by Ana Medeiros
After parting ways, she walked to the subway station on East Chicago Avenue and North State Street. She took the red line south to 79th Street. With thick flurries falling on her hair and face, Meredith covered the three blocks as fast as she could. Her destination was an address given to her by Colton.
Knocking on the front door of a small brick house, she waited. Bungalow style homes lined up the street and besides the piles of dirty snow, the area couldn’t have been cleaner. But it was still very different from where she had grown up and that, to Meredith’s dismay, made her feel on edge.
She heard the sound of the door unlocking and a head peeked out from the inside.
“Hi, I’m looking for Samantha. I called. She’s expecting me. I’m Meredith Dalton.”
The woman opened the door and let her in. “I’m Sam.”
“Thank you for agreeing to speak to me,” Meredith stood by the entrance. She didn’t know what to do. “Should I take off my shoes?” she asked, seeing how organized the house looked. Compared to it her apartment was a pigsty.
“Yeah, just leave them by the door.”
“I know I’ve said this to you before but I’m really sorry about what happened to Lena.” Meredith was now sitting at a large dining room table, speaking about the woman who had been found dead the day Pam had given her the folder on Julian. “How long did you guys know each other?” Meredith continued.
Samantha was sitting at the opposite end and she gave Meredith a blank stare. “We met at work. We cleaned apartment buildings together. After she quit she stayed in contact. All her family was back in Moldova and she didn’t have many friends. She was kind of shy, you know? And too pretty for her own good.”
“Why do you say that?”
“She started prostituting herself.”
Meredith’s hands were folded on the table and her palms started to get sweaty. “On the streets, you mean?”
“Online.”
“An escort service?”
“Ruby’s Playground. I think it’s a website.” Samantha reached for a pack of cigarettes. When she offered Meredith one, she gladly took it.
“One of those men killed her. I have no doubts,” Samantha added.
“She died of a drug overdose.”
That made the other woman angry. “Believe me, that girl didn’t do drugs. She was clean. Did they find drugs at her place?”
“I don’t think so.”
“See? I’m telling you. It doesn’t add up.”
“Did she ever mention anything about the men she met through Ruby’s Playground?”
“She knew I didn’t approve so she kept that stuff to herself.”
“How about a club? Did she ever say anything about a club? Or going to a club?”
Samantha frowned. “I don’t remember. I don’t think so.”
“When the autopsy results came back it showed that she had sex not long before she died. I know that you said she was prostituting herself, but did she have a boyfriend? Was she seeing anyone?”
“She never mentioned anyone to me.” Samantha leaned forward, her elbows on the table. There was conviction in her stance. “Whoever killed Lena took her necklace.”
“Sorry?”
“She always wore a gold necklace with a small cross. She had it on the last time I saw her. That was the day before she died. I asked the police for it but they had no idea because it hadn’t been on her when they found her.”
Their voices were the only sound in the otherwise silent house. There was not even the sound of a clock ticking or the distant noise of a car driving by outside. It was only mid-afternoon but, with the lack of sun, a grey cast came through the window and hit the white walls and beige carpet. It made Meredith want to turn on the lights. The red glow of their burning cigarettes stood out in the shadows.
“The police don’t give a shit.” Samantha said. “Lena was an illegal. A girl with no money, no family. Who’s going to fight for her? I’m a black woman in Chatham, trying to keep my kids out of trouble. I can’t take on another fight.”
“I told you on the phone, I’m writing an article that will make people want to know what happened to Lena, who killed her. I’ll dig as deep as I have to for that to happen.” Meredith’s eyes bore into Samantha. “I promise you.”
Chapter 15
It was well past midnight and Meredith stood on the second floor of The Raven Room.
She still found it astonishing that the club was in the basement of a large, old Chinatown building. At the street level it was divided into three large businesses—two restaurants and a food market. Over the years she had walked past those storefronts several times and not even in her wildest dreams could she have imagined a place like The Raven Room existed right below the dollar sunglasses and hanging roasted ducks.
Turning around, Meredith saw Julian sitting by himself. When she had decided to go watch a scene in the dungeon he hadn’t joined her. After what had happened the last time they had been at the club, she was surprised Julian was letting her walk around without him right by her side. They made eye contact and, in his smile toward her, she saw the worry that appeared to be consuming all of his thoughts. She walked up to him and sat on his lap.
“How was the dungeon?” he asked, wrapping his arm around her waist.
“Interesting. There was this woman hanging from the ceiling by chains, cuffs around her wrists. The guy was using spiked vampire gloves on her.”
“Nice.”
She raised an eyebrow at his comment. “Have you ever done anything like that?”
“I have but not here.”
“Why not?”
“It’s something that feels very intimate. I wouldn’t do it in front of an audience.”
Meredith ran her fingers through his hair. “Is that one of the reasons why I’ve never seen you fuck anyone around here?”
“In the beginning, when I started coming to the club, I was with more women than I’ll ever care to admit. It was fun then.” Julian tilted his head back, toward her hand. “But the novelty of it wore off.”
“I can see how that might happen,” Meredith said, noticing how worn-out he looked. “BDSM fascinates me.”
“Tell me,” he urged her to continue.
“I think BDSM has become a catchall phrase for many different behaviors. Everywhere I turn there’s someone telling me what BDSM is and isn’t. What it should and shouldn’t be about.”
“What’s BDSM for you? What do you want it to be?”
“Hmm…good question. I don’t think anyone ever asked me that…” she paused, staring at his heavy lidded eyes. “For me, it is a medium,” she continued, speaking while trying to articulate her thoughts. “A medium through which people communicate with each other.”
“Then that’s what BDSM is and should be. It doesn’t matter what someone else might think. Unless you’re planning on using BDSM to communicate with them.”
She laughed. “Yeah, good point. And for you? What’s BDSM to you?”
Julian had his eyes closed and because his body had relaxed under her, Meredith’s own body was melding into his. “BDSM means nothing to me. It’s an empty four-letter term. I can’t say that I enjoy it or I don’t. I’m indifferent. I don’t feel anything. That’s why I don’t scene anymore.”
“But I know you get off on being dominant.”
“I wouldn’t call it that.”
“What would you call it, then?”
He lifted his eyes to her and the sorrow and regret she saw in them made it hard for her to continue looking at him. “You don’t want to tell me, do you?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I’m not a good man, Meredith. I just do a good job at hiding it.”
“Are you referring to your need to be in control?”
“It’s because of who I am that I need to be in control.”
“I don’t understand—”
“Some things are not meant to be understood,” he whispered, not letting h
er finish.
Meredith didn’t know what Julian was talking about but she went with it. There had been occasions when the sex between them had been intense, if not downright punishing, but she had never felt threatened. He had always made her feel safe. That was the reason why she was able to fully let go with Julian. She trusted him. “Does it only happen with women?”
“It happens in the dynamic of sexual relationships. Since I’m attracted to women, yes, it only happens with women.”
Meredith continued to sit on his lap, running her fingers through his hair in slow movements. She felt the warmth of his hand over her hip bone, saw the glow of the red lighting of the club on his face, heard the soft noises of pleasure coming from all different directions, smelled the sensual and mellow scent that defined The Raven Room. “What are you afraid of?” she asked.
“Myself.”
She swallowed hard. She needed to work past the knot in her throat. There was something utterly sad about Julian and if she weren’t careful, it would bring her to tears at the most inopportune moments. “What would happen if you lost control?”
“You would see who I really am.”
“Would that really be such a bad thing?” she said, trying to sound cheerful but failing. Instead she sounded bitter. “I’m tough as nails. I can handle you.”
“You would hate me.”
“No I wouldn’t.”
“Trust me on this. You’re self-centered but you’re not cruel. You deserve the best I can give.”
Meredith studied him for a while. Julian had never before criticized her, and his belief that she was self-centered caught her by surprise. Pam also believed she was self-centered and the knowledge that both saw her as such upset her. Suddenly, Meredith didn’t feel like being there anymore. She felt engulfed by the music, the scents, the naked bodies and the moans of pleasure. She felt herself sinking deeper into a reality she couldn’t yet fully fathom.
“Do you want to leave?” she asked, rubbing her hand along her sweaty neck. “I won’t be sucking any cock tonight.”
Maybe genuinely unaware of her discomfort, or simply deciding to ignore it, he gave her a lazy smile. “You don’t see anyone you want?”
Meredith allowed her chest to rise and fall a couple of times. With each breath, she regained her composure. “I spotted a hot redhead on my way back from the dungeon,” she said, sounding like her buoyant self again. “We’ve seen her here before.”
“So why not try her? She might be game.”
“Believe me, I would totally do her but…look, that’s her.” Meredith glanced at the entrance of the room. “She’s hot, right?”
Julian didn’t answer but Meredith saw him following the woman with his gaze. She wasn’t sure if she was his type, she would have guessed no, but the truth was she wasn’t exactly sure what it was about a woman that attracted Julian. The redhead was with an older man and they approached a couple that had been sitting there longer than Meredith and Julian had. She couldn’t hear them but it was clear to her the man was introducing the redhead to them.
Meredith liked the dark green dress the woman was wearing. She had picked the perfect shoes to go with it—a pair of black leather high heel boots, matched with sheer black nylons. The shade of her outfit enhanced the color of her hair, which had the perfect I–just-rolled-out-of-bed look to it. The woman was hot but her hair was in a different league. Her hair was gorgeous.
“Fuck, I would kill to have hair like that,” Meredith said, more to herself than to Julian. She glanced at him. All his attention was on the woman and even though the expression on his face was hard to read, he didn’t look happy.
“Do you know her?”
Julian didn’t respond.
Meredith watched the group of four and she got the impression the silver-headed man, the one who had walked into the room with the woman, was the one calling the shots between the two of them.
“I think she’s the silver fox’s mistress or he’s paying her to be here….or maybe both.”
At that point the redhead dropped to her knees, opened the slacks of the other man she had just been introduced to, and took him into her mouth. The two men and the other woman continued to talk as if nothing was going on. The woman on the floor was invisible to them.
“Okay…didn’t see that one coming,” Meredith said with awe. “This place never ceases to amaze me.”
Julian remained silent. Meredith felt the muscles in his body tightening up and that made her more interested in watching Julian’s reaction to what was unfolding in front of them than the act itself. The hand that had been previously resting on her hip bone was now tense and Julian’s fingers dug deep into her flesh. Exhaling through her mouth to help her deal with the pain without complaining out loud, she wondered if Julian was aware of his own strength or even of what he was doing. She slid her fingers under his and tried to ease Julian’s grip on her. Realizing he was bruising her, he let Meredith hold his hand instead.
The redhead didn’t pleasure the man to orgasm. A couple of minutes after she had begun, he gave her a gentle tap on the side of her head as a sign he was done. Without hesitation and quite gracefully, Meredith thought, she tucked him back inside of his slacks and returned to her feet. She and the older man she had entered the room with spoke to each other as if she hadn’t just been on her knees. He said something that made her laugh and she turned her head, looking into the area of the room where Meredith and Julian were sitting. The smile left her face. She was looking straight at Julian. Meredith glanced at Julian and the look on his face made her swallow hard. Meredith didn’t see rage. She saw heartache and, more obvious than that, the anticipation in his eyes. Like all he wanted was for the woman across the room to come to him.
Instead, the redhead turned around and left. Meredith could see that the man she was with was surprised by her behavior. Before he turned to follow her, he took a good look at both Meredith and Julian.
Pushing her off his lap, Julian got up. Instinctively, Meredith stood in front of him. “What are you doing?” He intended to follow the woman. “It’s time for us to leave,” she said seeing the hostile stare the other man shot toward Julian.
“Julian? Let’s go.” Meredith didn’t move until she was certain he had heard her. She placed her hand on the middle of his chest and that caught his attention. He met her anxious gaze. “It’s time for us to leave.”
In less than five minutes they were out of the club and inside the car they had driven to The Raven Room. Meredith was relieved they hadn’t run into the man or the redhead on their way out. She didn’t want to find out what would have happened if they had.
It had started to snow again and the weather was not doing anything to help improve her mood. The night was turning out to be a debacle and she felt strung out.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“To a parking lot near Millennium Park. We can take a cab from there. I’ll drop you off at home first and then I’ll continue to my place.”
“I don’t feel like being by myself. You’re coming to my place. My roommate is away this week and tomorrow is Sunday.”
“Thank you, but—”
“Julian, come over, we can shoot the shit over a couple of drinks. That’s it.” Her eyes were on the snow-covered road. “I meant it when I said I wasn’t going to suck cock tonight.”
She was relieved when he didn’t try to argue with her. Because of the weather it took them a long time to get to the parking lot and flag down a cab. It was past two in the morning when they entered her apartment.
Kicking off her high heels and dropping her jacket on a chair, she turned on the lamp by the couch. “Make yourself comfortable.”
“How many times have I been here before?” Julian asked, also taking off his shoes and throwing his coat on top of hers.
She smiled, lighting the Nag Champa incense. “Once.”
“That’s what I thought. I also remember your bedroom being the size of my closet.”
“Wow, I’m impressed with your memory.”
“What can I say, it was a memorable experience,” he teased her.
“Red wine or beer? That’s all I have.” She stood by the kitchen, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and two beers in the other.
“Wine, please.”
“Good choice.”
She walked back into the living room with the bottle and two glasses. She joined Julian on the small couch.
“Oh, there’s something missing,” Meredith said, jumping off the couch and picking a record from a pile of vinyl albums. “Nina Simone okay with you?”
“Absolutely. Can’t go wrong with her.”
She looked at him over her shoulder and winked. “I knew you had good taste when it comes to women.”
As the rich and smooth voice of Nina Simone came to life, just loud enough to fill up the silence inside of the apartment, Meredith lit some incense before she returned to the couch and sat facing Julian. Resting his feet on a small stool by the coffee table, he had rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt, revealing his tattooed arm. The first time she had seen the striking artwork she had been simultaneously mesmerized and taken aback by it. Julian didn’t look like the type of man who would mark his body so permanently and with a statement that evoked such curiosity. Contrasting his timeless, elegant style, the vision of his tattoo was jarring. Without a doubt it made him more compelling and Meredith was sure most people who saw it would assume, accurately, that there was a hidden side to Julian. The centerpiece of the tattoo was a raven. It went from right above his wrist and wrapped around his arm, ending at his shoulder. The rest of it, bringing the whole sleeve together, was a realistic and detailed work of shading. It was beautifully done. Every time she had asked him about his reasons for choosing to cover his whole arm with the tattoo of a bird, he had shrugged it off. He had told her it had been his attempt to cover up some street tattoos he had gotten when he was younger. Meredith hadn’t been fully convinced but she hadn’t pressed further. It wasn’t something he liked to discuss and with Julian she would be wise to pick her battles.
