Allyson tilts her head. “I want that, but I don’t know how we can make it happen. I have three years left living in Madrid before I decide if I want to stay in this office or move back to Richmond. A long-distance relationship with a child just isn’t ideal.”
“Shhh…” I kiss her. “Day by day.”
She nods quickly and takes a deep breath. “Okay.”
I smack her ass. “Go get comfy. I’m going to turn on Netflix.” I kiss her deeply, erasing every doubt swimming in her head and replacing them with memories of me, of us, of how good we could be together.
chapter 20
Allyson
It’s been three weeks since Camden flew back home. What was supposed to be a five-day trip has become uncertain as he tries to work with his client—something about a bug or hacker that I didn’t quite understand when he explained it to me.
He missed the appointment I had for my prenatal testing. When the doctor asked me if I wanted to know the gender once the results came in, I said no. It felt wrong knowing without Camden, even if I never expected him to be such a big part of this pregnancy as he’s become.
I miss him, though. I miss what we could be if life hadn’t taken us down different paths. But somehow, we meet in the middle of our journey before moving along again. Except, this baby is forever. I feel split between two lives. I can only do so much. The choice would be to leave my job and figure out as we go, but doubts about resentment and failed relationships sneak into my mind.
I reach for my phone and find Noel’s name in my contact list and call her. I chew on my bottom lip while I wait for her to answer, hoping she isn’t busy. After numerous rings, I hang up and try Berkeley. I get the same result.
I sink into the couch and grab the remote as if surfing through channels would make a difference. Any other moment of my life, I would be heading out for dinner or drinks with my friends. Now, I’m home, questioning life while my friends are questioning me why I’ve imprisoned myself at home lately.
It’s not like me to turn down their invitations, but until I tell my boss that I’m pregnant, I don’t want to tell my co-workers. Thankfully, I have a video conference with my boss this week. I’m over the first trimester, so it’s safe to share this news. The only thing stopping me is what will happen with my job. Obviously, women go on maternity leave all the time, but I’m the only person in the Madrid office that does my job, and that is the clear communicator between this office and the one in Richmond.
I take a deep breath to slow my racing thoughts.
“Everything will be okay,” I say aloud.
My phone rings, and I quickly reach for it, grateful for the distraction. I smile, seeing Camden’s name on the screen.
“Hey,” I answer, putting the phone on speaker and placing it on my chest as I get comfortable on the couch. My feet rest on the coffee table, and I slouch down, sinking into the cushions.
“Hi, how are you?” His familiar voice soothes me, and a smile brightens my face.
“I’m good, and you? How’s work?”
“It’s okay. I hate that it’s taking longer than I thought it would. I should’ve been done weeks ago and been back there with you.” Camden sighs, the frustration evident in his hard tone.
“It’s okay,” I whisper. I don’t even know what exactly we are or our limits.
“It’s not, at least not for me, but I’ll let you pretend you’re okay with this.” I could almost hear him roll his eyes.
“This would’ve been the plan all along. I live here, and you live there.” How does he not see that this is our life? We don’t get to be one big happy family, even if we wanted to unless one of us made a sacrifice.
“Kiwi, I don’t want what would’ve been. I want what I want, and that’s you,” he says firmly.
“So what do you expect? I leave my job and move back there? I can’t exactly ask for a transfer. I signed a contract committing to five years here.”
“Breathe,” Camden says softly, and I obey him. “I’m not asking for any of that. I would never ask you to leave your job for me. We just need time and a plan,” he placates.
I take a few deep breaths, closing my eyes. “Yeah.”
“I know that yeah was dismissive, but I’ll forgive you because you’re pregnant and hormonal,” his tone turns teasing.
“Don’t tell a pregnant woman she’s hormonal unless you want to be on the receiving end of said hormones.”
“Babe, I’ll be on the receiving end of whatever you want to give me.” My stomach flips, and my body reacts to his words, my core clenching.
“Camden…” I whisper, blinking back tears.
“I mean it.” He’s serious now.
I want to tell him so many things, but they all get trapped in my throat.
“Now,” Camden lightens up. “Let me talk to my child.”
I smirk and move to lay back on the couch, placing the phone on my swollen belly. When he sees me, he’s going to be surprised.
“He’s all ears. Well, not literally since they haven’t developed yet, but you know what I mean,” I babble.
Camden chuckles and begins speaking to our baby. He’s been doing this every time we talk, wanting to make sure the baby recognizes him even if he’s not physically here. He wants to create a bond, and hell if I don’t become a ball of mush hearing him speak to our child.
“Hey, baby boy.” I snort when I hear him.
“If this baby is a girl, she’s going to have an identity complex,” I joke.
“Remember, we still have a wager pending. I guess we’ll have to wait to find out the gender, but I’m confident it’s a boy.”
“I’m pretty sure you claimed the prize of that bet tenfold.”
“And I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” his deep voice grows husky.
Flashbacks of our times together have been forefront in my mind. The way he feels, his touch, his gruff words, and the gentle way he holds me. Everything about Camden has been a surprise, and what I’m feeling for him is deeper than I could’ve prepared for.
“Now, let me talk to my child.” I hold the phone on my stomach and smile as I listen to Camden tell the baby about his job, Richmond, and his family.
“I’m gonna teach you to throw a football, and I’ll take you to games,” he promises. “Can’t wait to see you wearing your first sports outfit I got you.”
My eyes water, and I don’t blink back the tears this time. They flow down my cheeks in a combination of joy and sadness.
“Your momma is taking good care of you, and I’ll be there soon,” Camden continues talking as my emotions swirl like a tornado. He must notice when I breathe in loudly because he stops talking for a moment.
I rub my belly with my other hand, grateful that he’s at least being a part of this journey somehow. I close my eyes when he starts talking again, telling the baby all the plans he has. It’s overwhelming, and each time I hear him speak to my stomach, I get choked up in emotion.
“Kiwi,” he says.
“Yeah?” I whisper in a shaky voice.
“Wish I was there.”
“Me too, Camden.” There’s no need to deny it. I want him here with me. He knows it, and I know it.
“Soon,” he promises like he has each time, but being in town means that more clients are trying to get a hold of him to see him in person, which is making it even more difficult for him to fly back. It’s his job to work for them, so I don’t expect him to turn them down and rush over to me.
“What do you have planned this weekend?” he asks.
“Nothing. My colleagues are asking me to go out, but since they don’t know I’m pregnant, I don’t want to go and not drink and raise questions. It will be easier once I tell them.”
“You’re talking to your boss this week, right?”
“Yes, I can’t wait any longer. Besides, I’m starting to show, and I only have so many loose shirts I can get away with.”
Camden chuckles. “Send me a picture of your belly.”
I lift my shirt and open my camera on my phone, snapping a picture and sending it to him. “Check your messages,” I tell him.
Camden groans. “I want to see you in person.”
“Hopefully, soon.”
“I know. I hope so, too. Easton’s flying over here this weekend. He’s going to visit your mom, and he wants to talk. He had told me before I flew back to Richmond that he wanted to talk in person whenever I was in town.”
“Oh…” My eyes widen, and stomach contracts with my deep breath. “Have you spoken to him at all?”
“Nope. I have no idea what he’s going to say.”
“I’ve spoken to him here and there, mostly through text message when he asks how I’m feeling, but he hasn’t brought you up. I figured he was trying to ignore that part of this equation.”
“Thanks for the boost of confidence,” Camden deadpans.
I giggle. “Sorry! I didn’t mean it in a bad way, but he probably didn’t want to think about his best friend and little sister shacking up.” It’s the truth. Easton is protective of me, and it must not be easy to know that Camden and I had sex.
“I’m sure it will be okay. He probably wants to talk about where you stand. He’s your best friend, Camden, and Easton wouldn’t just turn his back on you because of this. He’s loyal to the bone.”
“I know that, but I feel like I was the one who wasn’t loyal.”
“Hey… That’s not true. We slept together, and I just so happened to have gotten pregnant. You didn’t manipulate me into doing anything I didn’t want to.”
“Now, this conversation is making me hard thinking about you.” His voice grows heavy.
“Then, touch yourself.” I surprise myself with my request.
Camden’s voice stutters. “Wh-what?” His own surprise is obvious, but I don’t let it stop me.
“Touch yourself. Tell me how hard you are,” my breathing grows heavier.
“Fuck, Allyson, I never took you for the phone sex kinda girl.” He hisses through his teeth, and my guess is that his hand is wrapped around his dick.
“It’s a first for me,” I confess. “Are you touching yourself?”
“Everything about you makes me hard as steel, no pun intended this time.”
I giggle. “I know what you mean. You turn me on, too.”
“Oh, yeah? How much? Are you wet?” His questions rush out, and I hear him groan. I close my eyes as I imagine him stroking his dick.
“Soaked,” I respond when I sneak a hand into my underwear and feel my slickness. “I wish you were here to take care of me.”
“Soon, babe,” he growls. “Fuck… I want to be inside you.”
“Yeah,” I sigh, lazily rubbing circles over my clit, pretending it’s his rough hand pleasuring me.
“This feels so good, Kiwi. The way you make me feel. You drive me wild, those big green eyes when you look up at me right before you take me in your mouth.”
I moan at his words, thrusting a finger into my pussy. It’s not the same as if he were here, but his voice in my ear helps.
“I’m so tight,” I tell him.
“Finger fuck yourself. I want to hear your moans.”
I thrust my finger faster, bringing my thumb down on my clit, both creating hot friction that spikes throughout my body, causing goosebumps. I moan and tense, Camden whispering and growling.
“I’m going to fuck you until sunrise when I see you again.” His dirty talk gets to me as I close my eyes and envision him over me, thrusting into me hard and fast. My core begins to contract around my fingers as my orgasm washes over me at the same time that I hear Camden hiss and curse. He groans, and I know he’s losing himself in his own pleasure. I move my hand with determination, amplifying my orgasm as my body tenses and jolts, my moans loud and breathing heavy.
“Shit…” Camden draws out. “I can’t wait until you’re in my arms for real. This helps, but damn it if it doesn’t make me want you even more.”
“I know what you mean.” I stand and make my way to the bathroom to clean up. “Any idea of when you might make it back?” I risk the question I’m afraid of knowing the answer to.
“I’m almost done fixing Jim’s problem and have a couple more meetings with clients. I hope to fly out by the end of next week.”
“Okay.” I sigh in relief, holding on to the hope that I’ll see him soon.
chapter 21
Camden
These past weeks in Richmond have been stressful. As much as I want to prove to Allyson that we could make this work, it’s not. There are only so many phone calls and phone sex we can have before one of us snaps and calls it quits before we actually get a chance to see where we could go together.
I’ve never been one to believe in fate or destiny, but I am starting to believe that there is a reason Allyson landed on my bed that night. Even more so since she got pregnant. If there is some hokey purpose, then surely it means we will find a way to make it work despite living in different countries.
All I know is that I want to be back with her, take care of her. I’ve become a man possessed, lured by a woman’s touch, smile, and eyes. She’s all around me.
I twirl my beer bottle on the bar top before taking a pull from it.
“Sorry I’m late.”
I spin on my stool when I hear Easton’s voice.
“No problem.” I nod with pursed lips. He stands awkwardly before taking a seat next to me. Easton’s been like a brother to me. Facing him now, both of us unsure of how to act around each other, makes my chest clench.
“How’s Everton?” I try to break the awkwardness.
“Cold as fuck already.”
“I bet. You want a beer?” I lift my bottle.
“A scotch, actually.”
“Ouch.” I cringe. “Maybe I need to up to liquor, too, if this is going to hurt.”
Easton stares ahead, with his hands clasped together on the bar and his jaw ticking. No trace of humor to break the tension.
Once he has his scotch and I swap my beer for a vodka tonic, he turns to look at me with hard eyes.
“I’ve been trying to figure out what to say since I found out you knocked up my little sister.” I flinch at his harsh tone and choice of words. He’s right, though. I knocked her up.
“Listen, Easton…” I trail off when he lifts a hand to stop me.
“I know she’s an adult, and she’s got free will, and all that bullshit Faith told me, but she’s still my sister. She’ll always be the little girl I’ll want to protect—from a wild horse or a guy.” He eyes me over the rim of his glass as he takes a drink of the amber liquid.
“I don’t know if you realize the severity of this situation. You aren’t playing house with a woman and have the choice to walk away when you get bored. If you decide to be in that child’s life from the beginning, you better fucking stay ’til you take your last breath. It’s not the kid’s fault his or her parents conceived him some drunken night.”
“Hold up,” I interrupt him. “It wasn’t exactly a drunken night. Look, it happened. Yes, we had a few drinks, but we were damn well aware of what we were doing. I’d never, for a second, have taken her to my room if I thought she had no idea what she was doing. I wouldn’t have taken advantage of her, or any other women, but especially not your sister.”
My jaw clenches, and fist tightens around the cool glass. I take a sip in hopes the vodka will calm me.
“Fuck, yeah, I’ve never exactly been the kinda guy to stick around with the same woman for the long haul, but I’m determined to be the best father to this kid.” I hold Easton’s stare, not backing down.
“How exactly will that work since you live here and Ally lives in Spain?” When he arches his eyebrow, I want to knock his glass out of his hand. Fucking childish, but if he’s going to treat me as such…
“We’re working through that. We don’t have everything set in stone, and any plan we make will need adjustments once the time comes, but I ain’t walking away
from this kid.” I shake my head.
“And what about my sister?” He drinks his scotch with a smug expression.
“This is all backward. Maybe if things hadn’t happened the way they did, I wouldn’t have looked her way. Not because she isn’t beautiful, but because she is your sister. I respect that, and I respect our friendship despite what you may believe at the moment. But I did look her way. I saw her, I felt what it could be like to be with her, and I never knew such heaven existed. I never realized how good it’d feel to have it all, and now that I’ve had a taste of it, I’m going to fight ’til my death to live each day in that sort of paradise.”
I take a deep breath, stabilizing my racing heart. I refuse to be the first to look away. I’m not playing games with Allyson.
Easton nods as he narrows his eyes before finishing off the rest of his scotch. I almost think he’s going to get up and walk away, so it surprises me when he reaches his hand out.
My eyebrows lift as I stare at him, and then I shake his hand.
“It’ll take me a while to get used to this, and if you ever hurt Allyson, I’ll be the last person you see before you take your last breath.” His hand grips mine, and I swallow down my complaint.
“We’ve got miles of land in Everton, where no one will find your body.” Then, he has the balls to smirk. Motherfucker.
“Good to know my best friend wants me dead,” I deadpan, finishing off my own drink.
“If you hurt her,” he lifts a finger as if correcting me.
“Honestly, Easton, where does this leave us?” I feel like a girl asking, but I don’t want this to cause a strain on our friendship.
“I’m not sure. I want to believe you’ll do right by her, but I’ve witnessed your relationships for too long to question if you’re capable of settling down.”
That’s a low blow, but I can’t argue it. “So fifteen years of friendship down the drain?” I shake my head in disbelief.
The Right Kind of Wrong: A Brother's Best Friend Romance Page 14
