“But sorry to say,” Jess said to her. “The hill is closing. You’ve got to get to the bottom.”
Hailey reluctantly got to her feet just as Jess’s radio on his shoulder squawked.
“Yeah. Jess here,” he said.
“Got a couple of guys here, heading toward you. Looks like one of them ended up in a tree well,” the tinny voice over the radio replied. “We’re following the tracks to make sure they get onto the hill okay.”
Hailey wanted to grab Jess’s radio and ask who it was. What did they look like? Where were they?
“I’ll wait,” Jess said.
“Can I wait too?”
Jess looked down on her from his considerable height, pursing his lips. “Yeah. Sure.”
Hailey wanted to hug him but contented herself with a quick smile.
She turned to the trees edging the run, her heart pounding in her chest, willing, praying for someone to come out.
The air grew cooler and a few flakes began drifting down.
“Supposed to get primo powder up here tomorrow,” Jess said, leaning on his poles. “Be great for the Cat skiing.”
Hailey wrapped her arms around her waist, unable to make small talk with him, her entire attention focused on the trees. She didn’t know where the late skiers would come out and she didn’t know if one of them was Dan. All she could do was watch and send out small, unspecific prayers.
Please, Lord. Please, Lord.
And then she saw a figure burst out of the trees, duck under the rope marking the boundary, then turn and hold it up. He wore a blue coat and black pants. Hailey’s heart turned over and she pushed off just as a young boy came out from the trees and ducked under the rope Dan was holding up.
“Dan. What happened?” Hailey called out, heading directly toward him, her heart dancing against her ribs, relief and happiness battling with each other.
“Jeremy here ended up in a tree well,” Dan said as the young boy came to a halt beside him. His coat was crusted with snow and Hailey could see the fear still etched on his features.
Jess was beside them, pulling off his pack.
“You okay?” he asked the kid, then turned to Dan. “Nothing broken?”
“Nope,” Dan replied, drawing in a deep breath. “He’s okay far as I can tell.”
The boy shook his head and turned to Dan. “This guy saved my life. I thought I was going to die.”
“You would have if you’d been on your own,” Jess said, his deep voice full of reprimand. “Let’s head down the hill. We’ll check you over at the bottom.”
Just then the other ski patrol members emerged from the trees.
“We’ll all go down together,” Jess said. He looked over at Dan and Hailey. “You’ll have to come too.”
Hailey nodded, then glanced at Dan, relief sluicing through her. He hadn’t forgotten about her. He hadn’t abandoned her.
They said nothing as they carved their way down the hill. They were just about at the bottom when Dan caught Hailey by the arm.
“I need to talk to Hailey,” Dan said, when Jess stopped, shooting him a questioning glance. “And I want to do it up here. On the hill.”
Jess glanced up and down. The chalet was within view. “Okay, but I’ll be watching to make sure you make it down.”
“Fair enough,” Dan said.
Hailey felt a thrum of anticipation as the ski patrol took Jeremy farther down the hill, disappearing over a ridge, then reappearing at the very bottom.
Dan dropped down onto the snow and pulled Hailey down beside him. “Hey. So. Here we are. Full circle.”
A silvery fragment of happiness, bright as the sparkling snow around them, pierced her heart.
“Hey, yourself,” she returned. “Are you okay?”
“Trying to be,” he said, pulling in a wavering breath. “Seeing that kid upside down in that tree well took ten years off my life.” He pulled his helmet off and rubbed his eyes with his fist. Then he drew in another breath and looked over the valley below them. “In spite of that, I missed this.”
Hailey’s questions and thoughts tumbled over one another, all demanding to be spoken. But she kept quiet and waited for Dan.
They sat for a few more moments, as if letting the time between them catch up to this moment, this completing of a circle of events that had sundered their lives.
Then Dan reached over and ran his fingertip above the cut on her forehead, now covered with a couple of Steri-Strips. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It stung a bit but Shannon said it wouldn’t scar. Not that I care about that,” she added, in case he might think her vain.
Dan let his finger drift down her face, then, to her disappointment, he withdrew his hand, and turned his eyes back to the valley.
Hailey let the moment lengthen, knowing that after all these years, Dan would need some time to begin. For now, she was content to be beside him, sitting on the ski hill.
“I don’t know where to start,” he said finally, his words quiet. “I’m not sure exactly what to say.”
Hailey swallowed, then said, “Why don’t you start with Austin?”
“That’s probably the best place to begin.” Dan waited a moment, then turned to Hailey. “Remember how we got separated on the lift that day?”
She nodded. “You and Austin ended up together with some girl and I was trying not to be jealous.”
A melancholy smile tweaked his lips. “You never needed to be jealous.”
Hailey returned his smile, his words like a gift.
“Anyhow, when Austin and I got to the top,” Dan continued, “I told him to find some friends to go boarding with. I wanted to be alone with you. I had something important I wanted to ask you.”
Hailey couldn’t help it. Even after all this time, her heart beat with a sense of expectation.
“But Austin didn’t want to go. He wanted to be with you.” Dan looked down at his hands, shaking his head lightly. “I don’t know if you ever noticed, but my little brother had a huge crush on you.”
This was news to Hailey. “No. I had no idea.”
“That’s why he always hung out with us. I guess he was hoping, somewhere along the way, that you’d notice him or that you’d get rid of me and go with him.” Dan stopped there, pressing his lips together. He blinked once, dashed his hand over his eyes and eased out a slow breath. Hailey sensed how difficult this was for Dan but also knew they were on the verge of something important and necessary to their relationship.
That last word caught in her mind, full of hope and possibilities. But she caught herself. Just wait. Just wait.
“I was mad at him because all day I’d been trying to get rid of him and he wouldn’t take the hint. I had…I had a ring I wanted to give to you. A promise ring. A way of letting you know you were mine.” He paused again and Hailey clung to his words, holding them close. “Anyway, Austin wasn’t getting the hint and I was getting more and more frustrated with him. So while we waited for you I told him that I wanted him to leave us alone. Take a hint and take a hike and stop being so ridiculous about his feelings for you. That you would never have anything to do with him. I didn’t hold back.” He paused, lowering his head in his hands. “I’ll never forget the look on his face when I said that. He looked as if I had punched him in the stomach. Then he pushed off and the next thing we knew, he was gone. And the last thing he heard from me were those hateful, awful words that probably caused his death.”
Dan’s voice broke and Hailey felt all the pain and guilt Dan had been carrying around all those years.
And suddenly it was as if the sun had come from behind the clouds, illuminating all the doubts and concerns she’d had all those years.
“So that’s why you pulled away from me? Not just because
you lost Austin but because you thought you caused his death?”
“I kept going over and over what I said to him, wishing, praying I could back up and do it all over again. It was like every word I said was a punch that pushed him to the edge.” Dan stopped, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat and continued. “I couldn’t talk about it either to my parents or you. I couldn’t let you find out what kind of person I really was. The only way I could deal with what I did was to push you away too.”
Hailey felt her own regret move slowly through her, picking up emotions as it gained strength. “And I broke up with you. I couldn’t be bothered to understand. To understand or to wait until you got through this all. I’m sorry.”
He turned to her then, taking her hand in his, covering it, his eyes holding her like a tack. “Don’t apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. I told you I was leaving Hartley Creek, what else could you do?”
“I could have been more understanding…but I was scared. Scared that you were leaving me like my father did. That’s why I broke up with you. Because this time I wanted to be the one to do it first.”
Then Dan caught her face in his hands. “So much pain and sorrow…” He let the sentence trail off. “So much misunderstanding.”
His eyes held hers, delving deeply into her soul. “I’m so sorry for everything. Would you forgive me?”
She held his broken, longing gaze and her heart leapt in her chest. “I have nothing to forgive you for and everything to love you for.”
Then, to her surprise, he pulled her closer, lowered his head and caught her lips in a cool, gentle kiss. A kiss which connected them and calmed the sorrow and hurt of the last few days.
He pulled away, then pressed his now-warm lips to her cheeks, her forehead, then her mouth again.
Hailey clung to him, her soul singing with joy and wonder.
This was right, she thought. This was how things were supposed to be.
He finally pulled away. “I love you, Hailey Deacon. I love you so much. Always have.” He sighed. “I’ve got so much more to tell you, so much more to talk about. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. Telling you what you mean to me.”
Hailey’s heart skipped. Had she heard him right?
He kissed her again. “I hope I’m not jumping the gun, but I don’t want this to end, ever. I want you to marry me.”
Hailey closed her eyes, letting his wonderful, loving, amazing words rest in the silence. Letting them register in her heart.
Then she looked up at him, her smile threatening to split her face.
“Yes. My answer is yes.”
He cupped her face, letting his fingers trace her features. “You are amazing to me, Hailey. I’ve learned so much from you.”
“Well, that’s a good thing, I guess. I am a teacher after all.”
He grinned at her, then kissed her again.
“I’ll have to go talk to my parents next. Tell them what really happened with Austin.” He paused and Hailey heard the pain and regret in his voice.
She cupped his cheeks, turning his face to hers. “Dan, Austin made his own choices. You don’t have to take that on. He didn’t have to go down that run. You didn’t push him down there, just like no one pushed that boy you just rescued down the hill. He had made his own choices too.”
Dan pressed his lips together, as if still not sure.
“You’ve taken responsibility for seven years,” she said, hoping, praying he understood. “You told me what happened and I wasn’t shocked or angry. I know your parents won’t be either. They’re so happy you’re back in their lives. You and Natasha. That’s enough for them.”
Dan shot her a grateful glance. “Part of me knows that. The Andersons asked me to forgive them for trying to take Natasha away.”
“And did you?”
“Yeah. I did. And it wasn’t that hard after all.”
Hailey ran her fingers down his face, cupping his chin in hers, his whiskers rough against her hand. “Forgiveness is freedom and I know your parents, once they hear the truth, will not even think they have anything to forgive. I think they’ll be glad to have the Dan they have always loved, completely back. Nothing can bring Austin back, but you didn’t cause his death.”
“I think a part of me always knew that,” Dan said. “But I couldn’t forgive myself. And when that happened, I compounded that mistake with many more.”
“But you’re here now,” Hailey said. “And I’m here. And you just saved a young boy’s life. And maybe, if someone had been watching out for Austin like you were watching out for that kid, he might be alive too.”
Dan looked at her again and she saw the beginnings of understanding in his eyes.
“I’m looking forward to starting over,” she continued. “To taking care of you and Natasha.”
Dan’s grin expanded, and he caught her in a fierce hug. “You are such a blessing. I’m so thankful that God gave us another chance together.”
This declaration was followed by another kiss and then another.
Hailey pulled back and looked down over the deserted hill, letting the peace of the moment wash over her.
Her heart sang and she folded her hands over Dan’s. “Can we pray together? Right here?” she said.
“I’d like that.”
Hailey tightened her grip on Dan’s hand then lowered her head, drew in a breath to center herself and began.
“Dear Lord, thank You for this mountain that brought us great joy and sorrow. Help us to find our way through the sorrow. Thank You for Austin and the blessing his life was for all of us. We miss him, but we also know that he is now with You. Help us through our pain and sorrow and guilt. Thank You for using Dan to save that boy’s life. Help us to embrace Your forgiveness and show us that always and everywhere, our lives are in Your hands.”
She stopped, her own throat thickening as she thought of Austin and the sorrow and guilt Dan had been carrying all these years.
Dan squeezed her hand and then he began, his voice quiet and subdued, but, at the same time, holding a power that resonated with Hailey.
“Thanks, Lord, for Hailey. Thanks for family and the town and community we’re a part of. Forgive me, Lord, for what I told my brother. Forgive me for how I treated him.” He stopped a moment, then continued. “Thanks for covering our mistakes. Thanks for feeling our pain. Thanks for Your love.”
Dan stopped and Hailey whispered an “Amen.”
Neither said anything, as if unwilling to break the holy moment.
Finally Hailey drew in a long, cleansing breath and gave Dan a smile. “That’s the first time we’ve prayed together,” she said.
“It’s a good way to start what we’re going to finish.”
Hailey nodded, peace washing over her. Then she looked backward, up at the mountain, and she smiled.
“Okay, what’s putting that look on your face?” Dan asked.
Hailey’s smile grew. “According to my Nana, the ridge behind us is the one that August Beck come over when he came back to Kamiskahk.”
Dan followed her gaze and a smile crept across his lips as well. “Very appropriate then, isn’t it, that I proposed to you right here.”
Hailey turned back to Dan. “He made the right choice when he came back.”
Dan dropped a cool kiss on her forehead. “I’m glad I made the right choice too,” he said. “I’m glad I came back.”
“So am I.” She kissed him back, then wrested her gloves out of her pocket, glancing around. “We’re losing our light soon. I guess we better get going before Jess kicks us off the hill.”
Dan grinned and touched the end of her nose. “Won’t be the first time,” he said.
“Race you to the bottom?” Hailey popped up to her
feet and slapped the snow off her pants.
“I’m too rusty to do any racing,” Dan groaned. “I’ll be lucky to get to the bottom in one piece.”
“Hey, I know a good snowboarding instructor. Could give you a few lessons,” Hailey said with a wink.
“She already has,” Dan said.
Then, together, they made their way down the hill. Toward Hartley Creek. Toward Natasha.
Toward home.
* * * * *
Dear Reader,
Dan was locked in the past even though, in his mind, he had moved on. He might have been able to push aside what had happened, but his guilt over his brother’s death colored everything and influenced every decision he had made. It wasn’t until he faced his past that he could be free from it.
I know there are times in my life that I think I can put something behind me and there are times I have to move on. But, as Hailey’s sister said in this story, sometimes you have to go back before you can go ahead. Sometimes you have to go back to hurts and guilt that have kept you away from someone and separated you from them before you can have a proper relationship. And sometimes you need to ask forgiveness for those hurts. I pray, if this is the case in your life, that you can learn that forgiveness is something God gives us freely, when we acknowledge what we have done.
Carolyne Aarsen
P.S. I love to hear from my readers. Send a note to [email protected]. Or visit my website at www.carolyneaarsen.com. Make sure to check out the latest news at the Hartley Creek Herald.
Questions for Discussion
Why do you think Dan was reluctant to have Hailey tutor his daughter?
What was your reaction to Natasha’s behavior? Why do you think she acted the way she did? How would you have dealt with her?
Hailey and Dan had a history that went back to high school. Have you had a high school sweetheart? Why do you think high school romances stay with us so long?
Why do you think Hailey wanted to leave Hartley Creek when she had family there?
Why did Dan take on the guilt he had over his brother?
Daddy Lessons Page 19
