by Sarah Osborn
Emma unwrapped the small bouquet of yellow daisies and laid it on the grave. “I always try to bring Amy something, and I don't know why, but daisies make me think of her.” She reached out and touched the headstone. “Maybe it's because they make me smile, and she made you smile. You had a beautiful smile, Tiny. You should've done it more often.
“I really miss you. I know we didn't see much of each other after you moved away, but just knowing you were around was, I dunno, reassuring, I guess. I can't...” She blinked and a tear dropped onto the flowers. “I can't believe you're really gone. Sometimes something happens and I reach for the phone, and then I remember. I fucking hate when that happens.”
For a moment the clouds parted and the sunlight glinted off the marble. Emma smiled and wiped her eyes. “At least I can come and talk to you, here. And let's be honest, big guy, you never said much when you were alive.” She stood and brushed herself down. “I have to go, but I'll come again when I'm next in town, and maybe I'll bring you something.” She rolled her eyes. “Listen to me planning gifts for a dead guy.” She blew a kiss and grinned. “I'll see you soon.”
~ oOo ~
“Well, look who's here.” Felix opened the door wider and stepped to one side. “Emma's in the kitchen.”
Deke nodded and wordlessly followed him inside. He knew Felix was pissed, and although his ol' lady's friend got on his last nerve at times, he didn't really blame him. He grinned as Emma turned around, a look of surprise on her face. “Hey, baby girl.”
“Hey. What are you doing here?” She slid her hands under his cut and kissed him.
“Burst pipe in the clubhouse, so it's been all hands on deck.” There would never be a time when she didn't feel amazing, pressed up against him. “Everything's under control now, so I wondered if you wanted to come for a ride.” He glanced over to a scowling Felix. “Just for a little while. Then you can go back to your girl time.”
“Oh, don't mind me.” Felix pouted. “I'm just the babysitter and the one left here to pick up the pieces when you run out on her.”
One of these days he was going to shut that fucking mouth forever. One fucking day, that little bitch was going to say something that wasn't completely true. Samson felt his hand ball into a fist. Emma pressed herself a little closer, and he forced himself to relax. “Tell him to shut the fuck up.”
She grinned and pushed herself away from him. “Play nice. Both of you. I'll go and get changed.”
Emma was hardly out of the room before Felix opened his mouth. Samson glared. “Not one word.”
“If you don't want to hear what I have to say, leave. This is my house, Deke...”
“Samson.”
“Whatever. This is my house, I'll say just what I damned well please. Emma is my friend. I don't know what your definition of friend is, Samson. But in my world, friends don't stand by and watch the people they love lose pieces of themselves because they're shackled to a selfish asshole.” There was a glimmer of fear in his eye as Samson stared him down, but Felix stood his ground – good little faggot. “If you keep this bullshit up, you'll wind up with a shell of the woman you fell in love with. And I do know you love her, Deke. I don't know what's been going on with you two over the last few months, I'm guessing it has something to do with Tiny passing, but please tell me that you've worked it out. She seems happy now – I haven't seen her like this for ages – but I'm worried about her. She won't show me her paintings.”
“We're okay. She's okay, I've got this, Felix.”
“I...”
“We're good.” Deke turned and grinned as she walked back into the room. “You ready?”
“Yeah. Wanna take me for a ride?”
SEVENTY-FIVE
Beth leaned on the veranda rail and watched as the kids raced around on the sand with their latest acquisition – Rollo, the German Shepherd pup. Joe had been gone for a year, and although she felt guilty admitting it, she was happy. Being a single mom of four kids wasn't easy, but it hadn't been as hard as she'd imagined it would be. And while she still missed Joe, she felt stronger and more confident now than she ever had.
They'd been in their new home for just over a month, and it was perfect. Beth loved LA and loved living on the beach, as did the kids. It would be a while before she'd have to think about going back to work. Joe had been well insured, and the profits from the sale of her houses meant that, financially, they were secure for the foreseeable future, and so, for now, she could concentrate on her kids and settling into the small, laid-back community. The decision to settle here had been the best thing she'd ever done.
Sometimes, she hardly recognized herself. After a lifetime of molding herself to what she thought people expected of her, Beth had learned to be true to herself. She listened to the music she wanted to listen to, read books that she'd always meant to read and watched all those movies she'd always planned to watch. She'd cut her hair and stopped worrying about the shape of her body. She no longer worried that there were unmade beds, or crumbs under the table, not when the beach was calling and there was a world of experiences out there for her and the kids.
Beth had always imagined that, without Joe, she'd drown in an ocean of loneliness, but instead she'd learned to move with its tides. She'd learned to go with the flow.
Her musing was halted by the sound of a Harley approaching, and she felt her heart sink. She knew it wasn't Spike, he would always use his car when he came to visit, and as far as she knew, he hadn't told the rest of the club where she was living. With a sigh, she turned and watched as the big black bike came to a halt and the one man it was impossible to hide from dismounted and, limping slightly, walked towards her.
The old Beth would've painted a smile on her face and welcomed him warmly, but she wasn't that woman anymore. “What do you want?”
“Nice to see you, too.” Ignoring her scowl, he bent and kissed her cheek. “Nothing like a warm welcome when you've ridden across three states to visit an old friend.”
“I'm not your friend, Samson. I never have been.” Beth turned and went back to watching the kids. “What do you want?” She couldn't quite ignore his look of longing at the sun lounger. “You can sit down, if you like.”
“Thanks.” He sat down as though he expected to snap in half and winced as he leaned back. “Three really fucking big states. I swear they're growing.” Pushing up his Aviators, he squinted at her. “Ain't the first time you've been pissed at me, Beth. First time I ain't got a clue why, though.”
Alice was getting left behind, and was going to get mad, real soon. Ignoring Samson, Beth leaned over the rail. “Wait for your sister.”
Abi turned and stopped dead in her tracks, causing Luke to cannon into her. Her eyes widened as they fell on the bike parked next to the house, and her face split into a huge grin as Samson sat up. “Samson!”
There were no signs of any aches or pains as he ran down the steps to the beach and swept her daughter up in his arms. “Hey, princess.”
“Hey.” Beth's heart sank as Abi laid her hands on his cheeks, just like she'd always done, and kissed his nose. “Is Emma here?”
“Nah, just me.” He put her down as the other kids approached. “Well look at you, surfer dudes.” He picked up Alice and kissed her before setting her back down on the sand. “Looking good, Angel.” He didn't sign as fluently as Spike, but he did pretty well. “Miss me?” Alice grinned and shook her head and he laughed. “Nah, didn't miss you either.”
“Are you staying, Uncle Samson?” Luke tugged his jeans.
“Maybe. Hey, Imi. Is that your dog?”
Imi nodded shyly and ran towards the house. Samson frowned, but let her go.
Beth took her hand and led her into the house, leaving Samson and the rest of her kids on the beach. “How about you help me get some lemonade. Then I'd better make dinner. I guess Uncle Samson's hungry.”
SEVENTY-SIX
The atmosphere, as they sat down for dinner, was decidedly chilly – and he was an Alaskan. Beth was po
lite and pleasant as he and the kids sat around the table on the deck, but she took no active part in any conversations and would hardy look in his direction. He poked the salad with his fork and shuddered. “I really hate shrimp, Beth.”
“Do you? I had no idea.”
Sure you didn't. If the kids hadn't been there, he'd've called her out on this passive-aggressive bullshit. He got enough of that at home. Samson pushed the plate away and picked up his beer. “Nice place. Are you here for good?”
Beth shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Kids seem okay.” Fuck, this was hard work.
“Yeah.”
“You cut your hair.”
“Yeah.”
“Beth...”
“I'll make you a sandwich.”
“I'm fine.” He forced himself to smile and turned to Abi. “How're you liking living by the sea, princess?”
“It's cool. We play on the beach all the time, and me and Luke are learning to surf.”
“That sounds great. How about school?”
“The kids like their new school. They're settled and happy, and so am I.” Beth poured herself a glass of wine and pushed the food around her plate.
“Good to hear.” He pushed his chair back. “I'm gonna go and find a motel. I'd like to see the kids before I leave tomorrow, if that's okay.”
“You can stay here, can't he Mom?” Luke began taking the shrimp from Samson's plate. “I've got an Xbox. You can play on it if you want.”
It was a low blow, using her kids like this, but he'd come a long way, and Beth's attitude was pissing him off. “I'd love to, Lukey, but only if your mom agrees.”
Beth's expression was one of defeat. “You can stay here, but you'll have to sleep on the sofa.”
“It's okay, Uncle Samson. It turns into a bed. Uncle Spike sleeps on it all the time.”
Samson managed to stay out of Beth's way in the time between dinner and bedtime. He wasn't the biggest fan of walking, but had readily agreed to take the pup for a walk with Abi, and suddenly found himself eager to learn all about whatever the fuck it was Luke was playing on the Xbox. He wasn't in any hurry to talk to Beth, but the kids had to sleep eventually, and he couldn't put off being alone with her any longer. Samson leaned back on the lounger and closed his eyes as Beth sat on one of the dining chairs. “What's going on, Beth?”
“I'm moving on.”
“By running away from your family?”
“My family is here.”
A large orange cat weaved itself around her ankles, then jumped onto the lounger and settled itself on his chest. Samson tickled it under the chin. “Emma told me you had Tiny's ashes buried with Amy.”
“It's where he'd want to be.” Beth stood up. “Do you want another beer?”
“I'm good. Why didn't you tell anyone he was there?”
“Oh, I'm sure your precious Emma wasted no time in telling everyone.” She drained the last of her glass. “And you can tell her that I don't want her visiting his grave anymore. She has no right.”
“She has every right, Beth. Emma loved Tiny, if she gets comfort from visiting his grave, I ain't gonna stop her.”
“Are you blind? They were fucking right under our noses.”
Samson sighed. “You wanna know what happened between Emma and Tiny?”
“You know?” She stiffened.
“Yeah, I know. They were never fucking, Beth.” He sat up and put his feet on the floor. “Tiny kissed her. Once.”
“He kissed her.”
“Yep.”
“That's what she told you?”
His jaw clenched, as he felt his hackles start to rise. “Yes, Beth. That's what she told me. Tiny kissed her and she kissed him back. It was nice, apparently.”
“And you're okay with that?”
“Not especially, but I can't kick his ass on account of him being dead.” He shrugged. “They kissed once, Beth. They were drunk and high, it happens. You know that.”
“When?”
“I dunno, a long time ago.” Samson stood up and, with his hands against her cheeks, kissed her. He pulled away and grinned. “Now we have one up on them.”
Beth did her best deer in the headlights impression, then pushed him away. “It's not the same thing. Joe was in love with her.”
“For fuck's sake. I'm tired of this.” He turned and headed for his bike. “I'm gonna find a motel. Tell the kids I'll see them before I head back up north.”
~ oOo ~
The old Beth would have apologized, but she wasn't that woman anymore, so she'd watched him ride away with only the tiniest feeling of regret. The kids had been upset when they woke to find him gone, and she did feel a little guilty, but they'd be better off without him in their lives, and she'd told herself that when he came back to see them, she'd tell him that he wasn't to call again.
He was great with them, though. He'd turned up the next day as promised, and hung out with them, making sure all four got equal attention. Even Imi, who really didn't like strangers, was coming out of her shell. No matter. As soon as he came back down from giving them their bedtime story, she was going to tell him to stay away. Beth poured herself a glass of red and sat out on the veranda to wait.
She didn't give him a chance to speak as he stepped through the door. “I don't want you here again.”
There was something about the men who wore that patch on their backs. Beth wasn't sure how they managed to switch from being gentle family men to unapologetic outlaws without actually doing anything. Joe used to do it – she'd always called it 'going all Tiny.' Her throat felt dry, and she took a huge gulp of wine. Samson raised an eyebrow. “You need to get that bug out your ass.”
“I don't have a bug up my ass.”
“Sure you do. You really think I'm buying all this 'I'm moving on' bullshit? Who you really pissed at, huh?”
“I'm not pissed at anyone.” She tried to keep her voice even, but couldn't quite meet his eyes. “And it's not bullshit. I want us to have a fresh start away from the club. Is that so unreasonable?”
“Nope. But I still call bullshit. I dunno what's going on in your head. But you need to get straight, cuz your thinking is all twisted right now. You're Tiny's ol' lady – family – whether you like it or not.”
“Tiny's dead. And it's the club's fault.”
“He knew what he was doing.”
Well that makes everything just fine. “Can you just leave? Please. I'm doing what's best for me and the kids.”
Samson sighed. “Sure you are.” He shrugged. “Lucky you got the chance to move on really. Lotta widows in your position wouldn't've had two houses to sell – one of which had its mortgage mysteriously paid – and a nice big, fat insurance payment to live on.” He looked around at the beach house. “And I'm reckoning the owner of this place sold it to you at a rock bottom price.” He grabbed the hoodie that was hanging over the rail. “You got my number if you decide to pull your head outta your ass.”
She bit down the urge to yell at him as he headed for his bike. Did he think she was stupid? She knew that the myriad of bank accounts they'd had had filtered dirty money. And they'd struggled to pay the premiums of Joe's life insurance at times. She was well aware that club members all over the country were, on paper, the owners of tattoo shops, pawnbrokers and any number of businesses, set up for the sole purpose of making dirty money clean. She knew how it worked. And she knew blood money when she saw it. She'd accepted it for the same reason she accepted Spike's help. They owed her.
“Uncle Samson!” Beth swung around as Abi ran down the steps. “Uncle Samson. Wait!”
He stopped and turned just in time for her daughter to throw her arms around his waist. Beth couldn't hear what he said as he bent and whispered in her ear, but Abi smiled and kissed his nose. Samson kissed the top of her head and, straightening up, looked over to Beth. “Don't leave it too long, Beth.”
~ oOo ~
He hadn't told Emma that he was going to see Beth; as far as she was concerned he'd b
een on a charity run in Reno. His girl missed her friend, and he hadn't wanted to build her hopes up. And as he pulled up outside their little home he was glad he'd said nothing. He never wanted to see disappointment in her eyes, or to see her smile fade.
Beth had made her choice, and for now, she wasn't going to be moved. He wasn't prepared to waste any more energy on her. She and the kids would be taken care of, but not by him. Tiny's ol' lady would always be family, no matter what she thought. But for now, Deke had his own family to take care of.
Emma opened the door as he dismounted. “Hey. Welcome home.”
“Hey.” Nothing felt better than his girl in his arms. Deke followed Emma inside, and wandered over to where Lottie and Genghis were curled up on the sofa.
“Don't wake her.” Emma laid her hand on his back. “She has a cold and has been grumpy all day.”
He grinned. “She has her mother's temper.”
Emma rolled her eyes. “How was the run?”
“Good. I... I er... I went through Bay View on my way back.”
“Oh? Why?”
“I wanted to see Vince. Wanted him to know the damage he'd done. Wanted Tiny to be avenged.” Deke took a deep breath. “Wanted him to pay.” He felt Emma stiffen next to him. “It's okay, baby girl. I just kept on riding. I'm tired of killing—tired of losing the people I love. I want my kid to grow up with a mommy and a daddy. I want to watch her graduate, and walk her down the aisle.” He smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. “I want to grow old, surrounded by grandkids, here with you.”
