by L. J. Smith
Chapter 42
Meredith ran across campus, her feet pounding in a steady rhythm, her breath coming in harsh, painful gasps. Her legs were aching. She'd been running for a long time, looping across the campus paths again and again. Stinging sweat trickled into her eyes, making them blink and water.
The harder she ran, the longer she could keep herself from thinking about anything except the slap of her running shoes against the ground or the sound of her own breath.
The day was starting to edge into evening as she took the curve past the history building again and started up the hill toward the dining hall. When she crested the hill, Alaric was waiting at the top.
"Hi," Meredith said, coming to a stop as she drew even with him. "Are you waiting for me?" She pulled up one foot to stretch out her quadriceps; she didn't want to cramp up.
"I wanted to make sure that you were okay," Alaric said.
"I'm fine," Meredith said dully. She let her foot drop and instead laced her hands behind her and folded forward, so that her head was almost touching her knees. She could feel her spine lengthening, and she had also begun to feel the ache from running for so long.
"Meredith?" Alaric knelt down beside her so that he could look up into her face. Meredith concentrated on the golden freckles scattered across his nose and the tops of his cheekbones, because she didn't want to meet his worried brown eyes. Their color was like honey against his tanned skin.
"Meredith?" Alaric said again. "Could you unpretzel yourself and talk to me for a minute? Please?"
Meredith unfolded, but didn't meet Alaric's eyes. Instead, she twisted from side to side, pulling her shoulders forward in turn. "I have to stretch or my muscles will get sore," she muttered.
Alaric stood and watched her, waiting calmly.
After a while, Meredith began to feel childish for not meeting Alaric's gaze, and she straightened and looked him squarely in the eye. He was still just standing there patiently, his face soft with sympathy.
"I know," she said. "I know everything you're going to say. "
"Do you?" Alaric asked. He reached out and tucked back a long piece of hair that had come out of her ponytail, his hand lingering against her cheek. "Because I don't have the faintest idea what to say. I can't imagine what it must feel like to meet your brother for the first time and then have to kill him. "
"Yeah," Meredith sighed, and wiped the sweat off her face. "I don't know what to feel, either. It's almost like Cristian was never real to me. He was just a story, something the Guardians could change in an instant. "
She drew a line with the toe of her sneaker in the dust at the side of the path. "Ultimately," she said, "I never knew him at all. He talked about . . . oh, going to the beach and stuff, and the way our dad is. I could imagine that world, the world where we were a team. " She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. "But everything was a lie, for him and for me. "
Alaric wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled Meredith closer to him. "It's not fair," he said seriously. "Klaus destroyed a lot of people's lives. In the end, you were a big part of bringing him down and stopping that destruction, and you should be proud of that. And that other life, the one where he grew up happy, with a sister, it wasn't a lie. There was a world where Cristian loved you, and you loved him. That's still true. You and your friends made that happen. "
Burying her face against Alaric's neck, Meredith said in a muffled voice, "My parents will never get over this, losing him again. "
"Maybe it's better that they knew Cristian for this long, that they got to see him grow up instead of losing him when he was three, the way things were in the world you remember," Alaric suggested gently.
"Maybe. " Meredith rolled her head on Alaric's shoulder until she was leaning against his shoulder and gazing out across the campus. "Do you know what Cristian said to me, at the end? I was about to stake him, and he said in this low, sort of secretive voice, 'Dad would be so proud of you. ' And you know what? He was right. Maybe part of Cristian wanted me to kill him, for me to be strong. "
Alaric tightened his arms around her. "You are strong, Meredith. You're the bravest person I've ever known. "
"You're brave, too," Meredith said, sinking into his embrace. She thought of Alaric chanting spells, trying to raise Power to protect them all during the battle, going up against a vampire army with nothing but a stake and a spell book. "I love you so much," she said. "I want you with me, always. "
Alaric's lips brushed across the back of her neck. "Me too," he murmured. "It's an honor to fight beside you, Meredith Sulez. And don't you ever forget it. "
