This time, I pushed past his ass and bumped him out of the way. I had my duffle bag over my shoulder as I walked over to the foot of the bed, slid my feet in my slippers, then picked up my purse and put it on my other shoulder.
“Shorty, you don’t even believe that shit. Go ahead and get the fuck out. You talking too much big shit for me and if I black your eye, Ima be wrong” he said, walking out of the closet and stepping further into the bedroom.
“You don’t have to tell me to get out! I’m already leaving, nigga. I’m going home to my real baby daddy!” I spat, and he damn near jumped across the room to get to where I was.
I screamed and tried to move because all I saw was his big, cocky ass coming my way, and I instantly thought that he was going to hit me. I didn’t move fast enough because, in no time, he was on me, all in my personal space. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he wanted to slap the shit out of me, but for whatever reason, he didn’t. I knew he was angry because of the veins popping out in his arms and the hardcore look on his face.
“Didn’t I tell your ass to shut the fuck up? You fuckin’ another nigga, Mahogany?” he asked.
He had me backed into the wall with my arms above my head, looking like he was ready to kill me if I said yes. I didn’t answer him because I wanted to see him sweat. After this, I swear I was done with this crazy ass nigga. In the beginning, I was fine with the fact that this nigga had lost a few screws, but now, that shit was just too fuckin’ overbearing.
“Play stupid all you want. You don’t even have to answer it for me. I know you not fuckin’ another nigga. I just fucked you yesterday, and you still gripped my dick like a fuckin’ glove. You got me now, shorty. I don’t know if it’s love or what, but I’m feeling something, so if you even think about fuckin’ around on me, you may as well start digging your grave and that nigga’s. Put them fuckin’ bags down. I done already told your simple ass that you’re not going nowhere. Matter of fact, I want you to move in. Yeah, that’s what we going to do. You wanted to know what we are, right? Move your shit in here with me, and that tells you everything you need to know about the status of this damn relationship. I’m going outside on the porch to smoke. You done stressed a nigga out.”
He roughly brought my arms down and walked out of the bedroom. Jabari’s ass was so fuckin’ crazy that I didn’t even want to test him by trying to leave, so I took my shoes back off and took a seat at the foot of the bed.
My phone was sitting on the bed, so I picked it up to call Shae. I was so fuckin’ happy that my friend finally got some dick. Swear I wanted to cry tears of joy when he called me and told me that she and Miami had finally had sex. The phone rang a couple of times before she finally answered. From the wind that I heard, I could tell she was inside the car.
“Hey, sis. What’s going on?”
I smiled upon hearing her voice because I felt like the old Jashae was making her way out these days. I didn’t think that she would ever be fully over what happened to Vonte, but I could sense that she was happier these days. That’s all I and everyone around her really wanted.
“Where are you?” I questioned.
“Girl, I’m just leaving the office. Since I started back Monday, this has been the time that I’ve been leaving. Is it too soon to request a damn vacation?” she asked, followed by a laugh.
“It’s never too soon. I gotta tell you something,” I said, unable to hold this little revelation.
“Oh Lord, what the hell happened? Every time you start a conversation off with you have to tell me something, it always ends badly. Pleaseeee, don’t tell me you killed Jabari,” she said, and I had to laugh.
What kind of person did she think I was?
“No, but I want to. It’s worse, I’m pregnant,” I said.
The words felt so weird coming out of my mouth. I’d never even had a pregnancy scare before, so this was definitely awkward as hell for me.
“Girllll, I knew you spending all those nights over there was going to catch up to you. I’m sooo happy. Congratulations. You gotta have a girl. I gotta go with you to the first doctor’s appointment. Did you call and make it yet? Omg, what did Jabari sa—”
“Shae! We don’t plan to keep it,” I said, cutting her off.
If I hadn’t, she would have still been asking question after question.
“What? Why? Mahogany, why?” she asked, and I could hear the sadness in her voice.
“Jabari said that he wasn’t ready, and—”
“Girl, fuck what he’s ready for! That nigga knew what he was doing! The question is, are you ready?” she quizzed.
“Shae, I don’t know! I’m so damn conflicted. On one end, I wouldn’t mind being a mother, but on the other end, I don’t know the first thing about being somebody’s mother. Then, I don’t want to keep it and just become a baby mama and have Jabari resenting me after he already made it clear that he wanted me to get an abortion. On top of that, I don’t think Jabari and I are the poster picture for parents. I’m getting high with him just about every other day, and the shit we say to each other isn’t some shit that a kid is supposed to take in. Shae, I barely even know this nigga,” I shared.
“Sis, I’m sorry, but I hear a bunch of excuses. At the end of the day, it’s your body, so it’s your decision. Nobody is the poster picture for a parent. You learn to become one as the days go by. I was a baby when I had Vonte. I didn’t even know how to change a damn diaper, but sis, I learned. I know you want to have this baby. You’re good with kids. I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit. What I just lost, you have the chance to have that now. Motherhood is beautiful. It’s hard as hell, but beautiful, nonetheless. It’s not up to me to make this decision for you, but whatever you decide to do, just know that I got you,” she assured me.
We stayed on the phone until she made it to Miami’s house, and then I finally let her go. I didn’t want to ruin her night with all my drama. I ended up falling back on the bed and resting my head on two of the pillows. I lay there for a good five minutes until I felt my eyes getting heavy. In no time, I was knocked out. I was free from all conversation and thoughts of this pregnancy until I woke up and had to face it again.
Jabari Brooks
A week later, and here we were. Although it’s what I wanted to do, that didn’t mean I was okay with doing this shit. I didn’t want to face this shit. I knew Mahogany didn’t want to either. I didn’t speak on it, but I heard her this morning crying in the bathroom when she was getting ready. I honestly didn’t know if Mahogany wanted to get the abortion or not because I hadn’t asked her. I was going off what she told me months ago, and months ago, she said that she didn’t want any children.
A fly inside this car wouldn’t be able to run back and tell shit because there was no talking. The radio played softly in the background, but I doubt either of us was paying it any attention. The whole drive to the clinic, I stole little glances at Mahogany here and there. Her face was emotionless. She wore some tights with a black hoodie. Her full, curly hair was pulled back into a big ass ponytail, and one of her legs was pulled up in the seat as her other one rested on the floor. I could feel her nerves all the way from where I was sitting. It’s like I didn’t even exist to her because since she woke up this morning, she hadn’t said shit to my ass.
The next morning after we found out that she was pregnant, and I told her to move in, shorty did the complete opposite. I’d left out that morning to go to the gym, and when I got back, her as was gone, and all of her shit was gone too. Shorty was so motha fuckin’ petty that she even took all her soaps and shit out of the bathroom, her little house shoes that she kept in my room, and the snacks that she had in my pantry.
I didn’t know how to chase behind no woman, so I didn’t. I hadn’t seen Mahogany since the day we found out about the pregnancy. We went to bed with each other that night, I left her in the bed sleeping the next morning, and when I got back, she was gone. I’ll tell you this. Since she left, I ain’t really been fee
ling the same. I didn’t have an appetite for shit, and after I went to work, I brought my ass straight home. I hadn’t been to the strip club in about three weeks.
Almost ten minutes later, we pulled into the plaza where the clinic was. We were about thirty minutes early, so we didn’t get out right away. I parked the car right in front of the suite that we would go into. The windows were rolled down, so we could pretty much hear everything outside.
A kid’s boutique was next door to the clinic, and we watched as a Hispanic looking mother come out of the store with her two children. She had two girls. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but the oldest daughter looked as if she was about eight, and the younger one was maybe four or five. The mother had the bag from the store on her shoulder while she held onto each of their hands. Nothing really out of the ordinary was going on with them, but for whatever reason, it held both of our attention because Mahogany was looking as well.
“I can’t wait to wear my new dress to the birthday party tomorrow. Thank you, Mommy. I love you so much,” I heard the older daughter say as her mom helped her get in the car.
Their car was literally parked so close to ours that we were able to hear their entire conversation.
“I love you too, baby girl,” I heard the mom say.
“Me too, Mommy? What about me?” the youngest daughter asked.
“Of course, you too,” the mother went on to say.
I don’t know why, but that shit warmed the fuck out of my heart. It was beautiful. The moment the three of them were inside the car, and they pulled off, Mahogany quickly got out, making sure to slam the door in the process. Stupid shit like that made me want to get out of the car, chase her stupid ass, and choke her out. Because I didn’t go around putting my hands on women, I sat in the car for a few minutes and counted to ten, forward and backward. It was a little technique that I’d learned years ago in high school when my teacher thought that I needed to take anger management.
That shit kind of just stuck. It had kept me from going to jail a few times. I finally got out of the car, and when I walked inside, there was a handful of people in the waiting room. I scanned the room until my eyes fell on Mahogany. She was sitting in the back, filling out papers. Her head was down, so she didn’t even know that I was in there.
I took a seat in the empty chair that was next to her. The nigga in me wanted to get on her ass for slamming my car door like that, but I figured it wasn’t the time to do that shit. Maybe in a few more days, I would say something about it.
I let about five minutes go by before I finally said something to her.
“You straight?” I asked.
It wasn’t even surprising that she ignored my question. I noticed that her hands were shaking as she filled out the information. Then, a tear had fallen onto the paper. She used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe her face. Eventually, she dropped the pen and started crying.
“I… I… don’t want to do this, Jabariii,” she cried.
It pulled at my heartstrings to hear her cry like that. For about two minutes, I didn’t do shit. I just sat there. The more I sat here, not doing anything, the more her ass sobbed. Everybody in the fuckin’ room was looking at us.
“You don’t gotta do it then! Come on,” I said and took the paperwork from her lap.
I reached out to help her stand up. When I walked over to the receptionist desk, I threw the clipboard on the counter with the paperwork halfway filled out.
“We changed our mind. Thank you,” I said, and just like that, we walked out of the clinic together.
I helped her into the car, but I didn’t get in right away. I went over to the back of the car, pressed against it, and when I was sure, I mean very sure that no one was looking, I shed a tear. Mahogany changing her mind and deciding that she wanted to keep this baby was going to change the rest of my life. I wasn’t scared of shit, but being a daddy scared the fuck out of me. What if I failed him or her? What if I wasn’t good enough, man?
Growing up, I used to always say shit like I wished that Miami’s ole boy was my dad because I loved the fact that his pops was actually there for him. I ain’t ever want my child to have thoughts like that. Mahogany thought that I was just being like every other nigga in the world and trying to get rid of my responsibilities by making her kill our seed, but that wasn’t the case at all. I swear I was scared.
About five minutes later, I heard her open the car door. Her face was still red, but she was no longer crying. She walked over to me, wrapped her arms around my neck, and buried her face in my chest. My hands were on her lower back, and I was holding onto her tight as hell.
“I’m scared too, Jabari. I don’t want to kill our child, though. I’m sorry,” she let me know.
“Don’t apologize for shit. I shouldn’t have even asked you to do some foul shit like that, to begin with. We going to take some parenting classes or something, shorty. I don’t even know where to fuckin’ begin, man,” I let her know.
She lifted her head and looked at me with those pretty ass eyes. Shorty was beautiful. My daughter had to look just like her, down to the freckles on her face, that sandy brown, curly hair, and those beautiful eyes that got her just about anything she wanted from me. I looked at her, and all I could do was shake my head because like I told her when we found out that she was pregnant, her ass had me. I was deep into this shit with her.
“So, you’re not mad?” she asked.
“Nah, bae, I’m good. This just means that I gotta go harder now. Ima always go hard for the ones I love, including your skinny ass,” I joked.
“Nigga, you what? Did you just say you loved me?” she asked and cocked her head to the side.
“You trippin’. A nigga ain’t say all of that. It’s just an expression that I was using,” I casually said, not even able to look her in the eye when I said it.
I would feel vulnerable like a motha fuck if I were to let those three words fly out of my mouth. Although I didn’t necessarily say it, I think we both knew what it was. Mahogany looked at me with a smile on her beautiful ass face.
“Awww, Bari. I love you toooo,” she cooed and leaned up to kiss me.
Only Mahogany could have me out here with her wrapped in my arms, kissing her, and not giving a fuck who was looking at us. I always thought it was lame as fuck to be in love. As a man, I felt like it took away from my dominance or it made me feel like when it came to swag, I just didn’t have it like that anymore. I was wrong, though. Cuffing one broad and keeping her was some shit that should be an aspiration.
This love feeling was good, after all.
Taylor Owens
I felt terrible. Like, so fuckin’ terrible. It was by the grace of God that I hadn’t miscarried this baby. I cried pretty much every day. I cried for Vonte. I cried for hurting his mother. I cried because I was sure she knew the truth now. I wasn’t a bad person. I swear to God I wasn’t. Being in love and wanting Vonte to just take a few minutes away from his hectic ass schedule is what had me looking like the devil, but I swear, I wasn’t.
My grades in school were horrible because I simply couldn’t function whenever I decided to go to school, which was maybe once a week. I had to reach out to Vonte’s mom regarding my baby. I owed her that much. I was actually scared to face her, though. What if she tried to harm my child and me? Maybe I had been watching too many Lifetime movies and overreacting, but still. She had every reason to hate me and to become physical with me.
I was pretty much going through all of this on my own. I couldn’t talk to my mother about it because I didn’t want to tell her what I’d done. I damn sure couldn’t talk to Reggie because then I would have to expose myself and let him know that in the beginning, I was lying and saying that this was Vonte’s baby. Besides, Reggie wasn’t even talking to me. He and I weren’t on the best of terms. Ever since Toddrick embarrassed him that day after we’d left from my doctor’s appointment, he hadn’t really been talking to me. He demanded to know what Toddrick had talked to me about tha
t day, but like a stubborn kid, I wouldn’t say. I guess after that, he called himself dumping me, but these days, I couldn’t care less about Reggie and his damn feelings.
All I cared about was Vonte. I missed him so fuckin’ much. Any other time, I would have been worried sick about what Reggie was doing, especially since he hadn’t been calling or texting just to check up on me, but I swear I was so over it. I needed to get right with myself and come forward with the truth. Of course, I wasn’t stupid enough to tell Vonte’s mom that I was the one who took his gym bag, but I would be woman enough to apologize for lying to her and leading her to believe that I was carrying her grandchild.
Today was the day that I was going to do that. My heart just couldn’t continue to suffer like this. Coming clean was the only way that I would be able to have a healthy pregnancy. Well, in my case, coming clean about part of what I had done.
Here I was, a block away from Vonte’s home, and I was driving at the same pace that a turtle walked. I was scared, so of course, I was stalling. I think it was the love that I had in my heart for Vonte that made me want to fess up to his mother. If I didn’t care so much about Vonte, I honestly couldn’t have cared less about his mother’s feelings. Even in spirit, I wanted him to continue loving me, so if this was what I had to do, then so be it.
I finally made it to the house, and his mother’s car parked in the driveway along with a royal blue Maserati Levante SUV. The music was blasting from the SUV, and I could see the lights on outside the car, which let me know that someone was inside. I assumed that the way I was parked in front of the house after creeping to get to it is what had the driver getting out of the car.
I sucked my teeth when I saw who it was. What was he? Her fuckin’ bodyguard? I couldn’t even get mad because he was so damn fine. Vonte’s mom was so lucky. His attitude sucked, and he was so fuckin’ rude, but aside from all that, this man was beautiful. I watched him as he peered at my car from where he was standing, more than likely trying to see who I was.
Down With the King of the South 2 Page 9
