the STRUGGLE

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  “We’ll get back to you as soon as we can.” Timothy ushered Hannah out the door and into Allen’s truck, where he’d been waiting for them.

  “That didn’t take too long,” Allen said. “So, what’d you think of the house?”

  Timothy glanced at Hannah, but she didn’t say a word—just sat with her hands folded in her lap, looking straight ahead.

  “Well, uh…It’s a nice little house, but I’m not sure it’s the right one for us,” Timothy said. “I can see we’d be sinking a lot of money into the place just to enlarge it for our needs.”

  Hannah released a lingering sigh. “Oh, Timothy, I totally agree.”

  “You do?”

  She nodded vigorously. “The place is way too small, and it’s so isolated out here. I wouldn’t think you’d want to be this far from your brothers either.”

  A sense of relief flooded over Timothy. She was as disappointed in the place as he was. Even so, she was probably unhappy that they would have to continue living with Samuel for who knew how much longer.

  “It’s okay,” he said, whispering in Hannah’s ear. “I’m sure some other place will come up for sale, and hopefully it’ll be closer to home.”

  “Home?” She tipped her head and looked at him curiously.

  “What I meant to say was, closer to Samuel and Titus’s homes.”

  “It’ll need to be a much larger house and not so isolated.” Her lips compressed, and tiny wrinkles formed across her forehead. “I think I’d go crazy if we moved way out here.”

  “Not to worry,” he said, resting his hand on her arm. “We’ll wait till we find just the right place. Anyway, we can consider this as a practice run in knowing what we need to look for. Live and learn, right?”

  Hannah gave a quick nod; then she leaned her head against the seat and closed her eyes. Was she still hoping he’d give up on the idea of living in Kentucky and move back to Pennsylvania? Well, if she was, she could forget that notion.

  CHAPTER 16

  Hannah glanced out the kitchen window and grimaced. It had started snowing last night and hadn’t let up at all. Christmas was just two weeks away, and if the weather turned bad, it could affect her folks’ plan to come for the holiday. Timothy’s parents were planning to come, too. In fact, their folks planned to hire a driver and travel together. Andy Paulsen, the driver they’d asked, was single, owned a nice-sized van, and had some friends who lived in Hopkinsville, so it was the perfect arrangement.

  Hannah wondered if Timothy was as anxious to see his folks as she was hers. It was different for Timothy; he had family here. She didn’t. He never talked about home the way she did either, so maybe he was happy just being here, where he could see his twin brother and Samuel whenever he wanted. Despite a bit of competition between Timothy and Titus, they’d always been very close. Hannah remembered one evening when she and Timothy were courting that Titus, who liked to play pranks, had taken her home from a singing, pretending to be Timothy. Since it was dark and she couldn’t see his face well, he’d managed to fool her until they got to her house and one of the barn cats had rubbed against his leg when he was helping Hannah out of the buggy. He’d hollered at the cat and called it a stupid katz, something Timothy would never have done. Hannah knew right away that she’d ridden home with the wrong brother.

  She chuckled as she thought about how she’d decided to play along with the joke awhile and had picked up the cat and thrust it into Titus’s arms. When the cat stuck its claws into Titus’s chest, the joke ended.

  “What’s so funny?”

  Hannah whirled around. “Ach, Esther, you shouldn’t sneak up on me like that.”

  “I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Esther said apologetically. “I just came into the kitchen to check on the soup I’ve got cooking and saw you standing in front of the window laughing. I thought something amusing must be going on outside.”

  Hannah shook her head. “The only thing going on out there is a lot of snow coming down.”

  Esther stepped up to the window. “It doesn’t seem to be letting up, does it?”

  “Do you get much snow in this part of Kentucky?” Hannah asked.

  “Some years we do. Other times we hardly get any at all.” Esther motioned to the window. “If this is an indication of what’s to come, we might be in for a bad winter this year.”

  Hannah frowned. “I hope not. The weather needs to be nice so Timothy’s folks and mine can get here for Christmas.”

  Esther smiled. “From what Samuel’s told me, his folks are really excited about coming, so it would probably have to be something bad like a blizzard to keep them at home. Maybe the snow will stick around, if it stays cold enough, and give us a white Christmas.”

  “My parents are looking forward to coming here, too, and I guess if this is the only snow we get until they arrive, it would be nice to have it around for Christmas.”

  “Can we go outside and play in the schnee?” Penny asked as she, Jared, and Mindy raced into the kitchen.

  “That sounds like fun,” Esther said. “And when you’re done playing in the snow, you can come inside for a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup.”

  Jared and Penny squealed, jumping eagerly up and down.

  “Schnee! Schnee!” Mindy hollered, joining her cousins in their eagerness to play in the snow.

  Hannah put her finger to her lips. “Calm down.” She looked at Esther. “I’m sure it’s frigid out there, and I don’t think any of them should go outside to play.”

  “They’ll come in if they get too cold,” Esther said.

  Hannah shook her head. “I don’t want my daughter getting cold and wet.”

  “I understand that, but I don’t think a few minutes in the snow will hurt her any. I’m sure when you were little you loved the snow. Didn’t you?”

  “Jah, but I was never allowed to play in it very long because my mamm always worried about me getting chilled.”

  “Please…please…can Mindy go outside with us to play?” Penny pleaded.

  All three children continued to jump up and down, hollering so loudly that Hannah had to cover her ears. “Oh, all right,” she finally agreed. “But I’m going outside with you, because I want to make sure Mindy doesn’t wander off or slip in the wet snow and get hurt.”

  “I think I’ll turn down the stove and join you,” Esther said. “It’s been awhile since I frolicked in the snow.”

  After all the fuss, Esther was surprised to actually see Hannah laughing and romping around in the snow like a schoolgirl. She even showed the children how she liked to open her mouth and catch snowflakes on the end of her tongue.

  “This is schpass!” Penny shouted as she raced past Esther, slipping and sliding in the snow.

  “Jah, it’s a lot of fun!” Esther tweaked the end of Penny’s cold nose. “Should we see if there’s enough snow on the ground to make a snowman?”

  All three children nodded enthusiastically, and even Hannah said it sounded like fun.

  Hannah helped Mindy form a snowball, and they began rolling it across the lawn while Esther helped Jared roll another snowball. Since Penny was a bit older, she was able to get a snowball started on her own.

  As the children worked, they giggled, caught more snowflakes on their tongues, and huffed and puffed as their snowballs grew bigger. Esther was pleased to see Hannah actually enjoying herself. It was the first time she’d seen this side of Hannah. Maybe she was warming up to the idea of living here. There might even be a possibility that the two of them could become friends. It wasn’t that Esther needed more friends; she had Suzanne and Bonnie. But Hannah needed a friend, and if she could act happy and carefree like she was doing now, she’d probably make a lot of friends in this community. Unfortunately, though, since Hannah had arrived in Kentucky, her actions had made her appear standoffish.

  After they finished building the snowman, Esther suggested they look for some small rocks to use for the snowman’s eyes and buttons for his chest.

  The ch
ildren squatted down in an area where some dirt was showing and started looking for rocks, and Esther joined them.

  “Maybe I should run inside and check on the soup,” Hannah said. “Just to be sure it’s not boiling over.”

  “I turned the stove down, so I’m sure it’s fine.” Esther reached for a small stone she thought would be perfect for one of the snowman’s eyes. “And Hannah, I just thought of something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I was wondering what your thoughts are on the two desserts I’m hoping to make for Christmas.”

  “What did you have in mind?” Hannah asked.

  “One of the things I wanted to make is pumpkin cookies, because I know Samuel and the kinner like them. I also found a recipe for Kentucky chocolate chip pie, and I was thinking of trying that, too. I’ve never made it before, but it sounds really good.”

  “I could make the pie if you like,” Hannah said. “I’m always looking for new recipes to try.”

  “That’d be great.” Esther was glad Hannah had made the offer. It was what she’d been hoping for. Maybe baking together would bridge the gap that still seemed to be between them.

  Hannah smiled. “Timothy loves anything with chocolate chips in it, so I know at least one person who’ll be eager to try out the pie. That is, if it turns out okay.”

  “You’re a good cook, so I’m sure it’ll turn out fine.” Esther felt hopeful. She was glad today had been going so well.

  “I can only hope so. Now, I think somebody ought to check on that soup,” Hannah said. “So, if you’ll keep a close eye on Mindy, I’ll go do that.”

  “Sure, no problem.” Esther glanced up at Hannah to make sure she’d heard her, and when Hannah turned and headed into the house, she continued to look for more rocks.

  Esther was only vaguely aware that Jared and Mindy had begun chasing each other around the yard, until she heard a bloodcurdling scream.

  Dropping the rock she’d just found, she hurried across the yard, where Mindy stood holding her nose. Blood oozed between Mindy’s gloved fingers and trickled down the sleeve of her jacket. The children had obviously collided. So much for fun in the snow!

  Just then, Hannah rushed out of the house. Seeing Mindy’s bloody nose, she glared at Esther. “What happened?”

  “The children were running, and I think Jared and Mindy collided with each other,” Esther said.

  Hannah knelt down to take a look at her daughter’s nose. “I thought you promised to keep an eye on Mindy for me,” she said, taking a tissue from her jacket pocket and holding it against Mindy’s nose. “If you’d been watching her, Esther, this wouldn’t have happened!”

  “I’m sorry,” Esther said above Mindy’s sobbing.

  Hannah grabbed Mindy’s hand and ushered her into the house.

  That’s just great, Esther thought. Things were going so well between Hannah and me. Now this is one more thing for Hannah to complain to Samuel about when he gets home from work tonight. If Hannah and Timothy don’t move into a place of their own soon, Hannah will probably have Samuel convinced that I’m not fit to be his wife or the kinner’s stepmother.

  CHAPTER 17

  Branson, Missouri

  Is this your first time here?” an elderly woman with silver-gray hair asked Trisha as she took her seat in one of the most elaborate theaters in Branson. She’d gone to the women’s restroom before entering the theater and was surprised to see that even it was ornately decorated.

  Trisha nodded, feeling rather self-conscious. “Does it show?”

  The woman chuckled. “Just a little. I couldn’t help but notice the look of awe on your face as you surveyed your surroundings. It is quite beautiful, isn’t it?”

  “It is a magnificent theater,” Trisha said. “I’ve never seen anything quite like this before.”

  “You know the old saying, ‘You ain’t seen nothin’ yet’? Well, you just wait until you see this show. The star attraction is a violinist, and his Christmas show is absolutely incredible. I’ve seen him perform before, and I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.”

  Trisha smiled in anticipation. “I’m looking forward to it.”

  “So, are you here alone?”

  Trisha nodded. “I’m from California, and I’m making a trip across the country to take in some sights I’ve always wanted to see. After I spend a few days here, I’ll be heading to Nashville. From there, I’m going to Bowling Green, Kentucky, to see an old friend.”

  Just then the show started, ending their conversation. As the curtain went up, Trisha turned her attention to the stage, listening with rapt attention to the beautiful violin music that began the show. So far this trip was turning out well, and she looked forward to spending Christmas with her friend Carla.

  Hopkinsville, Kentucky

  “I’m so glad the weather’s improved and there’s no snow on the ground,” Hannah said as she and Suzanne pushed their carts into Walmart’s produce section. Since it was Saturday, and Samuel and Timothy had volunteered to watch the children, Hannah and Suzanne had hired a driver to take them to town so they could do some grocery shopping and buy a few Christmas gifts.

  “It would be nice to have a white Christmas,” Suzanne said wistfully, “like the ones I remember from my childhood.”

  “Esther said the same thing about having a white Christmas. Maybe so, but snowy weather makes it harder to travel, and I don’t want anything to stand in the way of my folks coming for Christmas.”

  “I’m sure their driver will have either snow tires or chains for his van, so driving in the snow shouldn’t be a problem. Unless, of course, it became a blizzard.”

  Hannah nodded. “That’s what worries me. I’d be so disappointed if my folks couldn’t come, and I’m sure Timothy and his brothers would feel bad if their folks couldn’t make it either.”

  Suzanne patted Hannah’s arm. “Not to worry. I’m sure everything will be fine and we’ll all have a really nice Christmas, with or without the snow.”

  Pembroke, Kentucky

  “I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” Timothy said when he returned to the house after checking the messages in Samuel’s phone shanty.

  “Let’s have the good news first,” Samuel said, placing his coffee cup on the kitchen table.

  “Mom and Dad’s message said they’re still planning to come for Christmas and they can stay until New Year’s.”

  Samuel grinned. “That is good news. It’ll be great to see our folks again, and we’ll have plenty of time to visit and catch up on things.” He picked up his cup and took a drink. “So, what’s the bad news?”

  “Hannah’s mother left a message saying she and Johnny won’t be coming after all.” Timothy groaned. “I sure dread telling Hannah about it, because I know she’s gonna be very upset. She’s been looking forward to her parents’ visit for weeks now.”

  “Why can’t Sally and Johnny come?” Samuel asked.

  “Johnny injured his back picking up a heavy box at the store. He’s flat in bed, taking pain pills and muscle relaxers. Sally has to wait on him hand and foot because he can’t do much of anything right now and was advised by his doctor to stay in bed for the time being.”

  “That’s too bad. I remember last year when Allen hurt his back after falling down some stairs. He was cranky as a bear with sore paws and none too happy about his mom coming to take care of him.”

  “Doesn’t he get along well with her?” Timothy asked, taking a seat beside Samuel.

  “They get along okay, but from what I could tell, his mom tried to baby him, and Allen didn’t go for that at all.”

  “I guess most men don’t like to be babied. We want to know that our women love us, but we don’t want ’em treatin’ us like we’re little boys.”

  “That’s for sure.” Samuel reached for one of the cinnamon rolls Esther had baked the day before and took a bite. “So how are you gonna break the news to Hannah?”

  “Guess I’ll just have to tell her the facts,
but I’m sure not looking forward to it.” Timothy grimaced. “Hannah’s been in a better mood here of late, but I’m afraid that’ll change once she hears about her folks.”

  Later that night after Hannah had put Mindy to bed, she and Timothy retired to their room, and she told him what a good time she’d had shopping. “Suzanne and I found all of the Christmas gifts we had on our lists.” Hannah smiled, realizing how good it felt to tell Timothy the events of her day. The outing with Suzanne had been just what she needed to vanish some of the tension she’d felt since arriving in Kentucky.

  “Oh Timothy, I’m so excited about my folks coming for Christmas. It will be wunderbaar to have all of our parents here for the holidays. I think I actually feel some of that special holiday spirit.” Hannah plumped up their pillows, feeling a sense of lightheartedness she hadn’t experienced in some time. But then she noticed a strange look on her husband’s face.

  “Hannah, I’m really glad you had such a nice day with Suzanne,” Timothy said, “but there’s something I need to tell you.”

  “What is it?”

  “I wanted us to be alone when I told you this, and there’s no easy way to soften the blow, so I may as well just come right out and say it. Your parents won’t be able to make it for Christmas.”

  She hoped she’d heard him wrong. “What do you mean? Why aren’t they coming?”

  “Your daed hurt his back and won’t be able to travel for a while.”

  “Oh no.” She groaned, plopping down on the bed. “I just can’t believe it.”

  “I’m sorry,” Timothy said. “I know how disappointed you must be.”

  Hannah sniffed, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. “Jah.” Her hands shook as she stood and pulled the covers back on the bed. Changing into her nightgown and climbing under the covers, she could almost feel Timothy watching her. Yet he remained quiet as he slid into bed next to her. After a few minutes, she heard his steady, even breathing and figured he must have fallen asleep.