by Imani King
“We can talk about that later,” I said after a moment. “But for now, I need to get going. I have a shift starting in a few minutes and I need to change.”
“Of course,” Lex replied, though he was looking at me closely. It was eerie how well Lex knew me already, how easily he could see my hesitation. “I’ll see you later.”
“Bye,” I said with a reassuring smile as I turned and walked towards the door.
Don’t freak out about this, I told myself as I made my way downstairs to the Emergency Department locker room to change. It’s not a big deal. No one is going to care.
Somehow, though, I knew I was lying to myself.
CHAPTER 18
I was able to put all of these new anxieties aside for a few days, however, as I had agreed to a mini-vacation with Lex in the Keys. His private jet was located at a small airport only twenty minutes from his house, and from there, the flight was short and comfortable. Reclining in the plush seats of the lavish aircraft, we sipped champagne and discussed what we would do in Key West. I’d never visited, so I allowed Lex to make all of the plans, happy to just relax and enjoy the time away from the real world and all of my worries.
There was a limousine waiting for us at the tiny airport, which took us to a small but lavish hotel. The room was huge, with pale blue walls and sheer drapes. There was a king-sized bed in the middle of the room and floor-length windows overlooking the harbor. It was late by the time we checked in, so all I could see were tiny balls of light indicating yachts in the harbor as I peered out the window.
“The view will be amazing tomorrow,” Lex whispered in my year as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, gazing out onto the bay.
“It’s amazing even now,” I replied. “In the dark.”
We were both tired, having worked full shifts earlier that day, so we ended up passing out soon after we had settled in and ordered room service.
“I promise to make it up to you in the morning,” Lex mumbled into my shoulder before quickly drifting off. I soon followed suit, lulled to sleep by the comforting warmth of his breath of against my neck.
I woke up the following morning with the sun shining brightly through the windows and Lex’s warm body wrapped around mine. I smiled in satisfaction, realizing I didn’t need to be up for work. However, the noises outside kept me from easily falling back to sleep. I shifted beneath Lex until he was grumbling awake, even less of a morning person on vacation than he was at home.
After allowing Lex to make up for the previous night in the shower that morning—I liked to think that shower sex had become “our thing”—we relaxed over bagels and coffee at a small café across from our hotel. We then strolled around the beach, watching the sunbathers and boats. I’d been living in Miami for a few weeks now, but my internship at the hospital kept me from really having a chance to enjoy it. Here in Key West, it was easier to stop and smell the roses—or in this instance, the ocean.
“Key West is beautiful,” I said as we watched the herons and egrets. “But do you think we’ll have time to actually sunbathe? I’ve always wanted to but never had the time, since I’ve moved to Florida.”
“Of course,” Lex assured me, “We’ll make that happen today!”
And we did, for a few lazy hours, until I couldn’t stand the sun any longer, and Lex got almost burned—but he patiently waited till it was me who suggested that we go back.
He insisted on ducking into every little boutique that caught my eye and refused to let me pay for anything. I tried to argue, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, purchasing anything I seemed to show even the slightest interest in.
That evening, Lex made a reservation at an upscale restaurant where we could watch the sunset. We arrived early to walk around the beach. A few minutes later, we were seated at an outside table, with an unobstructed view of the ocean.
“Thank you so much for this,” I replied after we placed our order. “This trip has been so lovely.”
“Very lovely,” Lex agreed, though his voice had a weird timber to it. I realized he was gazing at me, not the view of the ocean. I couldn’t help but blush under his heated look.
“Cheesy,” I replied, trying to break the tension. I had never been good at romance or mushy things. I was a girl of science, after all. But, despite everything, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
“So,” Lex began as the salads arrived. “I did want to talk to you about something.”
“And what that might that be? Not the pregnancy, right? We won’t know till next week,” I said, hoping he won’t bring the big “P” word.
“No, don’t worry, it’s not that. I couldn’t help but notice that you had a slight… reaction when I warned you about the inevitable rumors earlier this week.”
“Oh… yeah,” I replied, growing serious. “Sorry. It just seems a little early to worry about that, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know. Every time I dated someone before, it seemed the whole city knew about it. And people at the hospital are the worst. I once dated a nurse; she claimed I was the reason she had to quit her job and was forced to find another position,” Lex admitted. “She’s a bad example, because I think she facilitated some of the rumors herself. She was dating me for my money, I soon realized.”
I smiled. I definitely wasn’t “after” Lex because of his wealth, and I was pretty sure he knew that—and respected me all the more for it. I liked his confidence, so much at odds to mine. Even though I was ambitious and self-reliant, at times my apprehensiveness and uncertainty overwhelmed me. His confidence in me, in particular, was almost soothing. I’d never gotten that feeling from my parents. Plus, I liked that he admired my intelligence. I didn’t need to hide it from him, or be ashamed of my determination.
That he was now trying to protect me from what was inevitably going to happen, was classic Lex. I shouldn’t have been surprised that the man who spends his free time going over old cases of possible patient mistreatment would want to make sure that he handled even a personal relationship in the most professional way possible.
“I’m only looking out for you,” he continued. “Just try not to think about it when it happens. People can be cruel sometimes, and I’d hate to see you suffer from their malicious attitude.”
I nodded, and we let the subject drop as our food arrived. After enjoying the most divine lobster bisque that I’d ever tasted, we took a long stroll along the beach. We seemed to walk forever, happy in our silence, and I couldn’t help but pause as I gazed out at the setting sun.
“I’ve seen the sun set over Lake Michigan in Chicago from a boat cruise,” I told Lex, who was huddled up next to me, trying to brace himself against the chilly ocean wind. “It’s nothing like this. The ocean is so immense — so breathtaking.”
Turning to take in Lex’s reaction, I realized that—much like in the restaurant—he wasn’t looking out at the sunset at all, but at me. I moved towards him, and he pushed an errant curl behind my ear.
“You,” he whispered over the wind, “are breathtaking.”
I wanted to protest the sheer corniness of the comment—of the entire moment, on the beach in Key West, watching the sun as it set. But I just couldn’t. Instead, I shivered—and not from the brisk ocean breeze. Lex obviously thought I was chilly, however, as he took off his light jacket and draped it across my shoulders.
Reaching up, I ran my fingers across the side of his face, gazing into his pale grey eyes as the wind whipped through our hair.
“You are too,” I replied before I could stop myself.
Leaning forward, I kissed him: in the middle of the beach, with the sun setting behind us—like something out of a movie. It’s probably the most clichéd thing I’ve ever done, but it felt so right in the moment. Pulling back slightly, I smiled at him.
“I’m not scared of stupid gossip,” I whispered. “Let them talk, see if I care.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yep. I let them frazzle me the last ti
me the rumors circulated about us. But now—I don’t care. It’s my life, no one can claim I’m some kind of a gold-digger since I’m a doctor, and, damn it, if they go too far, I can stand up for myself.” I still wasn’t sure I was ready for the barrage of rumors that would most certainly overwhelm me when we got back, but forcing myself to think that I couldn’t care less helped me calm down about the subject.
“That’s what I lo—,” he stopped, for a split second, “like about you so much. You’re gorgeous, and audacious, and you have a beautiful mind.” He sucked in a breath. “Damn it, I’ll just say it now. I love you, Michelle Carter.”
Without even letting me respond, he leaned in and pressed his mouth to mine again. I could feel him smiling against my lips. Allowing myself to forget about everything that had happened over the last few weeks and what would happen when we got back to the real world, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled Lex closer as we kissed against the setting sun.
That he was confident enough not to hold his breath and wait for me to respond, made me only love him more. Yes, damn it, I loved Lex Makarov. I knew that now, for sure.
CHAPTER 19
I spent the night following our return to Miami at my own apartment, needing a little space to clear my head after the whirlwind romance that was our trip to the Keys. The next morning, I took the bus to work early, wanting to stop in Lex’s office before my shift. I still didn’t say “I love you” back, and knew I wanted him to hear me say it. But for some reason, I was afraid of saying it aloud.
The nervous ball in the pit of my stomach relaxed slightly when Lex smiled at me. He was dressed impeccably as always, in a bespoke suit and a pale grey tie that matched his eyes.
I can do this, I told myself.
“Morning, Michelle,” he said, an all-too-familiar smile spreading across his face.
“You almost sound like you missed me,” I smiled back.
“What if I did?” He walked around his desk and perched on the edge, close to my chair. “You seem nervous about something,” he said, before reaching up to cup my chin.
Leaning forward, he pressed his mouth against mine. I wanted to pull back, arguing that the door to his office was open and this wasn’t appropriate. But the feel of his lips on my own was causing my head to grow foggy, and any reservations I had soon flew out the window.
Pulling back finally, Lex had a self-satisfied grin on his face. My courage left me, and I wasn’t sure anymore that confessing my love this early in the morning was the right move.
“I… I missed you too,” I finally managed. “But I should go, I just wanted to say hi.”
“Better hurry,” he teased. “Don’t want to be late for your shift. Just because you’re dating the big boss doesn’t give you leave to be tardy.”
“I hate you,” I growled playfully as I rose from my chair.
“No you don’t,” he called after me as I made my way to the door.
“No,” I agreed quietly to myself. “I really don’t.”
My morning went smoothly, and I almost ceased feeling anxious over the subject of hospital staff knowing about our relationship. I was just starting to calm down when I turned a corner and came face to face with Kyle’s malicious grin.
“So,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. “Still not dating Lex Makarov, huh?”
“I wasn’t dating him back when you first claimed I did,” I replied succinctly and honestly.
“Sure,” he retorted, shaking his head. “Everything must be so easy for you. You get to help out in surgery, you get handed special jobs—all you had to do was sleep with the boss.”
“You know,” came the sound of Julia’s voice as she strode up from behind me, “Dr. Talbot seems to think that Makarov is the only reason you were hired in the first place.”
“You both know that’s not true,” I stated through gritted teeth. “I didn’t even meet Lex until a few weeks after I started my internship. And we’ve only been dating for a week or so.”
“Lex,” Julia sneered at my intimate reference to the hospital’s CEO.
“Keep telling people that,” Kyle replied to me. “But no one who saw you two together is going to believe it.
“Thankfully,” I said. “I don’t care what anyone believes.”
With that, I turned and marched down the hallway. It definitely stung, being accused of garnering favors from the CEO. I had worked hard to achieve a good reputation, and now it was being torn down simply because of who I chose to date.
I gritted my teeth for the next hour and a half, counting down to my break. I had texted Lori—the first time since I’d walked out on our coffee break the week before—and she agreed to meet me for lunch.
“Look who finally decided to get her head out of her ass,” Lori said, sitting next to me in the cafeteria. Lori was smiling, and I knew she was only ribbing me good-naturedly, but I was already in a funk and didn’t take it well.
“It’s good to see you too,” I said, a little more sharply than I meant to.
“I’m not the one who’s been MIA for the last week and a half.”
“Sorry,” I replied. “I was having a rough time and then…”
“Then…?”
“Let’s just say I got distracted,” I said.
“What do you mean?” Lori asked, her eyes lighting up. “Is the gossip true? Are you and Lex Makarov really dating?” My look must have confirmed her suspicion, for she continued. “I knew it. I told you, didn’t I? I knew you had a thing for Makarov. Besides, I didn’t even need to hear it from you. Look at this,” she thrust her phone at me, the browser window set on a Miami gossip page, the tagline “The Russian Oligarch is dating a plus size model” splattered across the top in huge letters, with the photo of us leaving his jet when we landed back in Miami.
I knew Lori didn’t mean any harm with what she was saying—it was all meant to be taken in good fun. But, after my run-in with the other interns, I was in no mood for teasing, good-natured or not.
“Seriously?” I snapped. “You’re going to do this too? At least you could’ve found a page that didn’t describe me as a plus-size model!”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Lori answered defensively. “And I don’t know why you have such an attitude right now. You’re the one who’s dating the handsome super wealthy boss. Things must really suck for you.”
“I’m suddenly not hungry anymore,” I said, standing up and walking from the room. This marked the second time I’d walked out on Lori in the last week and a half, but I couldn’t bring myself to stay and make things better between us. Not today.
I spent the rest of my break in the employee restroom, fighting back tears. Lori was the only friend I’d made since moving to Florida, and I didn’t want to lose her. But I also couldn’t believe she’d made that comment about me dating my super wealthy boss. As if money or career opportunities were the reason I was dating Lex. Why would people think that? I knew the answer, of course, but I still felt enraged that people would lump me together with all the previous girls Lex had dated.
I had been worried about people finding out about our relationship, and now those worries were validated. While Lex was upstairs, working away without a care in the world, I was the one down here making all the sacrifices for our relationship—listening as people questioned both my ethics and my credibility.
You knew that was always the way it would turn out, I reminded myself angrily. I was the one expected to sacrifice my job, or my goals, or myself, while whomever I was dating wouldn’t have to sacrifice anything at all.
“That isn’t going to happen,” I said aloud, moving towards the elevator. “Not this time!”
Without really considering where I was heading, I found myself on the twelfth floor. Lex’s secretary clearly knew about us already, because I was allowed into his office without a second guess. She probably eavesdropped on our conversations, I figured.
“Michelle,” Lex said, looking up from his paperwork in sur
prise. “What are you doing here?”
“I can’t do it,” I replied.
The smile slid from Lex’s face, quickly replaced by confusion.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“The entire hospital is gossiping about me,” I snapped. “Everyone thinks I slept my way into this internship.”
“Michelle, that’s ridiculous. No one thinks that,” Lex said dismissively. “You’re overreacting.”
“I am not. People have seriously said that—to my face. And today wasn’t the first time. Plus, the gossip pages have somehow snapped a photo of us getting off your plane, and now I’m labeled a plus-size model.” Lex’s face morphed into an angry glare at that information. “And this… ” I motioned between the two of us. “This isn’t worth sacrificing my career over. I’m done sacrificing for other people. Done!”
“Michelle,” Lex replied, “you’re being ridiculous; this isn’t my fault.”
“Maybe not,” I answered. “But I don’t know what else to do. I’m sorry.”
Without letting Lex answer, I turned on my heels and walked out of his office. He called after me, but I didn’t turn around. Instead, I walked towards the elevators with my eyes in front of me, tears running down my face.
CHAPTER 20
The rest of my day passed in a blur. I could barely focus on what was in front of me, which was not a great state to be in for an Emergency Room intern. Luckily, I got through the rest of my shift without an incident, later followed by a sleepless night tossing and turning alone in my bed. Did I really just do this? After admitting to myself that I was in love with Lex, did I really just break up with him?
I was changing into my scrubs in the locker room the following morning when I was cornered by Dr. Grimes.
“So,” she said with a huge smile. “You and Lex. I’m not surprised.”
“Not anymore,” I told her, refusing to meet her eyes. “It’s over.”
