Gotta Have It
Page 5
For her, it was a monumental gamble. If she made the wrong choice, her life could be destroyed.
But if you make the right one, your life could be transformed forever.
She hovered on the brink of indecision. She did not have to go through with this. She could go back home. Forget she had ever been here. Forget finding her passion. Forget Durango Creed.
The silence between them was interrupted by the sound of a cell phone ringing from inside Durango’s backpack. He rummaged around in the pack, found the phone and answered it.
He looked surprised and handed it to Abby. “It’s for you.”
“For me?” Who could be calling her on Durango’s cell phone? “Hello?” she said.
“Abby, I’m glad I caught you.”
“Daddy? How did you find me here? Why are you contacting me at this number?”
She turned her back to Durango, walked a few steps away and lowered her voice. She didn’t want him overhearing her conversation.
“I phoned the Tranquility Spa and they said you were on a Jeep tour. Then I called the tour place and they gave me the guide’s cell number.”
“What’s up?” She swallowed hard. Her father would have a hernia if he knew the tour guide was Durango Creed.
“You need to come home.”
“Has something bad happened?” She splayed a hand to the back of her neck.
“No, something good.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“Ken’s come back. He’s realized what a mistake he made. It was just a case of wedding-day jitters. He wants to make things right. He wants to see you.”
“He can want in one hand and wish in the other, Daddy,” Abby found herself quoting one of her mother’s favorite sayings. Except the word Cassandra frequently used wasn’t “wish” but something much more colorful.
“Now that’s not like you.”
“Ken stood me up at the altar. He took off to Vegas with a stripper. I’m not taking him back.”
“And he’s sorry for what happened. He’s begging your forgiveness.”
“What’d she do? Roll him?”
“Excuse me?”
“The stripper. Did she take Ken’s wallet?”
“And his Corvette,” her father admitted.
“Cassandra said this would happen.”
“Since when do you listen to anything your whack job of a mother has to say?”
“No name-calling, Daddy.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Just come home so we can straighten this out.”
“I’m not taking him back.”
“He’s a good man who made a bad mistake.”
“Ken’s a jackass!”
“Abby,” he chided. “I thought you said no name-calling.”
“I changed my mind.”
“All right, you don’t have to marry him, but you do have to smooth things over. As the election draws nearer, you two are going to be working very closely together. We can’t afford animosity to derail this team.”
“You didn’t fire him?”
“Honey, Ken’s my campaign manager.”
“And I’m your daughter!”
“Who is normally very sweet and easy to get along with and a great mediator. I know you can do this.”
“You want me to swallow my pride? Tuck my tail between my legs?”
“I wouldn’t ask, but you know how important the campaign is. This riff between you and Ken could negatively impact my career.”
“Then fire him.”
“I need him, Abby, and you know it.”
More than you need me?
Disappointment had her blinking back tears. Apparently her father didn’t care about her happiness or what she needed as long as his boat didn’t get rocked. All he cared about was what she meant to his precious image, his sacred campaign.
“I’m sorry, Daddy, but I just can’t. I’ve got a lot of thinking to do. I need to find myself.”
“Abigail,” he commanded. “You come home right now.”
“You can’t order me around. I’m not seventeen anymore.”
She heard her father draw in a deep breath. She could see him clenching his jaw, kneading the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb, composing himself. He wasn’t accustomed to her defiance. She could tell by his silence he was trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation.
“You know,” he said after a long moment, “this is how it started out with your mother. Going off to find herself. It was supposed to be for a weekend, then it became a week and then she ran off with that bohemian freak who made artwork out of garbage because she had to be free to follow her passion.”
“Daddy, don’t make me feel rotten about this.”
“Feelings are a choice, Abby. I’ve taught you how not to act on them.”
“And now, it’s long past time I learned how to express them.”
Her father grunted. “Thinking back on it, I believe Cassandra was exactly your age when she went bad.” He sounded bitter, resentful, and it felt as if he was lashing out at her, trying to make her feel lousy for wanting to lead her own life.
Guilt, betrayal and sadness formed a leaden lump in the center of her stomach. She had the strangest urge to eat macaroni and cheese or mashed potatoes and gravy. To bury her emotions with comfort food.
His intimidation tactics weren’t going to work. Not this time. She wasn’t going to cave and let him have his way.
“Cassandra isn’t bad,” she said, her voice cracking. “She’s just a free spirit.”
“Sugarcoat it all you want. Your mother abandoned us.”
“I’m not abandoning you, Daddy. I just need to be by myself for a while.”
“You’re with Tess,” he retorted. “Not by yourself. And I’m worried she’s going to lead you astray.”
“Daddy, please.”
He heaved a heavy sigh. “All right. Take whatever time you need, just please, while you’re running around getting in touch with your feelings or following your passion or whatever it is you’re bent on doing, don’t embarrass me. If this little escapade creates a scandal and ends up costing me votes…”
She’d never in her life hung up on her father, but she did then, switching off the phone and handing it back to Durango.
Ever since her mother left them, Abby had always taken her father’s side. Cassandra was the irresponsible one. Her father had stayed behind to raise her. But Abby had a sudden inkling into her mother and for the first time she saw her parents from an adult perspective.
The dissolution of their union couldn’t have been as one-sided as Abby had imagined. She realized her father wasn’t as blameless as she’d always believed. It must have been very difficult for carefree, fun-loving Cassandra to make a go of marriage with a work-obsessed man as cautious and set in his ways as the judge.
“Your father?” Durango asked.
She nodded.
“He wants you to come home.”
“Yes.”
“Are you going?”
Abby hesitated. “No.”
“What are you going to do?”
Abby shrugged. What was she going to do?
A small prop airplane buzzed overhead. She glanced up and saw it was skywriting a message. She shaded her eyes with a hand, watching as the pilot looped and twirled, forming a word of white smoke.
When the pilot finished and she saw what was etched ephemerally across the sky, her heart almost ceased beating.
There, in spotty cursive writing, was the answer she’d been searching for.
Freefall.
4
“ABBY?” Durango reached out to catch her just as her knees buckled. “Are you all right?”
“The sun, the vortex. I feel faint.”
“You’re probably dehydrated. Let’s get your head between your knees.”
He eased her to a sitting position on the ground and fumbled in his backpack for a bottle of water. He crouched beside her, handed her the water and massag
ed her shoulders as she drank.
Her neck muscles were a minefield of corded knots. Durango felt Abby’s entire body tense at his touch and her reaction sparked a corresponding tightness inside of him. Ten years ago he had tucked her memory to the back of his brain, forgetting for the most part how much he had once wanted her.
And how much she had hurt him. A decade of censored desire came springing back and he was that horny eighteen-year-old again, starving for her body, hungering for her affection.
He didn’t like feeling susceptible. He stopped rubbing her neck.
A dribble of water rolled down the curved plastic bottle, dropped onto her upper chest and trickled slowly down the V neck of her T-shirt and disappeared between her breasts.
Durango sucked in air.
He stared at her chest.
His fingers twitched to touch her once more but he wouldn’t allow himself the luxury.
He had the sudden fear that if he acted on his impulse he would be forever damned.
His mouth slipped open and he found himself tracing his tongue along his lips. He glanced at the water trickling down her breasts and looked away and looked at her again. He felt the energy of the vortex wrenching at him.
Unbelievable.
Even after all this time the woman still held the power to command his total attention. Luckily she was gazing up at the sky and hadn’t noticed him ogling her. What would she say if she spotted stark need for her in his eyes?
“The skywriting,” she whispered, and gestured upward. “Freefall. Like the medallion on the rearview mirror of your Jeep.”
“Yes,” he said, startled to find she was trembling. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one waging a war with his feelings.
Her vulnerability touched him bone deep. He’d always thought of her as strong, resilient and in full control of her emotions. It was an eye opener to learn he was mistaken.
“What does it mean?” She turned to look at him.
“Freefall is a new adventure package being offered by Sunrise Tours and I’m going to be one of the guides. The itinerary will include push-yourself-to-the-limit activities like hang gliding, bungee jumping, hot-air ballooning and skydiving,” Durango replied, happy to have something to think about besides the growing pressure in his groin.
“That’s what you were talking about? That’s the kind of adventure you meant?” Was it disappointment he heard in her voice or relief?
“What did you think I meant?”
Her cheeks reddened adorably. “I thought that…when you said that you would help me unearth my passion you meant…er…something different.”
“Different how?” He wasn’t going to let her off the hook. He wanted to hear her say the words. He wanted to watch her squirm.
She drew her knees to her chest, folded her arms over her head and dropped her forehead to her knees. She laughed with embarrassment. “I’m such an idiot. I thought you were talking about a sexual adventure.”
I was. He just smiled and shrugged.
“So you weren’t thinking about having sex with me?” Her voice was low and smoky.
If she only knew what he was thinking. She’d likely slap his face and run away.
“Angel,” he said. “I’m not going to lie. I would like nothing more than to take you to bed.”
“You would?”
She sounded surprised. How could she be surprised when he was practically panting? Durango felt hot, moody and restless. His mind as well as his body was burning with the fantasy of possessing her.
He knew if he hoped to seduce her that he would have to play it cagey. They had a rocky history and that was a strike against him, plus she had always been skittish when it came to expressing her sexuality.
But the kiss they had shared told him she was ready, even if she didn’t yet know it. She was searching for her passion. If he played his cards right, he could possess her.
“But I’m not going to make love to you,” Durango announced.
“You’re not?” No missing the emotion in her voice this time. She was disappointed.
“Not until you’re ready. I won’t be accused of coercing you into something you’re not one-hundred percent into. Particularly when you’re already mad at your dad. I don’t want to be the instrument you use to get back at him. When the time comes, I want you to beg me to make you come.”
“Oh.”
She exhaled sharply and angled him a coy glance over her crossed arms propped against her knees. The sheen of desire clouded her hazel eyes. Her dark brown lashes fluttered and she moistened her lips with a saucy pink tongue.
He was incredibly aware of her. He could feel her everywhere on his skin. In his nerve endings, in his pores, hell, even the hairs on his head seemed alive with her. He’d forgotten how much she affected him.
It was disturbing.
And stimulating as hell.
“So you would make love to me if I asked you to?” she said.
“Are you asking?”
“Tess thinks I need to have a wild fling. She claims that’s what went wrong in my relationship with Ken. That I never had the opportunity to…um…explore my fantasies before we got engaged.”
“And you want me to be your guide in fantasy land?” He didn’t know how he felt about this. He was good enough for a hot tryst but not good enough for a long-term relationship?
Okay, so he did know how he felt about it. Her statement pissed him off.
“I didn’t say that was what I wanted. I’m just telling you what Tess thinks.”
“I want to know what Abby thinks,” he growled.
“Abby’s not certain what she thinks. That’s what she’s trying to find out.”
“Are you sure I’m the right guy to be discussing this with? Don’t you remember what your father always said about me?”
“That you’d take me straight to hell.” She grinned and his anger dissipated.
“He’s right about that.”
“Maybe I’m ready for a little fire and brimstone,” she said.
“What are you suggesting?” He arched an eyebrow and leaned close to her.
“I don’t know.”
“You do know. Say it.”
She sucked in air. “Okay, I want to discover if I have Cassandra’s wild passionate blood pumping through my veins. I want to find it and then I want to get over it so that it doesn’t come back to haunt me. I want to stop sneezing when I have out-of-control sexual fantasies.”
“All right.”
“But it has to be discreet. My father’s running for office…I can’t cause a scandal or…anything that could damage his career.”
“Oh, I get it. I’m to be your secret sin. The guy you remember fondly when you’re a ninety-year-old woman sitting in her rocking chair thinking back on her past.”
“Yes.” She bit down on her bottom lip. “Does that make you mad?”
“That you want to use me for sex and then dump me?” His gut was in turmoil and he felt a sharp poke of something rude in his heart. “Hey, at least this time I’ll get sex out of the deal before I get dumped.”
“You’re still mad because I wouldn’t run away with you.”
“No. I’m not mad. That happened a long time ago. I’m just disappointed in you.”
“Disappointed?”
“That you’re still letting your father run your life,” he said.
“That’s why I’m here, Durango. I want to make a change. I just need some help. You’re an old friend and I’m turning to you to help me because you’re the most passionate guy I know. But if it’s too much pressure on you, hey, I understand. No biggie.”
“No pressure,” he said. “I’m free and easy. Sure. I’ll show you how to find a passion for living. For old time’s sake.”
“Really?” She looked happy and terrified all at the same time.
“Really.” He raised his chin and gave her his most notorious grin. He’d been told on more than one occasion his grin made women go weak in the knees.
“Agreed,” he said.
But even as he acquiesced, some small, vengeful part of him couldn’t help thinking that all he had to do was give Abby a sweet taste of all the fun she had been missing and she would shake up the judge’s perfectly ordered world all on her own and he would have a front-row seat for the show.
“YEW-HOO, Abby, Durango, if you’ve got your pants down, put yourselves back together,” Tess’s voice carried to the top of the mesa.
“Good grief, what does she think we’re doing? We’re on a hilltop, in full view of anyone who happens by,” Abby exclaimed.
Durango chuckled. “Exploring our passion?”
“Belts buckled, shirts tucked in, we’re coming up,” Tess said.
“We?” Abby asked
“Don’t look at me.” Durango shrugged. “She’s your friend.”
At that moment, Tess and a ruggedly handsome man who bore an uncanny resemblance to the actor Colin Cruz appeared at the trailhead. The guy had an arm slung around Tess’s waist and she was leaning against his shoulder, giggling girlishly.
“I don’t believe it,” Abby said. “Leave her alone for twenty minutes in the wilds of nowhere and she snags a man.”
“See, that’s what passion will do for you,” Durango teased.
“Exactly what I’m afraid of,” Abby muttered. Reality was seeping in and she was already regretting being honest with him. “Stop grinning.”
He didn’t stop.
“Abby, Durango, meet Jackson Dauber.” Tess presented the man with a flourish of her hand. “He’s Colin Cruz’s stunt double.”
“Hello, mates,” Jackson greeted them.
“Jackson is from Australia,” Tess explained needlessly. “Like Mel Gibson and Russell Crowe and that crocodile guy.”
“Well, I’m not as famous as those blokes, but little sheila here seems impressed.” Jackson grinned at Tess and locked gazes with her. She grinned right back.
“Who wouldn’t be impressed with muscles like this.” Tess squeezed one of Jackson’s biceps that he obligingly flexed for her. “You’re a hundred times hotter than Colin Cruz.”