“I am sure, My Lord,” I replied, bending my head a little, “because I have the wit, cunning, trickery, and strength of Hunahpu and Xbalanque.”
Hun-Came and Vucub-Came jumped to their feet, angrily. Ten of the sitting figures gasped and fidgeted, momentarily, the other ten remaining motionless. I, immediately, realized that the ten that did not move were the mannequins and those that had moved were the ten Demon Lords of Xibalba. I cemented the image in my brain as I reflected on what the Hero Twins told me. All I would need to do was to identify each Demon Lord as their name was called. Yet, that would not be an easy task for the Hero Twins had told me only the Demon Lords’ names and no identifying characteristics. I began to prepare my mind for concentration, but it was difficult with the noises from the crowd and the fact that an annoying small fly, a chan-koxol, was buzzing my left ear almost continuously.
Hun-Came smiled slowly and sat, immediately followed by Vucub-Came, who still looked very angry. Hun-Came looked towards his brother and nodded.
“And what did you say your name was?” asked Vucub-Came.
“My name is Fuck, My Lord,” I answered. The buzzing stopped.
“Strange name.”
“And to make the trials more enjoyable to you and more humiliating to me should I lose any of them, may it be agreed, My Lord, that for every trial that I win, one of my Warriors be released to me.”
The Death Gods consulted then looked down at me with uncertainty then shallow amusement. Vucub-Came spoke. “The great and powerful Hun-Came, the most powerful of the Death Gods, Ruler of Xibalba, grants you your wish should you proceed to the trail houses.” The noise of the crowd increased again and Vucub-Came held up his hand. “If you fail, however, the Warrior that would have been released to you will suffer many gruesome deaths and you will stand beside him. You will hear and live his screams and wails of terror and pain. You will hear him beg for a final death with each death he endures, over and over again, until the Great and Mighty Hun-Came decides it is over. Do you accept?”
I hesitated, wondering what my men would want. “I accept.” The buzzing started again.
“For the trials, you will be known simply as Waach.”349
“Thank you, My Lord.”
I was becoming anxious. I knew it would soon be time for me to identify the Lords and I didn’t know what the fok to do. I looked towards where I had seen the two young nobles in the crowd on the benches. They were still there and they were looking directly at me. They nodded and the buzzing in my ear started again as the chan-koxol flew around my earlobe. The buzzing stopped and the two young nobles turned their heads away from me and looked towards the Demon Lords, all twenty of them seated absolutely still and in the same position, with the same attire, all looking alike, both those that were alive and the dummies that were not. The Chamber of the Council Place of the Lords was absolutely quiet.
“You survived the Nim-ja’ Ti’ Síina’ans, crossed the Nim-ja’ Ti’ K’i’ik and the Nim-ja’ Ti’ Puh, successfully solved the trials at the krus-be of the sacbeobs or you would not have been able to enter Xibalba in order to make the request that you wish to leave this majestic city and the Underworld. Waach, you will now face the first trial of the Council Place of the Lords. You will identify each Lord as I call out his name,” instructed Vucub-Came. “You will step from your pedestal, bow before the Lord you have chosen, then return to your place beside the Chief Guard.”
“Yes, My Lord.” I did not know what Hunahpu and Xbalanque had in mind, but they were still there. They had said that they couldn’t help, but they had gone against that already. I stared at the Demon Lords and I began sweating on my forehead, under my armpits, and around my balls. I was in fokin trouble. At least, the chan-koxol was no longer in my ear. Chan-koxol! I frowned, thinking, trying to remember what it was about the chan-koxol that Xbalanque had said. Then I remembered: “We sent a chan-koxol ahead of us to bite the Lords and uncover which were real and which were simply mannequins, as well as to discover their identities.” I sighed with relief, hoping that it was not a premature comfort. The chan-koxol was there to help me.
“Lord Cuchumaquic,” shouted Vucub-Came. I felt Kish looking at me.
I continued staring at the Lords that had moved when I had spoken of the Hero Twins. Suddenly, one blinked his eyes as if a fly had landed there. I wanted to shout with joy and laugh, but forced back mirth as I approached him. I bowed very low saying, “Lord Cuchumaquic, Gatherer of Blood, I acknowledge you.” I felt the Death Gods eyes burning into me as I turned and went back to where I was standing. A low murmur was evident in the crowd. I was not being humiliated. The Death Gods were. I wasn’t sure if that were good for me.
“Lord Ahaltocob.”
I stared at the Lords again and once more came the blink. I walked up to the Lord. “Lord Ahaltocob, Bringer of Death by Stabbing, I acknowledge you.” I walked back to my position. The murmurs from the crowd were getting louder and the faces of the Death Gods angrier at their humiliation. I was getting very worried as I did not think Hunahpu, Xbalanque, and I could keep up the ruse for much longer. The Death Lords would definitely catch on that a lowly chan-koxol was destroying their trials. I wanted to look towards the two young nobles, but I refrained, not wanting to bring the Death Lords attention to them. Then came the trickery.
“Lord Chamiaholom. Lord Ahalgana.”
Vucub-Came had given me two names. I didn’t know what the fok I was going to do, or how Hunahpu and Xbalanque were going to get me out of that one?
I stared intently at the Lords, trying to appear calm and in deep concentration, not showing any of my absolute fright and the fact that I was about to shit myself. I knew that challengers lost the trials because of the Lords trickery and deceit; that was what was happening to me. There were two Demon Lords involved in this trial. Would there be two chan-koxols? What would I do if they blinked together and even if they didn’t, how would I know who was who?
I continued to stare. I heard Kish breath in deeply. I focused, covering all the Lords, not moving my eyes, not wanting to appear as if I were searching for something. There was a blink on the far right. I continued staring. There was a blink in the middle.
The blinks were at different times, but, of course, I didn’t know who was Lord Chamiaholom, who was Lord Ahalgana. In all the stories the Hero Twins told me, they always stressed that I must use wit and cunning. They also stressed that the Xibalbans were deceitful and used trickery in everything they did, and they had subtly advised me that it was only through the blinking that they could communicate. I decided I would think like a Xibalban, so with great trepidation I walked up to First Blink, bowed, and said the name Vucub-Came had said second. “Lord Ahalgana, Maker of Jaundiced and Swollen Bodies, I acknowledge you.” I then went to Second Blink and said the name Vucub-Came had said first, “Lord Chamiaholom, Changer of the Bodies of the Dead into Skeletons, I salute you.”
The crowd was very loud and the Death Lords were on their feet, anger and humiliation on their faces. Hun-Came raised his hand and the crowd immediately fell silent. He stared at me then spoke.
“You have been victorious in this first trial, Waach. The Trial of the Naming is over. We will pursue this trial no further. We will now proceed with the Trials of the Houses. Are you ready to proceed, Waach?”
“I am, My Lord,” I answered, bowing. The crowd was becoming noisy again, but there was no jeering.
Hun-Came sat and nodded to Vucub-Came who then addressed me. “You will be taken to Ee’hoch’e’en Ja, the house of darkness of the black god Can-Tzicnal of the West. If you can travel through Ee’hoch’e’en Ja and survive, you will have won the second trial of the Council Place of the Lords. You will then be sent to the next, if you wish to continue. If you do not wish to continue, just say so and remain among us in Xibalba without the trauma and pains of the trials and a certain painful death. And there will be pain, Waach. There will be pain.” Vucub-Came smiled.
“I will go to Ee’hoch’e’en Ja. I will survive and I will continue the trials.”
“Oh good! We will have some real entertainment.” He clapped his hands. Chief Guard of the Council Place of the Lords. You will guard Waach through the trials and will escort Waach to Ee’hoch’e’en Ja just before Kinich Ahau leaves the Underworld. And now, Xibalbans,” he opened his arms, “You may place your bets, at this time, if you wish.” Loud noise returned to the chamber and many of the Xibalbans began leaving their seats, moving hurriedly into nearby rooms where the other doors led.
I felt Kish’s presence behind me. “Turn around, Waach,” he said.
I turned around and stared into his eyes. He gave no recognition of me, and I none of him. “I am T’oit’ik-jolom,” I stated.
“Here in Xibalba you are Waach.” He clapped his hands and four young women, each carrying a basket, came towards us then stood by me.
“You are being cleaned and dressed as you are forthwith recognized as an adversary of the trials,” Kish informed me.” The women worked at a rapid pace. They took off my loincloth then tried to remove Bas’ Green Scapular, my machete, knife, and their scabbards, but I stopped them. I expected that the Death Gods would insist I take them off, but there was no comment from them. The women rubbed me down with fragrant oils, put a short skirt like loincloth which was just a flap in front and in back, a broad cloth collar that covered most of my chest, an arm band on each arm, an ankle bracelet on my right foot, and lej-xajäbs. Everything was black or grey. My mind flashed back to the preparations for the ball-game at Ox Witz Ha when Choj, Bo, and I played Pitz against the Köj Team. I remembered the emotionless eyes of our opponents, Tlacelel,350 Uetzcayotl,351 and Tepiltzin352 when they lost the game. K’an II had sent them to battle rather than to be sacrificed and I wondered if they had survived the battle at Ox Witz Ha.
“Stand with me at the back of the Chamber of the Lords,” instructed Kish and we moved to just in front of the two statues of the Death Lords. The crowd that had left to place their bets was once again taking their seats.
Two slaves entered from each of three doors on either side of the chamber, one male and one female, their naked skins painted with grey and black glyphs I didn’t know the meaning of. They each wore an adorned headdress of gleaming obsidian with grey and black feathers. The six surrounded the arc and started rolling the tapestry towards the dais. When finished, they lifted it off the low semicircular wall and placed it on the ground. There was a large opening with a stair leading down.
A man, elegantly dressed, most likely a priest, came from the arched doorway on my right. Keeping his head bowed, he walked in front of the Demon Lords then stood in front of the Death Gods Hun-Came and Vucub-Came. He genuflected very deeply then turned to face Kish and me. “Approach the entrance to the Cavern of Trials, Waach.”
“Let’s go,” ordered Kish.
We walked together to the foremost edge of the crescent. There was a wide stairway leading downwards to the opening of a cave or tunnel.
The flames from two torches reflected off many sparkling stones, lighting up the entrance brightly, but beyond that there was only darkness.
The priest spoke once more. “Waach!” I bowed slightly. “Each day, you will enter another House of Trials should you have survived the preceding one. Normally, you would play Pitz after each House of Trials once you have persevered. The Great Death Lords of Xibalba have decided to forgo the ballgame until the very end, should you have walked out of each House of Trials, each morning.” The crowd sniggered and laughed. “Each morning, once Kinich Ahau has arrived in Xibalba, you will be brought up here from below to be presented to the Lords of Xibalba. The next House of Trials will be assigned and the Chief Guard of the Council Place of the Lords will take you to your room to await the departure of Kinich Ahau. You will rest and heal your wounds then be prepared for your next trial. In the evening, before the arrival of Kinich Ahau, you will be taken to the assigned House of Trials by the Chief Guard. You will be guarded by the Chief Guard of the Council Place of the Lords and his Guards when you are not in a House of Trials. You will now be taken below to your room. You have already been dressed for your trial today so as soon as the Mighty Kinich Ahau leaves this realm, the Chief Guard of the Council Place of the Lords will escort you to your first House of Trials.” He turned and bowed to the Death Gods.
Vucub-Came stood. “Waach!”
“Yes, My Lord.”
“The first House of Trials is Ee’hoch’e’en Ja.
Dark House.
“You will be given one unlit torch and two lighted rolls of me’t. When you are released in the morning, they must be just as you were given them.”
“My Lord,” I said. “But if the rolls of me’t are already lit, they will burn away during the night. And the torch, should I light it, it will also burn away during the night.”
“This is a trial, Waach.” He sat and nodded his head.
“Say no more and let’s go down,” ordered Kish. I hesitated, momentarily, but then walked to the stairs and descended into the uncanny crypt and to my quarters.
The room, lit by a torch, was larger than the one Molly and I had shared at Ox Witz Ha. It was interesting to see that a small tunnel was in the ceiling, just above the torch, drawing out the smoke. There were two sleeping mats, one for Kish and one for me, and a pot with a lid. The pot was for pissing and shitting as there were pieces of softened bark beside it. There was also a table and two stools. On top the table were a mug with water, two cups, and a plate of maami.353
Kish leaned his long bate’ and to’bal-rib on the back wall then took off all his adornments except for his loincloth and necklaces. He took some maami for himself and handed me the plate. “Eat. You need all the energy you can get.” He then sat cross-legged on his mat and indicated that I do the same.
“Kaloonte’.”
“We are alone. Call me Kish, My Lord.”
“Then call me Chiac,” I responded.”
“I thought your name was Fuck, the great T’oit’ik-jolom.”
I hesitated. “That name was given to me by my people in Ox Witz Ha, but I have another name. It is Eutimio Chiac. Call me either.”
“The Xibalbans do not know you as Chiac. When we speak alone, I will call you Chiac, but as long as you are in Xibalba you’re not Chiac and no longer Fuck. Your name is Waach.”
I nodded, pausing for a moment, then continued. “Do you know what the trials are in Ee’hoch’e’en Ja?”
“I do not know much. Even if I did, I could not tell you for then you would forfeit the trial. I can tell you, however, that not a trace of light penetrates the darkness and you will have to move around dangerous obstacles that can do you great harm.” I remained quiet and, after a short while, Kish spoke again. “Get some rest, Chiac. You will not be able to sleep tonight.”
I took off my belt holding my machete and knife and their scabbards, and my lej-xajäbs. I examined the wrap around skirt and the collar and they seemed innocent enough, no trickery and deceit in them, and as they were comfortable I kept them on. The arm bands and ankle bracelet were decorated with strange glyphs. I removed them and threw them into a corner. I was very suspicious of anything given by the Lords of Xibalba. I curled up, making myself as snug as possible on the mat and soon fell asleep.
I awoke to Kish kicking me and for a moment thought it was Teul or one of the other men of my section. I soon lost that idea. I was on my side so I turned to face Kish. “It’s almost time,” he advised. “Eat something. Piss and shit as you want nothing to distract you once you enter your House of Trials.
I got up, stretched a little to loosen up and went to piss in the jar. I did not feel like doing anything else so I went to the table and had the rest of the maami. I concentrated on eating, not wanting to think about what lay ahead.
Kish walked over and handed me a small headdress saying, “Put on your lej-xajäbs, and your weapons.” You will wear this headdres
s, and do not lose it in the House of Trials or all will be lost.”
“And why is that?”
“I will give you some instructions, but first let me put on the headdress so that it will not fall.”
“I have a question, Kish.”
“Another question, you mean.”
I smiled. “Yes Kish. Two, actually. Why am I allowed to keep my weapons and how do the Death Gods and their Lords monitor what’s happening in the Houses of Trials?”
“You keep your weapons because, even in Xibalba, the traditions of our armies are respected. You are a T’oit’ik-jolom. As you know, even the waach and his weapons are one. If your weapons were taken from you, it would be looked upon by the gods that you were put at an unfair disadvantage. Remember that the Death Gods care only about the final result, that is, your failure to win, not how you failed. To answer your second question, the Ahau Can Mai354 gets reports from guards during your trial. When we leave this room, we go through a tunnel that leads to the Houses of Trials. The houses are part of the tunnel, their sides reaching the roof. The guards have access to them through short narrow underpasses from the outside. You will not see the guards as the passages are dark, but they are aware of you and listen to you through small holes in the ceiling. They are specially trained for this and they know what happens, even if it’s dark. They continuously report to the Ahau Can Mai on your progress, nothing else. Your strategies are your own, but you cannot receive help or you fail.” Kish hesitated then added very quietly, “If you do receive help, they must not be aware of it.” He then continued in a normal voice, “When you are brought up to the Council Place of the Lords in the morning, the Ahau Can Mai makes a report to the Lords of Xibalba and a new House of Trials is assigned. That’s, of course, if you survive.”
“I will survive. I will kill Mahanamatz, rescue my woman, rescue my Warriors.”
“Then listen carefully. As I said, you are not to lose your headdress in Ee’hoch’e’en Ja. It must not be destroyed by the obstacles you will meet.” I was beginning to open my mouth, but he raised his hand, looking at me sternly. I shut up. “Listen, Chiac. This trail can be one of your easiest. It is one that can also kill you and then you will remain with us in Xibalba, forever. You will not take your woman to your mat again. At the door to Ee’hoch’e’en Ja, I will give you an unlit torch and two lighted rolls of me’t. That, you have already been told. You will be tempted to smoke the me’t, as did Hunahpu’s and Xbalanque’s father and uncle, One Hunahpu and Seven Hunahpu. They failed the trial, smoking all night instead of facing the difficulties. The rules state that it is up to you whether you enter the House of Trials with the torch lit or not. However, you will ask me to light the torch and I will comply. That will convince the Lords that you will fail the test as they know that the torch will burn out. When that does not happen, it will cause them great humiliation.”
Sisimito II--Xibalba Page 32
