“That’s not what I meant.” But even to her, the words sounded weak. He couldn’t know what she’d given up. And it had been her job to say no to it in the first place. “I’ll send you some money in a few days, all right? And I’ll send all of it as soon as I can.”
She hung up before he could say anything else.
She had given up a lot. The only reason she’d been working on that film set in the first place had been because of Scott. He’d wanted her to be more successful, more mainstream. He’d convinced her that it was the next logical step in her life. She’d gotten off the streets. She’d found her gift and gone to school. And she’d slowly found some measure of security in her life. But it had never felt secure. Crappy apartments, crappy cars. Fun jobs with independent films that didn’t pay much. She’d supplemented by working some print jobs, but she’d still lived pretty close to the bone.
But she’d lived on her terms. Her life had been good. Then she’d met Scott and he’d started asking questions. Why don’t you push yourself? Where will you be in five years? Don’t you want to challenge yourself? He’d tapped into her insecurities about money and safety. He’d convinced her that her life wasn’t enough. And she’d let him.
She’d changed for him, like those stupid girls with low self-esteem she’d spent years mocking. Like her mother. She’d changed for a man and she’d lost everything. Just the way she’d deserved to.
She’d never, ever do that again. Subvert her own needs. Make herself small. Keep her head down in fear that she’d piss a guy off and he’d kick her out.
Her mom had done that. Over and over. As far as Grace knew, her mom was still doing it. Making herself into a meek partner for one man after another.
Grace was just about to power down her phone when it rang. Her thumb hovered over the red button as she waited for the caller ID to pop up. When it did, it wasn’t Scott’s name. It was Cole’s.
“Can I interest you in a drink?” he asked as soon as she answered.
“A drink,” she repeated, glancing toward her door.
“A drink. As a peace offering, maybe?” He sounded as if he was trying to be charming, but there was a strain in the friendly drawl. Some rough edge that snuck into the ends of his words. He was stressed out, and so was she.
“You already apologized,” she said. “And I accepted. So I don’t need a peace offering.”
“Right.”
Her hands were still trembling. Her head screamed with tension. She took a deep breath. “But if what you’re really calling about is my proposal that we have sex again, then yes. Let’s.”
Silence greeted her words. In fact, he was silent so long she had time to walk to the kitchen and open the peanut butter.
“Now?” he finally said.
She grabbed a plastic knife. “In a few. If you want to.”
Another pause. Briefer this time. “Yes,” he said.
“Good. I’m going to take a shower. See you soon.” She hung up and felt a tight smile stretch her mouth. Men were so funny. They never knew how to react to a woman who approached sex the way a guy did. They thought it was a trick. A mirage. As if she couldn’t want it as much as they did.
She liked that. Men always thought they were the ones doing the using. They thought they were taking advantage or breaking you down. There was nothing better than making it clear that with her, that wasn’t the case. She needed a release right now, and she’d take it.
Half a peanut butter sandwich later, Grace realized she could hear water humming distantly through pipes. Cole was getting in the shower. This time, she wanted to see him naked, not just half-dressed. She wanted his whole body under her hands.
The thought turned her on with immediate and startling thoroughness. She wanted him naked and hard right now. She liked that she’d shocked him. Liked that feeling of wicked power. She wanted more of it.
Grace tossed the last of her sandwich, too turned on to think about anything but getting ready. For sex. With a big, rough cowboy who made her say and do dirty things for him.
Hell, yeah. After this shitty day, that was just what she needed. She showered and shaved and used the last of her favorite body cream, loving the silky feel of her skin as she rubbed it in. She wanted him to moan when he touched her. Wanted him turned on by the barest brush of skin.
She’d just finished drying her hair and touching on some eye makeup when she heard a knock on the door. Cole. He couldn’t wait.
Grace stared at her reflection for a moment. He was right that she wanted to use him to forget. She wanted the pleasure of his body to erase everything, just for a little while. She’d never tell him that, but it was just what she needed. Hot, hard sex with a guy who didn’t even want to like her. Bring it on.
She turned off the light and walked slowly to the door.
“Want something?” she asked as she opened it. And then his mouth was on hers, his body against her. Yeah, he wanted something. He wanted it badly. Almost as badly as she did. She was just curling her fingers into his hair when the noise of a man clearing his throat interrupted.
Grace opened her eyes to see Shane standing in the entry of the building, closing the door behind him.
“Pardon me,” he said, tipping his hat. “I’ll give y’all some privacy.”
“Fuck off, Shane,” Cole growled against her mouth. He turned her, putting her back against the wall, and shut the door with his foot. “Now, where were we?”
“Right here,” she answered, sliding her hands down to his ass to pull him tight against her.
“Perfect,” he murmured against her jaw, his mouth going to her neck to tease her.
God, she could get hooked on that. His mouth on her neck, sucking, scraping, biting. It made her moan and whimper in ways she wished she could hide. But screw it. It didn’t matter. Physical pleasure was just that. He made her feel good, and there was no shame in it. She obviously turned him on, too. Good times all around.
He pushed her T-shirt up, and she did the same for him. She hadn’t bothered with a bra, so their naked chests pressed together, their body heat seeming to double with the contact, until her skin felt seared. Burned straight through to the bones beneath.
She reached for his belt and had his pants unbuttoned and open within ten seconds flat. “I want your clothes off,” she said.
“Absolutely,” he answered, but he wasn’t doing what she wanted. He was busy running his hands down her back, pressing his mouth to her shoulder. It felt good, but she needed him naked.
“Your boots,” she complained. “Your jeans. Take them off.”
“Okay,” he said, but his hands slid up to cup her breasts. She moaned at the touch, but pushed him away.
“Naked. Now.”
She shoved her own jeans down to encourage him, and that seemed to work. He toed off his boots and ditched his jeans, his gaze locked on her body the whole time. She returned the favor, her eyes devouring him, taking him in. He was so hard already. Completely ready for her.
As soon as he was naked, he reached out to touch her, but she pushed his back against the wall.
“I love your body,” she whispered against his collarbone as she spread her fingers over his chest. The hair on his chest was softer than she’d expected and feeling it again made her smile against him. And the feel of his thick cock pressed to her belly. That made her smile, too.
She slipped her hands down his sides and around to his ass. She pulled him tighter against her and listened to him moan in response. Oh, God, she loved that. She wanted more of it. More moaning. More loudly. She wanted gasping and groaning. Hell, she wanted to make him shout with lust. For her.
Grace went to her knees.
“Oh, Jesus,” he breathed.
For a moment, she just pressed her cheek to his abdomen. She held his ass and turned her mouth to his belly. She loved the taste of him. The scent of his skin. The heat of his flesh against her. There was something about him. Some chemistry between them. Just the smell of him made her we
t.
She wrapped one hand around his cock and dragged her mouth over that delicious line of muscle that started at his hip.
He gasped and she smiled, trying to decide if she should tease him or give him what he wanted. But it was what she wanted, too. And if she was good at anything, it was taking her fair share.
She tightened her hold on him and slowly slid her open lips over the head of his cock.
“Grace,” he rasped.
She glanced up and found him watching her, eyes narrowed, jaw flexing between granite and steel.
Grace narrowed her own eyes. “Tell me what you want,” she challenged, knowing her breath whispered over his wet skin.
“You know what I want.”
“Really?” She let her bottom lip glide over him and she could taste him, salty and slick against her mouth. “How am I supposed to know what you want if you won’t tell me?”
“Grace,” he said darkly, the word barely a rumble of sound.
“Mmm?” She kissed him again, with the cruelest whisper of pressure.
He was silent for a moment and she had to bite back a smile. He didn’t want to play this game. Well, neither had she, but he’d persuaded her, finally. And she’d persuade him. She stroked her hand slowly up his shaft and flicked her tongue out to lick the tiny bead of liquid she’d inspired. “Mmm.”
“Oh, God,” he moaned. “Please.”
“Please what?”
He took a deep breath and a shudder moved through his body. “Please…take me in your mouth.”
She laughed a little, but it was mostly shock. Shock that his words felt like a blow. Like a violent shove of lust that nearly shattered her. This was a secret she hadn’t known. No wonder he’d pushed her so hard that night. This was magic, a power over another person’s body, over their voice and their will and pride.
God.
Grace parted her lips and pressed her open mouth to him. She let her tongue touch him and heard him suck in a breath at the heat.
As the taste of him spread over her tongue, her heart pounded hard and the tension between her legs wound tighter. She let him slide over her tongue until her lips were around the head, and then she sucked at him and heard him moan. She wanted to laugh again with the sheer joy of it, but she just slid off and then took him in again, a little deeper this time.
“Yes,” he hissed, his hips bucking a little. She teased him with her tongue, rubbing and sucking, then looked up to flash laughing eyes at him. He didn’t look amused. “More,” he ordered.
Another push of lust into her veins. He was a big man. Big and confident and overwhelmingly masculine. And she liked him issuing orders more than she would’ve expected.
She took more. Her lips stretched over him as his breathing roughened. She’d never be able to take him all, so she tightened her fist around the base of his shaft and worked it in time with her mouth.
“Oh, fuck,” he moaned. “Like that. God, that feels good. Just like that.”
She hummed her approval into his cock and worked him in and out of her mouth. On her knees. Taking more, just as he’d ordered.
“Grace. Jesus. Just…like that. Please.” His hand touched her head, barely grazing her hair. She knew he wanted to take her now. Twist his hand into her hair and make her take everything. Strange that she could feel so powerful in this pose, but she did. She felt like she could make this grown man weep for her.
She was so turned on. Nearly desperate. She slid her mouth slowly from him, marveling at how much of him she’d managed to take.
He was panting now, staring down at her, eyes glittering and dazed.
“Come here,” she whispered.
For a moment, he didn’t seem to understand what she meant. His gaze was blank, confused. But then he slid down to his knees and kissed her, his wet cock pressing hard into her belly. She pushed him until he sat down, then climbed onto his thighs and pushed him to his back.
“Condom?”
“Right. Yeah.” He turned his head and stared at his jeans for a moment, as if he weren’t quite sure of his movements. But he finally reached out just as Grace reached for him.
“Christ,” he cursed, as she wrapped a tight fist around his wet cock. He fumbled with the wrapper as she pumped her hand, thoroughly enjoying the way his hips jumped up in eagerness.
“Does that feel good?” she asked coyly.
“You know it does, damn it.” The plastic finally tore open, but he paused to watch her fist slide up and down him.
“What do you want now?” she asked, rising up on her knees to look down at him.
“You. Please. I want you riding me.”
“Yeah?” She stroked him again and reached for the condom.
“Yeah.” His voice was a little broken now. A little strained.
She slid the condom on and eased higher on his body. Then, holding him, she lowered her hips until the tip of him rubbed against her swollen sex. She sighed in relief and tilted her hips so that he slid over her clit. “Mmm.”
He watched every movement with eyes that looked like blue flame. His big hands wrapped over her hips, but he didn’t push her down. Instead he slipped her back and forth a little, letting her sex slide along the head of his cock. Now she was the one panting. But this time she didn’t have to beg for anything. She was in control. So she notched him against her opening and eased herself down.
“Oh,” she said and sighed as his thickness pressed her open. “Yes.”
His jaw was ticcing again. The muscles of his neck pressing tight against the skin.
“Yes.” She sighed. She felt full and tight and he was only halfway in. Grace rose back up, the pleasure of it making her hum again. His fingers squeezed hard on her hip, but he let her control the movement even when she rose high enough that he slid out completely. He muttered something so low and broken that she couldn’t hear it. Something angry or desperate, she couldn’t be sure. But he didn’t push her down.
As a reward, she let her hips sink and took him back inside her body. Deeper this time. Deep enough that she gasped, her lips parting with the delicious pressure of it. This time when she rose up it was just a little, and when she sank again, she took him all the way inside her.
His eyes were closed now, his jaw tight and solid with muscle, his brow furrowed as if he were concentrating.
She liked this. With him. She wanted to simply take from him, but she liked his part in it just as much as her own.
“Cole,” she said. He opened his eyes, and she began to ride him. Slow at first, feeling every millimeter of his cock as it slid inside her, caressing her, stretching her. Slow enough to rise all the way to the tip before sliding down again. His fingers dug in so hard that the skin felt numb beneath them, but she didn’t mind. She liked the reminder of his power. Not that she needed much of a reminder. His chest was wide beneath her. His hips narrow and muscled. Hair spread from just below the hollow of his throat all the way down to a narrow line of fur that trailed to his cock.
She slid a hand down her own belly, through the hair of her sex. She touched her pussy, letting her fingers brush over his shaft as it slid out of her, wet and hot. Then she touched her clit.
Cole’s eyes blazed as he lifted his head to watch.
She smiled. “You want to watch?”
“Fuck, yes.”
Now he took control of her hips, and she was glad. She concentrated on touching herself, rolling her clit beneath her fingers while he eased her hips up and down his shaft. Faster as her body yielded to him, getting even wetter.
“Tell me,” she ordered. “Tell me.”
“Fuck. You’re so gorgeous. So perfect. And your pussy’s so hot around me. Squeezing my cock. Jesus.”
She panted as his words worked through her.
“Are you going to come for me like this?” he asked. “Are you going to come while you ride my cock?”
His words wound around her like some wicked vine, squeezing tight, pricking thorns into her skin with a pain that ju
st pushed her pleasure higher.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, yes, yes.”
“Good. I want to watch you.” He began to thrust up as he pulled her hips down, and Grace gasped at the brutal invasion. “I want to watch you come while I feel you squeeze around me.”
“Yes. Oh, God. Cole. I…”
She leaned forward, putting her free hand to his chest. She dug her nails into his skin and clenched her eyes shut as she got closer to coming. “Oh, fuck.” God, he was so big. Too much. And as he said her name and urged her on, telling her exactly what to do and how to feel, Grace felt every tight sensation inside her body loosen for the briefest instant. And then it all wound painfully back again, turning and turning until… “Oh, God!” she screamed, as her body broke apart on a violent spasm. He slammed his hips up and held himself deep within her as she came. Then when the last of the clenching waves gripped her, he pulled her down to his chest and slowly turned them both until he was cradled between her legs.
“Grace.” He smoothed her hair off her face, the damp strands making her aware that her whole body was slick with sweat. He kissed her with surprising sweetness for a man who hadn’t come yet. But Grace was still catching her breath when he grew more urgent again.
He pressed her hands down, just as he had that first night. Only this time his hands held her wrists.
She moaned, half in surprised lust, and half in denial that she enjoyed it. But when Cole started moving in her again, she couldn’t deny how devastatingly good it was. To be filled with him and held down by him at the same time. It felt like more than being fucked. It felt like being taken.
He thrust slowly, but without any mercy, sinking himself as deep as he could. His hands felt like an extra connection, but when he shuddered and came, Grace suddenly wished her wrists were free. She wished she could put her arms around him and feel the muscles of his back straining as he came. That strange, stray thought scared her in a way his roughness never could.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
COLE FROWNED AS HE CAME OUT of the bathroom, his eyes roaming over the small apartment. He could see almost every corner of it from this vantage point. It wasn’t as if there was any furniture blocking his view.
Close Enough to Touch Page 16
