by D E Dunn
***
The next day, I find myself still clomping my way through the same dense brush. Coming out into a less dense area I sigh and squat down to rest. A feeling of defeat as I see the same clump of trees that I passed three days ago. My head drops, and I feel as though I will never leave these woods. But as I lift my head back up, I notice a faint pathway that wasn't there before. Rushing up to follow it, I find myself in a field. Out of the woods for the first time. The grass dying beneath my feet just beyond the treeline.
'The land of another God.' I think to myself.
Looking back, to my shock, but not quite surprise, the trees so familiar, are gone.
Journal
Loss is a theme I know well. I grew up always feeling the outer emotion of it, even if I didn't ever know why. My mother always emanated a certain aura of distance. Though she embraced me, no one else could ever become close to her.
Every time she spoke to Wil, I know she felt something for him, I think she may have even loved him. You could see in her eyes a certain peace when he was around, but it was soon followed by a stoney glare. One that can only come from a significant loss.
She had a longing to love again, but had so loved my father that when he left her abandoned it created an unbreakable wall so sturdy, I'm not even sure if I ever truly penetrated it. It always felt as though there were two of her, one her true self, and the other a memory hurt and pained.
-Wendy
Part 2
Remnant
I'm still lost, nothing around like what I've seen on their map, but it's soothing here. Though, there is a sadness that permeates the wind. Every time I catch the breeze I feel a heaviness in my heart, as though my world was constantly ending. Loss. Hmm, maybe it's nothing.
This place is strange. Daedan said that there were monsters, and beasts, but it's dead here. I've walked for maybe a week, and not a thing. A lone bird singing a sad tune here and there, but besides that, nothing. I can't believe that it's so still here. Waiting. An atmosphere of being ready for something. But what I don't know.
As I walk, I catch a scent on the wind. Fire!?!? Smoke, like that from a wood stove. I run towards the scent, slowing as it gets stronger. Over a hill, across a large field, a house? A barn? It's wooden, and large. My first instinct is to run towards it, but I calm myself and watch. My hand shakes, it's like I can feel the blood crusted between my fingers again. The head trauma, the gore. I'm not going to be as silly as I was when I was hungry. But I can't let this go. The first thing I've seen in weeks, smoke wafting from a chimney in a place so long forgotten. I need to know, who or what this is.
I drop my pack in the roughage at the edge of the woods so I can move quietly. I move slowly through the field, stopping periodically to observe my surroundings. When I get nearer to the structure I begin to fully comprehend the size. Not only long and tall, but made with heavy thick wood as well. It's certainly no cabin, and more well built than any barn. My heart flutters as I close in, the old wooden windowless walls have an ominous look to them. I slink around the outside along the edge of the tall grasses hoping for a window, but no such luck. There are only doors, most small, but also two large. Like barn doors, but thicker, and open just a bit. I gaze in from afar, but can't see a thing but darkness. I look around before moving in closer. Peering in, the darkness melts away to dim torch light revealing a massive hollow hall. A long chamber lined in doors resembling all of the cliched descriptions of a dungeon.
I make my peace to leave, but the opening calls to me. The purpose of this mysterious thing in a place so lost eats at me. My curiosity drives me forward. I slink carefully through the gap in the massive doors. Looking around inside the huge interior I can only guess what's kept here. Stranger is the volley of heavy doors that look to be made of solid metal. I walk past them, so many, until I round a corner, and find more. The want and wonder take me as I stare at them. Could I open one? What would happen if I did? I find myself walking limply towards one, my hand gliding over the large handle of one of them. Right as my hand grips the cold handle, my hypnosis is broken. I stop as I notice flakes of hay blustering about at the bottom of the door. Not like wind, more like breathing. This was a terrible idea I suddenly realize as my wits return. I compose myself in wonder for a moment before I hear a huge slam, something's coming.
I try for the outside door as fast as I can, but hearing creaking hinges and hard footsteps I know I can't make it. Looking around quickly I dive behind some barrels in an alcove. Steadying myself as a large form rises out of a doorway down the hall. Tall and ominous, wearing a large cloak, and carrying a large bucket. Going door to door, throwing something in, and slamming it quickly. Closer and closer, my horror building as the doors open and slam. The mysteries figure unidentifiable and strange. Right up on me now, I can only hope it doesn't know that I’m here. The large door before me opens with an ear breaking squeal. The things armored hand rises a huge chunk of raw meat from the bucket, and teeth and eyes tear it away before the door slams with a boom. I know no words to describe the thing behind the door. The size of it, whatever it is. Demon, or monster, or something else entirely. I've had enough of this. Bad idea is an understatement.
I have to hold myself still, barely breathing, as the tall form finishes the feeding, hoping to myself constantly that one of those things doesn't get out. Finally, after what seems like forever, I can see the shadow of its form pass back by. Looking over the barrels, I feel relief as it disappears behind the door. I give it a minute before I crawl out from behind the barrels, careful at first I quickly pick up pace. Moving through the doorway to the outside, I sigh to myself as I leave, looking in all directions I begin to run for the tall grass. Turning a corner of the building I stop, suddenly face to face with the thing. A tall shadow with a metal face.
I stand in shock for a moment shaking, while it towers over me supernaturally still. My lips begin to part, to speak, when the cloak rolls off of its shoulder. A huge sword rises with mechanical tick. A mecha?!?! I wonder for a moment, before screaming uncontrollably, falling backward as it leaps at me, moving as a flash of light. I barely have time to duck, feeling the wind of its sword as it cuts the air above me. Without pause it strikes at me again, the tremendous force of the enormous blade nearly blowing me over as it sweeps past me. I dodge, and run without hesitation, unbridled fear fueling my strides. It takes after me, silent for how heavy it must be. I look back and see it slowly getting farther away, it's quiet, but I guess it can't run.
I close in on my supplies when I hear a loud whoosh. I look back to see a glancing flash. A coldness emanates from its sword as it suddenly soars past me, slamming into the earth directly before me. I stop just short of cutting myself in half. Turning to move around the huge blade I can see it from the corner of my eye lunging for me. Its talon like steel fingers outstretched, one of them manages to slice across my face as I fall back. I catch my balance, it doesn't skip a beat. Yanking the sword from the ground it moves swiftly in a blur throwing its cloak up to hide its swing. I can't move out of the way in time. Instinctively I grab my spear from the dirt. My arm rises, I feel the hit vibrate down the shaft with a ghostly clang. My fingers rip open as my spear flies away.
I fall, rolling backward in a daze, my arm still shaking from the force of the hit. Quickly regaining my footing, it comes at me again. I swing my arm around as though I had something. It pauses briefly. Its cold face reading me. Its arm flinches to strike, but it pulls back, bracing itself, and taking the blade up in both hands. In shock I finally hear it, a pounding of the earth and horrible roaring from the woods behind me. I leap blindly, glimpsing at a flurry of fur and claws for only a moment as I fall. Huge and two legged, some kind of monster barely misses me, and thankfully engages it. Looking beyond the monster, more on the way. Enough to keep it busy. I run quickly, recovering my spear and pack before clawing my way up a hill. Reaching the top, I look back briefly, just long enough to see most of the monsters dead, and that thing cleave one of the ma
ssive beasts in two.
Chapter 6
Winter
Season – Beginning of Winter
I saw a leaf fall today. That might not sound significant, but it was the last leaf, on the last tree around. The leaf landed with a thud. A soft, thundering death blow. It's winter. I've successfully ignored the bone chilling wind, but this tiny floating terror has convinced me. I have not a minute to spare, maybe not even a second. If I don't find shelter, I'm going to die.
-Wendy
Part 1
Reflection
A cold wind blows softly through the dead forest, blustering the remnant leaves along the ground as I think and gather wood. I spent the last few days digging out a meager shelter in the side of a hill, and assessing my food. I have enough left for weeks if I go easy, and the hole might keep me warm and dry, but I'm still woefully under prepared for winter. And I can't ignore that I’m still lost.
In the back of my mind, I feel I should have gone back. In the village I actually considered it. Staring into the night, the forest dark, the sounds haunting. I felt like a sailor in the stories, who gazed upon deep water and felt the storm. I wondered. Was I the brave sailor who took to sea despite knowing of my doom? Or was I the coward who walked away, and lived a long and boring life?
But by the village it was too late. I had been through too much to simply turn back. When I got attacked by bandits. That's when I should have gone back. Or after the river when I was starving. Or when I held that dagger in my hand, my anchor. Was I crazy, or cursed to continue? I must be crazy, I mean, I know I am. A trait of myself that I have always admired. Crazy courageous. Blind leaps, and no sense of status or standing to keep me from challenging someone. That was always fine, at home. Out here I’m alone. One underestimate after another. Impatience fueling procrastination and denial. A fair share of bad decisions.
And then there's that thing. When I first saw it, I thought It might be a man. Then I saw the metal limbs and face, and I thought it was a mecha. But when I encountered him, face to face outside, and stared into him, I felt a consciousness stare back. An eerie feeling. A disconnect. As if starring into eyes behind a mask. It might be armor but I definitely heard machine sounds. What is it doing out here anyway? The old priest said the other Gods had no followers. Even scarier than that thing, is whatever it keeps behind those doors. Beyond its teeth, its eyes like a look into the void, had an evil feeling. A hollow as well. Fear and sadness filling it. It's all too strange for me, this kennel master and his monsters.
I can only hope to survive winter, get my bearings, and find the shard in spring.
Journal
I sometimes find myself wondering about this little charm around my neck. A pebble drilled to accept a loop of leather through it. It's a forgettable and unattractive thing, no different from a stone you might find on the road. Thinking of it you wouldn't think anything at all. But when I stare at it, I feel myself mesmerized. Like staring through a hole in a wall at night. A fear and uncertainty pulling at me.
I feel like the charm hinders the powers of the creatures here. I rarely see any beasts, and when I do, they look through me as though I don't even exist. And when the Kennel Master was chasing me he was slower until I got far enough away, and then suddenly he moved much faster than I ever could. It feels like nothing more than a stone on a string, with a few nonsensical carvings, but it's the only thing I can think of to reason my luck and lack of encounters in this vast forgotten world.
-Wendy
Part 2
White
Among the white, a whispered song, a smell so sweet, the air so cold. The fog like soft hands gently cupping your face. Another bleak day.
Everyday the same. I wake from a dream and forage in the snow. My hands shake with chill and my mind wanders. I think of home to stay warm, and those I love to stay alive. Despite the delay, my vigilant work paid off. My shelter was done in time with first snowfall. Piled up logs and sticks with snow to cover the cracks. It's ugly, but it just might work.
Returning in the late day from collecting wood, I walk back through the snow. A great howling pierces the air as I wander. Another thing howls back near me as I throw myself behind an embankment of snow. I can hear crunching in the snow just ahead of me. As I peer over the embankment a white wolfs head rises with mine. It bears its teeth seemingly at me as I raise my spear. We circle each other for a moment before I realize that its teeth are meant for another. The ground begins to shake when out of nowhere something huge leaps over the snowy hill behind me. The wolf begins to run but is taken up in the mouth of the thing. The whelping and snarls silenced with a loud and terrifying crunch. As the giant thing turns its head towards me, the wolfs blood dribbling from its slobbering jaws, I recognize it as one of the monsters kept behind the metal doors.
Its massive and grotesque body like the skin of a flayed hound stretched over the frame of a giant boar. Tall, with dark hairless wrinkled skin, and no neck. Eyes as big as fists, and a large wide mouth that could swallow a man whole. Its growls not only loud, but felt as well.
It drops the mangled wolf corpse to the ground and leaps for me. Shocked, I slash my spear and try to flee at the same time. Its massive paw bats against me and sends me flying. I land hard, the air knocked out of me. Choking and struggling to breathe I try to get up but can only squirm in the snow. It tenses about to leap upon me when a pack of wolves jump it. It fights to tear them off, more annoyed by them than injured. The ground shakes again as more of the hounds join the fray. Their howl ear shattering, drowning out the screams of the dying wolves.
I pull myself up, leaning on my spear, and limp through the icy forest numb to the commotion. Blood pouring from a wound in my gut from the hounds paw. The world darkens as the sunsets. I make it back to my shelter only to find it burning. I can see the Kennel Master, a torch in his hand, the flames mirroring against his metal face. He locks his gaze with mine for a moment. Empty sockets stare deeply into me, with a knowing of both a monster and a man. His body, flesh and steel, covered in leathers and chains. A living myth, a mecha of flesh and blood.
I keep expecting him to move, to come for me, but he just stands there staring through me like I'm dead already.
As the last light retreats from the sky I pull myself together and quickly make for the dark and frozen woods. Briefly looking back, the grey ash filling the sky as the flames of my shelter smolder in melted snow. My last hope burning away as the cold winds of winter chill me to the bone.
Journal
If I died out here, I knew that there would be those who laughed with a crooked smirk, and would say-
“silly girl, what else could she expect”
I knew also, that there would be those who would dim their faces, and mutter-
“the poor girl”
And there I’d be, dead, with some scoffing at my stupidity, and others pitying me for it.
“poor, stupid, girl”
These thoughts filled me with rage, that some would remember me that way. But the one thought that made my heart sink, was that if I died out here, most would not remember, 'me', at all.
-Wendy
Part 3
Blizzard
Wandering in a swirling dream, macabre tone, and grim palette. A world of cold death, intensity, and emptiness. Driving wind among skeleton trees. Eerie and silent. A dead world, full of nothing. The unlucky flash frozen as they were in the night.
The snow is up to my waist, the drudged sky spitting more. I trudge through like fighting the tide of the sea, strained and stumbling. Chilled to the bone, fingers numb, and face skin frozen like a porcelain mask. My delirious mind fading in and out of awareness, fighting against my own body to continue. Marble eyes open wide, staring into the silhouette of death, with each frozen breath. My situation is meaningless though, my insides welling with sadness. I find myself lost to despair, and regret.
I can't stop seeing it. My mother collapsed in the road, sobbing, begging. Helpless and unable to go
on. Watching everything her life meant to her walk away. I don't think I knew just how much I hurt her. I considered the sacrifices that she went through to keep me, and I thought I was doing the same. Breaking her heart to save her life. But now she might already be dead. And things aren't looking good for me. Her last memory of me will be sadness and pain. I was sure I would see her again. I didn't think it would end this way. But Wil did.
