He was happy she was safe, but if she’d drop him so easily for a damned job, how could he trust her intentions or her feelings? How could he believe a word out of her mouth? Whether what they shared was between two people in love or material for the next juicy article?
He couldn’t live, or love, that way.
“You’ll be safe with them,” he said, anxiety knotting in the pit of his stomach. “But don’t forget to grab your article off the printer.”
“You bastard.” She fumed, eyes narrowing to slits. “After everything we’ve been through, you really think I would throw it away for a stupid job?”
“Of course I do. That’s exactly what happened. The proof is still crumpled over there on the floor.” He steeled himself against her. “I don’t blame you, Melina. You’ve always deserved better than what I could give you. You’ll be amazing at Eclipse.”
Shaking her head, Melina planted her hands on her hips and huffed. “For the record, I wasn’t going to expose you—the article is about Lydia and the corruption in the company. But you can read it for yourself since I know you don’t trust me.” She turned on her heel and stormed out of his office. Two stomps and she spun around. “And you’re right about that last part. I do deserve better than you.”
He was still standing in the same spot, staring toward the elevators, long after she’d gone. He couldn’t calm down. Air rushed out of his lungs. His heartbeat wouldn’t slow. Stabbing pain had begun to pierce his temples. He might as well have been breaking in two—cracking straight down the middle.
When strength trickled back to his legs, Hayden stumbled to the printer and picked up the few pages she’d printed. The more he skimmed, the more he felt like an asshole.
Corruption at Eclipse.
Lydia Hyde behind it all…
Not a single mention of werewolves. His name didn’t appear once.
“Damn it!” He crumpled the papers into a wad and chucked them toward the trash bin. She’d been telling the truth. She hadn’t planned to expose him at all. “I should’ve known. I’m a raging idiot…and I don’t deserve her.”
Truer words were never spoken.
Hayden charged toward the elevators, and stopped at the wolf painting.
“She’s better off without me,” he mumbled, standing in the exact place where she’d admired the painting. “She does deserve better. And she’ll be safer without me at her side, screwing everything up.”
Saying the words aloud didn’t make him believe them anymore.
Hayden roared, scrubbing his hands through his hair. And then he snapped.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“I have to get the hell out of here.”
He punched the elevator button and counted the seconds until the cage arrived. The metal box shook and trembled as he pounded against the mirrors, letting the fury spiraling in his gut take him over.
He longed to shift and burst through this body, taking his most primal form. He couldn’t shift right now, of course, but it didn’t lessen the overwhelming urge.
There were a million and a half reasons why he and Melina couldn’t be together. The danger she’d be in as his mate, especially now that he was officially going to be the Alpha, and Lydia’s threat alone were reasons enough.
Even if he could get past those, even if he believed he could protect her, it didn’t change the fact that eventually, he’d be alone again. If he felt this torn up leaving her now, how would it be later in life, after they’d bonded and grown old together?
The pain would tear his chest in half, he was sure of it.
The elevator doors opened. Gabriel stood in the basement, hands on his hips. A bandage wound around his head, but other than that, he appeared normal.
“Gabriel.” Hayden forced his temper to cool. “How do you feel?”
“Fine,” he said, nodding. “Better than fine. The guards fixed me up with this stupid head wrap and a bunch of feel-good meds. I’m flying high for the next hour. They wanted me to walk laps through the building. Stimulate the blood or some shit.”
“Glad to hear it. I didn’t like seeing you laid out that way.”
“Reagan took a cheap shot. Caught me off guard.” Gabriel smirked. “But from what I hear, your lady returned the favor for me. Speaking of, how are you doin’, Hulk?”
“Hulk?”
Gabriel motioned to the metal rail in Hayden’s grasp.
Shit. He must’ve torn the sucker off in his blind rage. He chucked it into the back of the elevator and marched out into the lobby. Gabriel followed on his heels.
“Hey man, you’re in no form to go out. You look like you’re about to burst out of your skin.” Gabriel grabbed Hayden by the elbow. He jerked it out of his friend’s grasp. “Where are you headed?”
“Fuck if I know.” He wanted to run to Melina and haul her against him. Tell her how much he ached to have her in his life. “I’m going somewhere I can breathe.”
“What happened up there?” Gabriel stood in front of him, his arms folded over his chest. “Between you and Melina?”
“I broke it off. Ended it. Killed it.” Hayden slapped his arms against his sides. “I accused her of using me to get a leg up in her career. I drove her so far away, she won’t be coming back. It’s probably for the better, anyway. In order for her to live a long and happy life, she can’t be anywhere near me.”
“That’s what you think?”
Lydia’s threat still echoed through his head.
Melina would never be safe. Not while there were rogues roaming the city. He couldn’t protect her every second of every day. Melina wasn’t the type to be caged, and he couldn’t do that to her.
“It’s what I know.” Something cracked in Hayden’s chest. “I have to get out of here.”
Gabriel followed him into the parking garage. “Do you love her?”
That was the question of the hour, of the week, of his life, wasn’t it? Melina was everything he never knew he’d always wanted. She was his fated mate, but their connection went deeper than that. She was intelligent with a razor sharp wit that had him rolling on multiple occasions. She was drop-dead gorgeous, and somehow managed to see him for who he really was.
She’d looked deeper than anyone else ever had. She’d broken down his walls and made him feel when he’d been cold and achingly lonely for so long.
“I love her more than I’ve ever loved another.” Picking up his pace, Hayden dug through his pocket and unlocked the Bugatti’s doors. “I love her enough to leave her. Does that answer your question?”
As Hayden slid into the driver’s seat, Gabriel grabbed the doorframe. “You’re crazy to let her walk away from you,” Gabriel said, “but if you’re sure this is what you want, I won’t stop you.”
“Good.” Hayden brought the engine to life. “Now get the hell out of my way.”
“Wait. One more thing,” Gabriel said. “If you’re not going to be with her, do you mind if I give her a go?”
Possessiveness rumbled through Hayden’s veins. “You’ll stay away from her or we are no longer packmates.” Biting out the words, he saw nothing but a haze of red. “Do you hear me, traitor?”
“So you don’t want her, but you don’t want anyone else to have her, either?” Gabriel nodded as if he hadn’t heard Hayden’s threat. “Oh, she’ll live a long and happy life, all right. A long and lonely one, if you have anything to say about it.”
His connection to Melina would never, ever fade. He couldn’t handle losing her. Not now, not ever.
Never to another.
He was dying inside, his chest aching with loneliness.
But the mere notion of her being with someone else—
His stomach recoiled before he could finish the thought.
Melina would eventually find someone like Gabriel or another werewolf in their pack. That fact was inevitable. They wouldn’t be fated mates, and wouldn’t share the same connection and chemistry he’d experienced with her, but the new someone would fill a void. He’d
fill the empty spot in her bed, and in her heart.
Hayden trusted his packmates to a certain degree, but not with her life, or her heart. If something happened, if they hurt a single hair on her head, he’d rip theirs clean off.
No one could protect her the way he could…
If he spent time with her now—even a few minutes kissing her heart-shaped lips, ghosting his hands over her mane of silky-black hair—he’d cherish those memories forever.
He’d never regret a single moment.
Hayden extended his hand to his friend. “I know this sounds odd, but thank you.”
“Glad I could clarify a few things for you.” Grinning like the cat that ate the canary, Gabriel took Hayden’s hand. “I thought it might take a desperate measure to get you to see the writing on the wall. You two are perfect together. She’s the only one who can put up with your shit.”
As Hayden realized he’d been joking about asking Melina out, relief washed over him.
“Son of a bitch.” Choking out a laugh, Hayden smacked Gabriel’s hand away. “You’re a piece of work.”
“A masterpiece, some might say.” Gabriel turned, starting his walk toward the lobby. “You know there’s a benefit at the de Young Museum tonight…it’s a black-tie poker tournament. Nationally televised. Ten-thousand dollar buy-in. If you play your cards right, you might be able to land a date.”
“I like the way you think.” Hayden’s wheels turned, though doubt settled in. After behaving so badly and turning Melina away, would she go? Would she forgive him? “Do you have a date?”
“Ah, you know me,” he said, grinning. “I’m too indecisive to pick just one.”
Someday, a woman was going to come along and show Gabriel the true meaning of soul mate. Only then would he know how truly satisfying it was to love one woman, and know, unequivocally, that she was his for all eternity.
And that’s exactly what Melina had given him.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
After passing by the guards stationed outside the gate to her complex, Hayden charged into the foyer. Harsh rays of afternoon sunlight streamed through the windows facing the street, illuminating the tears and stains on the red-carpeted stairs. He marched down the narrow hall to her apartment and rapped on the door. He waited, tapping his foot, and biting his lip. He thrust his hands in his pockets. Pulled them out and rubbed his hands on his pants. Scanned the hall one way, and then the other.
“Just a second,” Melina’s voice rang out from inside.
His heart leapt.
And then the unmistakable sound of sniffling hit his ears. Something rustled behind the door. She’d been crying…
“Damn it.” Remorse flooded him, drying out his throat and tightening his middle. He rested his hand on the door and let his head fall. “Melina? It’s me.”
How could he ever make it up to her?
“I’m coming.” Her voice sounded strained. Had she been crying all day?
The lock twisted, and then the door opened. Her eyes were red, her cheeks pale, yet her chin was raised in a notion of strength.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest.
“Melina.” He reached out to cup her cheek in his hand.
She dodged before he touched her face. “What do you want?”
To touch you, hold you, and kiss away your tears.
He swallowed hard, and gazed into those soft brown eyes. She was so beautiful. Angelic and innocent…only there was fire to her. A fierceness that exuded from her spirit, a spark that had him burning to claim her.
“Hayden?” She leaned down to catch his gaze. “Are you going to say something or did you just want to stand in my hall?”
He couldn’t straighten out the words tangling in his mind.
“Because if this is how the conversation is going to go,” she said, “I can get you a chair.”
She was strong-willed, even now. Offering him a seat in the hallway rather than inviting him inside was the ultimate snub to the Alpha of her new pack. But she didn’t care. She stood her ground anyway.
He would’ve expected nothing less from an Alpha’s mate.
He smiled through the fog in his mind and shook his head. “I don’t need a chair.” I need you. More than the useless air filling my lungs. “I came back to ask you something.”
Why couldn’t he spit it out?
He’d been so ready to tell her everything that was spinning in his head and heart, but now that he was face to face with her, staring at the red rings around her eyes, he couldn’t think of anything but how much he’d hurt her. And how he’d never be able to make it right, no matter how he tried.
One word at a time, moron.
“Okay.” Melina sniffled, and his heart cracked a little more. “Go ahead and ask what you need to ask.”
Oh, he’d hurt her bad. She’d put up a wall; he could feel the cold chill of a massive ice sheet forming between them.
…
Melina gazed into Hayden’s tumultuous chocolate-brown eyes and forced herself to take a deep breath. She couldn’t get her hopes up. He wasn’t here to apologize or declare his undying love for her. He was probably going to talk about the guards following her every move. How it was going to be a horrible violation of her privacy for a while.
But he looked so damned torn up about it. A thin sheen of sweat covered his forehead. His hands were trembling, though he tried to hide it by clenching and unclenching them into fists.
“Would you go to the de Young Museum with me tonight?” He blurted the words quickly, in one rambled string. “I have two tickets. I’d be honored if you’d accompany me.”
“You really should get your mood swings checked out.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Because if you think I’ve forgotten the last things you said to me a few short hours ago, you’re insane.”
Keeping his gaze trained on hers, he nodded slowly. “You’re angry, as you should be.”
“I don’t need your permission.”
“No, you certainly don’t.” His gaze lowered to her mouth. “But your lips are damn sexy when they pout that way.”
As the anger rose in her belly, something softened inside her chest. A warm blush bloomed over her skin, and the urge to melt into his arms almost overtook her. Almost. Would she always be drawn to him this way? Even if he thought he was a puppet-master who could toy with her emotions?
“You don’t get to tell me my lips are sexy.” She fought to keep the wall of indifference in place. “Not anymore.”
How could he have thought she’d write an article exposing him as a werewolf? He must not have felt the same things she did.
“I was under a ton of pressure before.” His shoulders dropped forward. “I was the asshole of all assholes.”
She nodded. “The King Asshole.”
“The Alpha Asshole.”
She fought a smirk. “You should tattoo that to your forehead so every woman you date from here on out knows what they’re getting into. It’d be good advertising.”
And it’d save a ton of broken hearts.
His expression turned grave. “You’re the only woman who’ll be in my life from this moment until the day I die. I’m sorry I haven’t proven that to you thus far, but if you’d let me, I’d like to make this a new start.”
She leaned against the doorjamb to steady herself.
“You said I sided against you…” She swallowed down the tears straining her throat. “…how could you think I’d do that? After everything?”
“God, Melina, I’m so sorry.” He looked the part, but he was good at playing the role people needed him to play. “I’m an idiot for not trusting you.”
“You could say it until you’re blue in the face.” As she twisted his words, remorse flickered through her. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”
She loved and trusted him. He didn’t share the sentiments.
Fine. She’d have to move on.
He exhaled heavily. “I thought the onl
y way you could live a full and happy life was if I wasn’t at your side.”
“You honestly think I’d fall at your feet with a simple apology?”
He didn’t need to respond. The truth was written all over his face.
“I was trying to do the right thing, struggling to find a way to keep you safe. I didn’t realize I’d be committing myself to a lifetime of misery.” He paled. “I shouldn’t have let Lydia poison what I knew to be true for myself. I should’ve trusted you—trusted us. But I can’t go back. All I know is that I belong with you. And there’s nothing I’d love more than to build a life with you and prove how perfect we are together.”
Deep down in her core, she felt the same, but she’d heard him say those lovingly sweet things before, and words had only gotten them so far.
“No one can protect you the way I can,” he said.
He was right on that part. She never felt safer than she did when he was at her side.
He reached out for her hand. “No one can love you the way I can, either.”
Her middle hollowed out as his fingers brushed over hers. His touch sparked something inside her—a deep-rooted desire, a need to snuggle up next to him and breathe in his comforting scent.
How could she live without him?
Wait—would she be pledging her life to someone who would flip a switch and cast her aside? It wasn’t only earlier in his office, but at the awards show last year, too.
She wasn’t sure.
“Hayden—”
“You don’t have to decide right now,” he said, squeezing her hand. “If you think you could forgive me, come with me to a black-tie event at the de Young tonight. I’ll come by and wait outside your door at six. If you don’t come out, I’ll take that as a sign that you don’t ever want to see me again. It’ll be a hard reality for me to accept, but I’ll have to learn to deal with it. As an Alpha’s mate, you’ll always have the protection of the guards. And you’ll never have to see me again, if that’s what you truly wish.” He lifted her hand, and brushed his lips over her knuckles. “Please forgive me.”
And then, after another, softer kiss in the heart of her hand, he closed his eyes and turned away.
The Werewolf Wears Prada (Entangled Covet) (San Francisco Wolf Pack) Page 20
