by Jane Jamison
Finding him, however, turned out to be difficult. Each time she asked another boy or a staff member if they’d seen Curt, she got a negative answer. And with each answer, the knot in her stomach grew even bigger.
Please, Curt. Don’t go there.
After several attempts to locate him, she hurried to her closet-sized office to grab her purse and her red slicker. Her hand hovered over the slicker. Rain wasn’t in the forecast so she was taking a chance by wearing the bright red coat. Yet on the other hand, she had to have something to hide her face.
Unless Wiley and Brody see me again. They won’t need to see my face to know it’s me.
The intelligent thing to do was to stay out of it. She’d started out following Curt to gain information about where he took off to. Once she’d found out, she’d made the split-second decision to keep his secret. At least until she could figure out what to do about it without getting the rebellious youth into more trouble.
Had she already gone too far? Was it too late to stand back and let things happen? And if she did that, would she be just as responsible, albeit indirectly, as he was? She was already involved, but at least by following him she had a chance to catch him first and change his mind. That, or to help anyone who might be harmed by his actions.
She made the decision she’d known she would ultimately make and snatched her slicker off the coat rack. No one had been there for her when she was younger and she was determined to be there for Curt. Making sure that no one, especially Elbert, saw her leave, she darted out the side door and into the employee parking lot.
* * * *
“Shit. There she is.” Brody slammed his hand on top of the steering wheel. “For once I wish I was wrong.”
Wiley let out a curse. “For once? Bro, you’ve been wrong lots of times. Still, I have to agree. Why the hell couldn’t you have gotten this one wrong?”
Michelle slipped out the side door of Hope House and rushed to her car. She slid behind the wheel, glanced around her, then pulled the behemoth of an automobile out of the parking lot and onto the street.
“She’s got that same slicker on.”
“Yeah. It’s too dry to wear that thing so you know why she’s doing it.”
“She wants something to keep her face hidden should anyone see her.”
“You mean, should anyone else see her.”
“Yeah. Damn it.”
Brody kept his eye on her from his rearview mirror.
“You’re losing her, bro.”
Brody threw the Jeep into reverse, backed up, then whipped it around to point it in the direction she’d gone. “Take it easy. That tank of hers doesn’t go that fast. Besides, I’m pretty sure I know where she’s going.”
“To the housing editions around Elm and Fifth?”
“Yeah. Something tells me another abandoned house is going to go up in flames.”
Once again, he hoped he was wrong. He’d give everything he owned to make that true. Yet, at the same time, he’d have bet everything he owned that he wasn’t.
Chapter Four
Michelle couldn’t take a big enough breath as she pulled her car alongside the curb at the end of the street. The skeleton of the burned house sat to her left, but that’s not where she focused her attention. Instead, she scanned the neighborhood, studying one house after another. Only one of the six houses on the block was still occupied. Even then, she was willing to bet that the remaining family was gone either to work and school, or out hunting for another job, another neighborhood, or even another city to live in.
It was a shame. She could remember when the neighborhood was filled with happy families and lots of activities. Now it was a ghost of what it had been. The only thing she could hope for was that one day the place would get revitalized. Until then, she had to help keep the houses standing.
Where are you, Curt?
What if he’d decided on a different neighborhood? She hated to think she’d miss a chance to stop him. Could she talk him out of doing it? Or was that nothing more than wishful thinking?
No. Wishful thinking would be letting herself think he’d given it up.
She waited a few more minutes, and just as she was beginning to think that wishes could come true, she saw him. He peeked in the window of the house to her left, the used-to-be-pretty Cape Cod style home with flower boxes that hadn’t seen colorful buds in over a year. Keeping low, he disappeared around the side of the house toward the backyard.
“Damn it, Curt. I’m not going to let you do this again.”
She was out of the car and moving before thinking how she planned to stop him. By the time she’d made it to the back of the house, he was already inside. The back door was pushed open and she could hear him moving around the kitchen.
She slipped in, then turned right, going straight into the kitchen. The image of a mother and father bustling around the open area, making sandwiches for their kids sitting at a large family-style table hit her. Melancholy struck, making the knot in her stomach twist again.
“Curt.”
He jerked upward from his crouched position, his mouth open, his eyes wide. “Miss Michelle?” His gaze jumped to the gas can beside him, then back to her. “What are you doing here?”
She moved closer, but not so close as to spook him into running. “I’m here to stop you.”
He started toward the door, to go around her, but she blocked his way. Anger flashed across his face.
“Get out of my way.”
“No. I can’t and I won’t. Not until we come to an understanding.”
He frowned, thrown by her stance. “I don’t get it.”
“I know you set those other fires.”
Anger combined with a flash of alarm, then morphed into a determined denial. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Really? Then what’s the gas can for? Did you run out of gas? Funny thing. I don’t recall you owning a car. Or even having a drivers’ license.”
His face darkened. “Just leave me alone and butt the fuck out.”
“I can’t do that, Curt.”
“Let me go.” He tried to get past her, but again she blocked his way.
He wouldn’t hurt her by shoving her out of the way. At least she hoped he wouldn’t. “Do you know why I can’t do that?”
He clamped his mouth shut, the muscle in his jaw working as he gritted his teeth.
“I can’t do that because I care about you.”
He laughed, the sound harsh and cutting. His disbelief cut her to the bone. After all the time she’d spent trying to help him, how could he doubt her? And yet, the adults in his past had always let him down, so why should he trust her?
“Are you going to turn me in?”
“No.”
“Why not? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?”
“You’re right. I should. As an employee of Hope House and as a good citizen, I should. But I’m not going to.” She dared to take a step closer. “It’s wrong not to report you, but I’m willing to make that choice. But only if you promise me you’ll stop this and get the help you need.”
“I don’t need any help.”
“Yes, Curt, you do. Do you think setting fires to abandoned homes is a good thing? That’s it’s a normal thing to do?”
“You promise you’re not going to turn me in?”
“If I did, I’d have to turn myself in for knowing about you and not calling the authorities. I don’t know if that’s being an accomplice or what, but I do know it’s wrong.”
Curt dropped his gaze as he so often did. “Okay. I’ll stop.”
She wished it were that easy. That all he had to do was make a promise and she could trust him to keep it. But life was never that black and white. Still, she’d have to let him prove he was telling the truth.
“That’s great. And I expect you to keep your promise. But I need more than you saying you will. I need to see you take the steps. I have to see action and not just hear the words.”
“I’m telling you the truth.” His upper lip curled into a snarl. “I can’t do anything else.”
“Yes you can. You can talk to a friend of mine. He helps young people like you get over their…compulsions.”
“So you think I’m crazy, too?”
“No. And I’m sorry you’ve been told that before. There are a lot of good foster parents out there, but I know there are a lot of bad ones, too. No, Curt, you’re not crazy. But you do need help and I’m going to make sure you get that help before what you’re doing ruins your life.”
“You really don’t think I’m nuts?”
“Of course not.” She smiled, trying to put as much comfort into that gesture as she could. “Okay. Maybe a little. But not half as crazy as I am.”
Her joke earned her a roll of his eyes that she knew was as close to a chuckle as he’d give her. That teenage gesture made all her effort and hard work worth it. “So you’ll do it? You’ll talk to my friend.”
He narrowed his eyes, judging her. “And you swear you won’t tell anyone?”
“I won’t. Not if you keep your word. Have we got a deal?”
She’d expected him to nod, bluffing to get out of the situation. When he lunged at her, she was caught off-guard and let out a small yelp.
His arms wrapped around her and squeezed before she realized what was really going on. She froze, then slowly as her mind accepted it, she put her arms around him and hugged him back. Tears sprang to her eyes as he tightened his hold on her. She could almost see the hard exterior he’d built around himself start to crumble.
She would’ve died standing there holding him before she’d have turned him loose first. When he finally broke free from her, he stepped away and put his back to her. But not before she saw him wipe away a tear.
“Give me the gas can and I’ll put it in my car.”
He gave her the can, then shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out a box of matches. “You might as well take these.”
She gave him another smile. “How did you get the can and gas anyway?”
He acted like he was reluctant to tell her, so she backed off. What did it matter now that he’d promised to stop? “Never mind. Come on. I’ll give you a ride home.”
“Naw. I’ll walk. I need time to think.”
She resisted the urge to demand that he come with her. But since she’d gotten farther with him than she’d thought she would, she decided to take the victory while she could. “Fine. But don’t be too long. We’re having fish sticks and tater tots tonight.”
He scrunched up his nose. “I hate fish sticks.”
She laughed and hefted the heavy can to her other hand. The can was full, and had he splashed it around the house, it would’ve gone up in no time. “Yeah, I know.” She scrunched up her nose. “Me, too. But the tater tots are good.”
She was rewarded with the only smile she’d ever gotten from him. The only one she’d ever seen him do. It wasn’t much and might have even been overlooked by anyone else, but it was as bright as a comet in a pitch-black sky to her.
They walked out together, going out the back door. She waited as he scampered across the yard, then hopped the rotting fence that ran between the yard and the next street and was gone.
Satisfied and happier than she’d been since discovering that Curt had a problem setting fires, she skirted around the house and headed toward her car. She was humming a happy tune when the voice that sounded like dark chocolate spread on black silk brought her to a stop.
“What are you carrying, Michelle?”
Brody.
Brody and Wiley stood on the front lawn, their arms crossed, their feet planted like two statues that were anything but cold and stone-like. Except their faces. Their expressions held no warmth, not even Wiley’s.
She wanted to throw the can down and claim she didn’t know what it was. That, of course, was a ridiculous idea, but that hadn’t kept it from crossing her mind. Instead, she started walking again, trying to get past them as Curt had tried to get past her.
Wiley took her arm, bringing her around to face him. “Please tell me that’s not what I think it is. And that you didn’t do what I think you did.”
She hated his scowl. With a grin like his, he should never scowl. “Sure. Let’s pretend it’s a shopping bag and I’ve just come out of the mall. See you later, okay?”
Yet he didn’t let her budge. She closed her eyes, readied herself for their accusations, then opened them, prepared to go to the mat to keep from telling on Curt. No matter what it cost her. Curt would keep his promise and she’d keep hers.
With all that running through her mind, she was astonished to find that she was so turned on by his touch, by their mere presence that she wanted to beg them to forget what they’d seen, and instead, take her back inside the house and have their way with her.
Have their way with me. That sounds so old-fashioned. Hell, I don’t care how it’s said. I want them to fuck my brains out.
The tension, a dual kind of sensation that used the unease of their anger along with her undeniable attraction to them, warped together and made her feel weak in the knees.
“Michelle.”
Damn, but she loved the way her name sounded on Wiley’s lips. “Here. See for yourself. It’s full. My, um, car ran out of gas.”
Wiley took the can from her. then gave Brody a quick nod. “It’s full, all right.”
“And where’d you find a can filled with gas in this neighborhood?”
She didn’t have an answer since she couldn’t tell them the truth. “What does it matter? Now that you know I didn’t go throwing it around inside a house, can I have my can back? I need to get going.”
When Wiley didn’t hand it back to her, she reached out and took it, never minding that she had to tug to get him to let go.
“Is it you, Michelle?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Are you the fire bug we’re looking for?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She stormed past them, knowing if she didn’t leave then, she’d end up spilling the secret.
They came after her, tailing her until she’d made it to her car. She yanked the trunk open and put the can inside, then slammed it shut, and pulled open the driver’s side door.
“I thought your car was out of gas.”
Damn, Brody. Back off.
She whirled around, ready to tell him to do that when he shoved her up against the car. Her heart skipped a beat as he leaned in, getting as close as he had in the station’s break room. Closer even.
“Tell us the truth, Michelle. Let us help you.”
She saw it in his eyes. He meant what he said. But she had Curt to think of. “Do you really want to help me?”
“Sure I do.”
“Then back off.” Yet even as she said the words, she wanted nothing more than to pull him against her. All at once, she couldn’t stand it. She had to do what her body and her heart demanded.
Taking him by his black T-shirt, she brought his mouth to hers. At first he stiffened and she wasn’t sure if he’d kiss her back. Yet when he did, he intensified the kiss so much that a sliver of fear rushed into her.
He devoured her lips, nipping at her lower lip, then sweeping his tongue into her mouth. She moaned and tightened her hold on him.
His body molded to her, the hardness of it driving forbidden thoughts to the surface. She wanted him so much it hurt. Turning his shirt loose, she slipped her arms under his and clung to him like a life preserver that had suddenly appeared in the middle of the ocean. He hadn’t moved his hands, still keeping them pressed to the hood of her car, but she wouldn’t let that last for long.
She thrust her hips forward, telling him how much she wanted him, how far she wanted him to take her. At last, his hand found its way to her breast, then the other one slid to her butt cheek. The spark of lust that had already started between them burst into a spear of fire that pierced its way through her.
“Brody.”
She’d almost forgotten that Wiley was there. As Brody put his lips to her shoulder, pushing aside the collar of the plain white blouse she wore, she looked to Wiley, then stretched out her hand.
I told Curt I was crazy. And now I know it’s true.
She almost laughed at the thought. She had gone insane. That had to be the reason. Nothing else made sense. And yet insanity had never felt so good.
Wiley came to her, grabbed Brody by the shoulder, and yanked him back.
“Hey!”
Yet instead of kissing her as she’d hoped, he grabbed her and whipped her around. He snagged her by the wrists, then flattened her hands against the top of the car.
“Wiley, I don’t—”
His breath was hot against the back of her ear. “No. You don’t. I’ve ached to touch you from the first moment I saw you. This is happening unless you really don’t want it to. Say so now, baby, while you have the chance. Do you want us to stop?”
The word was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t force the yes from her lips. Instead, her real answer slipped through. “No. Don’t stop.”
He groaned, the relief and craving evident in the sound. “Then listen to me. We say what goes. Is that understood?”
Her arms shook. Not out of fear, but from excitement. They were forceful men who would have it their way. She’d dreamed of men who would take control, who would tell her exactly what they wanted from her and then take it. Had the men of her dreams finally come?
Brody came to her side and pulled her hair over her shoulders. “I’ve got to hear it again. It’s like Wiley said. Tell us now if you don’t want this. If you don’t, then it’s going down the way we want it to. Here and now. Out in the open.”
She should tell them to back off, to leave her alone. Having them do whatever they wanted to her was a danger in itself, but to have them do it in the open? That was real insanity. But it was also pure heaven. She kept her mouth closed, letting her silence be her answer.
“Holy shit.” Wiley took hold of her skirt and shoved it higher. His hand slid around her thigh and came to rest on the silk material covering her mons. “I had a feeling you’d have on silkies.”
