by L. Wilder
I couldn’t take it a second longer. I had to get away from him, even if it was only for a moment. I walked over and propped my elbows on the rail as I looked out at the endless, blue ocean. I took a deep breath as I listened to the soothing sounds of the waves crashing on the rocks below. Just as I was starting to relax, I heard the door creak open. I didn’t have to look to know he was there. I could feel him. A warmth would wash over my entire body whenever he was around, and even after all these years, I still felt that same rush of heat. I hated that he still had such an effect on me. I held my breath as he walked over next to me, standing just inches away.
He was so close.
I could touch him.
I could wrap my arms around him. Hold him. Kiss him.
Make love to him.
It was all too much, and I was about to lose my resolve when he said, “You’ll never know how sorry I am that I hurt you, Harper.” I didn’t respond. I just kept staring straight ahead as he said, “I’m not asking you to forgive me. I don’t deserve forgiveness. I am just asking for a chance to … to be your friend again.”
I didn’t bother looking down at his hand. I knew the ring he’d once worn for me was gone, and I silently cursed myself for even caring. Without thinking, my hand went to my neck, seeking the necklace I’d once worn. For years, I’d kept Max’s ring close to my heart, and I was devastated when I lost it down the bathtub drain. Just thinking about how much it had meant to me made my heart ache, and I knew there was no way I could be just his friend. It would hurt too much. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Harper .”
“Don’t, Max. You know as well as I do that we could never be friends.”
“I don’t see why not. We were before. I don’t see why we couldn’t be again.”
“Maybe because not only did you break my heart, you ripped it out and threw it to the damn wolves.”
“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?” He mocked. “And you weren’t the only one hurting back then. It wasn’t exactly easy for me either.”
“Then, you should’ve done something about it. You should’ve answered my letters.”
“Maybe … but I never opened them.”
“What?”
“I still have them … each and every one, but I never had the heart to read them.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I was completely stunned. Anger and hurt flooded over me as I shouted, “I laid out my heart and soul in those letters, and you didn’t have the decency to open them?”
“I couldn’t do it!” His voice was strained as he continued, “I knew if I read them I wouldn’t have the strength to stay away, and I’d only end up coming back and hurting you even more.”
“Or maybe we would’ve found strength in each other, and we wouldn’t be standing here arguing about it now.”
“I fucked up, Harper. I know that, but that was a long time ago.”
“You did. And I’ve moved on. It’s time for you to do the same.” I motioned for him to leave and said, “Just go, Max. There’s nothing else to be said.”
Thankfully, he didn’t fight me. Instead, he walked down the steps, got in his car, and drove away. I went inside and pulled out my laptop. I had it in my head that I needed to get some pages done, but after staring at the screen for almost an hour, I hadn’t written a single word. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t focus. My mind kept drifting back to Max and the hurt look on his face when I told him to leave. I finally gave up and went to the kitchen to make dinner. As I started cutting up the different vegetables, I started to worry that I’d made the wrong decision in turning him away. I even considered reaching out to him, but quickly realized I couldn’t. I didn’t have his phone number. I had no idea where he lived or who he worked for. Like it or not, I was stuck. It was times like these that I wished Natalie wasn’t a thousand miles away. I needed someone to talk to, someone who had the time to listen, but she was busy with her new job and three young children. The last thing she needed was another one of my venting sessions about Max Lanheart. I’d have to figure this one out on my own.
Just as I was putting my soup on to simmer, I heard my phone vibrating on the counter. When I picked it up, I saw that it was another message from Daniel. He’d been trying to reach me since last night, and with everything that was going on, I hadn’t responded. As much as I didn’t want to talk to him, I knew he’d just keep sending messages if I didn’t call him back.
It only rang once, when he answered, “Hey. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, Daniel. Everything’s fine.”
I could hear the concern in his voice as he said, “I’m glad to hear that. I was worried. I haven’t heard anything from you since yesterday afternoon.”
“I’m sorry. I got distracted with the book.”
“Are you getting much done?”
“I’m getting there.” I lied.
“Good. Since you’re doing so well with it, I was thinking I might come down this weekend and take you to dinner or something.”
I felt myself cringe at the thought, and quickly told him, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Daniel. I’m finally making progress, and I don’t want to lose my momentum.”
“Okay,” he replied sounding overly disappointed.
Trying to keep things positive, I told him, “Just remember … the sooner I get done, the sooner I’ll be back.”
“Then get off the phone and get to work, woman!” He teased.
“I will. Goodnight, Daniel.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
Once I hung up, I grabbed my coat and headed outside to walk along the beach. The sun had already set, and even though it was freezing cold outside, I needed a minute to clear my head. With each step I took, another memory came rushing back—the same memories I spent years trying to forget, but never truly could. I loved Max. I’d loved him from the moment he’d saved my cat from that stupid tree, and no matter how hard I tried, there was no way I could ever truly forget him. He meant too much to me, and I owed it to us both to at least try to make amends with him. Unfortunately, I’d have to find him first.
It was colder than I’d realized, and my ears and nose were practically numb as I started back to the cabin. I picked up my pace and was almost home, when I noticed a familiar figure walking in my direction. He was still wearing the same dark gray slacks and white button down. Only this time he wasn’t wearing a coat, and even though the wind was whipping around him, he was too busy staring at me to even notice. As soon as I made it over to him, he scolded, “You shouldn’t be out here at this time of night.”
“I’m fine, Max,” I told him as I continued towards the door. “I just took a little walk. No big deal.”
“It is a big deal, Harper. You’re by yourself out here in the middle of nowhere and …”
“Max ,” I huffed. “Relax. I’m perfectly fine.”
With his eyebrow cocked, he growled, “It’s not safe.”
“Point taken … and when you’re done with all your macho security stuff and need a break, I’ve got something I wanted to say to you.”
“Um-hmm, and what’s that?”
“I’ve decided to give the friend thing a try.” When I saw hope flash through his eyes, I added, “But I’m not making any promises, Max.”
“I’m not asking for promises, Harper. I’m just asking for a chance.”
“Then, I guess you have it.” I started inside as I looked back at him and asked, “It’s freezing out here. Where’s your coat?”
“I left it here.”
“Oh. Let me grab it for you.”
“I would’ve come back for it some other time, but I …” his voice trailed off as he started walking towards the stove. “What’s that?”
“Ahhh …That would be soup.” I laughed as I handed him his coat.
“Wait.” His eyes lit up with excitement as he asked, “That wouldn’t be your mom’s vegetable soup, would it?”
“Actually
, it is.” Before I realized what I was saying, I offered, “You’re welcome to stay and have a bowl if you’d like.”
“Hell, yeah. There’s no way I’m going to pass that up.”
After I made up a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches, and by the time I got us each a bowl of soup, the entire cabin smelled like home. As soon as I sat his bowl down, Max reached for his spoon and took a large bite. “Oh, man. It’s even better than I remembered.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
Just as he was about to take another bite, he asked, “So, what brings you out to Whiskey Creek of all places.”
“I needed a little quiet time to work on my new book, and one of my co-workers suggested that I come out here for a few weeks.”
“Why didn’t you just go out to your folk’s place?”
“I would have, but they sold it.” I took a drink of my tea and tried to keep my voice from breaking as I continued, “It was filled with too many memories, so my dad decided it was time to let it go.”
“I hate to hear that.” Disappointment crossed his face as he leaned back in his chair. “I always loved it there.”
“I did, too. I had a lot of good times there.”
“We all did. And your folks? How are they doing?”
“They’re okay. Dad is getting ready to retire and is threatening to get an RV so he can take Mom traveling around the country. To say the least, she isn’t thrilled about the idea.”
Max laughed then said, “I can think of worse ways to spend my retirement.”
“You know Mom. She’ll go and end up loving it. I just think her idea of traveling didn’t include a house on wheels.”
“I’m sure it didn’t.”
“What about your girl, Natalie? Do you still talk to her?”
“We talk when we can, but she’s got her hands full with three small kids and a new teaching job.”
“Natalie is a teacher?”
“Yep. Believe it or not, she’s really great at it.”
We spent the next half hour eating and talking, and once we were done, Max offered to make a fire. I’d considered telling him no, but I wasn’t ready for him to go. I liked having him here. I liked it a lot.
CHAPTER 11
Max
A s I sat there talking with Harper, I wanted to be the old Max, the guy who she’d loved all those years ago, or anyone other than me. I didn’t want to be the man who was responsible for her brother’s death, or the man who’d broken her heart, but whether I liked it or not, I was that man. As much as I wanted to change the past, I knew I couldn’t. It was a part of us, and like a puppet master with an evil plan, it guided our each and every move, using our mistakes against us. I had no idea how to cut the strings, but I had to try. I had to convince Harper to take a chance on me—a chance on us, otherwise I’d live out the rest of my life consumed with regret.
After I threw another log on the fire, I walked back over to the sofa and sat down next to Harper. As she reached for a blanket and pulled it over her legs, she said, “So, tell me. How did you end up in Clallam County?”
“Just by chance, I guess. After I finished out my tour, I spent some time working odd jobs and traveling. I was on a flight home when I met Nathan. We started talking, and a week later I moved here, and I’ve been working for him ever since.” Before she had a chance to ask for more details, I asked, “What about you? How did you get started writing?”
“Wait! Nathan is who you do security for?”
“Yes.”
“And you met him on an airplane?”
“More or less.”
“What does this guy do?”
“He works in trade … does business all over the country.”
“What kind of business?” She pushed.
There was no way I could tell her the truth—that I was helping to distribute the very weapons I’d used and fought against in Iraq. There was no way she could understand. Hell, there were times I didn’t understand it myself. I’d let myself believe that it was my way of taking the control back, that I had some kind of say, but I knew that wasn’t true. Just like when I was in the Marines, I didn’t get to decide who lived or died, otherwise it would’ve been me in that grave back home instead of Brody.
“It’s not important.” Trying once again to change the topic, I said, “I’d rather hear about you.”
“There’s not much to tell. I was working as an editor and liked it, but when I was reading everyone else’s books, I kept thinking about all the stories I wanted to write. I finally pitched one of my ideas, and my boss decided to take a chance with me. The rest is history.”
“So, in this new book … are we finally going to find out who the killer really is?”
“You’ve read my books?”
“I’ve read everything you’ve ever written,” I admitted.
“Except my letters .” When I saw her smile, I knew she was just teasing, so I shook my head and gave her a sarcastic laugh. “Anyway, yes. This book will be the last one in the series, so you’ll finally find out who is behind all the murders.”
“You’re really something, Harper. I can’t believe I know a famous author.”
She shook her head. “Don’t get carried away. I’m far from famous.”
“You’re a best seller. I’d say that makes you famous. I bet you have all kinds of fans waiting on the edge of their seat for this new book.”
“I might have a few.” She giggled. “I actually received a message last night from a woman in Lithuania, and I have a few others in Canada and the UK who read for me.”
“Lithuania. That’s amazing.” I could see that she liked talking about her books, so I asked, “And these people in Canada and the UK? What do you mean by ‘they read for you’?”
“It’s not a big deal. I send them …”
Her voice trailed off when my phone started to ring. I quickly reached for it, and when I saw that it was Nitro calling, I stood up and started towards the door. “I need to take this.”
She nodded and watched as I walked out the front door. As soon as I was out of earshot and answered, Nitro’s voice said, “We’ve got a problem.”
“I’m headed that way.”
I shoved my phone back in my pocket, and as I stepped back inside the cabin, Harper was in the kitchen washing dishes. I walked towards her and she asked, “Is everything okay?”
“Something’s up at work. I’ve got to get going.”
“Okay.” She forced a smile, but I knew she was just as disappointed as I was. I liked being with her and hated the thought of leaving. “I really enjoyed tonight.”
“I did, too. More than you know.” I needed to hold her, even if it was just for a moment, so I took a step towards her and wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to my chest. Taking in a deep breath, I inhaled her scent, and savored the moment as I felt her body next to mine. For so long, all I had were memories, but none of them compared to this moment. She felt so damn good, and when she slipped her arms around my waist, pulling me closer, I feared I’d never be able to let her go. It was like the missing piece of my soul had finally returned, and I was whole again at last. Knowing one night would never be enough, I said, “I want to see you again.”
With her arms still wound around my waist, she looked up at me and smiled. “Okay, we’ll figure something out.”
I kissed her lightly on the forehead before I forced myself to take a step back. She followed me to the door and just before I stepped outside, I gave her one of my business cards. “If you need anything, just give me a call.”
As she took it from my hand, she smiled and said, “Okay. Goodnight, Max.”
“Goodnight, Harper. I’ll see you soon.”
Pulling out of that driveway wasn’t an easy task. All of my hopes and dreams were in that little cabin, and the last thing I wanted to do was leave, especially when she was there alone. I knew the area was relatively safe, but it was miles away from town and had very little security. I knew if she w
as going to continue staying there, I’d have to do something, but for now, I had other issues to contend with.
To say that things in the gun-trafficking world were unpredictable would be the understatement of the century. Over the past six months, Nitro had a run-in with Cotton, the president of Satan’s Fury MC and our biggest client. That run-in ultimately caused us to cut ties with them, or them with us. The details were never clarified on my end. Shortly after, I was shot and almost died while trying to rescue Nitro’s girl from a group of greedy, second-hand criminals. Just as I was recovering, we were contacted by a small, unknown group of bikers who wanted to offer us a load of unmarked artillery—the very same artillery that had just been heisted from Satan’s Fury. Needless to say, this information gave Nitro the means to mend fences with our former client, and we were finally getting back to normal. Then came Frankie.
I could only assume that Nitro’s latest call had something to do with Frankie and his big, fucking mouth. I’d put up with enough of his bullshit and was ready to deal with him on my own; unfortunately, I wasn’t the boss. It was up to Nitro to decide how we handled him. I was eager to hear what was going on as I headed to the warehouse. It was after ten when I pulled up, and Nitro was waiting for me as I got out of my car. Nitro wasn’t a man you ever wanted to piss off, not unless you had a death wish. It was clear from the expression on his face that he was biting back his rage, which was never a good sign.
As I got out of the car, I asked, “What’s going on?”
“Someone broke into Frankie’s warehouse out on Tulum Road.”
“How the hell did that happen?” I groaned. “What about his security system and guard?”
“Let’s say they were both out of date and easy to disable.” He ran his hand over his face and sighed. “They made a real mess of the place.”
“Got any idea why?”
“I’d say they were sending a message about something Frankie fucked up, but can’t say for sure,” he growled. “I’ve just about reached my limit with him.”
