“She’s not my fiancée.”
With as much defiance as she could muster, she said, “Then what is she ... your baby’s mama?” Please tell me she’s not carrying your child. She waited for him to object. He didn’t. And her world crumbled. “I saw the ring.” She paused to swallow. When she spoke again, her voice had dropped an octave. “I saw her stomach.”
While gazing deeply in her eyes, Jay placed a gentle hand on her arm. “If you give me a few minutes, I’ll explain it all to you.” He wanted so desperately to hold her and kiss the pain away.
“What is there to explain?” Honey said, her anger flaring. “She looks ready to pop any day, which means she’s due any day now.” She paused, waiting again for some kind of denial. When Jay remained silent, Honey opened her mouth wide with disbelief. “So you were with her the same mothafuckin’ time you were trying to fuck me on my living room couch?”
Nodding, he raked a nervous hand across his head. Damn, he had fucked up. “It happened the night you threw me out.”
Looking at him, she shook her head in dismay. “BecauseI wouldn’t give your black ass none, you ... you left me to find someone up for the job.” Her heart was breaking in two. She had never expected him to remain celibate, but she hadn’t expected this either.
“It was nothing like that,” Jay said, rushing his words as his hand slid down her arm and latched on to her wrist. “I was hurt ... wasn’t thinking straight. I made a mistake.”
She jerked her arm away. “You should have trusted my ass enough to tell me the truth!” Chest heaving, she glared up at him with tearstained eyes. “How could you do this to us? How could you do this shit to me?”
“I’m so sorry. I fucked up by not telling you about the baby.” There was nothing more he could say. Now it was too late to undo the damage.
For a moment, time stood still as she watched him, her gray eyes stormy with anguish and streaming tears. He reached for her but she swatted his hand away. If she allowed him to touch her, there was no way she could remain strong. Jay had played her ass like a violin.She’d thought he was different. She couldn’t believeshe had allowed herself to believe that he truly loved her.
Jay sighed heavily. “I didn’t want you to find out this way. I was waitin’ for the right moment.”
“And when would that have been? After the baby was born? When he started school?” she cried. Not waiting for an answer, she continued, “Get the fuck out.”
He moved forward and grasped her shoulder. “All right, I’ll call you to—”
“No!” She jerked away, folded her arms across her chest, and turned to look out of the back window. She didn’t want him to see the fresh tears spilling from her eyes. “Just get the hell out,” she croaked. “Go home to your family. Go somewhere, anywhere, I don’t give a flyin’ fuck, just don’t ever call me again.”
After he left, all she could see were the clouds overhead.It was raining on her world again.
“How could you?”
Kendra gave a nonchalant shrug. “I thought she should know I’m carrying your child.”
Jay was so sick of her playing games with his life. The only thing stopping him from choking the shit out of her was the fact that she was pregnant.
“You had no right!” he said as he dropped into the recliner across from her.
“You’re wrong,” Kendra huffed. “I have a right to know who’s gonna be around my child.”
“What does it matter, Kendra? You don’t want the baby. You made that perfectly clear. I also made it clear that you and I are through. Why do you keep making this situation so damn difficult?”
Kendra leaned against the couch and scowled. Why couldn’t he fuckin’ cooperate? She was getting sick and tired of his shit. Nothing she was doing seemed to work. First, he takes a seat across from me as if he can’t stand being in the same room with me, and then he wants to get in my ass over his Tinkerbell-lookin’ girlfriend.Well, I ain’t having it.
“I’m tired of trying to prove how much I love you,” she said.
“You don’t love me, Kendra, you never have. You only love the concept of being in love. It’s not the same thing.”
“You’re one to talk ... I thought you didn’t believe in marriage and babies!”
“I didn’t ... but I’ve changed. I love Honey. I also love that child you’re carrying. But I don’t love you, Kendra, and it’s time you realized that. I plan to raise our child, which means Honey will also be a part of that baby’s life.” Even though Honey was angry with him, Jay damn sho wasn’t giving up.
“What?” Kendra blinked as if she’d been struck in the face. “You want some strange woman to raise our child?”
“Kendra, you were planning to give the baby away to complete strangers,” he hissed in frustration. “I’m gonna raise our child. I now believe I’ll be a great father.”He sighed. “I should never have considered givingthe baby up in the first place. I was scared.”
Kendra folded her arms and openly sulked. “What about me?”
Jay groaned. The woman’s head was made of bricks. “As I have said before, if you want to raise our baby, I’ll stand by you and support you in every way. If not, I want full custody. Either way, we will not be together.”
Throwing up her hands, she sighed. “Fine. You can have the stupid baby.”
He shook his head. Damn, he couldn’t stand her ass. She acted as if the baby were an old toy no one wanted to play with anymore. “Even though I’ll be raising our child, I’ll never keep him or her from you. Can we try to work on being friends?”
She rolled her eyes at the ceiling. “I don’t think so.”
Jay groaned. As much as he would like to never have to deal with her ass again, he knew Kendra would alwaysbe a part of his life, regardless of how difficult the situation would be. The big problem was that Kendra could be so fuckin’ selfish, there was no telling what she might do or say.
He rose. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
With her lips still poked out, Kendra answered bluntly, “Yeah. Get the fuck out.”
Jay cursed for the hundredth time. How could he have been so stupid?
He reached for a beer, fell back against the cushions of his couch, and picked up the remote control. He should have known her sneaky ass would find a way to tell Honey about the baby. Her vengeance should have come as no surprise. He’d heard her rant and rave on several occasions about getting even with one person or another. Once, Kendra had even gone so far as to start a rumor that one of the other dentists in the area was gay just so he would lose business. He couldn’t understand why Kendra had a driving need to make other people’s lives just as miserable as her own. She was out of control.
Yes ... if he’d been thinking and had used his head, he would have realized that as soon as he told Kendra he loved someone else, she was going to cause trouble. Tilting his head back, he took a long swig of the beer.
It wasn’t hard to figure out how Kendra found out who Honey was. He was certain Kendra had somehow wriggledit out of Natalia. His nostrils flared. She’d always been good at getting Nat to feel sorry for her ass. But he couldn’t blame Natalia. It was no one’s fault but his own. Terraine had warned him of the consequences, but he’d chosen to ignore that, wanting to do things his way. What a fool he had been! If he had told Honey the truth in the beginning, none of this would have happened.Now he had to find a way to make things right.
Jay took another angry swallow. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. He had just thought ... well, he wasn’t sure what he thought anymore. At the time, keeping the truth from her was important, but now the reason seemed ridiculous.
While tapping the can across his knee, he tried to make sense of it all. He’d made a terrible mistake, and he was wrong ... yet he refused to let the incident come between them. After months of melting her resistance,nothing was going to keep him from the woman he loved.
His eyebrows drew together as he pondered several possibilities. Honey wasn’t taking
any of his calls. He briefly considered popping up at the salon, but discardedthe idea. There was too much of an audience there. After Kendra’s performance, he was certain his showing up wasn’t a smart idea. He considered going to her house and banging on her door until she let him in. But he couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t call the police.
The phone in the kitchen rang. Certain it wasn’t Honey he ignored it, and after three rings the answering machinecame on.
“Jay, it’s Tee. Sasha’s in labor.”
Seventeen
Honey arrived at the hospital to find Roxaner pacing in the waiting area. With a smile, Honey headed to her and dropped a kiss on her cheek.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Roxaner said, looking relieved.“This waiting is getting the better of me.”
“Thanks for rememberin’ to call me,” Honey said as she moved to take a seat. “How long has Sasha been in labor?”
“It’s been about eight hours. She called me early this evening when the contractions first began. When they were twenty minutes apart, Terraine brought her to the hospital.” Although she was wringing her hands nervously,Roxaner’s eyes shone with excitement. “Her obstetrician just went back in, so we should be hearing something real soon.”
Honey laced her fingers in her lap and beamed up at her. “Then relax, Grandma. You’ll need all your energy.”
Nodding, Roxaner decided to walk down the hall and try to calm her nerves. On her way out, Jay entered the room.
“Hey.”
Honey looked up from a baby magazine she was thumbing through, and had to work hard to keep her voice calm as she said, “Hello.” Being around him wasn’t going to be easy. His greeting was a husky whisper that vibrated through her veins. Just the sight of him made her heart flutter wildly in her chest. However,as soon as she remembered his baby—and his baby’s mother—the erratic rhythm stopped.
Part of her wanted to scratch his eyes out. The other part wanted Jay to assure her that everything was going to be the way it had been. But she knew there was no way they could turn back. If that were possible, she would have traveled back almost ten years. For her and Jay, things would never be the same. Not now. Not ever.
Face flushed with humiliation and anger, she dropped her eyes, but raised her head at the sound of a baby cryingin the background.
Jay moved to take a seat next to her. “Sounds like somebody just had a baby.”
His pants leg rubbed against her. She didn’t dare look his way.
“Are you ready to be a godmother?”
Nodding, she couldn’t resist the faint smile. “Are you ready to be an uncle?” she asked. She finally turned to look at him and found dark circles under his eyes.
“Actually, I am. I never guessed I’d be looking forwardto holdin’ a baby in my arms, but I can’t wait.”
Honey turned away. “Neither can I.”
Jay didn’t miss the flash of pain in her eyes. “Honey ... baby, we need to talk.”
With an exasperated sigh, she tossed the magazine back on the table. “Jay, we don’t have shit to talk about.”
“How can you say that? I love you, boo.”
“If you loved me, you would have told me.”
“I know, I know. I made a big fuckin’ mistake.” Feelingthe overwhelming need to touch her, he grasped her arm. “But we can work this out.”
Trying to ignore the hopeful glint in his eyes, she tried to pull away. “No, we can’t.”
“Yes, we can.” He held on firmly. “How many times do I have to tell you your heart belongs to me?”
“And how many times do I have to tell you it’s over?” she hissed. “You have a responsibility to your unborn child and to ... to Kendra. I think you need to concentrate on them and leave me the hell alone!”
“Tell me you don’t want me anymore ... that you haven’t thought about me once since I left your house ... and I’ll leave you alone.” His voice was hoarse and tired.
“I don’t want you anymore.”
“You know your ass is lying.” Her eyes told him so, and he sighed with rising frustration. “I’m not gonna beg.”
“Then don’t,” she snapped.
He shook his head. “You’ve been looking for any excuse to keep us apart. Now you want to throw our relationshipaway.”
She snatched her arm away and said, “You did that when you got someone else pregnant!” She couldn’t help the bitterness of her words. She wanted him to hurt like she hurt.
The tension was still there when Roxaner returned carrying three sodas, but she missed their strained expressionsas she handed one to each of them and asked, “Have we heard anything yet?”
Jay shook his head. “No, we haven’t heard anything.”
Honey leaned back against the chair and took a deep breath, grateful for the interruption, but also surprised by Jay’s confidence that they still had a future together. However, she’d never been a weak woman, so there was no point in starting now. And what could he possiblysay that would make a difference?
But Jay wasn’t letting her get off so easy. He leaned toward her and whispered in her ear, “We’re gonna talk later.”
Just then Terraine entered the room, wearing a wide grin. “Well, like we already knew, it’s a girl!”
Jay rose and slapped his brother on the back. Roxanerexclaimed and clasped her hands together as the tears came streaming down her face.
Honey also moved to embrace him. “Congratulations.I can’t wait to see her.”
“She’s beautiful, just like her mother,” he said, beaming.“They’re weighing her now. I came out to bring her grandmother in to see her. See you guys in a few.” TakingRoxaner by the hand, he escorted her down the hall, leaving Jay and Honey alone again.
Jay gave a whoop, then said, “My brother the daddy. Who would ever have guessed?”
Honey gave him a mumbled excuse and disappeared to the restroom at the end of the hall. Once inside she reached for a paper towel, wet it, and pressed it against her forehead. Her hands were shaking. This couldn’t possibly be happening to her.
That man could make her so damn mad at times. How dare he try to turn the tables on her? She wasn’t the one having a baby. She loved him, and he had gottenanother woman pregnant.
And it bothers you.
Yes, she was so jealous she could scream ... becauseshe would never be able to give him a child.
Leaning against the sink, she took a deep breath. It was probably for the best their relationship was over, because otherwise she’d have had to tell him she couldn’t have children. Their breakup saved her from the embarrassment.
So why didn’t she feel any better?
Because you love his lying no-good ass.
She was supposed to be angry with Jay, but seeing him, she wasn’t quite as angry as she wanted to be. Her body reacted to his presence, her heart hammered at the sound of his voice, being around him made it almostimpossible to stay in control.
Deep down, she knew there had to be a logical explanation.Jay would never play both sides of the fence. But instead of listening to him, she was using his mistakeas an excuse to end their relationship while she still could.
Yes, it was probably for the best. Jay had made his feelings clear with words, and she’d seen the desire in his eyes to have a child of his own. And he was ... only it was going to be with another woman. How could she deny him such a blessing? Despite his deceptions,she still loved him. But there was no future for them. There was no way she could deny him what he wanted most—a family of his own.
Holding a hand over her heart, she attempted to releasethe emotional pain. The tears came streaming down her face. She removed the towel from her foreheadand used it to pat her eyelids while she gave herselfa stern command to pull herself together.
She reached for another paper towel to blow her nose, then looked at her red-rimmed eyes. She reached inside her purse and removed her compact. Once she was satisfied with her appearance, she returned to the waiting room.
She found Jay, Roxaner, and Terraine standing outsidethe nursery window wearing smiles of joy. Blinkingback a fresh set of tears, she joined them and pressed her face against the glass. When she looked down at the crib in front of the window labeled BABY GIRL ANDREWS, her heart swelled, and she gasped. She was beautiful.
She watched the nurse put a diaper on the baby and then slide a small pink hospital gown over her tiny body. Her hand was curled into a fist that she proceededto suckle. The little darling turned her head towardthe window as if she knew she was being watched. She had caramel skin like her mother, with a head full of curly dark brown hair, and stared up at them with a pair of brown eyes identical to her father’s. And Uncle Jay’s. Honey sucked in her breath.
“I think we have another model on our hands,” Roxaner said.
Honey nodded in spite of her pain. “You better get the shotgun ready. She’s gonna be a heartbreaker.”
“Don’t let me catch any nappy-headed boys hangingaround,” Terraine replied.
Jay crept up behind Honey and locked his arms around her waist. Closing her eyes, she tried to stay in control as the strength of his body heated her own. He was trying to penetrate her resistance. If she didn’t stand strong, he would succeed.
Dropping a kiss to the side of her neck, Jay whispered,“Our daughter will be just as beautiful.”
Her spine stiffened as she turned to glare at him. “I wish you would stop it. You’re already havin’ a baby and it’s not by me!” she whispered harshly as she wriggledfree.
“Is everything okay?” Roxaner said, sensing somethingwas wrong.
“Yes, I’m fine,” Honey said, then moved over near Roxaner and curled an arm around her waist.
Jay was hurt by her rejection, but determined. Somehow, he would find a way to get her to understand he hadn’t meant to deceive her.
Terraine came over and stood next to him. Still staring at the nursery window, he asked, “So, lil’ bro, what do you think? You still want to give all this up?”
When It Rains... Page 27
