by Imani King
Turning towards him, I raised an eyebrow and put my hands on my hips, waiting for him to speak. The same hesitant, unsure look flashed across his face for a split second. The expression made him look vulnerable and, though I didn’t want to admit it to myself, slightly adorable. This strong, powerful, handsome man was nervous with me. What was happening?
I closed my eyes and shook my head, attempting to rid myself of such thoughts.
“Well?” I said eventually, opening my eyes to glare at him. “I don’t have all day.”
“I know,” he said. “I just… I wanted to talk about what happened the other day.”
“Umm, I’d rather not.”
“I think we need to talk about it.”
“Look,” I began, “what happened the other night—it was the worst mistake of my life. I would like to pretend like it never happened. We can just go on like normal. Okay?”
For a briefest moment, Makarov’s entire face changed. He looked nearly crestfallen. I almost felt bad, but as quickly as it had appeared, the expression was gone—replaced by his usual confident grin.
“You didn’t seem to think it was such an awful experience at the time. In fact, the way you moaned and thrashed beneath me suggested something completely different.”
I sucked in a breath. Images of that night flashed across my mind, and I could feel my body responding. I was growing wet and could sense the fire building between my legs. I shook my head again, willing myself to forget it. Willing my traitorous body back under control.
I don’t want this, I reminded myself. I don’t want him!
“Look,” I said after I’d gained some composure, while trying to discuss that night with the most professional and detached wording possible. “We both know that the incident was a mistake. We don’t even like each other.” (Or do we? Oh, stop it, Michelle!) “And let’s not forget that you’re basically my boss. I will admit that in that moment, the feelings expressed and acts committed were mutual and consensual. But they were a mistake, and I would like to forget them. Don’t worry. I’m not going to sue for sexual harassment or anything.”
“I wasn’t worried about that,” he replied, still smiling. “I just… I realized I wasn’t wearing a condom. I wanted to make sure everything was taken care of—and assure you that I am clean.”
“Oh. Okay. Good,” I replied. “I got tested yesterday, but that takes a load off of my mind. If you’re sure.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” he answered. “I have great health insurance.”
I tried to bring myself to laugh at his lame joke, but I just couldn’t find any humor in the situation. There were too many emotions warring inside me at the moment. I thought about telling Makarov that everything wasn’t quite taken care of—that the Morning After Pill wouldn’t work on me and there was no way to know if I was pregnant for another two-three weeks. But that would be pointless. Even if I were pregnant, there was no way I would be keeping the child. Telling him would only complicate matters.
“And I am too,” I said instead. “Clean, I mean. I’d been tested since my last… time. Before the other night, that is.”
“Good then,” he replied. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Nope,” I agreed. “It will be like it never happened.”
“It never happened,” he repeated. The look in his eyes was now most definitely crestfallen.
“Then we’re done here,” I stated, moving towards the door, not sure what to think of his newfound vulnerability. “We never have to see each other again.” There was really no reason that I could think of that our paths might cross in the future.
“Except you’re still helping me review cases,” he replied, one eyebrow raised questioningly. “Surely you haven’t forgotten about it.”
“Surely you can’t think that’s still appropriate, after our indiscretion?”
“Thought we were pretending like it never happened?” he replied with a smirk. He had me there. If I were to refuse to continue helping him with his project, it could be seen as the opposite of pretending like nothing had happened.
“Fine,” I relented. “I’ll see you later this week.”
“Can’t wait,” he said with a wink as he opened the door and strode down the hall.
“Yeah. You’re totally not sleeping with Lex Makarov,” came the sniveling voice of Kyle from behind me.
I turned to see both Kyle and Julia sneering at me. Those two were the only other interns in the ER this year and they seemed to have both come to the conclusion that making my life a living hell was their main priority. I knew they were only jealous that I’d been chosen to help out in surgery, present a case at an M&M conference, and work closely on a special project with the CEO of the hospital—all within my first month at Miami General.
I wanted to tell them that none of those events had turned out as planned and I would gladly hand off my extra duties working for Makarov if I thought for a moment that would be allowed. Instead, I rolled my eyes and turned away from them, not dignifying Kyle’s statement with an answer.
I knew, however, that I would probably need to brace myself for the rumors they were sure to propagate about me.
CHAPTER 10
Nothing spreads as fast as gossip, and by the end of the week, half of the Emergency Room staff seemed to be under the impression that I really was in a relationship with Lex Makarov. No matter how many times I denied it, people continued to talk about it.
When a piece of equipment when haywire on Thursday afternoon, one of the nurses cursed as I tried to help her fix it.
“Can’t you get your fancy boyfriend to approve some new monitors?” she asked as she kicked the machine. “Something good has to come from sleeping with the CEO of the hospital. Surely you can talk him into replacing this piece of crap.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied icily, moving away from the machine.
“Sure you don’t,” she snapped as I walked out of the room.
If possible, things went even further downhill from there. I was unable to stop the hemorrhaging of a patient admitted after a car accident, resulting in an emergency surgery being performed right there in the ER.
It hadn’t been my fault—I was completely sure of that. No one would have been able to stop the flow of blood the patient was experiencing without surgery. Dr. Talbot, however, the attending who had been forced to perform the emergency surgery, saw things differently.
“God, what is wrong with you?” he demanded after the patient had been stabilized and sent to the OR. “You may have been able to sleep your way into this internship, but sexual favors can only get you so far. One more mess-up like this, and you’re done. I’ll make sure you never work in another hospital ever again.”
With that, he turned and stomped out of the exam room. For a long time I stood there, frozen in place. I had no idea what to do. It appeared that even the attendings were now under the impression that I had slept my way into this internship. At this point, no one seemed to believe that I had earned my place here, even though I’d made far fewer mistakes than Kyle or Julia combined since we’d started.
Taking a deep breath, I texted my friend Lori, a resident in the surgical department, asking if she would be available to get coffee anytime soon. Luckily, she was about to go on break and agreed to meet me in the cafeteria.
“Everyone in the Emergency Room seems to think I’m sleeping with Lex Makarov,” I announced as I collapsed onto the seat next to Lori. She raised an eyebrow as she pushed a coffee across the table towards me.
“What? Why?”
“Kyle and Julia are spreading rumors, I guess. They learned that I’ve been working with him on a special project, then he came to meet with me in the ER a few days ago. They just assumed that it had to be sex related—as if I’m not competent enough to actually be working with him. I don’t know why they hate me.”
“Because they’re envious over-privileged brats,” Lori replied. “But seriously, how did they convince the
entire staff of this?”
I wasn’t ready to tell Lori about my little indiscretion with Makarov. It’s not like anyone else was aware of it anyway. They were only going off of rumors. At this point it was all hearsay. “I’ve been working on that project for him, so I’ve had to meet with him regularly after hours. And then he made that visit to the ER on Tuesday. Nothing inappropriate happened at all. We just talked in an empty room for a minute—strictly professional. I don’t understand where all this is coming from.”
Lori was studying me closely as I spoke, a critical expression on her face.
“And nothing is going on between the two of you?” she asked when I was finished.
“What? No!” I insisted. “Not you too!”
“No. Obviously, you haven’t slept with him,” Lori said.
I tried to keep my face neutral at her assertion, not allowing the truth to show. I thought again about admitting my mistake to Lori, but I just couldn’t do it yet. I was still too ashamed, especially now that people thought it was how I’d landed my internship in the first place.
“I just mean,” she continued, “are there any sparks between the two of you? Sexual tension? Something casual observers might pick up on and misinterpret?”
“The guy is a pompous asshole,” I replied, not wanting to lie about our chemistry, but not wanting to admit to it either.
“Yes,” she agreed. “But he’s also young, and rich, and kind of hot when he isn’t glaring at everyone.”
“Why would I care that he’s rich? I’m going to make money of my own, if I make it through this damn residency. Plus, have you ever even seen him not glaring?” I asked.
“Well, no,” Lori replied. “But I imagine it could do wonders for his face. You have to admit that he is at least a little good looking.”
I didn’t agree or disagree. We were heading into uncomfortable territory so I tried to steer the conversation another way.
“People are starting to think I slept my way into the internship,” I told her.
“What? Who?” she demanded.
“Dr. Talbot accused me of it this morning,” I said.
“He accused you of sleeping your way into this internship?” she asked, angry on my behalf.
“Yeah. He was mad because I’d failed to stop a patient from bleeding out in the ER and he had to perform emergency surgery. He even threatened to have me fired. And it wasn’t my fault, I’m sure of it. No one would have been able to prevent what happened.”
“Even if it had been your fault,” Lori replied. “I’m pretty sure that’s harassment. You should complain. You could have him fired.”
I thought about that for a moment. I didn’t want to be seen as a tattletale and I didn’t really want Dr. Talbot to be fired. But I did want the gossip and harassment to end. Because Lori was right, this was harassment. Dr. Talbot had accused me of sexual misconduct, and he called my abilities into question. He’d used rumors as a means to threaten me, but even if I had been seeing Makarov, his comment would have been out of line.
“I’ll talk to Grimes about it,” I promised Lori.
I left my lunch break with Lori a little early and headed to the office of Dr. Viola Grimes, the ER Residency Program Director.
“Michelle,” she greeted me with a smile as I entered her office.
“Hello, Dr. Grimes,” I replied. “Do you have a moment to talk?”
“Of course, what’s going on?” she asked once I was seated.
“Do you remember that rumor that was going around?” I began. “The one about me sleeping with Makarov?”
Dr. Grimes nodded.
“Well, I think it may have gotten out of hand,” I replied.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Today, I had trouble preventing a hemorrhage in the ER—which wasn’t my fault, I don’t think anyone could have stopped it. Anyway, Dr. Talbot was angry because he had to perform an emergency surgery, right here in the ER. Afterwards, he insinuated that I’d only received this internship because I was sleeping with Makarov, which is crazy since I didn’t even meet him until weeks after I started here. And we aren’t together,” I added hastily. “But Dr. Talbot threatened to have me fired if I messed up again.”
She was silent for a long time, a serious look on her face.
“Well,” she began after a while, “first of all, Dr. Talbot cannot have you fired. That is outside of his jurisdiction. And second, you are correct, what he said was inappropriate. Even if you were in a relationship with Lex, Talbot would have been out of line. You were hired by a large committee of doctors, who offered you this internship spot due to your remarkable qualifications. You have every right to be upset, and I suggest that you speak to the department chief about this. I will be more than happy to back you up.”
I nodded, a little bit dazed. Her response was far better than anything I was expecting or could have hoped for.
“I will do that,” I assured her, standing. “Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. But I better get back to work, my break is almost over.”
She stood and smiled.
“If there is anything else I can do for you, Michelle, please let me know. We are really happy with you here, and I want to make sure that you’re happy as well.”
“Thanks,” I said again as I left her office, feeling more confident than I had in a very long time.
CHAPTER 11
After my conversation with Dr. Grimes, and a similar conversation with the Chief of the Emergency Medicine Department, working conditions in the ER began to improve drastically. A memo was sent out, reminding employees that one’s personal life was personal and inappropriate to bring up in the work place.
I was pretty sure that Dr. Talbot also received a reprimand. He never apologized to me for what he had said, but he hadn’t repeated any similar sentiments. In fact, he had since avoided me like the plague, and when we were forced to interact, he went out of his way to be professional and detached. I was okay with that, even though the guy was grumpier than normal and taking it out on everyone else around him—other than me.
Between the crackdown from department chief and cessation of any further surprise ER visits from Lex Makarov, gossip about my personal life slowly died down—at least in my presence. Perhaps Julia and Kyle had been informed of Dr. Talbot’s reprimand and were scared of facing admonishment of their own, because even my fellow interns had given up their snide remarks and criticisms of me.
The best part of my entire week, however, was that at the end of the week I realized that I had not been summoned by Makarov as promised. In fact, I hadn’t seen the man in over a week. I’d finished the last of the old case files, which I delivered to Makarov’s secretary while avoiding him personally. I was expecting to be called into his office to discuss my reports, but it never happened. Not that I was upset about that fact.
Or at least I wasn’t admitting to myself that I was upset. Only late at night, as I lay alone in bed, did I lament the absence of those steely eyes and knowing smile. Most of the time, I reminded myself that I was thankful to be rid of the smug bastard and threw myself into each Emergency Room shift with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.
All in all, the following days went smoothly—at least compared to the month prior. The only dark spot on my otherwise smooth week was the lingering possibility of pregnancy. I tried to push this worry out of my head, as there wasn’t anything I could do about it at this point except wait and see. But the possibility that I might be pregnant—with Makarov’s baby—still followed me around everywhere I went, casting a shadow on everything else I did.
I should have known the peace couldn’t last, however. I was finishing up my shift on Sunday night when I was finally summoned to Makarov’s office.
My stomach sunk—both from fear and from anticipation. I’d reviewed all of the case files he’d asked me to almost a week ago—if he’d wanted to go over them, he would have met with me before now. But there was really no other reason why he c
ould possibly need to see me today. Despite this, I also couldn’t refuse to meet with him, so, although I was dreading the experience, I made my way to the twelfth floor.
“Dr. Carter, hello,” Makarov said, standing as I entered the office. His normally cold eyes were warm, and his expression was soft. I was a little taken aback by his sincere greeting and seemingly genuine smile.
“Hi, Mr. Makarov,” I said after a moment of confusion.
“Please, we’ve been working together for over a month,” he replied as he returned to his seat. “You can call me Lex.” I didn’t know how to respond, as I’d never seen the man act this way. It was like he was a completely different person. Even his tiny hint of a Russian accent seemed stronger today, with him being what appeared to be a little nervous.
“Okay,” I answered. “Then you should call me Michelle.”
“Michelle,” he repeated, still smiling warmly.
“Lex,” I answered, slightly sarcastically. I didn’t want to start another fight with him, but I wasn’t sure how to take his apparent personality upgrade.
He raised his eyebrows, the familiar smirk almost returning to his lips.
“Anyway,” Lex continued, “how was your week?”
“Um… good,” I replied, slightly taken aback. He had never asked after my week or day before. “It’s actually been one of the smoothest weeks since I’ve been here.”
“Well, that’s nice. Probably has something to do with not having had to work with me at all.” Something sad passed through his eyes as he said this, but it quickly disappeared. “Unfortunately, I have another case I need you to review. I hope it doesn’t put too much of a damper on things.”
“I thought I’d read through all of your files,” I responded, confused by the slight tingle of excitement I felt at the opportunity to work with Makarov… Lex… again.
“Sadly, there was another death this week that needs to be examined. I hope you don’t mind,” he said as he handed over a file.
