by London Casey
I then pulled at her finger with my teeth. Guiding her down, down, down, until she crested her own slit. I released my hold and nudged with my nose, placing her finger against her own clit.
“Now,” I whispered.
“Oh…”
Her voice shook a little.
I took my fingers from her and slowly stood up. Her finger started to move against herself. Feeling herself. Driving my head and heart absolutely fucking insane. I approached the bed and leaned down. I made fists and put them to the bed.
“All yours,” I whispered.
With her other hand, Lily pushed my boxers down and grabbed my cock.
I lowered down again and Lily guided me against her sweet body.
She slid her hand away from herself, lifting her hand, bringing it to my face. She touched my cheek, letting me feel her own sweet honey as it clung to my cheek. I then thrust forward and entered her.
For a few seconds, we were just there. Just together. My cock pulsing deep inside her. I felt twenty years of passion, tragedy, annoyance, and anger suddenly explode between us. And it was fucking beautiful.
I pushed my fists hard into the bed, locked my arms tight, and started to fuck her.
And I didn’t move.
I kept at her, thrusting, loving, watching her wiggle and react to me.
Her hands grabbed my arms, sliding up and down, crying my name. Her hands slid to my chest, clawing and scratching. When she started to climax, she held my shoulders and pulled herself up, kissing my neck, biting, groaning, making it almost impossible to not lose myself right then.
When she fell back to the bed, I slowed a little. I gave her a second to catch her breath. Only a second, though…
I started to fuck her again. Harder. Faster. Grunting with each pump of my cock. Her hands touched her stomach, her breasts, even her own hair. She held her hands against the headboard, trying to thrust back at me and keep up. But it was no use. I wanted her to just take it. To love it. To know that I fucking loved her.
The only time I moved down at her was when I finished.
I kissed her as her hands went around my body. Her ankles locked around me too.
She broke the kiss with a groan, then put her sweet lips to my ear.
“Aiden… take me…!”
“I just did, sweetheart.”
“No. Again. Take me.”
I growled. That would not be a problem at all.
I started to slowly fuck, but she stopped me.
“Not here, Aiden. Take me in the shower…”
I stood from the bed, Lily’s body tight against mine.
I did as she told me to do.
She acted like my slave in the bedroom, but I was her slave in life, love, and heart.
And that was fucking fine with me.
I stepped into the shower and grinned.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
I turned, putting her back toward the shower. Then I turned it on.
The scream she let out from the blast of cold water made my ear twitch. But having her suddenly so cold and surprised made her squeeze against me like I never felt before.
The water soon turned hot, and I made up for my cruel joke by pinning Lily against the tiled wall.
I kissed her as the shower water hit us.
And I started to fuck her.
I enjoyed it too… because I’d soon have to break her heart again.
Chapter 33
(My Brother’s Wife)
PRESENT DAY
(LILY)
I ran a brush through my hair, fighting the knots. Aiden stood in the doorway with sleep in his eyes and no shirt on. I just couldn’t get enough of it. Of him. If I could just block out all the bad stuff…
“Coffee’s ready,” he said.
“Right,” I said.
What started in the shower ended up going well into the night until we fell asleep. My hair was soaked when I fell asleep and now it was a mess.
I fought with the brush for another few seconds and then gave up.
Easy solution? Take another shower. Not to mention, I’d have company with me.
That is, if me and Aiden could survive the next conversation.
My heart was already racing as Aiden gave me coffee. He kissed the top of my head. I let out a long sigh.
He then sat across from me.
He cupped the mug with his entire hand. He stared.
“What?”
“I’m just taking this all in,” he said. “In case you decide to give me that chip back.”
I shook my head. “Try me.”
“You want the story. Fine. The night Gabe died…”
“Oh, Aiden…”
“No. He was freaking out. Alice had no money and had no drugs. He was trashing the bathroom. He punched the mirror and tried to kill himself. Right in front of me. I had some cash in my pocket-”
“I know,” I whispered. “I knew about the envelope. What were you saving for?”
Aiden laughed. “Snooping on me?”
“I cared.”
“I was going to use that money to buy you an engagement ring.”
My eyes went wide. “What?”
“Yeah. All those extra hours I put in. I kept the cash and was going to buy you a ring.”
“Jesus, Aiden.”
“Let it go,” he said. “I used the cash to buy Gabe some drugs. And the more I thought about you, about those texts, about everything… I let myself slip. I thought if I could sever it, then I should just do it. You’d be happier. But dealing with a junkie like Gabe is tricky. Yet the son of a bitch told me the best thing I ever heard.”
“Which was?”
“He knew I loved you. High as a kite, he fucking knew it and told me. That’s when I started to panic. I didn't want to be high. For the first time ever, the second I got high, I didn’t want it. I never had that feeling before. Now I know, sitting across from you saying that, saying you were the reason that I didn’t need to get high, it makes me sound like a piece of shit. And that’s what I am. I turned my back on Gabe, and he loaded up and went for a second round. The second he shot it, he was gone. I watched his eyes just go. Then he fell. And then all hell broke loose.”
Aiden hung his head.
The silence was horrible.
He sucked in a breath. He swallowed hard.
“And now the fucked-up part. Alice. She was lost without him. I would stop over, and there would be four people there, strung out, needles in their fucking arms. I caught a guy on her once. She was long gone, but he was all over her. I grabbed the fucker by the neck and threw him against the wall and knocked him out cold. Alice got to her feet and walked to me, threw her arms around me, and tried to kiss me. That’s when I took over. I moved into the house and straightened things up. It was hard to do that. But Alice started to open up to me. About why she was the way she was with him. Because of her parents. Her brothers and sisters. All she knew was how to care and take what she could. Because she had nothing. To her, giving Gabe a little bit here and there was fine if he was there with her and for her. Which he was. I mean, it’s all fucked up when you look at it, but when you think about it, it all made sense in a sick way.”
I sipped my coffee.
I had nothing to say. Nothing to ask. Nothing to add.
Aiden continued.
“It took a good six months for everything to finally settle. And when it did, something happened. She was broken, but healing. I was broken and trying to heal. I don’t know what to say, Lily. It just happened. We both had no interest in other people. We had common ground because of what we both had seen and gone through. It just suddenly felt right. Fair enough, there was booze involved. So, yeah, to put it simply, I got drunk, and I slept with my brother’s wife. But it was more than that. We were both angry. Hurt. Confused. I should have done more to prevent it. But let’s face it, I was lonely myself. I wanted to keep away from you to stop hurting you. And there was a short period where it all felt okay. Alice an
d I in the same house. You know, almost like we were covering up the tracks of what had been. Then I found out she was sleeping with other guys. Her addiction had become physical. She told me later that it was the only way she could stop the pain. I felt bad for her, but at the same time, knowing she was fucking other guys was like a smack to the face. I realized what I was doing. That’s when I ended it with Alice and left.”
“You left?”
Aiden nodded. “I had to. I had to get my shit together. So, I started drawing. Painting. Hell, even sculpting. I got this little studio flat…”
Aiden smirked.
“The one you took me to?”
“That’s the one.”
“You don’t sleep at Alice’s?”
“Sometimes I’ll crash on the couch,” he said. “If there’s something wrong with Felix. We try to keep it as normal as we can. He hasn’t asked any questions yet.”
“But he will,” I said.
Aiden nodded. “Yeah, he will.”
“And what are you going to tell him?”
“I don’t know,” Aiden said. “After I moved out and things settled again, Alice called me. Crying her eyes out. Said she needed me. So, I went to the house. She had a dozen pregnancy tests on the table. A dozen. All twelve were positive. Those things aren’t cheap, either. So, after the panic of pregnancy wore off she freaked out over money. I gave her the money for the pregnancy tests and I took her to the doctor. She was pregnant.”
“Sleeping with multiple guys.”
“Well, she swears that it was me and one other guy. It’s not my business to judge or worry about that.”
“You were there for her the entire time?”
“Yeah,” Aiden said. “I’ll be honest. It was guilt. The unbearable guilt. That I slept with Gabe’s wife. And now she was pregnant. And then there was a sliver of me that was excited. A baby. My baby. We found out we were having a boy. That set me off. I was thrilled. I refused to think for a second that the baby wasn’t mine. Even if he wasn’t, he was. You know?”
I nodded. “That’s quite the commitment to make, Aiden.”
“It fucked with me, Lily. It still fucks with me. And then… Alice went into labor at twenty-five weeks. She called me. Said she was bleeding. Got her to the hospital, the doctors checked her, and it was just…” Aiden put his fingers together and then spread them. “Boom.”
“Boom?”
“It was all so fast. Rushing her through the hospital. The doctors calling out orders. She was in labor. She gave birth and they took Felix away right away. Then we had to endure all the conversations. Everything wrong. Everything that could go wrong. How much time he’d spend in the hospital. It was crazy. Alice should have been mothering him, but instead she was touching him through a fucking box, basically. She started to lose herself and stopped going to the hospital. I picked up the slack and eventually Felix came home. And I’m pretty sure you know the rest here.”
“He’s a great kid,” I said. “And he’s going to talk. I know he’s going to talk.”
Aiden smiled. “That’s the whole story, Lily. What happened may have been wrong. I can’t change it. Felix is here. I’m going to take care of him.”
“And you’re doing an amazing job,” I said.
“Right.”
Aiden stood and walked to the kitchen.
I sensed something was still off. Something eating at him.
“Aiden,” I said. “What else is wrong?”
He stood at the sink. “Sometimes I wonder if I should know the truth. Just to know.”
“What do you mean?”
“If Felix is actually mine. I mean, it sounds crazy, but what if I’m not the father and his father went through something similar? What if Felix’s speech issues are hereditary? That could change everything.”
“Do you want to know?”
Aiden looked at me. “Yes and no. Yes, because I don’t want any doubts or pieces of this lingering. No, because if he’s not mine I couldn’t imagine sharing Felix with someone else.”
“You’re not going to have to share a thing,” I said. “He loves you. No matter what. You’re his hero.”
“And you’re my hero, Lily. For all you’ve done. Gone through. I can’t believe I’m standing here right now.”
I stood up. I left my coffee on the table and walked to Aiden. “I want you here. I want you to be here for forever.”
“I have no intentions of going anywhere,” he said.
“We always say that. But something always happens.”
Aiden nodded. He grabbed for me and pulled me close. “But here’s the thing… we’ve been through it all, Lily. We were young. We were stupid. We explored each other. We hurt each other. But we always loved each other. There was nothing close to you. And nothing could ever come close to you.”
I kissed his chest. I groaned. “I get it, Aiden. I get it all.”
“And, hey, Lily. I think you should explore your dream now. The bakery.”
“Actually… I was offered a management position at the diner. I was thinking about doing that.”
“Really?”
“I figure I could get the experience. Maybe get to know Mary personally. Ask for her advice. You know? Actually have a plan in place.”
Aiden smiled. He stroked my cheek. “You’re even more beautiful when you talk like that.”
We kissed.
Then Aiden looked at the clock. “Ah, damn. I better give Felix a call. He gets nervous when I don’t check in in the morning.”
“Go. Take care of your boy.”
“It’s not like he can talk back to me. He just wants to hear my voice. Then Alice tells me that he’s smiling and waving and blowing a kiss.”
“That’s sweet, Aiden.”
“If he is mine… you know how much I love him. But I trust you with what I’m going to say next. If he is mine, I’m going to feel really guilty.”
“Why?”
“Because you were supposed to be the one to give me my first child. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that.”
“Aiden… you can’t think that…”
“It’s okay. I’m just being honest with you.”
Aiden grabbed his phone and walked to the living room to call Alice to talk to Felix.
I stood there and watched him. To me he had always been a man. But seeing him now just proved how much of a man he was.
While he was on the phone, I caught myself looking down at my left hand.
That cash in the drawer was never really intended for drugs. He was working his ass off to buy me an engagement ring. Yet I had just assumed the worst.
I wouldn’t do that anymore.
I wiggled my fingers.
How badly I wanted to wear a ring from Aiden. How badly I wanted to be his wife. How badly I wanted to profess my forever love for him to the world.
I looked at Aiden. He stood sideways, grinning, talking to Alice about Felix and his progression with signing and trying to talk.
I wanted to be greedy. For once in my life.
I wanted the ring. I wanted the man. I wanted everything.
Aiden looked at me and winked.
I smiled.
It felt so good… yet I knew our history. Every five years, things would light up and then explode. I wanted it to be different this time.
But I knew that wouldn’t happen.
Chapter 34
(Let Me Spit)
PRESENT DAY
(AIDEN)
I balanced the new piece of artwork on the counter and studied it hard. It sold in record time and for a nice profit. My thing had suddenly become flowers. But not just any flowers: grunge-looking flowers. The idea that I could create the horrific textures and backdrops yet have an innocent and beautiful flower in the mix of it. People were connecting to it and eating it the hell up.
“I wish you’d keep that,” Lily said.
“Too late,” I said. “Someone already bought it.”
Lily kissed my
cheek. “Maybe I can buy one.”
I looked at her. “You don’t need these. You have me. What I do with my hands, my mouth, my body, that’s my gift to you, sweetheart.”
Lily blushed. I liked that I could still get to her like that. I liked even better that we were on night four of her sleeping over. Her clothes were everywhere. Her womanly supplies in my bathroom. She was taking up real estate in my apartment and my heart and my mind… and I dug it.
The buzzer for my place echoed.
I walked to the door. “Yeah?”
“It’s me,” a voice said.
“Come on up.”
I opened the door and walked away.
“Want me to leave?” Lily asked. “I don’t want to be in the way.”
“No. You stay. This is your place now.”
“Oh, is it?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know about that, Aiden. I mean, if it was my place I could totally add some girly stuff to it.”
I folded my arms. “Oh?”
“You know, my touch.”
“Tell you what, how about you skip the girly shit… because I know you and girly shit don’t mix. But you should be here. All the time. Forever. That way whatever you were paying in rent you can use toward your bakery.”
“Are you serious?” Lily asked.
“Sweetheart, I’ve wanted to live with you for twenty years now. I would never joke about that.”
She opened her mouth but paused.
I knew what she was thinking. She’d been thinking it since I told her about the cash in the drawer. She wanted to know what I was planning now. I was going to propose to her five years ago. What about now? That was fair. Maybe I was being a dick for holding out on telling her. But it was worth it.
The painting I’d just sold? The one the on the counter? The one Lily said I should keep?
That painting was going to pay for her engagement ring.
Voices burst through my open door.
It was Prick and the guy who owned the St. Skin tattoo shop, Tate.
I didn’t know Tate was coming.
“Hey,” I said.
