“I can have Taylor try to talk to her—”
“I think Taylor has done enough.”
He blanched but nodded. “It’s a lame excuse, but she never meant to hurt you.”
“And now everyone I know is going to find out just how ridiculous I am.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “I did all this to try to prove I wasn’t a loser. Now I’m going to come out looking even worse.”
“Forget about your classmates and what they think. They don’t matter.” He ran his hands up and down her arms, comforting with his words and caresses. “I know it seems bad now, but it will all be fine. Trust me.”
She pulled back and glared. “You don’t get it, do you?”
“You’re embarrassed. I do get it. But I also know you can get past this.”
“I should just get over it, right? Laugh it off like it’s no big deal everyone will be laughing at me behind my back.” She let out a short, humorless laugh of her own. “Behind my back? They won’t even bother with that. They’ll do it to my face.”
“It sucks, and I’m sorry.” He reached for her, but she took another step back. Sighing, he ran a hand over his head, messing up the hair she knew he’d let grow longer than usual in the chaos of the past few months of work. “But it’ll be okay. You’ll show them.”
“Show them what? That I’m desperate. That I really am crazy.” Tears burned in her eyes again, threatening to fall. “Greg is just going to have more fuel for the ‘Haleigh is crazy’ fire.”
“Who cares what he thinks?” Ian shook his head. “The guy is a prick.”
She couldn’t argue with that logic. Greg really was a prick. If only the rest of their classmates had caught on to that fact.
“Then there’s Nina—”
“Isn’t she your friend? Be honest with her. Tell her she either has your back or she doesn’t. It’s not that complicated.”
He made another excellent point. Even as her brain heard and registered everything he said, her heart—or at least the panic monster that lived inside it—couldn’t accept any of it.
“Do you understand what it’s like walking into a room and having everyone think you’re pathetic?”
“I don’t. But I know what it’s like to have a father who thinks I am.”
That remark gave her pause. For the first time, his distance the past few days started to make sense. She’d known something had happened the other night. She just hadn’t realized the full extent. And her heart ached for him. “Your father?”
Shaking his head, he folded his arms across his chest. “Forget I said anything.”
“Did something happen with your father?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” The set of his jaw told her he wasn’t going to budge on the subject.
Even knowing that, she couldn’t let it go. If they were going to have a relationship, they had to be able to talk about these things. “You’re saying there are things that are off topic for us to discuss? And they just happen to be anything involving your life.”
“That’s not true.”
“It’s just your work plans and your family. What else is there?”
“I tell you about my work.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell me my story would be plastered all over screens at your launch.”
“I didn’t know about that. I wouldn’t have let it happen.”
On that, at least, she could give him credit. He had seemed genuinely shell-shocked by that development.
“Come on, Haleigh.”
“You know all of my ugly little monsters, but you won’t share any of yours with me.” Somehow, that hurt almost us much as Greg’s laughter.
“Stop it.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course, I do. I just don’t want to talk about it.”
“Ian.”
“Not now, damn it.” He shook his head. “You really are being a little crazy right now.”
The words sliced through her like a knife. “Crazy?”
He froze. “I didn’t mean that.”
“You think I’m crazy?”
“I never said . . .” His face fell, and he tried to reach for her again, but she twisted out of his reach. Irritation flaring, he tugged his tie the rest of the way loose and shoved it into his pockets. “You’re not crazy. I just . . . think you need to calm down and be rational.”
“I just need time to cool off and I’ll be less crazy.” She shook her head. “Screw you.”
“Haleigh—” He threw his hands up in the air. “Fine. Put words in my mouth. You’ll just do and think whatever you want anyway.”
“So now I’m crazy and selfish.” A single tear slipped down her cheek. She swiped it away furiously. “You really don’t know me after all.”
“I . . .” He shook his head, like he was struggling to keep up.
“Then what are we even doing here? Why even bother with . . .”—she motioned between them—“this?”
He kept his mouth shut. It was the only thing he could do to protect himself. Yet, his silence hurt her almost much as the words. She wanted him to say something, to hold her close. Just as much, she wanted him to stay away, to leave her alone.
She didn’t know what she wanted, but she needed time and space.
Almost as if she’d timed it, her ride pulled up to the curb. The driver rolled down the window and held up a phone. “Haleigh P?”
Wiping away another rogue tear with the back of her hand, Haleigh sniffed. “I’ll be just a minute.”
An hour ago, Haleigh’s world had been more close to perfect than she’d ever imagined. Now, it had shattered into so many pieces she hardly recognized it.
“I’ve got to go.”
“Please. Stay.”
“I can’t stay here.”
“Then let me take you home.”
“You need to be here.” Clearly, he didn’t understand what was happening. Had he ever understood her at all? “I hope the app is a success,” she said, and she meant it, even if her voice wavered. “You deserve it.”
“Thank you.” He hesitated a moment. “Are you sure I shouldn’t come with you?”
“You should go to your party. It’s your night.”
“And you?”
“I should go home. Alone,” she added. “It’s probably for the best.”
If she was alone, she couldn’t hurt anyone, and they couldn’t hurt her.
“Haleigh, I hope—” Ian swallowed hard and set his jaw. “I hope you can forgive me.”
She just nodded, unable to say anything else. She reached for the door handle, but he beat her to it.
“Let me.”
She couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze as she slid into the car. It wasn’t until they pulled away from the curb that she turned back. Ian stood in the dim streetlight, shoulders hunched forward. He caught her stare and raised his hand. Then they rounded the corner, and she couldn’t see him anymore.
Fresh tears welled in her eyes. Oblivious to her distress, the driver tried to strike up a conversation. “Leaving a party?”
“Yep.”
“Your dress is gorgeous,” the young woman said brightly. “Totally cute.”
It was a struggle, but Haleigh managed a “thank you.”
“What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a teacher.”
“What do you teach?”
“Math.”
“Math,” the woman mused. “O. M. G. You’re Ms. Parde, right?”
It took Haleigh another second, but she was able to place the girl. She’d been in Haleigh’s freshman geometry class five years ago. And now . . . she was driving her sobbing teacher home.
“Alice?”
“What a small world!” The young woman squealed. “So, what’s up with you? Was that your boyfriend?”
“No,” Haleigh said. “He’s a guy I met at a bar.”
Chapter Nineteen
Ian should have been happy.
XO On Demand
had released to app stores worldwide at midnight exactly as planned. Though everything seemed to be running smoothly, he’d spent the night on a couch at the office. Just in case. Every twenty minutes or so, he got up and logged in for an update. Each check showed an exponential increase in downloads. It was a small miracle there had been no major service outages or complaints.
He wished he could say the same for the rest of his life.
It was a good thing he had his work to keep him company overnight. He wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway. When he wasn’t worrying about whether or not any undetected bugs had appeared, he was replaying every word he and Haleigh had said to each other in his head. Each time he remembered the way she accused him of lying to her and the way she’d spoken about her ex, the cut to his heart grew deeper.
Every time he saw the hurt in her eyes—the pain he’d put there with his words—the nausea in his stomach grew stronger. He’d actually made her cry. He’d never made any woman cry—at least not to his knowledge. Then he’d gone and broken his streak with someone who actually mattered.
Maybe his father was right. Maybe a man had to choose between having a career and being happy.
By the time the rest of the staff had reported for duty the morning after the launch, he’d almost wished something terrible would go wrong with the app. At least then he’d be distracted.
Instead, he had plenty of time to think, to stew. It had been a brutal couple of days. Besides waking up from his predawn power nap with a throbbing headache and belatedly realizing he’d given the last of his Tylenol to Haleigh a few days ago, Ian spent most of the past few days tied up in a series of meetings with the founders and his team. Then he’d capped it off by snapping at his intern when she’d reminded him that Haleigh’s reunion was that night.
That made him feel even worse. She’d only been following orders. It wasn’t her fault her boss was a grouch who’d received only one message from the woman he’d placed his hopes in.
Change in plans. I don’t need a date for the reunion.
Could Haleigh be any more clear than that?
The worst part of the whole situation? He’d finally gotten what he wanted. The XO On Demand launch had been a massive success. Beyond the international media coverage, downloads for the first two days were off the charts. Better still, everything seemed to be working as anticipated. There were still customer complaints, but nothing that couldn’t be handled with a few minutes of troubleshooting.
Plus, with the investors coming through on the raise, yesterday afternoon he’d officially been named the vice president of product development. The founders would make the big announcement on Monday, but he’d been offered and had accepted the job.
But he couldn’t enjoy any of it. The moment he’d received their first day’s figures, he’d wanted to call Haleigh to tell her about it. Then he’d remembered she hated him, and the thrill had passed. It had happened after the promotion. He’d almost called his father to rub it in his face. He thought of what Haleigh would say. She’d tell him to let it go and not let his dad have any chance to diminish his achievement.
By the time four o’clock rolled around, he figured he wasn’t doing anyone any good by sticking around.
“Got a second?” Taylor asked from a few feet away. She was probably intentionally keeping an arm’s length between them in case he snapped again.
“What do you want?”
“I . . . just needed to say I’m sorry again. I wish there was something I could do to fix this, but . . .”
“It’s too late.” He shrugged. “Haleigh doesn’t want to hear it.”
“She still isn’t speaking to you?”
“Nope.” Not that he’d tried reaching out to her after she’d uninvited him to the reunion. He’d reached for his phone at least a hundred times during the past forty-eight hours. Each time, he hadn’t known what to say, and he’d stopped.
She’d told him she needed space. He was giving it.
“What about the reunion?”
“I don’t know if she’s going.”
“But are you?”
He glared, hoping that was answer enough. “Did you need something else?”
“Just I’m sorry. Not only to Haleigh, though I am and I’ll tell her if I get a chance, but to you.” Taylor’s shoulders slumped. “I never meant to hurt either of you. I hope . . . you can work things out. And if there’s anything I can do to help . . . let me know. I’m here to help.”
He almost snorted at that. If only it was that simple. “I’m going to get out of here.”
“Hitting up happy hour?” When he nodded, she offered a tight-lipped grin. “If anyone deserves a happy hour right now, it’s you.” She hesitated a moment. “I meant what I said. I hope you two can work this out. The more I think about it, the more it seems like you two fit together. You’re probably good for each other.”
He’d thought so too, but he’d been wrong.
He drove to the bar in a haze, wondering if maybe he shouldn’t try calling Haleigh. But what could he say? Everything he’d already tried had been wrong. What was the point in reaching out to someone who didn’t want to listen? What was the point of holding on to someone who didn’t want you around?
He was in a sulk as he dropped into his seat at the bar. Ford slid his usual beer order across the marred wood a moment later. “Hey. Where’s your girl tonight?”
“My girl?”
“Haleigh . . . Isn’t tonight the big night? The reunion?”
“She’s not my girl.” Not anymore, anyway. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not get into it.”
“Obviously a sore subject.” But rather than let it go, Ford dropped into an empty chair. “What happened?”
“It’s . . . complicated.”
He still couldn’t completely figure out how the whole thing had deteriorated so thoroughly. Even though the whole mess hadn’t been entirely his fault, he’d apologized. Repeatedly. Then, when he’d tried to comfort her, she’d twisted his words into insults. Then she’d accused him of shutting her out when he hadn’t wanted to talk about his dad. It wasn’t anything against her. He just didn’t want to get into his own personal mess when she was hurting. Somehow, that made him the bad guy.
In the end, he’d been the one to try to talk things through, and she’d been the one to leave and tell him none of what they had mattered. He had every right to be pissed about that. Didn’t he?
From her post at the sink, Sidney snorted in disgust and shook her head. “That figures.”
“What?”
“It’s just typical.”
“What?”
“You’re such a dude. You use a woman, get what you want, then let her go when it gets complicated. That’s what you guys were arguing about the other night, right? When you said she was too much work?”
Ford winced. “You didn’t really say that, did you?”
He hadn’t. What he’d said had been worse. He’d regretted using words like crazy and rational the moment they were out. Part of him wondered if maybe he’d said them on purpose. He’d known her weak spot and taken a punch.
And he hated himself for that.
“I can’t believe you bailed on her.” Sidney’s eyes narrowed. “And right before her reunion, which”—she narrowed her eyes—“I see you’ve decided to skip.”
Then she mumbled something barely distinguishable under her breath, but it sounded a lot like “asshole.”
Somewhere, at some point in time, Ian had done something awful. Inhumanely evil, even. That could be the only explanation for why he was getting the third degree from a second woman in as many days. He should let the bartender’s comment go. She didn’t understand the situation—that he was also an injured party here.
But apparently he wasn’t feeling any smarter today.
“That’s. Not. What. Happened.”
Sensing the start of an argument, Ford stepped between them, giving a nervous laugh. “Guys, maybe we should chang
e the subject.” He glanced at one of the TV screens. “Wow. How about them Warriors?”
Ignoring his paltry attempts at peacemaking, Sidney wiped her hands on a towel and tossed it aside. “So, what did happen, then?”
“We . . .” What? Had a fight. That was the truth, but it seemed like an understatement given the catastrophic fallout.
He did his best to explain what had happened, cringing as he described the way everyone had turned to stare at her during the presentation. Looking back, it had been pretty awful. When he got to the part where they’d made accusations toward each other, he expected to feel angry. Instead, he just felt . . . hollow. Like a huge chunk of him had been taken away along with the words.
“So . . . that’s it?” Sidney asked.
“Isn’t that enough?” Was he the only one who’d found the whole thing awful? “It was terrible.”
From a few seats down the bar, the professor snorted. All eyes turned toward him. His ears turned bright red.
Ian didn’t have the patience to grant the poor guy any sympathy. Not when he’d already butted in. “Did you want to add something?”
James shook his head but stopped. Straightening, he sipped his whiskey and straightened. “Look, mate, it’s none of my business, but she’s right. You’re being a tosser.”
Tosser? What was that even supposed to mean? Couldn’t the guy insult him in American just this once?
“You had a fight. A big one. And, you did blow it a bit.” The professor shrugged. “But have you even tried to fix it? Unless . . .”
“Unless?”
“Unless you’re too proud or scared to put yourself out there.” James downed the last of his whiskey and slouched back into his leather jacket. “You’ve got a good girl right there. She won’t let you down. It’s up to you to prove she can count on you too.”
The professor made a good point. But there was one big fact he couldn’t ignore. “She doesn’t want to see or hear from me.”
“But do you want to see or hear from her again?”
“Of course.” He said the words before he’d even had a chance to consider his answer. Now that they were out, he realized just how true they were. He wanted to see and hear from Haleigh. Every day for the rest of his life, if possible.
Counting on You (Amarillo Sour, #1) Page 19
