“That must be a relief,” she said, “Having your family closer.” She wasn’t really giving anything away, but yet, I definitely got the feeling she knew more than she was letting on. Maybe that’s why it had been so easy for Robert to come and work here.
“Yes,” I said.
She pushed back in her chair and stood up.
“Did you have a good holiday, ma’am?” I asked as casually as I could.
She nodded and even gave me a smile. “I did, thank you. I took a much-needed vacation, as you can probably tell,” she said, pointing at her bronzed face.
“And...uh...how is...” I stumbled and blushed, realizing asking about Brady was probably the worst thing I could do right now. Still, I was unable to help myself.
“Yes?” she asked, her eyebrows arched, making me work for it.
“Uh, is Coach Fleming doing better? I mean...” Crap. I should have just kept my mouth shut.
“He’s not back to training yet, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said with one of her very intense looks that made me want to curl up in the fetal position. “That is what you’re asking, isn’t it?”
“Of course,” I gurgled.
“You’ll be happy to know that we’ve secured a replacement and practices start up again tomorrow morning.” She nodded toward my computer. “You should have an e-mail from the replacement coach, if not by now then later this morning.”
“That’s great,” I said, hopefully hiding my disappointment. “I’m excited to get back to training.”
The dean nodded, pushing the empty chair in under the table. “The Derby’s in just a few weeks.”
Right. The Derby. The competition that I wasn’t good enough to be in before I left at Thanksgiving. “I’ll be working my hardest to catch up,” I promised.
She gave me a curt nod. “I know you will,” she said and then placed her hand on my shoulder. “Welcome back, Ms. Prescott. We’re very glad to have you,” she said, and then was gone, the imprint of her hand quickly going cold.
Is it weird that I wondered exactly who she meant when she’d said ‘we’?
~ ♥ ~
I’d purged all my e-mail before I left for London and had actually expected that they would have shut down my Rosewood account, so I was surprised when I opened it up and messages started downloading. Lots of messages. Lots and lots of messages.
Most of them were school announcements, which I bulk deleted except for the most recent ones that had come in over the holiday break and might be relevant. Then I skimmed through the ones from my friends: funny Christmas messages (including one from Chelly of her in the most revealing Santa costume ever made, which thankfully only went out to her girlfriends), check-ins over the holidays, pictures of gifts received etc. It made me a little sad that I hadn’t been able to participate, but I was still thankful to have them now. I saved them to read later when I was a bit more coherent.
Then, I saw one from Brady. My heart kicked around in my chest as I clicked on it to open.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Merry Christmas
Message: Brooklyn, I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and hope you have a great time in London with your family. I’m going away for the holidays, which I’ll be spending with my father in Sacramento. I miss our training and would like to see you before I leave tomorrow at three.
Brady
Great time in London with my family...see you before I leave? I looked at the date on the e-mail, which was just a few days before Christmas break, confirming he must not have known. How was it possible that he hadn’t heard the story about my father? Although, I guess with his injury and exams, he wouldn’t have been around Rosewood much to notice my absence.
I cursed, wondering what he must have thought when I didn’t get back to him. Although, surely he would have tracked down one of the girls and found out what had happened before he left. Worst case scenario, he asked his mother, though I was fairly sure he’d avoid that and get Emmie or Kaylee to fill him in. He didn’t think I’d just blown him off, right? He knew me better than that; even when it had practically killed me to be around him, I’d never blow him off intentionally.
Then I began to wonder what his holidays had been like. Obviously the dean had gone on her vacation without him, which seemed a bit weird to me, though I wasn’t a child of divorce. Not that Brady and I had had any long conversations about our respective families, but he’d never mentioned his father. That made me question why he might have spent the holidays with him and away from Rosewood, and more notably, Albatross.
Because he’s not training, occurred to me. He’d probably decided he needed a break from everything he couldn’t do. Probably a good idea, I thought, knowing that being around the horses while not being in training would have been difficult for him.
I hit reply on the message and stared at the screen for a long time, not sure what to say, but figuring I at least owed him an apology for disappearing.
Halfway through, I got up and refilled my coffee, waving at one of the kitchen helpers who was bringing out some fresh muffins. As an afterthought, I backtracked and grabbed one before returning to the table to finish up the message.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: Merry Christmas
Message: Hi! I’m so sorry I didn’t get this message until right now. I’m sure by now you found out what happened with me, but I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to let you know when I had to leave. I hope you had a great Christmas and New Year’s and that your foot is all better. Looking forward to getting back to training soon!
Brooklyn
I read it over approximately forty-five times before hitting send. I still wasn’t a hundred percent happy with it, but I had to send him something and while it felt a bit distant, we were supposed to just be friends. I had been the one to tell him to back off. I had been the one to say I couldn’t keep doing the push-pull thing with him anymore, so I had to keep it as just friends.
But now that I was back, it seemed all I wanted to do was to see him. And the guy I was supposed to want to be with—Dave—was almost the last thing on my mind. I hadn’t even told him I was back yet.
I told myself I needed some time to figure things out before I could contact Dave. But deep down, if I’d forced myself to face it, I would have known that I was just stalling the inevitable. I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want to do to him what Emmie had done and what I had already done to Jared. Even if it was for the best in the end, I didn’t want to have to face that.
But the worst part of all of this was knowing I couldn’t be with Brady. Though the whole absence/heart/fonder thing was obviously in play, it didn’t change the logistics of things between us. I mean, I’d wanted him before I’d left and couldn’t have him, so how could wanting him more change things to make us able to be together? Simple answer: it didn’t. As long as I was here as a student and he had his Olympic dreams, we were not going to be a couple.
I realized that, ironically, I probably would have had a better chance with him if I’d stayed in London; at least then he wouldn’t have been my coach anymore. The long distance thing would have sucked, but maybe we could have made it work somehow. Whatever, it was all a moot point because I was back and he would be my coach again soon.
I glanced up at the wall and was surprised to see how much time had passed with me dithering around, writing that simple e-mail. Not late enough to have to get to class, but at least I could go up and get ready for school and still have some time to go over to the stables to say hi to Charlie.
And of course, a little part of me hoped that even though he wasn’t coaching, maybe Brady would be there anyway. More than a little part, I admitted to myself.
~ ♥ ~
“Can I help you?”
I looked up from Charlie’s flank to
see a woman standing in the aisle of the barn outside Charlie’s stall. She looked at me like I was some sort of burglar and not a student stealing a few minutes with the horse she hadn’t seen in over six weeks.
“Oh hi,” I said, walking toward the closed half-stall door, reaching my hand over it toward her. “I’m Brooklyn Prescott. I’m on the dressage team. I’ve been away for a while and just wanted to say hi to Charlie.”
She stared at me for a moment longer and then took my hand and shook it firmly. “You really shouldn’t be in the stalls with no one around.”
“Jerry let me in,” I said, pointing toward the office where the stable hand was probably sitting and drinking his coffee while playing solitaire. “I wasn’t going to take him out or anything,” I assured her. “It’s just been a long time since I was in the barn and I missed it.” I don’t know why my throat decided to close up at that statement, but I mentally told myself to get it together.
“It’s okay,” she said, shaking her head and giving me a sudden smile. “I forget things are different here. I’m Jeanette Louis. I’m filling in for Coach Fleming while he’s off with his injury. I own a barn on the other side of town and I’m pretty strict there, but I’m used to working with younger kids who are a bit more rambunctious.”
As soon as she said her name, I remembered her as the lady who owned the stables where Brady kept Albatross and did his own training. I was about to say as much, but then remembered how he had basically smuggled me off campus that day to meet his horse and drawing attention to that fact probably wasn’t a great idea.
“Are you teaching the team, too or just regular classes?”
“I’ll be doing it all for now. Dressage starts up again tomorrow morning. You a jumper, too?”
“No,” I said. “Just dressage. Though I should tell you I’m not very good. The dean keeps talking about me competing at the upcoming Derby, but I’m not sure...”
Jeanette smiled at me kindly. “Don’t you worry. You’ve obviously never been to the Derby if you’re worried about not being good enough. Though I was looking at the roster and I think I’m short on jumpers. Any chance I can convince you?”
I shook my head. “I’ve actually been off school since Thanksgiving for a family emergency. As it is, I’m going to be spread pretty thin just trying to catch up.”
Jeanette nodded. “Okay, well keep it in mind.”
Charlie chose that moment to come up and start nudging my back, looking for attention. I half-turned and rubbed his nose.
“He likes you,” she said.
“He’s a shameless flirt,” I said, laughing when the horse started lipping the shoulder of my blazer. I pulled away, not wanting to have to change before class and not liking the idea of having horse slobber on me all day.
“So I see,” Jeanette agreed. “Naughty boy,” she cooed, reaching in to rub his face.
“I should get going to class,” I said, glancing at the clock. Jeanette moved aside so I could open the stall door. “So, uh, when do you think Coach Fleming will be back?” I asked casually.
Jeanette looked at me with raised eyebrows.
“Not that I don’t think you’ll do a great job,” I said quickly, hoping I hadn’t offended her. “I haven’t seen him since Thanksgiving and just wanted to make sure he’s okay. But never mind, maybe I’ll see him on campus.”
I latched the door closed behind me and turned toward her, but she was looking at me funny.
“What?” I asked, pulling my blazer away from my body to see if there was any drool from Charlie, but I looked clean. “Did he get something on me?”
“No,” she said, glancing at my shoulder. “You’re fine. But, Brady...Coach Fleming isn’t on campus.”
My stomach turned over at that. “Huh?”
“He went to California for Christmas and hasn’t come back yet.”
It suddenly felt like all the blood drained out of my head, leaving me a little dizzy. “What? Really? What about his training?”
“He can’t train with his foot. I think he was scheduled to get his cast off, but he won’t be able to ride for months.” She cocked her head and frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I said, realizing she must have thought I was a lunatic or maybe some love-sick teenager, which I guess I was. But I couldn’t help it; all I could think about was Brady and what he must be going through. “I’m fine, I just had no idea. Do you know when he’s coming back?”
She lifted her eyebrows and I could tell she was thinking that it was none of my business. But she said, “I don’t know. I’m here indefinitely with an open contract, so I suppose there’s a possibility he’s not coming back.”
My lungs froze on my breath and tears pricked at my eyes. I stared at her for a moment until I realized I needed to get away from her, the stables, everywhere. I mumbled a “See you tomorrow,” and practically ran out of the stables.
I was about to go into the school, but there were a bunch of girls standing by the doors and the last thing I wanted was to have to talk to people right now, so I ducked around the back of the main building to go in through the back doors.
I got about five yards before I began to lose it. Really lose it. Brady was gone and maybe not coming back? How could that be? Was that what the e-mail had been about? Did he want to see me one last time before he left for good?
And what about school? He was still a student at Westwood, wasn’t he? Although if he didn’t have his training job here, maybe he couldn’t afford to go there anymore. He had told me he needed his job here on campus, so without that...
“Oh God,” I said out loud. I looked up at the school, but couldn’t bring myself to go inside. It was cold out but I didn’t have a coat; my blazer had been enough to run from the school to the stables and back, but now...
I thought about going to the library, but that just meant more people. Then my eyes landed on the shed, the one Robert had shown me led to the secret bunker. Not that I would go down there, but having a shed to myself so I could fall apart in peace sounded like a good idea.
Making sure I wasn’t being followed or watched, I flipped the lever on the front and then went around the back, found the right knothole and then quickly tucked myself inside. I left the door open a crack, but it was really dark and kind of freaked me out, so I closed the door to make the light go on. The door automatically locked, which made me feel slightly claustrophobic, but Robert had assured me I would be able to get out.
I looked around but there was nowhere to sit, so I went over to the staircase and sat on the top stair, looking down at the big door at the bottom as I finally let the tears go.
Because Brady was gone.
Even though I knew we couldn’t be together, it had never occurred to me that he might not be here when I returned from London. And knowing he would be here was what had me wanting to come back so badly. Looking back, I realized even though it was so hard keeping distance from him, our lessons—especially those private ones—were what I looked forward to most and of course, the riding was only part of it. It was him. Of course it was him.
I hugged my folded legs into my chest and rested my cheek on my knee, suddenly feeling like I didn’t even want to be on the equestrian team anymore. It was stupid and juvenile to want to quit just because Brady wasn’t going to be my coach anymore, and I knew I wouldn’t allow myself to be that girl, but at the moment, I just wanted to chuck it all.
“Is someone there?”
My head snapped up and I looked down the sixty-odd stairs, not believing my eyes. “Brady?” I whispered, sure my brain had conjured up a mirage.
Not Quite Doomsday
But no, not a mirage: there he was in a plain black t-shirt and jeans, looking up at me.
I stood up and started down the stairs, my heart thudding so hard in my chest, it felt like it was going to bust out through my ribcage. I wanted to run down the stairs, but a little bit of my rational brain said now was not a good time for a spectacular fall down concrete
steps, so I took each one carefully. Anyway, I needed a few moments to process him being there.
It still wasn’t enough. I got to the bottom and there he was, frowning at me. “Brooklyn?”
I nodded. I took in his face, his dark hair and amber eyes that were familiar, but he hadn’t shaved in I don’t know how long, his jaw covered in sexy scruff. He looked rumpled and amazing. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh my God,” he said, his eyes growing suddenly wide. “That was...” he looked into my eyes, emotions running over his face that I couldn’t recognize.
“What?” I asked. I had to cross my arms to keep my hands to myself because I was suddenly desperate to throw my arms around him, touch him, kiss him. I was sure it was in my eyes, too. I looked away, not wanting him to read my thoughts.
He seemed to change gears. “Why are you here?”
“I came back. I’m back at the school now. Did you get my e-mail?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m not...I’ve been...” he waved his hand behind himself at the big vault door to the bunker.
“Hiding out like one of those doomsday preppers?”
He raked his fingers through his hair and snorted. “Something like that.”
“I’m so sorry for leaving without a word.”
“I heard about your father,” he said. “I hope he’s okay.”
“He is, thanks,” I said, not ready to explain the rest yet.
“But what I meant is why are you here,” he said and I realized he meant in the bunker.
“I...I just needed some time to myself.”
His eyes softened as he searched my face. “Are you okay?”
How was I supposed to answer that? Well, I wasn’t okay, because I thought I’d maybe never see you again, but now you’re here, so I’m feeling better, although you seem to be living off the grid and I have no idea what that means.
“Yeah,” I said. “I just felt a bit overwhelmed and I’m severely jet-lagged and sleep deprived.”
Making Ripples Page 15
