“You need me?” It sounds like he’s promising me the world.
He presses his forehead against mine and inhales. “Yes. In every way. I’m better when I’m with you.”
Closing my eyes, I swallow hard. “Then you need to tell Theo the truth. I won’t consider having any part in this if you don’t.” I want the world. I want every dream I’ve ever had to come true. But I won’t do it stepping on someone else’s toes. I had feelings for Theo once. And I never wanted to hurt him. I still don’t. There’s a man with oceans of emotion beneath that brooding exterior. I can hear it in his songs.
Marcus’s hand rests against the wall above my head as he pushes away from me and reaches into his pocket, retrieving a set of keys. “Fine.” He sighs, his expression hardening. “Just grab your fiddle. Everyone’s waiting for you.”
With that, he walks out, giving the patient girls something to squeal about on his exit. When the door closes, I’m alone for a blissful moment to calm down by fanning myself with the neck of my shirt. That man is trouble. And if I’m not careful, I’m going to be the reason the band falls apart and two brothers go to all out war. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place: the key to their success and the key to their undoing. Don’t I feel special?
I can never sleep with either of them. No matter what.
It’ll be a simple achievement where Theo is concerned. But with Marcus, it’s definitely going to be a struggle between my body and my brain. If the current state of my panties are anything to go by, he really knows how to get a woman going—even when he’s talking nefarious schemes. He’s certainly ruled by his ambition. And his dick.
I might need a chastity belt…
“You going to be much longer?” Kylie asks, giving me a shock when she seems to appear rather suddenly in the doorway. “We’ve got a bar out here to ru—” She stops talking and just stares at me.
“What?” I rapidly run my fingers over my hair, and check that I didn’t magically lose my clothes.
“You’re very flushed.”
“Oh.” I touch my cheeks and feel the heat of them through my palms.
“Who was that guy?”
I blow out my breath and push myself away from the wall. “That was Marcus. But we were just talking.”
She laughs. “Sure you were.”
Letting out a sigh, I move towards my locker to retrieve my bag. “Listen, I hate to do this but—”
“You need me to cover for you?” I wince a little as I nod. “Sure. But you know it’s gonna cost you.”
I roll my eyes and pull my Kindle from my bag. “How long this time?”
“Another month should do. Although, it’s short notice, so maybe I need it for two…”
“You know what? Keep it,” I say, hitching my bag on my shoulder. “As a thank you. I’ll just read on my iPhone.” I give her a hug as I leave, feeling fairly sure this might be the last time I ever work with her. “You’ve been really good to me, Kylie.”
“Just don’t forget me in your ARIA speech.”
When I leave, I detour past my apartment to collect my violin and find Marcus waiting for me outside on a motorbike. It makes me feel as though I’m being herded, as if he doesn’t trust me to show up without him. Shaking my head at him, I place my bag and case on the back seat of my car. The entire way to Theo’s place, I can see Marcus in my rear-vision mirror.
“You didn’t need to follow me. I know the way on my own,” I tell him when we arrive at Theo’s. He simply shrugs, following me inside to find the others in deep discussion as they sit around a laptop staring at the screen.
“What’s going on?” Marcus asks.
“We’re reading the comments on a YouTube video Erica sent through,” Jack says as he looks up from the screen. “I hope you’re not thinking of leaving the band, Naomi. The comments are blowing up with people who love you.”
I walk around behind them and they show me the screen. I lean forward, tucking my hair behind my ear as I scan comment after comment talking about how 'amazing that girl on the violin’ is, and how ‘her voice compliments Marcus perfectly’ and ‘they were born to play together’.
“Wow,” I breathe, pointing at the number of views it’s had.
“I know, right?” Lachlan nods. “I’m spinning out.”
“See why we need you?” Jack says.
I place my hand on his forearm and give him a squeeze. “I'm sorry. I just had some shit to deal with. But it should settle down soon. Right, Marcus?" I shift my gage to give Marcus a pointed look. He nods then taps Theo on the shoulder, inclining his head towards the door. “Thank you,” I mouth when Marcus glances my way. He bounces a shoulder like it’s no big deal. But it is to me. I’m hoping this whole misunderstanding will be cleared up so we can move forward and focus on making this band something fantastic. We can really be something. Together.
Sixteen
Theo
“I should break your fucking nose,” I grind out, fists curled at my sides as I fight the urge to beat the crap out of my brother. Again.
“Think of the band, Theo.” Marcus holds his hands out defensively. He’s always been too worried about his face to willingly enter a fistfight.
“I am thinking of the band,” I growl. “I’m thinking of all the years I spent in it hating you.”
“You hated me?”
“Of course I fucking did. You could have any girl you wanted, and you chose the only girl who wanted me. Then you threw her away like a used condom the next day. Why would you do that to me?”
“Because I wanted her for myself.”
“And when you didn’t have her you lied?”
“You’ve always held contempt towards any girl who'd stoop so low she’d sleep with the dirty bastard you think I am. If you believed I had sex with her, I knew you'd never look at her again. So, yeah. I lied. I wanted to turn you away.”
“You’re a total dick. A selfish, conceited prick. Out of all the girls who would cut off a tit to be with you, why did you have to want her?” I’m looking at my brother, the kid who used to steal my Lego and break apart the designs so he could make a giant city to play Godzilla in. He always wanted to be larger than life. Now that he is, I'm not sure who I’m looking at anymore.
“Probably for the same reason you wanted her. She’s like sunshine and fucking rainbows. When she enters a room people smile. And they don't even know why they’re smiling. They just are because she’s there and everything is better when she's around.” Fuck. I think he’s in love with her. I never thought him capable of loving anything besides his own reflection.
“Why didn’t you ask her out before that night? Why did your desire need to take her away from me?” Because I loved her too. Whether it was a lie or not, he robbed me of that. He took those feelings away with his greedy little fingers.
Blowing out his breath, he runs his hand across the back of his neck. “Do you want me to be honest?”
“It’d be a nice fucking change.”
“Because I wasn’t going to lose the only girl I ever cared about to the world’s biggest freak.”
World’s biggest freak. I run my teeth over my bottom lip as I contemplate how to respond to his jibe. I know he was embarrassed by my goth phase. I know he hid the fact we were related to his friends. But still... we’re brothers. I should mean more to him than that. So I try. I really try to keep my cool, but in the end, my head bobs slowly then I take a quick step before my fist jabs into his gut. Oof. I catch his shoulder as he stumbles forward, holding him up and rubbing his back as I encourage him to breathe. I may be filled with disdain for the guy, but he's still my little brother, and mamma always told me to take care of him.
“Here’s the deal,” I say as he straightens back up and fills his lungs with air. "We’re going to do this tour with Radio Silence. You’re going to get up on that stage with Naomi and wow everyone who's watching. Then you’re going to find yourself a new manager and a new drummer, because you and I are going our separate way
s. I’m done with you, brother. I am done.”
His eyes bulge. “What about the songs?”
“You’ll be paying me for them until people quit listening to them.”
“What about new music?”
“You can write it yourself. I seem to recall you bragging about your ability to make magic with Naomi.”
“And what about Naomi?”
I lean in and speak between clenched teeth. "The fact you asked about her last tells me you never really deserved her. So if you touch her, I’ll do more than punch you in the gut and walk away. I'll beat the fuck out of you, and I’ll take everything.”
He straightens has shoulders and nods in slow motion. “What about the rest of the band? You’ve always done what's best for the band.”
“That was before I found out my brother lied to my face for years. Now I'm doing what’s best for Theo.”
“Fine,” Marcus says, stepping back to make his escape. “I never needed you, anyway. I’ve been letting you write the songs so you could feel more important than you are. You’ve been dead weight for years.”
I nod once and pull out a cigarette. “You tell yourself that, brother. Maybe it’ll be true someday.”
Naomi
“You coming?” Marcus asks as we finish packing up our gear at the end of rehearsal. He’s on his way out with Lachlan and Jack, but I’d like to hang around for a minute since Theo has been quiet all evening.
“Head off without me,” I say. “I want to go over some of the tracks Theo recorded. I think I’m coming in a little late on Me, Myself and You. I’d like to work on my timing”—I swing my gaze to where Theo is standing lighting a cigarette—“if that’s OK with you, of course?”
He blows a puff of smoke as he flicks his lighter closed. “Knock yourself out.”
“See you tomorrow,” I say to Marcus, who’s still standing in the doorway, his eyes moving between me and Theo.
“I can stay if you like.”
“That’s not necessary,” Theo says, his voice toneless.
“I wasn’t asking you,” Marcus responds, and I’m gripped by the discomfort of the challenge in the air. Is this because of me? Or something else as well?
“There’s no need for either of you to stay,” I say, looking between the both of them. “I’m capable of working on a track by myself.”
“I live here,” Theo reminds me.
“I know that. But you don’t have to stay in the studio. Although, if my being here is going to cause a drama I can send myself the track and do this at home.”
“You don’t need to go,” Marcus states. “We will.”
“Safe drive, brother.” Theo sucks back on his cigarette as Marcus hesitates in the doorway then leaves after I give him a smile.
“See you tomorrow,” I call after him.
“I’ll leave you to it.” Once Marcus is gone, Theo makes his way to the door that connects his house to the studio. “Lock up when you leave.”
“Did he tell you?” I ask before he can make his escape.
He pauses with his hand on the doorknob. “Yes.”
“And?”
With a sigh, he releases the handle then turns to face me. “And…OK.”
“OK?” I expected a bigger reaction than that. From the way he told it, he and Marcus had been at odds ever since that night. Having the truth should have alleviated some of that tension, surely. “That’s all you have to say?”
“What more do you want me to say, Naomi? It was years ago. A lot has happened since then. We’re all different people.”
“I just thought you and I—”
“Could what? Pick up where we left off? Magically become friends again?”
“I—”
“How about I sit on that couch over there? You can straddle me and stick your tongue down my throat while I feel you up and you tell me how awesome you think I am.”
I take a step back and shake my head. “Theo.”
“No? That’s what I thought. Because things are different now. It got fucked up when Marcus lied and we don't get a do-over.”
Pressing my lips together, I fight becoming overly emotional and set my jaw. “I was hoping we could at least talk and clear the air. Start our friendship fresh now that everyone is being honest.”
“Honest.” He bobs his head as he looks at the tip of his cigarette, almost burned out. “I’ll give you honest, Naomi. I’ll tell you exactly what I told Marcus. I’m done.”
“Done?”
“With the band. With him. With you. I’ve wasted so much energy on something that didn’t even happen. I’m fucking over this. I’m out.”
“Out how?” This is exactly what I was trying to avoid when I demanded Marcus tell the truth. The band needs Theo. His songs are our heart.
“When this tour is done. I'm leaving the band.” He moves over to the shelving where his ashtray lives and stubs out his cigarette. “You can keep playing the songs. But you'll need to find a new drummer and write your own stuff moving forward.” He sniffs slightly and shoves his hands in his pockets, his tone losing its aggression, shifting more to one of accepting defeat. It gives me a pang in the centre of my chest. He can’t leave.
“That’s what you want? To walk away after all these years right when the band is set to take off?” I shake my head. “I don’t want to be part of that reality.”
“Well, it’s not your choice. It’s mine. And I'm done. I’ve been looking out for Marcus since we were kids. Keeping him from messing up, and I’m exhausted. He needs to do this without me.”
“What about the rest of us?”
“You survived this long, Naomi. I think you’ll be just fine.”
Twisting my mouth to the side, I shake my head. “No. I won’t. Because if you’re leaving. Then I’m leaving too. I made Marcus come clean to you because I didn’t want to be the reason the band broke up.”
“You’re not the reason. He is.”
“Matiari isn’t Matiari without you. Marcus might be the voice, and I might be the melody, but you are the soul, Theo. Your talent for songwriting is the reason we are where we are.”
His tongue runs over his teeth while he glances at the ground. “You’ll be fine. Marcus can write. So can you. It’ll be a new direction.”
“It’ll be the wrong direction”
“I’m not changing my mind.”
I press my lips together and nod. “OK, then.” I kneel and secure my violin in its case, latching it closed before I stand.
“Where are you going?”
“Tell the others I’m sorry about the tour. But I’m sure there’ll be more opportunities. They'll just need to find them without me. And I suppose without you too.” I’m not even bluffing.
“Wait.” He starts towards me, intercepting my path before I can make it to the door. “You can’t leave now. You have four other people counting on you. There might not be another chance.”
“What’s the point in going through this if the band will break up, anyway? I'd rather go back to tending bar. I’m sure they haven’t filled my position yet.”
“It’s not breaking up. I'm the drummer. I'm replaceable. You’re the sound. You’re the entire reason this opportunity presented itself. Not because of Marcus’s voice. Not because of the way the other two play my songs. Because of you and the magic you bring to our sound. They can’t replace you, Naomi. If you leave, they lose everything.”
“If you leave, I leave. You are not replaceable, Theo. The band doesn’t exist for me without you and your songs.”
The muscle in his jaw tightens then he slaps his hand against the wall. “Fuck!”
I flinch slightly, but I don’t dare move. “What’ll it be,Theo? Do we end it now? Or do we ride this rocket to the moon together?”
He drags his hand through his dark locks as he steps back, letting out a frustrated growl. "This is blackmail."
“No. It’s incentive.”
Seventeen
Naomi
“That wo
rks.” Theo leans back in his chair as he lowers his headset to the desk. Once I convinced him to stick it out with the band, we knuckled down and worked together on my timing issue. The man lives and breathes music. I don’t care what he thinks leaving the band would accomplish, he’s worked too long and too hard to let this go over a sibling rivalry. Especially when I’m at the centre of that row. I couldn’t stand it if I drove them apart.
“Just as well,” I say, inspecting my left middle finger. “I’m starting to rub away my callous.”
Leaning forward, his chair creaks as he flicks off the recording equipment and closes his MacBook. “You need to learn your limits. You can’t work without rest.”
“Is that what you were doing that day when you were banging out a song in your underwear? You looked like you’d been up all night.”
He rubs a hand over the growing stubble on his face. “Point taken.”
“Looks like we’re as bad as each other. How is that song coming along, anyway?”
Meeting my eyes for a moment, he sighs as he checks his watch. “It’s past midnight, Naomi. I’m tired.”
“So answer the question and I’ll leave.”
“Is that how this works now?”
I give my violin a quick wipe over before I place it in my case. “We used to be friends, Theo. I just want you to stop being so pigheaded and remember what that was like.”
He looks at me for a moment before he rests his elbows on his knees and clasps his hands in front of him. “Um… it’s coming along. I’ve been working on the lyrics since you helped me get the melody down.”
I smile. “See? That wasn’t so hard.” He sits back and rolls his eyes. “Do you think… I could hear it?”
“Jesus. You like pushing your luck.” I like pushing him. I like seeing that spark light up in the back of his eyes. I like sharing music with him.
“Remember how you and I would ditch class and hide out in the old auditorium? We’d work on writing new music together and talk about how one day our creations would mean something? Those are my favourite memories of high school, and until recently, I thought I’d completely lost the person I made those memories with. I really miss that guy, Theo. I miss watching him play. I miss hearing him sing. I miss making music together.”
Beautiful Series Boxset, books 1-4 Page 97
