by Frances, Jo
Jamie could barely stand to hear herself being described this way. "I didn't freak out. I could care less."
Her brother said nothing.
"So what did you tell him?" she asked.
"I told him that you went over there because you wanted to talk to him."
"And?"
"He asked me if I would tell him why, and I said no, that you had to. Besides, I'm not even sure that we're still going to buy the house anyway." Luke sounded mad.
"No, actually the best thing that could have happened was seeing him that way. Now I know I can handle it."
Her brother made a pfft sound. "This is handling it? He said you freaked out---"
"I didn't freak out!"
"Ok, ok! But now you're in in New York."
This was too much for her already frayed nerves. "Luke, just stay out of it, OK? I just left, and I'm supposed to be in New York anyway. You can go ahead and tell him about the house."
"No, I'm not going to do that," Luke said quietly. "You guys need to talk about it, and I'm not going to commit to this house until the two of you get it worked out."
There was something in her brother's voice that told Jamie he meant it. They ended their conversation, her good mood disappearing with it. Back in her apartment, she picked up the phone to call Chase, but didn't want to get drawn into a telephone conversation. She decided to text instead: When can you talk F2F?
Fifteen minutes later she still hadn't gotten a response, so after putting everything away, she curled up on the couch with a book and fell asleep before she knew it.
She woke up at dusk to her phone ringing Five p.m. She had been asleep for hours.
"Hello?" she answered groggily.
"You wanted to talk?" the deep voice on the other end was unmistakably Chase's.
Jamie sat up, feeling groggy. "Yeah, but I think we should talk in person."
"Okay. How about now?" Chase sounded stressed.
"I'm in New York."
"I know."
"So how can we talk?"
"Give me your address."
Jamie buzzed him in half an hour later. From the expression on his face, he was not in the mood for small talk. His chin was set in a determined clamp and his eyes looked haunted. Chase stretched out his legs under the coffee table and leaned his head back against the sofa, looking as if all he wanted to do was close his eyes and sleep.
"Did you just fly in?" she asked.
"Yes."
"But---I don't understand, why are you here?"
Chase sighed. "You drove out to see me yesterday, obviously to discuss something important. You get there, some girl shows up, you get pissed and run away---"
"You know what, you need to stop saying that. I wasn't pissed."
He turned his head to look at her. "Bullshit."
Jamie decided to call him on his bluff. "OK, why would I be?"
"You're jealous."
"Wrong. I have no reason to be."
"You're right. Because you're the one who hooked up with someone else three god damn days after we broke up." His voice was controlled, but Jamie knew that under the surface, there was a lot of anger in what he just said. "And now you're pissed off because almost two months later, I'm not sitting home alone."
"Well, that was the problem wasn't it, Chase? That even when we were together you weren't sitting home alone."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" He turned towards her, eyes cold.
"Don't you dare talk to me like that!"
"And don't you dare accuse me of something I didn't do."
"I read them, Chase! I read a text from someone saying she was with you the night before!" Jamie's eyes filled with tears, the hurt and betrayal finally coming to the surface. "I'm sorry---the night before we broke up, I checked your phone--"
"My phone? It has a code."
"Yes, and the code was your street address. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."
"OK, so you decided to snoop through and read something some---
"It was your private number! The one no one is supposed to have!" Months later, she realized the wound was still raw.
"And you didn't think it was a joke that my teammates were playing? Or maybe this chick got my number somehow. What do you think she's going to say to get my attention? 'Great job at the game last night, I really enjoyed how you played on defense?' " Chase shook his head, disgusted. "I get one or two of those messages every week. I ignore them, but sometimes I have to have their number blocked. So who am I cheating on today?"
"I don’t know, Brittany?"
"Who?" It took him a moment to remember. Then he laughed dismissively. "Yeah. Right." Chase stood up, defeated. "OK, well, I just need to know what you wanted to tell me. I'm not here to be insulted." He paused, waiting for her to talk.
"You flew all the way to New York to find out what I wanted to tell you?"
"Well, when I called your brother yesterday, he said you left for New York early, and that this was something that only you could tell me. I figured it must have been important."
Chase took a few steps towards the door, then looked at her and took a deep breath. "Are you pregnant?"
Jamie's hand flew to her mouth as she suppressed a gasp. "That's what you think I wanted to tell you?" Immediately she felt horrible for what she must have put him through the past 24 hours. "Oh my god! No!" she walked towards him. "No, I'm not." she repeated. "Chase, I am so sorry---" she stopped. Chase was blinking back tears.
"I thought I'd be relieved and I am, I guess" he said at her unspoken question. "But I guess I must have been hoping you might be, because now I feel like...I just lost something." He shook his head, and composed himself. "Anyway, well, that's good."
Jamie put her arms around him, overwhelmed with the love she felt for him. "You flew all the way out here because you thought I was going to do something about the pregnancy?"
"No! Of course not. But---well, I didn't know and I just wanted to be here no matter what. Even if you were pissed off at me."
She pulled him down on the sofa next to her, took his face in her hands and kissed him. All the hurt dissolved as she felt his stubbly cheeks in her hands, felt the way his oversized body felt next to hers.
After a surprised pause, Chase began to kiss her back, his arms locking around her waist and lifting her closer to him.
"I love you," she told him. "I love you and I've missed you so much."
"I love you too," Chase said between kisses. "Don't ever leave me like that again, baby." They grasped each other tightly, as if holding on for dear life.
"Wait," he said, pulling away. "What did you want to tell me?"
Jamie stood up and faced him. "Let me show you something first." With a small smile, she began to undo the buttons on her blouse. Chase groaned in anticipation.
"Well," she said as the last button revealed her to him. "You and I are going to be neighbors." She undid the button, slid the zipper down, and shimmied out of her jeans. Chase nodded in appreciation, struggling to focus on what she just said.
"You're moving---" he snapped his fingers as something clicked. "You're moving to that Spanish style house, right? I saw the for sale sign the other day."
"Very good, " she said as if speaking to a little boy. Clothed only in her underwear now, she straddled him on the couch. He ran his hands all over her body greedily, eyes never leaving hers. Chase cupped his hands under her bottom and brought her down on his bulge. He began, rubbing her against him, slipping a hand underneath her panties and feeling her wetness.
A grunt of desire escaped him, and Chase threw Jamie down on the couch. He jumped up and tore at his clothes, taking all of them off in a matter of seconds. Jamie saw his large, hard cock just before he had thrust it impatiently inside her, her slick walls welcoming him.
Both of them let out a simultaneous moan of pleasure at being joined again. Jamie felt the pleasurable ache of having him fill her, his sex so deep between her legs she felt pinned against him. He hel
d himself still for a few moments, allowing her to get used to him with feeling pain before he began thrusting inside her, his movements rough and savage, as if he wanted to claim her again for his own.
Later she would tell him that he was still the only one who had ever entered her, the only one who had covered her body with his and took his satisfaction. But for now, she gave her body to him, biting back her pain as he thrust relentlessly into her, until she felt herself clamping down around him, her body shuddering as the tide of orgasm came over her. She arched her back felt the hot liquid of his release flow into her.
When their breathing came back to normal, Chase lifted himself off her and stood up. He looked over at her bed, mere steps away. "We didn't even make it to the bed," he said in wonderment before extending a hand to Jamie. "Come on, let's get over there now before I lose control again."
They settled under the covers, arms and legs entwined, in a happy haze. Chase lay on his back, an arm across his forehead, the other one drawing Jamie close.
"So, what was with that rocker guy, anyway..." he began.
"Urgh!" Jamie tried to pull away.
"No, really..."
"Nothing happened!"
"Come on..." Chase said doubtfully. "You don't have to deny it."
"Really," she said firmly. "But it was intense. HE was intense." She lay on her stomach and put her chin on his forearm. "Did you know he had a picture of me from draft night? From the newspaper, remember, that those people talking to your mom showed us? Before he even met me, he wanted to cast me in his video because of how I looked at you in that picture."
Chase stroked her cheek. "We slept together for the first time the night before."
She kissed his arm. "I know."
"Why didn't you sleep with him? How could you not? I mean, he probably expected it after the first ten minutes."
"I said I wasn't ready. I mean, we fooled around, but that was about it."
"But why?"
They sat in silence while Jamie decided whether or not to tell him how completely she belonged to him. Finally, she did. "Because I had some stupid thought that you were going to be the only man who made love to me." she said simply.
Chase said nothing, too moved to speak.
Jamie walked to the kitchen and placed her farmers market purchases on a tray: a bottle of the freshly squeezed orange juice and two small glasses and blueberries in a bowl, then brought it over to the bed next to them. Chase poured them both a glass and popped a blueberry in his mouth. "The orange juice is really good, but is this all you have to eat? For dinner?"
Good naturedly ignoring his complaint, she said, "Now I get to ask you a question. Promise me you'll tell me the truth."
"Yes, I was with other women when we were broken up," he answered her quickly, wanting to move off such an unpleasant topic.
"Well, actually, that wasn't my question, but uh, thanks, I guess." She paused. "Was I wrong when I broke up with you? Did you ever cheat on me when we were together?"
"No."
"Promise?" Jamie asked.
"Don't sell yourself so short." Chase turned to face her. "There's groupies everywhere, yeah. But they're really kinda scary...at least to me. Like, they'll stalk you, or get pregnant, or say you raped them. We're taught to always use a condom, AND take it with you. Now that's scary" He shook his head. "Most of them look like strippers in some dive bar off the highway, except all made up and with hair extensions."
"So you're saying you would have cheated on me, except you couldn't find anyone pretty enough?" She sat up, wrapping a sheet around her.
"I'm saying there were probably some attractive women out there; we're not surrounded only by hood rats, but I wasn't into it. I mean, the longest I was away from you was, what, a week? If I couldn't stay faithful to my hot girlfriend for a week, then I didn't deserve you." He pulled her back down into bed with him and fell into silence, lost in thought. Then: "I totally felt--feel, that I don't deserve you. I think that was why when you accused me of cheating on you, I didn't really fight for our relationship."
"You let me think you cheated on me? Because you didn't want to fight for our relationship?" she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"Some blogger posted a picture of the two of us. And you know what he called it?" From the look on his face, Jamie knew the hurt was still there. "Beauty and the Beast."
Jamie felt guilty. She had read similar things about them, too.
"I think that's why the paparazzi were all over you and Sean Foley. Because the two of you looked so good together, like some kind of walking ad for Beautiful People." His voice caught. "And I was the Beast."
"But you like being called the Beast," she teased him.
"On the basketball court! But when they put side by side pictures of your girlfriend and a cartoon of a big hairy guy who is under a witch's curse...then no, 'Beast' is not good." His eyes moved away from hers, and stared out at the window. "It was probably easier to accept that you left me because you thought I was cheating than for you to leave me because you finally realized I was The Beast."
She rubbed her cheek against his and he murmured at the gesture. "Bucky, you're like those TV shows I used to watch when I was a kid. There's always some super smart girl who's geeky and ugly, except she really isn't ugly, she only thinks she is because she wears glasses and everyone only tells her how smart she is."
"You're crazy."
"No, really! You're just like that girl. Everyone tells you what a great basketball player you are, how big, how tall---a beast. But you're masculine as hell and that's sexy, Chase." Jamie saw a tiny smile creep up on the corner of his mouth. "I'll be the football captain," she continued. "the one who secretly likes the smart girl because she's real, you know, and they get locked in the school together, and it's raining and she loses her glasses so finally he sees that she's really hot without the glasses and with her hair fluffed up."
Chase shifted away from her and play acted at being worried. "You need to go back to college."
Jamie kicked him---it caught him off balance, and he nearly fell off the bed. She let out a playful scream as he regained his balance and pinned her against the bed.
"Is this fun?" he asked as he tickled her.
"Yes!" she shrieked. Then, as he bent down to kiss her: "Yes, it really is."
A warm ocean breeze was blowing through the backyard of Luke and Jamie's new house, fluttering the paper lanterns hung for their party that night. Luke was in his outdoor kitchen, cooking steaks and ribs on the grill as if he were on an episode of Iron Chef, dramatic and rushed. Grilled corn on the cob, rolls, potato skins and nachos were already set up next to him.
Besides the usual group from North Carolina: Zim and Olman, there were new friends Jamie had met through modeling, people from Luke's job and a handful of basketball players that Chase had invited. Jamie was in the kitchen mixing a salad when the guest of honor arrived. Chris Gantt had just recently flown to LA from Paris, and Jamie wanted to make him feel welcome by inviting him. They had kept in touch after the Isle video, and become good friends. This was also the first party she and Luke had in their new home.
Chris walked in wearing a suit jacket over his tee shirt. "Hi there," he said, kissing her on both cheeks. "What a great house!"
Jamie flushed with pride. 'Thanks. It's nice to have a home to come back to when I travel." She poured both of them something to drink. "I can't offer you a vintage glass of wine, so perhaps some lemonade from local lemons?" They toasted as he handed her a wrapped disk. Jamie gasped excitedly. "Is this---" she began.
"It is." Chris smiled at her reaction. "I think you should play it for everyone."
"Play what for everyone?" Before she could answer, Chase ducked in through the sliding glass doors, beach casual in shorts. He extended a hand to Chris. "Hi, I'm Chase. You must be Chris Gantt. I've heard a lot about you."
"All good things, I hope," was the reply. "I just gave Jamie a copy of the video we shot together. She looks absol
utely stunning in it."
A momentary shadow crossed Chase's expression, so quick only Jamie caught it. The video of her with another man. To his credit, Chase's smile didn't waver. "Let's play it during dinner," he said. "My buddies and I made a trick shot video, and we can show this first."
Chris looked confused. "Trick shot video?"
Chase's face lit up. "Oh man, you've never seen one of these before? We've filmed ourselves making these impossible basketball shots." He pointed to a basketball hoop in the backyard. "I made a basket into that from Jamie's bedroom window upstairs...shooting backwards."
Chris laughed, charmed as everyone usually was by Chase's boyish enthusiasm. "Well, then, the basketball player will teach the director something about film."
Jamie handed Chase the salad bowl, and took Chris' arm. "Let's bring this outside, and you can meet my brother, Luke."
A crowd was forming around Luke as the steaks came out of the grill. There were a few good-natured jokes about the basketball players taking all the food. Defending his fellow athletes, Chase held the salad bowl up. "Hey, ladies, you shouldn't be eating steaks anyway. Here's your dinner right here!" This was greeted by boos from the women.
After a few more insults were exchanged, and everyone had their fill, Luke tapped a spoon on his beer bottle to get everyone's attention. "I just want to say thanks to everyone for being here. I hope we have many more afternoons like this. Cheers!" Glasses and bottles were raised.
Chase standing with his arm around Jamie, gave her a kiss. "Hey everybody, let's take this inside for a minute. Jamie and I have some videos we want to show you." Predictably, there were a catcalls and few suggestive comments in response, but once everyone had crowded around Luke's other pride and joy, the large state of the art TV that took up an entire wall, Jamie nudged Chris to the front.
"This is Chris Gantt, everybody."
Chris, still wearing his jacket, looked every bit the director as he began describing the video, talking with his hands. "Well, what we're about to see is a video I shot with Jamie several months ago in Ireland. The song is called "What I Lost" by a little band called Isle---"
