Seamus chuckled and squeezed her hand. After an awkward moment of silence, he released her hand and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Nora.” His eyes shone with sincerity. “I thank you for your friendship. For giving me a quiet, soothing place to come when I needed to escape the chaos of my home.” He paused and looked down.
Nora rested against the back of her chair. “You won’t come back again, will you?”
“No, I will not risk what I have with Mary by subjecting her to gossip. She already threatened to leave me when she discovered our friendship.” He flushed. “Thankfully she believed me when I told her we were friends. Only friends.”
“She believed you because you are an honest man, Seamus, and she has little reason not to have faith in you.” Nora’s eyes shone with regretful understanding. “If you were my man, I’d feel as she does. And I’d be honored that you would act in such a manner.”
“I like you, Nora. I will miss receiving your advice.” He shrugged. “But from now on, the counsel I must heed is my wife’s.”
Although her eyes shone and it appeared she fought tears, her voice was steady and no tear tracked down her cheek. “This is as it should be.” She paused. “However, before you go, and because you are already here, may I give you one last bit of advice?” At his curt nod, she said, “Reconsider your son Declan’s marriage to that girl from Albany.” She saw Seamus’s gaze flicker with interest. “I fear they would be miserable together, as he pined for something she is not, and she yearned for another.”
Seamus stilled as he considered her advice. “I fear you are correct, but I don’t want to interfere.”
She smiled. “It’s the place of parents to interfere, especially when their children are making a catastrophic error.” She made a small motion with her hands as though to say the decision was his. “If you are smart, you will discuss this with your wife.”
Seamus nodded and rose. “Thank you, Nora. For everything.”
She squeezed his hand. “I will miss you, Seamus.”
He turned, leaving her staring after him without a backward glance.
A few evenings later, Aileen followed Declan into his family’s home. She paused as she heard a cacophony of voices coming from the rear of the house, and she tugged on his hand so he paused in the empty living room. “I’m uncertain this is wise,” she whispered.
He raised a hand, running his fingertips over her hair pulled back in a tight chignon at the base of her nape. “Of course it is. We’re marrying within a week. All of my family should meet you and I want you to meet my mum.” He squeezed her shoulder. “Come,” he urged, pulling her forward so that she stumbled a step before righting herself.
Aileen ran her free hand over her dun colored skirt as she traipsed in after Declan, her smile half-hearted and the trepidation evident in her gaze. She stood half behind him as he called out to his siblings and then stood to the side of the room as he grabbed a younger brother in a headlock, rubbing his hand over his sibling’s hair.
Glancing around the room that also doubled as their dining room, she marveled at the controlled chaos. Everyone seemed to talk at once, dishes, silverware, and cups were passed from one to another as the table was set by the men, and two women worked at the stove, chattering away. One was older with a fair amount of gray in her hair, and had her back to Aileen. The younger woman looked like Kevin, except she had startling bright blue eyes and she remembered meeting her. Maggie, Kevin had called her. When she noticed Aileen staring at her, Maggie murmured to the older woman, who turned to stare at her.
Rather than the warm, welcoming smile Aileen had dreamed of, Declan’s mother studied her with an inquisitive caution. Feeling as though she had intruded on a family dinner, Aileen backed up a step, only to bump into someone entering the room.
“Easy, lass,” Seamus O’Rourke murmured as he gripped her shoulder. “Come, join us.” He pulled on her arm with a gentle insistence, leading her to the table where the large number of O’Rourke brothers sat telling stories or squabbling. He eased Aileen into a seat beside Declan and then beamed at the women by the stove. “Whatever you’ve prepared for supper, Mary love, it smells delicious.”
Mary’s smile burst forth and she winked at Seamus. “’Tis a simple stew, but with the number we have to feed each night, ’tis the easiest to make.”
“I’m sorry to burden you with someone else to feed,” Aileen murmured, moving as though she would rise and scurry away.
Declan placed a hand on her arm. “Nay, Miss O’Rourke, you are very welcome here and there is plenty for all of us. Da ensures we never go hungry.” He looked at his father with pride.
“Aye, if it’s the last thing I do, no O’Rourke will ever go hungry again,” Seamus said.
Mary sat to his right after she and Maggie had served the meal. After a quick prayer, they dug into the simple fare.
Aileen sat in stupefied wonder as the conversation recommenced. She recognized Declan’s eldest brother, Ardan, who sat beside Kevin at the far side of the table. Kevin refused to look in her direction and whispered in his brother’s ear throughout the meal. Although she attempted to focus on the delicious food and Declan, her gaze continued to flit to Kevin who successfully ignored her.
When she glanced up, she saw Declan’s mother staring at her with concern. “Declan can talk of little else except his upcoming nuptials,” Mary murmured, her direct gaze gauging Aileen for her reaction. She frowned at Aileen’s seemingly instinctual hesitation to respond to Declan gripping her hand or smiling at her. Rather than return the smile, she looked away, staring at her soup bowl.
“Mum, with you, Niamh and Maggie preparing the wedding feast, it will be a celebration the townsfolk will never forget,” Declan proclaimed. He raised Aileen’s stiff hand, kissing the back of it.
Aileen trembled at his kiss, and she knew she had to accustom herself to his touch. To his manner. She had chosen him. She had latched on to Kevin’s words and misconstrued them. Aileen swallowed back a sob. For she knew if she hadn’t, she would have had hell to pay for.
Long after the family had dispersed after dinner, Kevin sat at the kitchen table. He stared at the place Aileen had sat and wondered what more he could have done. Said. He cursed as he fought despair that any chance he had with her was slipping though his fingers.
The scuffing sound of slippers on the floor had him jerking toward the door and he squinted in the relative darkness. “Mum?” he called in a soft voice.
“Aye,” she said as she set the candle on the table. She smiled her thanks as Kevin lifted it to light the lantern in the middle of the table. “I craved a glass of milk. I didn’t mean to ruin your ruminating.”
Kevin shrugged. “There’s no point to it. She made her choice. And I have to live with it.”
Mary tugged open the icebox, poured herself a glass of milk, and then sat across from him. “Did she?” Mary asked. “Did you tell her how you felt when you went with Declan that morning?” She waited patiently as Kevin sighed and ran a hand though his hair.
“No, we barely spoke. And when I tried to speak, she wouldn’t let me get more than a few words out.” He raised a tormented gaze to meet hers. “I fear she thinks I played her false on the steamboat.”
Mary sat in contemplative silence a long moment. “Maggie has a different impression from when she met her. What changed?”
Kevin rapped his fingers on the table, uncharacteristically fidgety. “Everything,” he whispered. “I realized how much I could hurt Declan. That Da wanted her for Dec.” He closed his eyes. “On the boat, I promised her I wouldn’t interfere if the man she was promised to was a good, honorable man. Declan is one of the best men I know.”
“Other than Ardan,” she murmured. At his nod, she sighed. “Why do you believe your happiness is not as important as your brother’s? That you must sacrifice what you want and who you love for him?”
“It’s how Da raised us,” he protested. “To be honorable. To care for our siblings.�
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She took another sip of milk and stared at her son who looked so much like her. “Yes, but he’d never expect you to step aside when you loved the lass.” She paused. “You are as worthy of happiness as any of your siblings, Kevin. Fight for the woman you love. For if you don’t, I fear you will regret it forever.” She paused as she saw doubt in his gaze. “Do you believe your father didn’t fight for me?” she whispered.
At his avid gaze, she squeezed his forearm. “Other men vied for my attention, but your father ensured I only thought of him.” She flushed. “’Twasn’t hard to do.” Her smile faded and she sobered. “Since I’ve returned, he’s fought, every day, to restore the trust I had in him. To prove our separation was from a horrible misunderstanding.”
“You’ve always made it look easy,” Kevin whispered.
“Love makes everything easier, Kevin. But anything worthwhile is a lot of work with heartache and uncertainty mixed in. In the end, you must have faith. And you must trust the person you love to love you with an equal madness.”
Kevin lowered his head. “I fear she doesn’t.” He breathed his admission.
“Then you deserve someone else,” Mary said as she bent forward and kissed his head.
He took a deep breath and met her gaze, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I love you, Mum. I missed you, so much.”
She nodded, pulling him into her arms for a long moment. “And I you, Kevin.” She released him and rose. “Get some rest, love.”
After he watched his mother slip from the kitchen to return to bed, Kevin walked to the warehouse, determined that he would accomplish something with his pent up energy. Seeing Aileen with Declan had only infuriated him, and he was thankful Ardan had pushed him into a seat far away from the happy couple. He didn’t know how he would have coped if he’d had to sit any closer to her and Declan than he had. As it was, he had barely spared her a glance, resentment filling him at seeing her on his brother’s arm.
He pushed open the warehouse door, slamming it shut behind him. After lighting a kerosene lamp, he moved to his father’s office and set the lamp down. Rather than tackle the ledgers he knew needed tallying, he sat with a thud in his father’s chair, the leather creaking under his weight. The lamp cast weak light over the small office and he rested his head in his hands. The discussion he and Declan had had with Aileen played through his mind over and over again, and he wondered in futile misery what he could have done differently. He felt little solace in the fact his brother would be content while he was miserable, although he knew he had given little indication he was hurt by Aileen’s rejection. Only Ardan and his mum seemed to understand his heartache.
He froze, listening as the latch on the warehouse door opened. Swearing to himself for forgetting to lock the door, he rose on silent feet, grabbed a piece of wood from the corner and crept into the main room. He saw a small shadow in the main room and crept behind it. Wrapping his arm around the interloper’s waist, he let out a small cry, and raised his arm up high. “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t clobber you senseless,” he said, his voice full of menace.
“Kevin?” Aileen whispered in a quivering voice.
Instantly the wood dropped to the floor and his arm vised around her waist loosened. “Aileen?” he gasped, spinning her to face him. However the room was dark, so he grabbed her arm and pulled her to the office. When he saw her, dressed in her drab dress and black cloak, he glowered at her. “What were you thinkin’, lass?” He gripped her shoulders as though he wanted to give her a good shake, but refrained from acting on the urge. “I could have harmed you.”
“I …” She closed her eyes. “I saw the light in here and I thought … I hoped it was you.” She stared at him with unabashed longing.
He dropped his hands and took a step back. “Why would you seek me out? You’ve chosen Declan.”
She wrung her hands before her. “There’s so much you’re not aware of,” she whispered. She looked at him as though hoping for him to understand, but he shook his head with his arms over his chest.
“Make me understand, lass.”
“I have to marry your brother,” she whispered.
“Why?” He reached forward, clasping her head between his palms, his touch gentle and reverent. “He doesn’t cherish you as I do. His heart doesn’t leap with joy at the sight of you. His every waking thought isn’t about what he can do to make your life better.”
She shook her head at his impassioned rasp of “why.” A tear coursed down her cheek and her brown eyes were filled with a fathomless pool of regret. “Kevin,” she breathed. “I wish it could be you.” She bit her lip and shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t love me enough,” he whispered, backing away from her, his hands dropping from her cheeks. “You don’t believe I’ll offer you the life he can give you.” He shook his head as though dumbfounded at the thought.
He turned away from her, unable to look at her for another moment. “You’ve made your choice, Miss O’Keefe. I don’t know why you’re here.” He heard her take a deep breath and then stiffened as she ran a hand over his back.
“I wanted to apologize. For turning our lives upside down. For giving either of us hope when there was none.” She choked on her tears. “Forgive me for intruding in your life. For our friendship. Forgive me.”
He shook his head. “No, I’ll never accept your apology.”
She let out a sob and he heard her feet scurrying across the floor as she ran into the darkened warehouse. Somehow she made it to the door and it slammed shut after her.
He closed his eyes, his fingers clamped tight with nails gouging against his palms. Whispering to himself he said, “I’ll never want to forget meeting you.”
Chapter 13
The day of Aileen’s wedding to Declan dawned bright, with no clouds in the sky. Fort Benton did not yet have a church, so the O’Rourkes had opted to have the ceremony in a small cleared field near their home. After the ceremony, they would move the festivities to their large home where Niamh, Maggie, and Mary had prepared a feast.
Aileen stood at the window of her hotel room and she could see the small field she would soon traverse to meet her groom. She closed her eyes as fear she was marrying the wrong brother nearly overwhelmed her. She firmed her shoulders as she attempted to banish that sentiment, clinging to her pride and determination. Reminding herself of what she would lose should she back out now, she turned to meet her aunt’s inquisitive gaze. “Are you ready?” she asked.
“I’ve been ready for your marriage for weeks. It’s already taken too long to occur, if you ask me,” her aunt said in a clipped voice. She wore a striking aquamarine dress with silver buttons down the front. In contrast, her niece wore a simple beige dress with little adornment. “Come,” her aunt intoned, turning for the door.
Aileen followed her aunt, taking consolation that after today, she would no longer have to heed her aunt’s commands. Smiling, she met Mr. Foster’s appreciative stare and then followed her aunt. When they arrived to the field, she frowned to find it empty. “Are we early?” she asked.
“No, we’re ten minutes late,” her aunt snapped. “Just like those feckless Irish. If he’s going to stand you up …” she hissed.
“We’re not feckless, ma’am,” Ardan said with an insincere smile as he approached. “We were toasting our brother’s good fortune.” Soon the entire O’Rourke family and a few of their good friends, including Leander Wilcox, Stanley Robinson and Aaron Foster, stood in the field.
A priest marched to the front in colorful vestments and Declan strode to stand beside him. Ardan joined him. Someone played a low, sweet song on a fiddle and Aileen knew it was her cue to walk toward her betrothed. However, her feet felt as though they were tied down by bricks and she was incapable of moving. After a gentle murmur ran through the crowd, Seamus approached and winged out his arm to her.
“Come, lass, no woman wants to walk herself down the aisle,” he said in a soft, supportive voice.
Declan frowned but gave her an encouraging wink as he waited for her. When his father stopped with her on his arm, Seamus kissed her cheek and then moved the hand that gripped his arm to Declan’s arm.
Just as the priest opened his Bible to speak, Mary blurted out, “I object!”
By this point, more townspeople, river boaters, and backwoodsmen had joined the crowd, eager to see the wedding and partake in any festivities. A gasp resounded at Mary’s rash words.
“No!” Mrs. Davies yelled an instant later.
Aileen spun to face the crowd, blanching to see the number present to witness her humiliation. A strong man who she recognized as a bullwhacker held her aunt back and away from the front of the crowd. Aileen focused on Declan’s mother, ashen and panting with dread as she met the older woman’s determined gaze. “Why?” she gasped. Declan now stood apart from her and she felt alone in a sea of strangers. “Why are you doing this?”
Mary took a step closer, speaking in a soft voice that did not carry on the breeze. Only those at the front heard what she said, and few relayed her words to those in the back who were left to speculate. “My Declan deserves a woman filled with joy and love. A woman who is eager to marry him. Not one pining for another, wishing her life were different. My Declan deserves so much more than you can give him.”
Aileen gasped as though she’d been stabbed and backed up a step, nearly toppling into the priest, who by now had closed his Bible and watched the spectacle with fascination. “How dare you?” Aileen gasped out.
“I dare, because I know what it is to marry for love.” She gripped Seamus’s hand as he stood beside her. “And I know what it is to marry out of desperation.” Her eyes glistened with her sincerity as she battled tears. “All of you are worthy of so much more than this.”
Pioneer Dream: The O’Rourke Family Montana Saga Page 18
