by C. A. Rene
“Not particularly.” I repeat.
He groans so loud and suddenly I see a large golden hand wrap around his collar and drag him off the pillow. I stand up quickly in a defensive stance because of the training ingrained in me.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Vin asks through his teeth, his face all up in Danny’s.
“She’s hot!” Danny shoves him off, “no one else is making a play.”
“Are you both for real?” I demand with my hands on my hips. “I’m not interested in either of you. Move along out of my way.”
I turn my back and sit down, reading over the script again.
“Fuck this.” I hear and then shortly after the slamming of the classroom door.
I look around and see Danny sitting on the couch with his elbows resting on his knees. He perks an eyebrow at me and grins.
“You got him so twisted, baby girl.”
Lisa arrives soon after and I get lost in the methods of acting.
I’m walking to my locker at the end of the day, thinking over Vin’s actions. I can’t get a read on him and I know he’s attracted to me but after this morning I’m pretty sure I’ve turned him off. I shouldn’t be stressing over a guy who’s feeling intimidated by a female but seriously there’s just something I can’t let go of.
I hear the snickering and chuckles as I walk down the hall to my locker. I look around and see a couple groups of people watching me and whispering to each other.
What the fuck?
As I near my locker I see a piece of paper taped to it. On the front is a picture of two mangy looking dogs fucking on the side of the street as people look on with the words ‘project whore’ scribbled on top. I snort, mature. I don’t bother to rip it down because that gives people the reaction they’re looking for. I’ve seen and been through a lot worse than this weak ass attempt at bullying.
I open the door and a strip of condoms fall to the floor, now people are full out laughing. I know the culprit of this little scheme and I notice her pink head is nowhere to be seen. What a ball sack. I’ll have to thank Travis for that, it makes so much more sense.
I pick up the condoms-which have project whore written on them, too-and saunter over to Marlana’s locker. I open the first condom and fling it at the metal, the lubrication really helps with the stick. I hear a few collective gasps and I proceed to fling the other three to stick to her locker as well.
“She’s lucky this project whore is short on time, otherwise I would’ve made sure to use them beforehand.” I say to every nosy ass person watching. Some laugh and others rush away.
“Bunch of ball sacks.” I mutter to myself. I grab my homework, remove the paper on the outside and pin it up on the inside of my locker. I look to the few still standing around.
“I’ll save that for reference for my next client.” I wink, “looks like a good time.”
I slam the locker shut and head outside. That pink headed bitch better not push me too far. I need to prove to my aunt and uncle that I am well behaved. I don’t want them to give me up, but if a bitch needs to be reminded of where her lane is, I will.
Adri is chilling against my car and standing across from it leaning against a gun metal Hummer, is Vin. His arms are crossed and he looks pissed. Yeah, well he can kiss my ass, how dare he look pissed?!
“Looks like he’s been waiting awhile.” Adri snickers as she leans further over my car.
“Probably, he stormed out of last period before it even started.”
“Ember, he’s never been like this for anyone.” She looks over at him, “Maybe you should talk to him?”
“Fuck that, I don’t chase, chica. Let’s fuck off out of here.” I unlock my car and get in.
As I peel out of the parking lot, I chance a look in my rear-view mirror and I see him watching with that scowl on his face.
Chapter Six
After dropping off Adri I feel the need to drive a bit. My mind is a jumble of different thoughts and I can’t concentrate on one from the other. My mind keeps running back to my mother and the many times she would grab my chin and tell me I am who I am, and to never change for anyone. I am my own person no matter where I come from and who surrounds me. I will always hold that close and for that reason I just can’t bend to Vin. I am never going to change for him.
After circling the block a few times, I start to notice a blacked-out sedan following a few cars lengths back. I turn down a few random streets noticing they still aren't far behind. Fuck that, I pull over to the side and throw my hazards on. Whoever the fuck this is, I’m making them come face to face. I step out of the car and wait for them to pull up. But to my surprise they just drive by and unfortunately their windows are tinted so dark I can’t see anything. I have an uneasy feeling in my gut so I make a mental note to talk to Tommy, maybe the gang has a tail on me.
I make my way back home, pulling into the driveway and I spot the gun metal Hummer idling.
“What the fuck?”
I pull up beside him and park my car. We have a stare off for a minute neither of us moving. Finally, he realizes I’m not giving in and gets out. He crosses to my passenger side and gets in the car.
“Hey.” He rasps.
“Hey?” I look at him incredulously, “that’s it?”
“I just got in here.” He raises a brow.
“What do you want?”
“To apologize.” He mumbles. “I fucked up. I was just surprised and maybe a little freaked out. I thought you were going to kill her.”
“Kill her?” I shake my head, “what do I look like? You know what really pisses me off, Vincent?”
He narrows his eyes at me with the mention of his full name.
“You didn’t bat an eye when she slapped me hard enough to draw blood. But I grab her and oh no! She’s going to die?” I chuckle, “why don’t you go check on her if you’re so fucking worried?”
“It all happened so fast! I didn’t have time to react to her slapping you! Then suddenly you have her in some death hold!”
“Say it again,” I grit through my teeth, “accuse me of trying to kill her one more time and I will never breathe in your direction again. Understood?”
My breathing is erratic as I feel the blood surge to my face. I close my eyes and rely on the techniques I learned to control my emotions. I really don’t want to fly off the handle right now and do something I will regret, like a quick throat jab.
Vin is also quiet giving me the time to de-escalate. Suddenly I feel fingers on my cheek as he drags them down to my lips.
“I’m not good for you.”
“Whatever.” My eyes remain closed, but I don’t push him away. His finger is now outlining my lips slowly.
“Doesn’t mean I’m staying away from you.” He groans when my tongue comes out and lightly touches his finger. “I think both of our darknesses can be great together.”
His thumb presses against my bottom lip and then he leaves my car. When I finally open my eyes he’s already at the end of the driveway.
Once I'm inside the house, my emotions are in turmoil. I spot my aunt and uncle curled up on the couch watching some housewives bullshit. My uncle Scott does that for her and it melts my frozen heart.
“Hi baby girl,” my aunt says spotting me in the doorway, “I saw a certain Hummer sitting in our driveway.”
“Yeah.” I answer noncommittally with a shrug.
“Everything okay?” My uncle asks his eyebrows coming together.
“Oh yeah... yeah, nothing to worry about.” I see they both have concern in their eyes and feel my chest swell.
I love them.
“I love you guys.”
My aunt smothers a sob with her hand and stands up. She wraps her arms around me and her shoulders are shaking.
“We love you too, baby girl.”
“You’re ours now, Emberlise.” My uncle says with a nod.
I hug my aunt back quickly and start upstairs to my room. I’m so emotionally tired I just want to
sleep.
The rest of the week goes by without issues. Marlana still mutters bullshit and her little mob of skanks snicker but she mostly keeps her head down and avoids my path. Travis and I have gotten into a comfortable cycle of hallway chats and evening texting. As for Vin, I haven’t seen him the last few days and I haven’t received so much as a text. He’s either away or he’s having lunch off the school grounds and skipping drama. So much for showing me how great we could be.
It’s Friday and today is audition day. I have picked apart Lance’s brain the past few days about Claire and what he envisioned her to be when he wrote this script. He’s been my pillow partner every drama class and I can see the excitement gathering in his eyes more and more each day we converse. He really believes I’m his Claire.
Danny has been his annoying self, following me everywhere and constantly hanging around me. He peppers me with questions and most I don’t even absorb. The good ole smile and nod has been working wonders. I have wanted to ask him where Vin was these last few days a hundred times but held it in. Fuck him, ugh… I still really wanted to fuck him.
“Earth to Ember!” Adri screeches me out of my daydreaming about fucking Vin. “Answer my fucking question, Space Cadet!”
I smile at her showcasing all my teeth, I love this bitch.
“Don’t know what you said, ho.”
“Fucksakes, I asked if we were hitting up the party tonight!”
“What party?” I ask with a quirk of my brow.
“You haven’t heard? What? You live under a rock or something?” She throws her hands in the air. “Danny’s party!”
“Nah, I’m good.” I shake my head. He could’ve asked me about his party this week, probably one of the questions I smiled and nodded at.
Jacob and Jordan start laughing while Adri shoots daggers at me.
“Vin will probably be there.” She thinks this is enticing. I mean it is but I’m a tough bitch I can’t let it show I’m pining for the asshole.
“I’m super good.” I reply.
“Cool I’ll bring my stuff by your place to get ready. Be super good for nine.” She grabs her tray and leaves the table then I watch as she leaves the cafeteria.
“And she says I’m the space cadet.” I say with a shake of my head.
“You both need to fuck those brothers and get it out of your system.” Cara deadpans.
I choke on my chocolate milk and sputter. Jake and Jordan are now laughing so loud we are catching the attention of everyone in the cafe.
“Cara with the zingers!” Jake yells.
I wipe my mouth of dribbling milk and smile at Cara. “I’ll borrow some condoms from Pepto, she seems to have enough to go around.”
“Thank God, otherwise a few dudes in this school would have penis rot, including Vin.” She replies.
We all go another round of laughter as the bell rings. I dump my tray and head off to English lit. This time I sit beside Travis and convince him to come to the party. I get a few grunts and groans until I mention Adri is going. He perks up and says he ‘may make an appearance.’ He also says he had a weird couple of days and he’d tell me about it later. I’m a little intrigued but decide not to push him for info if he’s not comfortable talking about it here.
Drama again is a no show for Vin. I guess he isn’t going to be auditioning after school either. Which everyone is surprised about since he’d been in every school play for the last three years.
The rotunda is packed with students when I get there. I have yet to see the theatre, our classroom has been on the opposite side of the hall and I haven’t ventured through the double doors to check it out.
I sit down on the couch nearest to the door and try to listen in on a few conversations. I catch the tail end of one that really interests me.
“Last year when we did Snow White together and he was the huntsman, I could just feel the sexual tension, couldn’t you?”
A few murmurs reply. I look around and my eyes settle on the busty blond that was talking to Vin in the café that day. Instantly my blood starts to boil. Fuck this skanky ho, I am done listening. They probably did have fucking chemistry I saw it for myself and how he smiled at her.
Lisa graces us with her presence with Lance on her arm.
“Thank you everyone for coming to try out, it’s really amazing how you all want to be a part of something different. As you all know we are doing an original piece this year and Lance is the script writer. I am sticking to his vision of everything and therefore having him on the judging panel with me.” A few people gasp and I also hear a few groans.
This is perfect because all week Lance has been telling me I’m his Claire. A slow smile works over my face, I got this. I can honestly say I’m never nervous before an audition, I always enter this place of calm. The stage is my second home and a place where my mother lived to see me act, so I will channel her love today.
“Let’s file out and head into the theatre. Take a seat in the first two rows in front and we will call you up.” She smiles and continues, “good luck and everyone is called up randomly.”
She leaves the room and we all follow single file. When I walk through those double doors the sight of the theatre takes my breath. It’s beautiful. The area is sunken with the stage bottom center, six aisles of stairs and five sections of seating. The seats themselves are dark red and cushioned velvet. The stage consists of a dark wood and rounded at the front. It’s depth is large looking to go in about fifty feet. The front curtain is made from the same rich red velvet as the seats.
I make my way down to the first row and sit next to Danny. He’s not auditioning for a part because he loves doing stage effects and lighting.
“Nervous?” He asks me with a bump to my shoulder.
“Nope.” I pop the ‘p’. “Just want to get up there already.”
He nods and shoots me a smile. For once the fucker knows when to be quiet, thank God. For this audition we were told we could use any part of the script. I decided to use when Miguel breaks up with Claire at the end of summer. He doesn’t want his friends knowing he was ever dating her because she was considered the nerd. She’s completely heart broken and becomes a little unhinged. I can’t wait to portray the amount of angst needed for this scene. I have enough of it buried I can set free.
“Britney Barnes. You’re up first.” Lisa calls out.
The busty blonde makes her way to the stage. So, her name is Britney… still skank to me. As she starts her monologue-she picks the part where Claire decides she’s giving Miguel her virginity-I see why she had the most leads for school plays. She’s actually good. Although I would never admit that out loud.
We go through I don’t know how many auditions because I have completely zoned out. I have immersed myself into Claire.
“Ember Craven. You’re up.” Lisa calls out. I blow out a breath and stand.
“Hey, break a leg, boo.” Danny whispers.
I climb the stairs to the stage and a wave of calm comes over me.
I’m home.
I walk to the center and look out at everyone.
“I will be auditioning for Claire, doing the bedroom scene after Miguel has broken up with her and she is alone.”
Lance and I had discussed this in detail this whole week. He believed this was the best scene to do because it was Claire’s mental break down and a solo scene. There would be no other actor on stage. So, it would be up to me to capture the audience’s attention. The only other scene that is just as emotionally testing is the final one but that involves having a Miguel character to really showcase it.
I do my scene which entails a lot of screaming, ugly crying, and hair ripping. When the four and a half minutes of gut-wrenching pain is over, I calmly stand up, thank everyone and make my way off the stage and back to my seat.
Everyone is quiet, and as I sit down Danny gives me a quick one-armed hug.
“Fucking amazing, Ember.” He whispers.
“Ahem,” Lisa clears her throat, “we
ll okay then, we have one final audition today.”
Good I’m ready to get out of here and shake off Claire’s lingering sorrow. It mirrors my own too much.
“Vincent! You’re up.” Lisa bellows.
Wait… what? He’s here? I hear a few excited murmurs and gasps collectively through the front rows. People start to turn their heads looking behind them for the beautiful man that’s held my mind captive all week. I turn as well and see him making his way down the stairs. He must’ve been sitting in the back row.
He keeps his eyes on the stairs and doesn’t spare me a look as he makes his way onto the stage.
“I went through this script multiple times looking for the best solo Miguel scene I could find.” His voice rasps out. I’ve missed the rough sound and hearing it now makes me shiver in my seat.
“Yeah, he has many,” he continues, “but there was one scene I just kept coming back to. The last scene, but to do it justice I would need a Claire character.”
Everyone gasps and we all look to Lisa.
“Well, it’s never been done and you take the risk of people’s attention being drawn to the other character.” She shrugs, “but I’ll allow it.”
I watch as Britney starts towards the stage stairs. Makes sense, they’ve acted with each other numerous times.
“Ember, would you help me out and be Claire?” He asks.
I look at him with confusion and then look to Britney who is halfway up the stairs.
“Please?” He looks at me imploringly.
I stand up slowly and watch Britney opening and closing her mouth.
“I thought… since we’ve acted together before…” she starts. People start snickering.
“Thank you, Britney, you’re a great actor but I already had someone else in mind.” He stares at her.
I make my way to the stage as Britney’s shoulders by me.
“Bitch...” She mutters under her breath.
Great, another one.
I walk up the stairs and come to stand directly in front of him.
“You know this scene?” He asks quietly. His scent washing over me, I didn’t realize how much I missed it.
