by Maven, Ella
Control over my own life had been paramount to my mental health, and I’d worked hard to maintain it through my mid-to-late twenties. I’d turned thirty feeling confident and settled. That was, until I was abducted by the Rahgul and dumped on this alien planet. I’d tried to wrestle back control of my own life, but with war coming, everything felt uncertain. I’d never been good at sitting on the sidelines when my own well-being was involved.
I’d fought all my life. I couldn’t just stop fighting now, when everything that mattered was on the line, when the outcome meant life or death for all of us. I imagined pregnant Frankie in the hands of the Uldani, and I dug my nails into my palms as anger burned through me.
Frankie was one of the only reasons I hadn’t done something drastic to myself on this planet. Half out of my mind with fear, she’d been the only one to get through to me and show me the Drixonians wouldn’t harm us. I’d trusted her, and she hadn’t let me down. I refused to be a passive bystander should something happen to her.
Why was it that the Drixonians hadn’t consulted with us about what was happening? Why hadn’t they extended an offer to us to help? Hell, we weren’t even doing Rosie the Riveter stuff back at the homestead. Instead us women were being kept in the dark and locked away while the men went off to fight the war. This wasn’t the 1950s.
I knew the council met in a back room of the large dining hall building. I’d seen them trek back there too many times to count, like an ol’ boys club. Well I was going to see for myself what they were up to. Why they didn’t have a diverse council was beyond me. I should have a say in what was happening. For a race of warriors who came from a matriarchal society, they sure liked their all-male leaders.
After taking a small slug of Xavy’s spirits for courage, I slipped out of my room. Because everyone was nosey as hell around here, I tried to keep to the shadows, walking between the buildings and the walls instead of taking the direct route across the grounds to the dining hall. If either Bazel or Tabitha spotted me, I’d never get to my destination without a round of twenty-one questions.
I slipped into a side door of the dining hall that we mostly used to haul in supplies or take out trash. Easing the door shut behind me, I turned and surveyed my next move.
Getting back to the council room was surprisingly easy. Most of the warriors no longer gawked at us women, used to seeing us about the grounds. And I wasn’t known as a friendly one like Tabitha, who pre-Xavy would wave and blow kisses to any Drix who looked her way. Since I ignored most Drix, they in turn ignored me.
I shuffled my way along the wall while warriors stuffed their faces with lunch and then jogged down the hallway leading to the council room. There, a massive door blocked my way, which wasn’t surprising. The good news was that the door wasn’t soundproof. Booming voices could be heard from inside. I pressed my ear to the door and strained to make out the words.
“You only want us to disable one entrance.” I recognized the voice as belonging to Bosa, the Kaluma leader. “How are you going to invade Alazar? They’ll pick you off one by one before you can do any damage.”
“We’re sending one warrior.” That was Daz’s deep rumble. “Two at the most if we can get another one trained.”
“They’ll be vulnerable.”
“We’re aware.” His words sounded heavy, like he knew the weight of his decision. “But this is the only way. We have one warrior who knows the complicated system that the Uldani uses to run their tech. They hide behind their long-range weapons. We shut down their access to it, and the war is about fighting strength.” He paused. “We will win that fight.”
“We will fight at your side.” Kaluma answered. “You mentioned training?”
“We only have one warrior with the tech knowledge. He has advised he could use a partner, but as of yet, we haven’t found a suitable trainee.”
Wait, who were they sending in? They hadn’t mentioned that. And then it dawned on me as I recalled Nero’s massive wall of screens and the dashboard that seemed to control an entire planet. “No,” I whispered as a black hole opened in my gut at the thought of Nero entering Alazar all alone on what could very well be a suicide mission. I imagined Nero hurt. Taken prisoner. Killed. “No,” I choked out as I pressed my fist to my mouth.
And then I heard Nero’s quiet voice, so smooth and poised. “If necessary, I will take on the mission myself.”
My spine stiffened as my mind raced. I was a graphic designer by trade, but they had no idea of my abilities. I was a highly trained penetration testing freelancer in the banking industry. If the Drix needed someone to learn the tech, and fast, I was their woman.
Before I could second-guess my decision or come to my senses, I turned the doorknob and opened the door. Taking a step inside, half a dozen purple eyes turned to me, as well as a set of glowing blue. I only looked at one set as I spoke in a voice as loud and clear as I was able. “I’ll go.”
Four
Justine
I held Nero’s gaze, and but he didn’t react. He didn’t look away or censure me. I expected him to grab my arm and lead me from the room like a child, but he seemed ready to hear me out. I licked my lips and shifted my gaze to Daz. “I’ll be the trainee.”
Bosa started laughing, and although the Kaluma were some of the most attractive creatures I’d ever seen in my life, this Bosa was an arrogant asshole. I glared at him. “I don’t see you offering.”
His laughter ended abruptly as his lip curled into a sneer. “I already have a job, little girl. And so do you. Run along and make us some lunch.” His eyes glinted with a wicked smirk. “Return with less clothes on.”
A chair hit the wall, and then in a blur of blue, Nero’s hand wrapped around Bosa’s throat. “Talk to her like that again,” he spat in the Kaluma’s face, “and I don’t give a fleck what you can do, I’ll throw you into the freshas for the portcrewllers to feast on.”
Bosa’s lips curled as he tensed his shoulders “I’d like to see you try, Drix,” he hissed.
“Enough!” Daz roared, the one word echoing off the walls so loudly I was sure the entire dining hall heard it. “Nero, sit.”
“Yeah, Nero,” Bosa mocked. “Behave yourself.”
Daz’s fist slammed down on the table. “Bosa, I’m going to say this one time. As long as you’re here, you treat the females within these walls with respect. If you talk to any of them like that again, I’ll see you suffer for it, do you understand me?” His machets lifted for just a moment. Bosa’s gaze dropped to them, and his jaw clenched before he gave a tight nod. “Understood.”
“As for you, Justine,” he sighed heavily. “No.”
I jerked at the word. “What? What do you mean no?”
“It means you will absolutely not be entering Alazar with Nero to dismantle the Uldani’s electronic infrastructure,” Daz said with a long-suffering sigh. “What else would it mean?”
“I figured we’d have a discussion.” I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to be brave as everyone continued to stare at me. “I have skills. Machines and technology make sense to me. Give me a few days and I’ll learn what needs to be done.”
Daz looked like he was going to speak again, so I rushed to continue talking. “What do you have to lose? I heard Nero say he’d go alone if necessary. If I haven’t learned what I need to in time, then he goes himself. But if I have…” I shrugged. “Then I go too.”
Daz’s jaw clenched. “We cannot risk losing you.”
“You can’t risk losing Nero either, but you’re sending him into the lion’s den.”
Daz cocked his head with a confused frown.
I growled in frustration. “A salibri’s burrow. Where her cubs are. How does that analogy work?”
“It works well,” Nero murmured.
I decided to plead my case with him. “What do you think? Can you teach me?”
“Nero—” Daz began.
“I can teach you.” Nero ignored his drexel, which I knew was treading a thin line of disobedi
ence. “But I decide whether you’re ready. If I don’t think you know enough, then you don’t go.”
That was a slippery slope. I felt a little like he was appeasing me when he intended to say no at the end of our time no matter what. But I’d have to deal with that when the time came. “Okay.”
“What?” Daz sputtered as he whirled on Nero. “No. I said no.”
“Please, Daz.” I let a little bit of desperation bleed into my voice. “You have to understand this is my life too. My fate depends on the outcome of this war. I can’t sit here within these walls while you do all the work. I want to be in control of my destiny. It’s only fair.” I swallowed. “I’m not mated. I’m not pregnant. And I don’t intend to be. If something happens to me, then it’s no loss.” I ignored a rumbling growl coming from Nero.
Daz leaned forward and clasped his hands together on the table in front of him. He spoke in an even, measured tone. “You mean to tell me that Fra-kee and the other women will be okay with you going on this dangerous mission?”
“It’s not up to them,” I whispered, fighting back the wave of emotion at never seeing them again. “But I’ll be fighting for them as much as I’m fighting for myself. I want them to be happy with their mates and love their babies and live a full life. I want that for them, and I want to be a part of making that happen. I know I’m able. Let me, Daz. Please.”
Daz didn’t speak for a long time. He took his time gazing around the room, meeting his brothers’ eyes one at a time. I saw a few nods. Gar didn’t react at all. Xavy looked at me like I was a hero already.
And finally, Daz looked me square in the eye. “You have five rotations.”
I nearly wilted to the floor with relief. “Thank you, Daz. Thank you.”
“And I might be drexel, but on this one, I’m sitting out. You have to break the news to the females that you volunteered for this and face my mate’s wrath.”
I swallowed, knowing that was going to suck. “I’ll do it.”
He nodded to Nero, who rose from the table and approached me with a piercing look that sent a shiver down my spine. This was the one flaw in my plan I hadn’t considered. How could I stay away from Nero when we had to spend the next five rotations side-by-side?
Fuck it. I was preparing to take on the Uldani. I had enough willpower to resist one sexy Drixonian. Didn’t I?
Five
Nero
I hadn’t been able to look away from Justine. In a room full of some of the most powerful warriors in the galaxy, she stood with her chin up and her spine straight. There had barely been a quiver in her voice. I’d always thought she was beautiful, but she’d never been more beautiful than when she stood up for herself in that room.
Too bad I hated every word that had come out of her mouth. I’m not mated. I’m not pregnant. And I don’t intend to be. If something happens to me, then it’s no loss. How very wrong she was. I intended to mate her, I intended to put a few chits in her belly, and her loss would absolutely destroy me. I wasn’t sure what to do, be angry at her for barging into that meeting, or happy that we’d have to spend the next five rotations together.
We were both silent the entire trek back to my hut.
Justine walked at my side, staring straight ahead, but I could tell her mind was racing.
I’d learned that about Justine—she was always thinking, always analyzing. All the females had their strengths. Justine was smart. Cunning. She thought ahead. Usually. Today, she showed she still had a few impulsive decisions in her. When we reached my hut, I directed her inside and locked the door behind me. She sucked in a breath at the sound of the bolt sliding home.
I sat down at my meal table and slid the other chair to face me. With one finger, I gestured her to sit on it. Her jaw clenched, like she wanted to refuse my order, but with a toss of her hair, she sank down onto the seat with a plop. The leg creaked.
We sat like that, with the echoing of the chair leg’s surrounding us along with the harsh exhales of our breaths. I thought I had more time. Until this last meeting, I’d planned to continue my slow slide into Justine’s life. But that couldn’t happen now. We had five rotations before we left for Alazar. No way would I die on a mission before she knew just what it meant to be my mate.
I rubbed my palms together as I went with the first question on my mind. “Why were at the door of our council room?”
“I heard you all were meeting about the timeline of our attack on the Uldani being accelerated.” She spoke firmly with her hands folded in her lap
“But why?” I asked. “Did you plan from the beginning to offer yourself?”
“No. I just wanted to know what was going on.”
“If you would have talked to me after the meeting, I would have told you the plan.”
She shook her head. “I needed to hear for myself.”
“Why?”
“Stop asking me why,” she growled, showing her blunt little teeth.
“Then answer me.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. “You can’t make me.”
I was a patient warrior, but she was testing me. “If you can’t be honest with me, then this whole deal is off.”
Her eyes went wide as her bravado faded. “What?”
I was playing dirty. This was an attempt to get her to open up to me. I could observe Justine all I wanted, but I wouldn’t truly know her until I learned what made her the way she was. There was a hardness about her that the other females didn’t have. I respected it, but I wanted to know if she’d built that casing to shield her from something or if she was born like that.
She looked close to panicking. “But this doesn’t have anything to do with teaching me the Uldani tech.”
“I want to know your motive. That matters. When there’s a life or death decision to be made, I need to know where your loyalty is.”
“What, like you think I’m going to defect to the Uldani or something?” She laughed incredulously.
I shook I head. “No, but your motive matters. You said you’re doing this for your girls, but there was another reason. I could see it in your eyes.”
She scoffed. “You’re not that smart Nero. You can’t see into my soul.” I only watched her patiently. She eyed me. “Wait, can you see into my soul?”
I rubbed the nubs on my brow with a sigh, “Justine—”
“Fine,” she huffed as she gripped the sides of her seat. “Geez. Fine. I’ll bare my feelings to you.” Under her breath she muttered. “Suddenly everyone’s a therapist.”
“What’s—?”
“I like to have control.” She spat out. “Wait, that’s not really right. I don’t like not having control. When everything is happening to me, and I’m not an active participant in my life, I panic. I spent … a lot of my childhood having no control over anything—my clothes, my food, my home, my freaking parents. I don’t mean I came from a strict household. I mean I came from a home that was unsafe and scary. I couldn’t stop the strange men my mother dated from coming in the house. I couldn’t walk to the store for food for my sister and I, so I was dependent on whatever scraps my mom brought home from the diner where she worked.”
My cora pounded in my chest. I didn’t understand a lot of her words, but I understood scary and not safe. I understood that her mother didn’t take proper care of her.
“Your father?” I asked.
She shrugged. “That was another thing. He sometimes rolled in and would stay for a few days, but mostly he was gone. Just… gone.”
Anger burned in my gut, and I fisted my palms to keep from smashing something. “Your sire didn’t take care of you?”
She held my gaze and slowly shook her head. Her hair caught on her long lashes and she blinked it away. “No,” she whispered. “He didn’t.”
Blowing out a breath, she released her white-knuckle grip on her chair and cupped her knees. “When I was old enough to have control of my life, I took that seriously and worked hard not to be dependent on anyone el
se. Arriving on this planet…” her lip trembled before she drew it between her teeth. “That was my worst nightmare. I couldn’t understand any of you. I didn’t know who would hurt me. I felt so out of control. I managed to get that back within these walls, but now with the war looming, I’m panicking again. I can feel the tension in the air, and all I know is that I have to be a part of this. I need to have a hand in my own future, my own destiny. No one will fight harder for me than me.” She thumped her palm over her left breast.
“I’ll fight for you,” I whispered. I meant that in so many ways.
Her face softened. “I know you will. And that’s why I volunteered to do this with you. If I had to team up with Bosa, I’d just offer myself to the Uldani right now.”
“Bosa’s an arrogant fleck,” I muttered.
She smiled. “You got that right.”
“But he’ll do what needs to be done. He’s invested in seeing the Uldani defeated as much as us.”
“Okay,” she nodded. “I believe you.” Leaning forward in her chair, she looked at me imploringly. “So, was that enough? Will you teach me?”
“More than enough. And I promise you, Justine, that as long as I breathe, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you maintain that control.”
“Thank you,” she breathed, her shoulders visibly relaxing.
“But that’s not all.”
“Oh?” She leaned back in her chair with a slight smile. “What’s next on your interrogation agenda.”
“Since you don’t like feeling out of control, I’m going to give you a warning.”
Her eyes clouded. “A warning?”
“You have one rotation to get used to the idea that I’m your mate.”
Her mouth dropped and for a moment, she didn’t move. I wasn’t sure she breathed. Her jaw flapped before she squeaked out two words. “I’m sorry?”
