by Anita Waller
Anna swallowed several times, trying to fight the repeat bout of nausea, and slowly her stomach settled. She knew she had to finish the letter and seal it, but then what? Jenny would definitely be waiting for her phone call, but how could she speak to her now? How could she still love her?
She went back inside and pulled the letter onto her knee.
My plan was formulated around leaving my car clearly visible on my drive. I walked down to the station, after leaving home at 10am, wearing a beige woolly bobble hat, jeans, and a long beige coat bought in a charity shop in Leicester earlier in the week.
I bought a return ticket to Lincoln, and my train left at 11.26. I paid cash for the ticket. I arrived in Lincoln at 13.20 approximately.
I walked to Hartsholme Park and went into the wooded area where you have found the body.
I took with me a large brown leather bag, and inside I carried a realistic stuffed dog, a knife, a plastic bag, duct tape and plant ties. I also took a thin pair of gloves and a short jacket.
Once I was in the wooded area, I half buried the dog and waited for someone to pass by on the path, which was approximately twenty metres away. I held the knife loosely inside my coat pocket, and the first person I saw was a lady. I shouted her and asked for her help with my dog. She also had a small dog with her. It was a Yorkshire terrier.
She made her way across to me, and I pointed to the dog I had buried. She bent down to help, and I stabbed her in the back of the neck. She fell to the floor and was struggling to breathe. I then stabbed her dog as he was barking loudly. The dog died instantly. I secured her hands behind her back with the plant ties – black ones – after securing her legs. She was barely moving at this point. I put the plastic bag over her head, sealed the bottom of it around her neck with duct tape and walked away. I believe she was dead before I put the duct tape around the base of the plastic bag. I took everything with me.
I walked further into the woods and changed my coat. I then put the long coat and gloves in the bag and walked back down into Lincoln. I washed in Lincoln Railway Station and caught the 18.35 back to Leicester. It was almost 20.30 when I arrived, and I walked back home. I arrived there at 22.00.
At no time have I had assistance with this plan. I deeply regret the loss of this lady and know her family will not be able to forgive, or forget, but it was necessary for setting the scene for the next murder.
I will send all three letters to Anna Carbrook, sealed inside the large brown envelope. I trust her not to break the seal. If the main envelope ever is opened, it will be obvious the letters are not for Adam and Grace.
Jennifer Carbrook
27 March 2015
Anna sat for a full hour, staring at nothing. The letters lay on the coffee table, and she felt lost. She needed to see Jenny. She didn’t know what she could say to her; she didn’t even think at that point that she would ever speak again.
And then Anna started to cry. Deep, deep gulps that actually hurt; she didn’t know how to stop. Eventually, the tears faded, and she re-gloved her hands before picking up both letters. The first one she took into the bedroom and put it through the shredder. The assistant in Smith’s had explained it was an extremely good one, because it cross cut rather than straight cut – did he know what she would need to shred, she wondered.
It was really strange; she felt better for getting rid of that letter.
Anna went back into the lounge and picked up the second letter; she hesitated. It struck her she could shred that one as well. However, she would gain nothing from that. If the truth came out about what Jenny had done, it might not be her they looked at, it might be Mark. This letter was proof it was just Jenny.
Anna put it back into the envelope marked “Murder Number One” and sealed the flap. She then used her candle lighter to melt some wax on to it and pressed the seal in place. She slipped it into the larger brown envelope and left it unsealed, as per the instructions from her daughter-in-law, then took it into the smaller bedroom and slid it under the mattress. Further decisions would wait for another day. For now, it was out of her sight.
Chapter 18
Sunday, 29 March 2015
Day Twenty-One
Anna didn’t sleep much. She hadn’t contacted Jenny, and there had been no call or text from her. She finally gave in and got up at five o’clock, made herself a cup of tea, and sat out on the balcony wrapped in a blanket. She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them it was just after eight o’clock, and both her and her tea were cold.
She unwrapped herself and went back into the lounge, planning on making a cup of tea she would actually drink this time.
The new phone beeped once, and she picked it up. The text said, Found.
Anna stared at it and then moved with some speed across to the television. She put on the 24-hour news channel from the BBC and waited. She didn’t wait for long. Within five minutes, the news’ anchor was telling the world a body had been found in Hartsholme Park, a woman. Details were sketchy.
Anna could have told them a lot more.
*****
Anna deleted the text and sat and stared at the phone. Should she ring? Should she go to Leicester? She felt completely lost.
Realisation hit her; despite everything, she hadn’t believed the contents of the letter were true. Anna had to speak with Jenny, had to stop her taking the next step. Sunday was clearly the wrong time to ring her. Mark would be there, even if the children weren’t, and she obviously wouldn’t be able to even acknowledge it was her mother-in-law.
Anna stood up and popped two headache pills from the blisters, washing them down with water. One of them stuck in her throat, and that simple action brought on another spell of tears. She couldn’t even take a tablet properly. If she could go back and not walk away that morning...
Would she do it any differently?
No.
Again, the tears.
Anna lay down on the bed and took her book off the bedside table. She needed to stop thinking for a short while, and this was the sort of book which would guarantee that. She fell asleep almost immediately, and didn’t surface for three hours. She could hear the television and realised it was still on the news channel she had put it on earlier.
Anna staggered to her feet, feeling a little worse for wear, but relieved the headache had disappeared. She walked into the lounge, and the television screen was full of pictures of a cordoned off area in Hartsholme Park.
Anna stood transfixed. The woman had been identified as a Mrs. Joan Jackson and her husband, looking lost and horrified at the same time, said she always took their little dog out in the early afternoon, every day.
‘Oh, Jenny,’ she breathed. ‘What have you done?’
The police were asking for witnesses to come forward if they had seen Mrs. Jackson on any part of her walk, and in particular, they were interested in speaking to a man in his early twenties who had been seen riding a bike erratically through that area of Hartsholme.
She wanted to switch off the television, but she couldn’t. She wanted to rant at Jenny, but she couldn’t.
In the end, Anna did shut down the news programme – she didn’t want to know any further details.
She moved to the kitchen area and dropped a slice of bread into the toaster, made a pot of tea, and took it all into the lounge on a tray. Tea. It occurred to her she seemed to be drinking it in preference to coffee these days; something else different in her new life.
The worst part about Anna’s evening was she had no one to talk to, and her head was bubbling with things to say. What made it harder was she couldn’t ring Jenny on a Sunday. She would have to wait until Monday. By then, she figured her head might have exploded anyway.
Of course, Anna didn’t sleep when she went to bed. Her three hour “nap” had refreshed her, and she read until about two in the morning, finally dropping into an uneasy sleep for the second night running.
Chapter 19
Monday, 30 March 2015
Day T
wenty-Two
Monday morning arrived, and Anna didn’t get up until ten o’clock. Depression was settling over her like nimbus cumulus, and she curled up under the duvet and stayed there. She eventually gave in to the need for a wee and a cup of tea (in that order), and with those problems sorted, she opened the doors to her balcony. She saw Jenny’s car pulling in through the car park gates. She was standing by the intercom when she buzzed.
‘Come up,’ Anna said harshly. She hoped Jenny caught the tone.
They looked at each other in the doorway, and Anna held out her arms. She could see the pain in Jenny’s face, the drooping shoulders, and Anna was lost.
‘I couldn’t get here fast enough,’ she sobbed. ‘God, Anna. What have I done?’
‘Come on. I’ve just made a pot of tea. Do you want something to eat?’
She sniffled. ‘Just tea, thanks.’
‘What have you told Mark?’
‘I just said I was having a day shopping. He took Adam and Grace to school, and I set off as soon as he’d driven off the road. I must leave here by 12.30 at the latest to make sure I’m home for the children, but if there are issues with traffic or anything, I can always ring Katie to pick them up for me when she goes to get her two.’
They went out on the balcony, and Jenny shivered.
‘Cold? Here.’ Anna passed her the throw.
Jenny draped it across her shoulders and smiled for the first time. ‘This feels so good, being here with you,’ she said softly.
Anna handed her a mug of tea, and she sipped at it immediately. ‘I left without having even a drink,’ she said. ‘I really needed to talk to you. It’s been a long weekend.’
Anna looked at her for a long time, and she wriggled uncomfortably.
‘You’re a murderer.’ Her tone was flat, her face emotionless.
‘I know.’ Her tone matched Anna’s.
‘You stop now, Jenny.’
‘I can’t. If I stop now, that lady died for nothing.’
‘Mrs. Jackson, Jenny, not that lady. And you stop now. I can’t begin to imagine how you’re going to live the rest of your life, knowing what you’ve done, but you stopping now buys my silence.’ Even as she spoke the threat she knew it was a useless phrase.
Jenny’s stubbornness showed in her face. ‘Ray will die.’
‘No!’ The anguish showed in Anna’s voice.
She watched Jenny’s face, and she knew without any shadow of a doubt she would kill Ray. She had lived with what he had done and the consequences for too long. If Ray had ever acknowledged his remorse to her, maybe she would have been able to put it behind her and just get on with her life, but that hadn’t happened. Jenny’s hatred had festered to such a point killing Ray was her only answer. And yet, Anna knew under this brittle exterior there still lurked the softer, kinder Jenny; the Jenny she had seen place a tiny dead bird in a cardboard shoe box and bury it in the back garden. That Jenny had to still be in there, surely?
‘Anna,’ she said calmly, ‘if you think this is going to be easy, please think again. And I really can’t think of that lady as Mrs. Jackson, because that personalises her, and while she’s just a dog walker in a park, I can live with what I did. I am dreading the newspapers talking about her life, her family. But, I did it, and I have to live with it. Ray will be next, and it will be soon. And never forget that Ray’s death is as much for me as it is for you.’
‘Then I’m asking you not to do it, Jenny. Think of the children, think of Mark, Tim, and Caroline. They won’t know why he’s dead, just that he’s been murdered.’
She laughed. ‘Anna, they won’t grieve for long. They know exactly what Ray is like. They know about the abuse you’ve taken over the years. The difference between them and me is I’m prepared to stop his evil ways, they can’t. So, one night, I’m going to organise Adam and Grace to be at my parents’ house for a sleepover, and then I’m coming to you. I’ll go to Lincoln from here. It’s good Mark works away during the week. I still have a key for Lindum Lodge, and I’m going to wait until the early hours before I go in. I know he’ll be drunk and asleep, because that is apparently what he does every night now. I’m going to kill him in exactly the same way as I killed the lady.’
‘But, why will the police think it’s the same person doing the killing? This scenario with Ray is completely different to killing out in the open.’
‘It’s the same plastic bag, same ties, and same duct tape. Oh, they’ll link it all right. Then the third one will be a different scenario again, but using the same stuff. And it will be very soon after Ray.’
Anna could feel her own will to live drifting away. ‘Third one? There doesn’t need to be a third one!’
‘Yes, there does. And that’s where it ends, Anna. After that, if I’m tracked down, I’ll confess to the lot. If I’m not, then I keep quiet. You’ll have the only evidence which can incriminate me, because you’ll have three letters with details of each murder. There’s nothing they can do to you, as long as you keep silent.’
‘But...’
‘Or to Mark.’
Jenny knew that would stop Anna in her tracks.
‘Mark?’
‘If they suspect it’s me, they’re going to look at Mark as well. Those letters make it clear nobody else is involved. Keep them safe, Anna, for God’s sake, keep them safe.’
Anna gaped at Jenny, completely unable to speak. For a start, she didn’t know what to say, and secondly, she didn’t know her any more.
That realisation completely took the wind out of her sails, and just for a moment, Anna felt panicked. She actually physically shook her head as though that would bring her some relief, but, of course, it didn’t.
‘Jenny...’
‘Leave it, Anna. I know you’ve a lot to think about. I’m going to go now. I just had to see you; I needed the comfort of seeing you. We will get through this, you know. I will get rid of him for both of us.’
There was so much strength in her words.
‘Jenny – all this seems so extreme...’
Jenny shook her head. ‘Listen to all my reasons, Anna, listen carefully. I was naïve when that monster raped me. Maybe if I had been ten years older, I would have been able to go to the police, tell Mark, tell you, but I wasn’t. That man ruined my wedding day, my honeymoon, my life. I was so badly torn when he raped me I had to pretend to Mark I was having a period at the start of our honeymoon, because I knew he would be able to tell I was in pain if we made love. And then, after the birth of my first child, I find out he’s fathered him. I can’t love Adam in the same way I love Grace, I just can’t, Anna. He’s ruined the relationship I have with my only son. I hold myself back from Mark. I love him so much, but when he touches me or when we make love, I feel cold. And then, there’s you. I know about the beatings; Tim once told me. I know if he could get hold of you now, you probably wouldn’t survive it. At the very least, you would be seriously hurt. And I am 100% sure when it comes to a divorce, he would take everything. The man is pure evil, Anna. And you know it. I made myself a promise, a promise I locked into my heart. I said if ever you saw sense and left him, he would die.’ Jenny’s face was ashen.
Anna held out her arms, and Jenny came to her. She gave a small whimper as she put her head on Anna’s shoulder, and Anna heard her whisper, ‘We’ll be free soon, I promise.’
She picked up her bag and walked to the door.
‘I’ll see you next week. It’s Spring Bank holiday, the children are on holiday from school, and it means I can be away overnight. I’m going to tell Mark we’ve spoken, because I’m coming to stay the night. Invite your new friend over to meet me. We’ll discuss details later.’
‘We can’t involve Lissy!’
‘We’re not. I just want her to see me, here. And she needs to see me the next morning. Don’t come down with me, it upsets me to leave you. Take care, Anna. One day, we’ll be happy.’
Chapter 20
Tuesday, 7 April 2015
Day Thirty
/>
The apartment became unbelievably clean and tidy. Anna had spent a lot of money online, buying things she didn’t really need but really wanted. All the time, it felt like she was giving Ray a good old smack in the face, because he always queried everything she bought, and in many cases, he mocked her purchases. She supposed it would take a long time to forget his total dominance and influence over her, but she knew she would get there.
And really, Anna knew it was Jenny who was getting to her. She didn’t know what to do. She was dreading the phone call, saying, I’m coming to see you.
And the phone call arrived on Tuesday morning.
They had spoken on Anna’s iPhone the day before, just a general conversation Anna had assumed was laying the groundwork for telling Mark she was in touch with his mother.
The call came on her new phone.
‘It’s me.’
It’s me. It sounded so theatrical Anna wanted to giggle.
‘I know.’
Jenny sighed. ‘I’m sorry. My head is buzzing. I’m coming over to see you Thursday. And staying the night...’
Anna felt chilled all through my body.
‘And...?’
‘Thursday. Thursday night. I’m going to tell Mark today when he calls we have been in touch, and you’ve agreed to meet me. It has to be this week, Anna, because Mum and Dad are collecting Adam and Grace today and taking them to the coast for the rest of the week.’
Anna was trembling. ‘Ring me when you know what time you’re arriving. I have to go, I feel sick.’
She disconnected and ran for the bathroom.
Chapter 21
Thursday, 9 April 2015
Days Thirty-Two to Thirty-Three
Jenny was with her by 11am. Anna found it difficult to talk to her, to look at her, until Jenny took her by the shoulders, looked her in the eyes, and said, ‘It will be fine. We will be fine.’
They sat on the settee, and she held Anna’s hand. ‘This is what is going to happen. We will invite Lissy over for a chat tonight. You’ve told me she’s a night bird, so she will stay up late. Out of politeness, and because she thinks I’m not very well, she will hopefully go home around eleven, and I will immediately set off for Lincoln. I’ll be there before midnight. The next part is improvisation, because I don’t know if Ray will be home or not, but in any case, I should be back on my way here by 1.30 tomorrow morning, at the latest. And Ray will be dead.’
