“I’m not going to propose just because you’re pregnant, but I do want to be a part of this. That kid’s mine, too.” I don’t back down. If I flew all the way over here, it’s to tell her I plan to be in this child’s life. I know that jumping into a marriage just because of a baby isn’t exactly a solution, but I’m going to be there for Allyson and this kid. If it means spending more time with her, then lucky me.
Allyson mutely blinks a few times. She finally nods and begins eating her lunch. I’ve got about an hour and fifteen minutes before she has to be at work, and I refuse for them to be silent awkward moments.
“How are you feeling?” I ask right before I take a bite of my own sandwich. The chicken is juicy and perfectly seasoned and covered in melted cheese. “This is really good, by the way.” Almost as good as the subs I love from Meat Me in Richmond.
“I love this place.” She wipes her mouth with a napkin. “I’m okay. I haven’t one-hundred-percent processed it yet.”
“I get that,” I nod. “I mean, I’m not in your shoes, but it’s kinda hard to believe.”
“Yeah,” Allyson sighs. “I’ll be okay. I should mention, though, that my mom knows.”
My eyes widen, and my stomach falls into a dark pit. “Huh?” My eyebrows lift as Allyson looks at me with narrowed eyes.
“You’re panicking,” she points out.
“I’m not.” I tug the collar on my t-shirt, taking a deep breath.
“Uh, huh.” She nods, her lips pinched.
“What did she say?” I hold my breath while I wait for her response. The last thing I want is for Charlene to hate me.
“She said everything would work out.” Allyson’s lips press together.
There’s so much I want to say, and nothing is coming out. We sit in silence for a few minutes, eating our food. This is a mess because of my relationship with her family, and I know Easton is going to kick my ass when he finds out. But I made my choice, and now I have to deal with the consequences.
When I can’t take the awkward tension that’s settled over the table, I clear my throat and say, “Have you gone to the doctor?”
“Yeah, on Friday. I wanted to make sure the pregnancy tests weren’t damaged and giving me false positives. Wishful thinking at the moment, but I’m pregnant. Everything looks okay.”
“Do you resent me?” The question spits out of my mouth faster than I can catch it, but hearing her say it was wishful thinking she wasn’t pregnant made me think she might. It isn’t ideal, I get that, but does she hate me because of this?
Allyson shakes her head. “If I resented you, then I’d have to resent myself. We both did this, so I’m not pointing the finger at you and playing innocent. We made a choice, and well,” she rubs her stomach, “we got an unexpected surprise.” Her eyebrows rise and fall in a quick motion.
“I won’t have an abortion, even if you ask me to. I can’t do it.” Allyson shakes her head sadly, and my heart goes into overdrive.
“I’d never ask that. If I didn’t want to be in the baby’s life, I’d tell you and move on. I wouldn’t force you to make a choice that you don’t want.”
She’s talking as if she doesn’t know me at all. Although, I guess when it comes to relationships and women, she doesn’t know me and is probably using her judgment of what she thinks my bachelor life is like to judge this situation and my reaction.
“I did think about adoption and giving a family who’s always wanted a child their happy ending.”
“What?” I jump in, more forceful than I mean to. Allyson’s eyes bug out as she leans back on her chair.
“Sorry, sorry.” I settle down. “Here’s the thing, I want this baby. I’ll help you. I can’t imagine knowing a child of mine is being raised by another family when I’m capable of raising him.”
“Or her,” Allyson interrupts me.
“Or her,” I echo. “What I’m saying is that yes, this is totally out of my element, but knowing I have the means to raise this baby and then giving that up isn’t what I envisioned.”
“So, you’re saying that you really do want to be a part of this?” Her chin tilts toward her chest, and she looks at me with raised eyebrows.
“Yes, that’s what I said earlier.” I lean forward, placing my elbows on the table. “I’m here for this.” I reach for her hand and squeeze.
Allyson’s gaze falls to our hands and then back to my eyes, her face serious and shoulders tense. I’ve been wanting to touch her again. Teasing her over messages is fun, but it’s not what I want since we woke up on the same bed together.
“How do we do that? I live here, and you live in Richmond.” I’ve tossed that question in my mind over a hundred times.
“We’ll figure it out. I promise.” I nod with a small smile.
Allyson releases a deep breath and her eyes water. I give her hand one more squeeze in an attempt to comfort her.
“We should get going,” Allyson says softly, and I hate seeing the sadness in her eyes.
Nodding, I grab our garbage and throw it away before following her out of the deli, my hand in the small of her back.
As we make our way back to her apartment so I can grab my suitcase, I ask, “Can we get together tonight when you’re done with work?”
“Yeah, sure. I guess we still have a lot to talk about. What hotel are you staying in?”
“It’s called Hotel Real. It was the closest I could find to here.”
Allyson giggles at my response, and I furrow my eyebrows as I wait for her to tell me what’s so damn funny.
“Sorry,” she says, shaking her head. “It’s Re-al,” she corrects my pronunciation of the hotel, saying it in Spanish instead of real in English as in this is a real shit-show. “It means royal.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I brought my Spanish-English dictionary with me.”
“Did you really?” Her nose scrunches up.
“Yup.” I open one of the compartments on the outside of my bag and pull out my dictionary. Allyson laughs again, and I don’t give three shits that she’s laughing at me so long as I can see the light around her green eyes return.
“This will help me navigate these streets and not look like a complete ass,” I defend.
“And paging through a dictionary makes you look as if you know what you’re doing?” She quirks an eyebrow and gives me a smart-ass smile. Fuck, in this moment, I want to try that baby-making skill again. She’s already pregnant, so why the hell not?
“Also, I’d expect a tech whiz to use technology for translations, not a physical dictionary,” she giggles.
Taking a step toward her, I hold up my dictionary. “This is how the cool kids do it. Besides, I’m going to need a crash course in Spanish if I’m going to be around. Unless you want to give me some one-on-one courses.” I lower my head, whispering the last part. Allyson gasps, and her full lips part. Her silence and frantic, wide eyes telling me she isn’t as immune to me as she’d like me to believe.
“I need to leave.” Her voice is soft.
Stepping back, I nod and grab my bag. “I’ll come by when you’re home.” When I lean in to kiss her cheek, she freezes. It takes everything in me not to wrap her in my arms and hold her, keep her safe and calm. As much as I want to, I also don’t want to make her uncomfortable.
But if there’s one thing I’m certain about, it’s that this baby is mine, and so is she… I just need to make her see that.
chapter 14
Camden
After a much-needed shower, I grab my handy dictionary, despite how much Allyson laughed at it, and head out of my hotel. My room is spacious enough for me, and the entire hotel has a modern feel that caught me by surprise since the exterior seems as if it’s from another century, and if I knew anything about art history or architecture, I could probably name the time period. Regardless, it was a contrast to the interior and a nice surprise.
I walk around the city with no real direction. I didn’t exactly come here with the idea of being a tourist
, but I can’t stay stuck in that hotel until Allyson finishes work. So many things have been crossing through my mind these last few days. The first one is how we’re going to co-parent when we live in different countries.
I wasn’t joking when I told Allyson I wanted more than one night, and now it seems as if in some capacity, we’ll have a lifetime. As much as the idea of something like this would have made me run in the opposite direction in the past, this situation isn’t as scary as I thought. One look at Allyson and I want to protect her. This isn’t about me; it’s about something greater. Something I never put much thought into.
I’m out of my element and traveling into unknown territory. Bachelorhood? I’ve got that down pat. Relationships? Not so much. Parenthood? I don’t have a fucking clue. But hell, I’ve never been afraid of a challenge, and there’s no time like the present to grab the bull by the horns and ride it out.
I look up at the buildings I walk by, cars and buses buzzing by as locals move around me in a hurry. I chuckle to myself when I walk by a Dunkin’ Donuts and continue going until I come across a terrace full of people.
I take a seat and order a beer. While I wait for my drink, I open the dictionary and look up random words in an attempt to give myself a crash-course in Spanish, which I know is a flawed plan. I thank the waiter when he brings my beer and pay him on the spot.
With a refreshing sip of my beer, I lean back in my chair, watching people walk by. My mind wanders to Allyson and what her life is like here. I only get a glimpse based on what she posts on social media, but I can’t help but imagine her living the day-to-day here. Grocery shopping, lounging in her apartment, taking the subway.
I wouldn’t ask her to leave her job to move back to the US because we’re having a baby together. We’re going to need a plan. One where I’ll visit every chance I get since I can work from anywhere, and maybe have Allyson fly home during the holidays. So many scenarios run through my mind—missing milestones, the child not recognizing me, not being present if something happens, not reading him or her bedtime stories.
I’ve been turned inside out with this news, and all I can think about lately is being a father, of things I’d want to do with the kid, ways to protect him or her, what I’d want to teach as the baby grows. I never thought about things like this before. Now, I can’t get it out of my mind. It’s non-stop.
When I finish my beer, I stand and continue walking, getting a feel for the city, and stopping at any place that calls my attention. When I’m tired of walking, I head back to my hotel room and do some work in hopes that the last hour before Allyson gets out of work goes by faster than these last two hours have.
- - - - -
I take the elevator up to Allyson’s apartment after she confirmed she was home. My heart is racing, although I’m usually calm and confident. This is different, and I know we’re going to have to tell Easton soon. He’s going to kick my ass, but I’ll be lucky if he stops at that instead of completely writing me off.
Inhaling deeply, I run a hand through my damp hair and knock on the door.
“Hey,” Allyson opens right away.
“Hey.” I smile as I walk in, closing the door behind her.
When I told her the hotel recommended a restaurant for dinner, she got super excited, telling me she loves the place. A ton of exclamations marks followed her response. But right now, seeing her in tight jeans and a low-cut shirt, all I want to do is walk her back to her room and test the rumor about pregnancy making women crave more sex.
“You’re going to love La Finca. They’ve got fresh food, all locally grown and raised.” Allyson is talking, but I’ve been staring at her instead of paying attention.
“Camden?” She lifts her eyebrows. “Are you ready?”
That’s when I notice she has her purse flung over her shoulder and keys in her hand.
“Oh, yeah, sorry.” I open the door and lead her out of her apartment, waiting while she locks up.
“How was your afternoon?” I ask, focusing on our conversation.
“Good,” Ally smiles. The worried woman I came face-to-face with earlier is gone, and the woman I’ve always known is back. God, she’s gorgeous. “How about you? Did you look around the city?”
“I walked a bit, had a beer on a terrace, and then went to the hotel to do some work.”
“As long as you don’t hack any more of my private information,” she jabs, and I chuckle. I much prefer her like this—easy-going and funny. I know our situation is awkward, having slept together when I’ve known her since she was a teen, and now the pregnancy, but there’s no reason we can’t be ourselves while navigating all of this.
“I promise,” I place a hand over my heart. Allyson rolls her eyes, the hint of a smile tipping her lips up.
“How long are you here for?” She looks at me out of the corner of her eye.
“I got an open-ended ticket.”
“What? Really?” She turns to me, her eyebrows pinched together, causing her nose to scrunch up in the cutest way.
I tap my finger on her nose. “Yup. We’ve got a lot to discuss, and I’d like to meet the doctor if that’s okay.”
“Oh, yeah, of course.” Allyson scratches her forehead as the lines between her brows deepen.
I stop walking and turn to her. “I mean it when I say I’m all in for this. I don’t want you to feel like you’re doing this alone. I’ve even been thinking about names,” I smile wide.
“You have?” Her voice shakes.
“Yup. I’ve got options for a boy and girl, although I’ve got a feeling I’m going to have a football player.”
Her face turns to stone, as if the realization of everything hits her at once. “I haven’t even begun to think about any of that. I haven’t even wondered what gender it is. I’ve been so caught up in my worries and fear of having to tell you, my mom, and my brother, that I feel as if this is still a dream. Names?” She shakes her head, turning and walking forward again but slower this time.
I jog up the few steps to reach her and place my hands on her shoulders to stop her, turning her to face me. “Hey, you’ve got a lot on your plate right now. I’m not the one growing a child inside of me. You don’t have to have it all done at once. We’ll go little by little.”
“You’re really going to help me?” She looks up at me through her long lashes, her stunning green eyes pleading for support as they mist over.
I pull Allyson in for a hug, burying my face in her hair, taking in every sweetness she’ll give me. “You aren’t alone in this, Kiwi.” When her arms wrap around my body, and I hear soft sniffles, I vow to make this as easy for her as possible.
“Thank you,” her strangled voice cuts through me.
“Don’t thank me. It takes two to tango, so it also takes two to clean up afterward.”
She giggles softly, shaking her head. “That doesn’t make much sense, but oddly enough, I understood it.”
“We’re gonna be all right.” I drape my arm around her shoulder and continue on to the restaurant. In this moment, we’re two lost people in search of some light to shine down and guide the way. What I know for sure is that having her by my side to experience this with makes it better.
I enjoyed my time with women and then moved on when we went our separate ways. Until the moment a message like that comes through, and you feel as if the rug’s been pulled out from under you, I never really wondered what would happen if a woman I slept with ended up pregnant.
I’m still trying to get my footing after that, but it all feels okay with Allyson here. As much as a thought like that might scare another man, it excites me. And I’m certain it’s because of the woman walking beside me, who has yet to pull away from my hold. I smile at that thought, knowing she’s letting me comfort her.
When we arrive at the restaurant and are seated, Allyson asks me for the names I came up with.
I lean forward a bit, the tablecloth wrinkling where my arms press on the table. “If it’s a girl, Chloe, Amelia, Lynn,
Alaina, Olivia, or Annabelle. For a boy, I was thinking Jasper, Isaac, Liam, or Camden, after me, clearly.” I smirk, and Allyson narrows her eyes. Camden wasn’t an option, but I’m sure it would annoy her that I thought about naming the baby after me and not her.
“Not gonna happen.” She shakes her head.
I tip my head back and laugh. “I’m just messing with you.”
“I know,” she rolls her eyes.
“In all seriousness now,” I begin, so tempted to reach for her hand across the table but hold myself back, “I did think that if it’s a boy, we could give him your dad’s name as his middle name.”
Allyson’s eyes soften as a sad smile marks her face. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was feeling something here.
“That’s really thoughtful, Camden. Thank you.” She nods, biting down her lips as her eyes water.
“You don’t have to thank me.” This time I don’t back down from reaching for her, and I grab her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. The look that passes from Allyson to me speaks volumes, and I’m starting to believe this could be more than two people on the journey to co-parenting.
chapter 15
Allyson
If someone had told me that one day I’d be sitting across from Camden at a restaurant, talking about our child, I would have spit wine all over their face as I laughed at their absurd suggestion. And yet, here I am.
After telling me he’d use my dad’s name for our son’s middle name as a way of honoring my dad’s memory, I about melted into a puddle of goo. I’m still in shock seeing Camden here, and now he’s telling me all this, throwing out baby name suggestions as if we’ve had years to prepare for this, as if it’s something we’ve both been waiting for.
I stare into his dark eyes as the rough pad of his hand tickles mine. I allow myself a second to pretend that we aren’t two friends gathered to discuss our child like a business meeting. But that’s all we are and will ever be, friends. I’m not sure when I started to want more from Camden, but a small voice inside of me tells me it was before we even slept together. If I had never thought about it, not even a subconscious slip, I wouldn’t have slept with him.
The Right Kind of Wrong: A Brother's Best Friend Romance Page 9
