by Betsy Haynes
Katie nodded. "The other blonde is Melissa McConnell. Supposedly she's a perfectionist with a capital P. You know, straight A's and all that. It seems she looks down her nose at anyone who isn't a perfectionist, too."
"Big deal!" said Melanie, making a face.
"The fourth one is Funny Hawthorne," said Katie.
"FUNNY Hawthorne?" shrieked Jana. "What kind of name is that?"
"It's one of those nicknames that stuck," said Katie. "Her real name is Karen, but everybody calls her Funny, including teachers. Anyway, apparently she's a real bubblehead. She laughs at everything, no matter what happens or what anyone says to her, and she never takes anything seriously. She sounds weird to me."
Jana pulled out her notebook and began writing down the information Katie had just given them. Tammy Lucero, gossip. Melissa McConnell, perfectionist. Funny Hawthorne, bubblehead. She glanced at the list for a moment and then added, Laura McCall, wicked witch.
"Did she say what kinds of things Laura makes them do to stay in the club?" asked Melanie. "I'm dying to find out."
Katie shook her head. "She didn't know. She said they keep it a big secret."
It didn't take long for Jana and her friends to finish their lunches and leave the cafeteria. As they headed down the hall toward the door to the school ground, Jana stopped beside the door marked Girls.
"You guys go on," she called. "I'll be there in a minute."
The others nodded, and Jana pushed through the door into the almost deserted restroom. The door had scarcely closed behind her when she heard it open again and someone come in.
"Thank goodness I caught up with you. I think this is your schedule card. I saw it fall out of your notebook when you left the cafeteria."
Jana spun around. The girl standing there had long, wavy hair and wide blue eyes and such a warm smile that Jana couldn't help returning it.
"Wow. Thanks," said Jana. "That makes twice I've lost it so far today."
"You, too?" said the smiling girl. "I lost mine on the school ground before I even got into the building and a second time in the hall. All I could think about was what if I had to ask a ninth-grader for directions." The girl was laughing now. It was soft, tinkling laughter, and Jana liked the friendly way it sounded.
"That's exactly what happened to me." Jana couldn't believe how much they had in common. "Except instead of before school, I lost my card after homeroom. And now this. Eeek! I wonder if I'll survive the day."
"That's the same thing I worried about, so I decided I'd better do something," said the girl. "I taped it inside the cover of my notebook."
"Why didn't I think of that?" said Jana, slapping her forehead with the heel of her hand. "I should have done it before I even left home this morning."
"Here, use my tape," the girl offered cheerfully. As she opened a zipper pocket in her notebook and rummaged through it, Jana studied her face. She was the friendliest person Jana had met all day, and definitely someone she would like to get to know better. At the same time Jana was sure she had seen her before. But before she could make a connection, the girl thrust a roll of tape toward her.
"I always carry this for emergencies," she said, laughing again. "In fact, I carry a lot of things for emergencies. I seem to have a talent for getting into crazy situations."
"Me, too," said Jana, rolling her eyes for emphasis. "I'm the world's biggest klutz."
"Oh, yeah? You think that's bad? I'm a walking disaster. Have you seen the old I Love Lucy reruns on TV?"
Jana nodded.
"Well"—the girl moved closer and lowered her voice to confidential tones—"don't tell anybody, but Lucy used to hide out in my bedroom closet. Where do you think she got all her material? From watching me!"
The two girls erupted into giggles. In fact, Jana was laughing so hard that she had trouble taping the schedule inside her notebook. The girl reached out, steadying the notebook for her, and their eyes met for an instant.
"It's super of you to let me use this," Jana said. "I mean that. I'm really grateful." Then, as the girl flashed one last smile and turned to leave, Jana called, "By the way, my name is Jana Morgan. What's yours?"
The girl looked at her questioningly for an instant, and Jana had the feeling that she recognized her, too. Did they know each other from somewhere?
"On my birth certificate it says Karen Janelle Hawthorne," the girl answered almost shyly. "But everybody calls me Funny."
CHAPTER 5
The two girls parted company with more smiles and with promises to get together soon, but Jana knew that the look on her face must have given away her surprise. Now Jana remembered where she had seen Funny before. At the fence—with Laura McCall. So this was Funny Hawthorne? she mused. Member of The Fantastic Foursome? Bubblehead? If those things were true, then why did she seem so nice?
As Jana hurried outside to find her friends, she considered telling them about her encounter with Funny. But she was confused about Funny and wasn't ready to talk about her to anyone yet. Funny was friendly and nice and seemed to be the kind of person Jana would like to know better, but she was a member of The Fantastic Foursome. That could spell trouble.
Glancing around, she saw a group of girls from Mark Twain Elementary gathered near the gum tree. Her four best friends were among them, and so were Alexis Duvall, Sara Sawyer, Lisa Snow, and even Taffy Sinclair. Jana joined them just in time to hear Taffy saying, "Isn't this gross? I mean all that chewing gum. I wouldn't touch it for anything. Just think of how many mouths all of it has been in."
"I think it looks sort of neat," said Sara Sawyer. "If you don't have to touch it, that is."
Jana looked at the tree. Since it was just the first day of school, there were only twenty or so pieces of gum stuck to the bark, but the globs of pink, green, orange, blue, and yellow gave the tree a festive look. Most pieces were just stuck there, as if the chewer had been in a hurry to get inside before the last bell rang. But one piece caught Jana's eye. It had been attached to the main trunk and then stretched out in a long string that had been wound into an artistic design and draped on the tree to look something like a modern art painting.
"I wonder who cleaned off all the old gum from last year?" asked Sara.
"Probably the custodian," said Alexis.
"No!" said Lisa, shaking her head earnestly. "I heard that the seventh-graders have to do it. That's what a girl in my history class says, and she ought to know. She was in seventh grade last year."
"Gross!" said Sara.
"Don't be silly," said Taffy. "She was just putting you on. And even if she wasn't, there's no way anyone is going to make me clean somebody else's germy old chewing gum off of this tree!"
Jana shook her head, laughing softly, and glanced up to see Beth sitting alone on the front steps, looking as if she had just lost her last friend. She was holding a small string of beads that was about the size of a child's bracelet in one hand and was rapidly fingering the beads with the other.
Most of the other girls were drifting off in small groups or had disappeared completely as Jana approached Beth. "Hi," she said softly.
"Hi," Beth mumbled without looking up.
"What's wrong?" asked Jana as she sank down to sit on the step beside her friend. "Did you have another fight with Laura McCall?"
Beth didn't answer. Instead she closed the hand that held the beads and slid her left foot forward, concentrating on a spot on the toe of her sneaker.
"You know you can tell me," Jana insisted, scooting closer to Beth. "What is it? Did I do something? Are you mad at me?"
Beth sighed deeply. For a moment Jana thought that she was going to answer. Then without warning Beth jumped to her feet and raced into the building, leaving Jana staring after her feeling both hurt and surprised.
What was wrong with her? Jana thought back over the past few days. She had seemed her old self on Saturday when they had their meeting of The Fabulous Five in her bedroom. It had been Beth who had contributed all the rumors about Laura McCall
and her club. Beth had even been the one to suggest that they find a spot by the Wakeman fence just like the one at Mark Twain. What had happened between then and now? Something. Something BIG.
But try as she might, Jana couldn't make a connection between anything she had said or done that could have upset Beth and put her into this black mood. They had talked on the phone a couple of times over the holiday weekend, mostly about what to wear the first day of school, but no cross words had been spoken then. It was as if an invisible curtain had fallen between them.
Jana thought of all the times she had confided in Beth. She had told Beth about her crush on Randy Kirwan before he even noticed her and then about their first kiss. Then there were the times she had told Beth about how she had tried to make contact with her father since her parents' divorce. About her uncertainties regarding her mother's plans to remarry. She had talked to Beth about everything, everything that was important to her, and now Beth had a problem and was shutting her out.
"Come on, Jana! He's over there! Hurry up!" Melanie was breathless and she was tugging at Jana's arm, trying to pull her to her feet. Katie stood beside her. "It's River Phoenix—I mean, Shane Arrington. Come ON, Jana! I'm going to talk to him before I lose my nerve, but I need you and Katie for moral support."
Jana let her worries about Beth slip away as she laughingly got to her feet. "Okay. Okay," she said as she got on one side of Melanie. From the other side Katie looked over at Jana, crossed her eyes, and then silently formed the word "wacko" with her lips. Jana giggled softly and nodded.
Shane Arrington was standing alone by the front door. As they got near him Melanie clutched Jana's arm so tightly that she almost cut off the circulation. Melanie stopped to take a last, deep breath and then started talking.
"You're Shane Arrington, aren't you?" she asked tentatively.
Shane nodded. "Sure am. Who are you?"
"Melanie Edwards," she said, smiling self-consciously, "and these are my friends Jana Morgan and Katie Shannon. We're from Mark Twain. I . . . uh . . . wanted to ask you something."
Shane waited, unblinking, for her to ask her question.
"Is it true that you have a pet iguana named Igor?"
An amused smile crossed his face. "Sure."
"Well, where do you keep him?" asked Melanie. "In a cage?"
"Naw, he has the run of the house."
Melanie's eyes got big and she looked questioningly at first Jana and then Katie. When neither of them said a word, she turned back to Shane.
"But what about when he wants to . . . you know?"
"Go to the bathroom?" Shane asked matter-of-factly. "That's easy. First, he waddles over to the door, and then he knocks on it with his tail. I let him out, and when he wants back in, he knocks on the door with his tail again."
"Oh," said Melanie, and Jana could tell that she wasn't sure whether to believe him or not. "Well. I was just wondering. Thanks a lot."
Shane flashed her a gorgeous smile as the three of them turned and walked away. As soon as they were out of earshot, Melanie stopped.
"Do you think Shane was serious?" she asked. "I mean, could he really train an iguana to go to the door and knock on it with his tail when he wants out?"
"Get real," said Katie. "If lizards could be trained, you'd know it. They'd be performing on Johnny Carson or doing stupid pet tricks on David Letterman."
Melanie didn't look convinced, and Jana had to pinch herself to keep from giggling as the bell rang and Shane disappeared in the crowd pushing in the front door.
"You'd better watch it," Jana warned. "Scott will get jealous."
"Oh, I know," said Melanie. "I really do still like Scott. But you saw Shane. I get weak in the knees just looking at him. Oh, well. I probably don't stand a chance with him anyway."
The girls parted at a juncture in the hallway and headed for their separate classrooms. Jana didn't see Beth all afternoon, but she was surprised to find that Funny Hawthorne was in two of her classes—algebra and history—and that she really did ask her teachers to call her Funny instead of Karen. The name fits, Jana thought. She wanted to start another conversation with her new friend. Funny was like a breath of fresh air after Beth's unexplainable gloom. Instead, she exchanged shy smiles with Funny, putting off anything more until she had time to think it over.
Whitney Larkin was in her algebra class, also. Jana jumped in surprise when Mr. Stone, the algebra teacher, called Whitney's name during roll. Jana looked over at her. Katie had known what she was talking about. Whitney Larkin looked like a pygmy sitting among the other seventh-graders. Jana squinted and studied her closer. She even looked like a genius. Glasses. Serious expression. The works. She would probably show up everybody by raising her hand all the time.
The day finally ended. Jana headed for her locker with mixed feelings about her first day at Wacko Junior High. In some ways it had been awful. Laura and her friends stealing their spot by the fence. Being looked over by a group of ninth-grade boys and only being rated a three. Losing her schedule card not once, but twice. And of course, Beth's acting so weird. Still, meeting Funny had made a difference, and so had Randy's 1,000-watt smile in homeroom. Maybe the day hadn't been a total disaster, after all.
CHAPTER 6
"So how was your first day at Wacko Junior High?" asked Jana's mother when she got home from work later that afternoon.
Jana looked up in surprise from the kitchen table where she was having a snack and doing her homework.
"Awful, mostly, but how did you know we call it Wacko instead of Wakeman? I thought only kids knew that."
"Mothers know everything," Mrs. Morgan teased. "We have eyes in the back of our heads. Ears under our armpits. Noses between our toeses!"
"Mom! Cut it out!" Jana cried, but at the same time she was doubled over, laughing. She loved it when her mother clowned around like this. It didn't happen often. Pat Morgan had been divorced from Jana's father since Jana was three, and she had a tough time supporting them on what she made as classified ad manager at the local newspaper. Jana's father was supposed to contribute monthly support checks, but he was an alcoholic, and the checks rarely arrived.
Her mother reached out and smoothed her hair. Then she said, "I'm sorry your first day in junior high was awful. Anything you'd care to talk about?"
Jana shrugged. "It was just the usual stuff. I lost my schedule card—twice. There were a bunch of obnoxious ninth-grade boys looking over the new seventh-grade girls and rating them on a scale of one to ten. Things like that."
Mrs. Morgan looked at her sympathetically. "It will get better, honey. I promise."
Jana closed her book, set her empty plate and glass in the sink, and went to her room. She had purposely left out the part about Laura McCall and The Fantastic Foursome. She didn't want to admit, even to her mother, that she and her friends had practically had a fight with a club from another school or that Laura and her friends were watching every move The Fabulous Five made. But most of all, she had left out two important things: Beth's strange behavior and her instant liking for Funny Hawthorne. She knew what her mother would say. Things were always so simple for grown-ups. She would say that there were only two things to do: call Beth and talk to her, and invite Funny to be friends. But how could she do either of them? She had too much pride to call Beth after the way Beth had refused to talk and then run away, and if she invited Funny Hawthorne to be friends, her other friends, her best friends forever and ever, would think she was a traitor.
A little while later her mother called her to the phone. On the other end was Melanie, and she was breathless, as usual.
"I just got back from going to the mall with my mom, so I couldn't call you sooner," she began the instant Jana said hello. "You'll never guess what I walked in on as I was leaving school. When I passed Laura McCall's locker, she was talking to that girl named Funny, except, get this, they weren't talking. They were fighting!"
A mental picture flashed into Jana's mind. She could see Laura's face sc
rewed up into a terrible scowl. It was easy to picture her fighting, but try as she might, Jana simply could not see Funny arguing with anybody.
"Anyway," Melanie went on, "the minute they saw me they shut up and just sort of watched me until I got past them. I don't have any idea what they were saying, but you can believe one thing, Laura McCall was madder than anything. I certainly would hate to have been Funny Hawthorne."
They talked for a few more minutes, mostly about school and what they were going to wear the next day, and then hung up. Had Laura seen Funny and Jana together at noon and figured out that they were getting friendly? She couldn't have, Jana reasoned. Their whole conversation had taken place in the girls' bathroom. But maybe Funny had slipped and said something about Jana, something that set off Laura's temper. Maybe Laura was threatening to kick Funny out of their club if she ever talked to Jana again. Jana shook her head. That was ridiculous. She knew that she was just reading things into what Melanie had said. Probably Laura and Funny were fighting over something that had nothing whatsoever to do with her. Still, she couldn't get the worry out of her mind.
The next morning Jana and her friends met in their special corner of the school ground again. The Fantastic Foursome were nowhere in sight, but nobody seemed to notice. All anyone wanted to talk about was student activities.
"I'm still trying to decide about cheerleading," said Jana. "I wish one of you would try out with me. I'm dying to do it, but I don't want to go by myself. What about you, Christie? You said you might."
Christie shrugged. "I probably won't have time. I'm definitely going out for girls' basketball, and maybe yearbook."
"I wonder what Shane Arrington is going out for?" asked Melanie. "I mean, that's even better than being in a class with him. If we're both in the same activity, we can spend tons of time together, and the more he gets to know me, the more he'll see that we're meant for each other."
"Can't you see it all?" asked Katie. "Shane, Melanie, and sweet little Igor. A perfect family."
Everybody broke up over that—even Melanie.
