look back until he reached the double doors that led to the staircase.
When I looked at Crawford, I found it hard to reign in my anger. He was such a pathetic, loathsome man. He got his kicks exerting fake-authority over terrified teens. Someone had to teach him a lesson.
I might not have been able to do much about it in the office, but I knew where I could. In Infarna, he not only didn’t know my name, but he also had zero authority. In the fantasy VR world, I’d be able to do something about him.
Crawford needed to kill Gabber to help get the achievement he wanted so badly. As much as I didn’t want to get involved, I decided that there wasn’t a way in hell I’d let him get the achievement.
If helping Gabber was what it took to wipe the grin from Crawford’s face, then that’s what I would do.
Chapter Eleven
When I logged in and found myself back on the plains, I walked over to the spot where I judged we had been the night before. The grass made musical sounds as I crossed it, emitting the dull thud of a bass string. I decided it would be better to be cautious, so I walked slower. The sounds changed, becoming softer.
Gabber had said to meet him here in 24 hours, but I was a few hours early. I decided that rather than just waste my time in my apartment watching TV, I’d use it better.
Helping Gabber was going to take me away from levelling up my shadow walker, so I’d booked a week of paid leave from work. I usually saved up my vacation days and then traded them in. Our office had a policy where they’d buy back unused days from you.
That was how much I wanted to spoil Crawford’s achievement; I was willing to lose money for it. Still, if Gabber was true to his word, the weapon he gave me in exchange would make up for the loss.
The plains looked different in the evening. The sunlight was blocked by dark purple clouds up above, a sure sign that we were in danger of an acid shower. The devs of Infarna loved to play God and mess around with the weather. I still remembered the day when they’d programmed hailstones the size of footballs to crash from the sky. HP meters plummeted when the balls of ice hit unsuspecting players.
There wasn’t much around. Checking my map, I saw that there was an NPC village a little way east, but it didn’t have any merchants or quests. That meant that players wouldn’t even bother to go there.
The Infarna map was full of places like this. These were placeholders. Little pockets of real estate where, at some point in the future, a quest would be set. This was how they kept the game feeling fresh. Every so often they’d remove a quest from one area, then add a new one somewhere else. I knew that plenty of players were still annoyed that the King’s Saucy Maiden quest had been removed years ago. It had yet to make a reappearance.
With a few hours to spare, I decided to make use of them. The plains had been empty the night before, when it was dark. The sun had yet to fully set tonight, and it seemed that some NPC creatures were still out. Not far from me, I saw a few foxclaws. Four gnomes hid in the grass to my right.
I got to my feet. Holding my sword, I focused my mind and escaped to my grinding place. It was a mental state I liked to get in when I levelled up. A place where I didn’t think about anything. I went through the motions, slashing here, slicing there, letting all my bad memories fade away.
As I walked toward the gnomes, they noticed me. Chortling, they scurried away through the grass. Their backs were hunched over, and their bulbous snouts poked out. There was something mouse-like about them. It was as though a romance had blossomed between a troll and a mouse, and the gnome was the offspring.
The gnomes wouldn’t give me much exp, I knew, but their chance of dropping decent loot was good. I started running after them, but the purple cloud covering the sun made it tough to pick them out amongst the grass stalks.
I stopped. I cast my Glowing Lights cantrip, sending four orbs out in front of me. The pale glow illuminated the grass, and it reflected in the black eyes of the gnomes. I saw them now.
I charged ahead, sword drawn. As I closed in on them, I felt a pain in my foot. The gnomes chuckled. I tried to move, but I realized that I couldn’t.
Checking my character screen, I saw that I had a debuff. The gnomes had set some kind of pressure trap in the grass, and the effect had paralyzed me. I was stuck, then. I could do nothing but wait for it to wear off.
As I struggled, the gnomes popped up from their hiding places. Where I thought I had been chasing a few of them, a dozen sprouted out from the grass and charged at me. They held miniature weapons above their heads. One wielded a tiny mace, and the others sported swords, axes and halberds.
I couldn’t do anything. There was no point using Minor Illusion to make a copy of myself, since I wouldn’t be able to use the diversion to get away. Instead, I cast Blade Turn. This gave me resistance against piercing, stabbing and bludgeoning.
The gnomes reached me now. They grunted and cheered to each other as they hacked at my legs. I didn’t feel any pain, and my health bar barely registered the effect. I was happy with my choice of cantrips, but less so about the gnomes who laughed as they stabbed me.
“Just wait you little gits,” I said. “I’ll have you stuffed and placed in my lawn. Or I would, if I had a lawn.”
Finally, the effect began to wear off. I pretended I couldn’t move for a few seconds, and I waited for the rest of the gnomes to run at me. When all twelve were hacking at my legs, I readied my sword.
And then I felt the pain. Blade Turn must have worn off, or it had reached its damage resistance limit. My health started to drop. I sucked in a breath and ignored the stinging, thankful that I wasn’t in an immersion capsule.
As one of the gnomes swung his mace, I lashed out with my sword. The gnomes were so small, and my blade was so long, that one arc cut through all of them. Nine died instantly, rewarding me with the tingling sound of exp.
The three remaining gnomes cried out in pain. They turned around and started to run away.
“Oh, no you don’t,” I said.
I chased after them. This time I picked up my pace. It drained my stamina quicker, but I didn’t care. This had become a grudge match. My long legs carried me across the grass at a rate the gnomes couldn’t match, and soon, I was close enough to strike.
Sensing they had no option, the gnomes turned and attacked. I held my sword, tensed my arm, and I struck them, cleaving the blade across their bellies. The gnomes screamed in agony, and they dropped to the floor and died.
I stopped and caught my breath. My stamina bar had dropped below half way, and I needed to take a break. As I did, a message app
eared in front of me.
[Level up to level 3!]
- HP increased
- Mana increased
- Stamina increased
- 1.2 x resistance vs gnome stun traps
Chapter Twelve
The plains disappeared, and I found myself back in the white-walled room. Bolzar was there, sat behind the desk. He was hunched forward reading a book, and he seemed to be studying it intently. I looked at the book cover. ‘Ye Olde Book of Saucy Tales,’ was the title.
When Bolzar saw me, he slammed the book shut. His face reddened. “Just some light reading,” he said, putting the book on the floor, out of sight. “No need to mention this to anyone.”
