the STRUGGLE

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Turning her attention back to the issue at hand, Sally said to Phoebe, “Well, just see that you’re not late for work today. Johnny and I don’t want any of our employees sloughing off on the job.”

  “No, I won’t be late,” Phoebe mumbled before hurrying down the aisle.

  Pembroke, Kentucky

  Hannah glanced out the living-room window at the swirling snow and frowned. She hated being cooped up in the house—especially with so many people. Why couldn’t Fannie and Abraham have stayed with Titus and Suzanne the whole time? Having them here was just a reminder that her folks were at home and Dad was down with a sore back. With the exception of the bird feeder Timothy had given Hannah, it had not been a very good Christmas. And now this horrible weather only made her feel worse. She knew it had upset Timothy that the bird feeder he’d given her would remain in the box until they got a place of their own. But she didn’t want the feeder put up in Samuel’s yard, even if temporarily. Hannah wanted the feeder in her own yard, not someone else’s.

  Then, to give her one more thing to fret about, this morning after breakfast, Samuel and Timothy had taken off with Samuel’s horse and buggy for Hopkinsville, because they hadn’t been able to get ahold of Allen and were worried about him. Hannah had tried talking Timothy out of going, reminding him that the roads were bad and it was hard to see. But he’d been determined to go, and nothing she’d said made any difference. It seemed as though whatever Hannah wanted, Timothy was determined to do just the opposite. Or at least that’s how it had been since they’d moved to Kentucky.

  “I think I’ll go out to the phone shanty and see if there are any messages from my mamm,” Hannah said to Fannie, who sat in the rocking chair by the fire with Jared and Mindy in her lap.

  “It’s awfully cold out there,” Fannie said. “Abraham said so when he went out to help Samuel clean the barn this morning.”

  “I’ll be fine.” Hannah stepped into the hall and removed her heavy woolen shawl from a wall peg. After wrapping it snugly around her shoulders, she put on her outer bonnet, slipped into a pair of boots, and went out the door.

  The snow was deeper than she’d thought it would be, and she winced when she took her first step and ended up with icy cold snow down her boots. By the time she reached the phone shanty, her teeth had begun to chatter, and goose bumps covered her arms and legs. To make matters worse, Hannah’s feet were soaking wet and fast getting numb from the snow that kept falling inside her boots.

  I should have thought to put on some gloves, she told herself as she stepped inside the shanty and turned on the battery-operated light sitting on the small wooden table beside the phone. She blew on her fingers to get the feeling back in them, took a seat in the folding chair, and wiggled her toes, hoping to get some warmth in her boots before punching the button to listen to their voice-mail messages. There was one from Mom, saying she’d heard about the bad weather they were having and asking if everyone was all right. Hannah picked up the phone and dialed her folks’ number, but since no one was in the phone shack, she had to leave a message. “Hi, Mom, it’s Hannah. I wanted to let you know that we’re all fine here, but the weather’s awful, and I really miss you. I wish we could have been in Pennsylvania for Christmas instead of here.”

  Hannah hung up the phone, and with a feeling of hopelessness, she trudged back to the house, trying not to get more snow in her already-soaked boots.

  Hopkinsville, Kentucky

  Allen shivered as he pulled a blanket around his shoulders and made his way to the kitchen. He couldn’t believe he’d been without power for twenty-four hours, and with no phone or battery for his truck, it looked like he would be stuck here until the power came on and he could call someone for help.

  “Man, it’s sure cold in here! Guess this is what I get for building my home where there are no neighbors close by,” he grumbled. If he had, he could have asked one of them to give him a ride into town where he could buy a new battery for his truck.

  “Let’s see now, what do I want to eat?” he asked himself, peeking into the refrigerator, which had stayed plenty cold despite the loss of power. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich would be real good about now, but he knew there was no peanut butter. It was on his grocery list. There was no jelly either, but he did find a package of cheddar cheese, a bottle of orange juice, two sticks of butter, and a carton of eggs. He wasn’t in the mood for raw eggs, so he took out the cheese and orange juice, got down a box of crackers from the cupboard, and took a seat at the table. “Dear Lord,” he prayed, bowing his head, “bless this pitiful breakfast I’m about to eat, restore power to the area soon, and be with my family and friends everywhere. Amen.”

  Allen’s thoughts went to Bonnie. Did she have power at her place? Was she doing okay? He wished he could just jump in the truck and head over there now—or at least call to check up on her. “I’m such a fool,” he muttered. He regretted the way he’d left on Christmas Eve and knew he needed to apologize for not showing up yesterday, too, although that was completely out of his control. Things had sure changed from when he had fretted over not flubbing up his proposal to Bonnie. He wished now her answer was all he had to worry about. One thing for sure: he needed to talk to Bonnie soon.

  Allen had just eaten his second cracker when a knock sounded on the front door. He jumped up and raced over to the door to see who it was. Timothy and Samuel stood on his porch dressed in heavy jackets and straw hats.

  “We’ve been trying to call and became worried when we didn’t get an answer,” Samuel said, his brows furrowed. “When Esther mentioned that Bonnie said you never showed up for Christmas, we decided we’d better come and check on you.”

  “How’d you get here?” Allen asked, looking past their shoulders.

  “Came with Samuel’s horse and buggy.” Timothy motioned to where they’d tied the horse to a tree near Allen’s garage.

  “Wow, it must have taken you awhile to get here,” Allen said. “Especially in this horrible weather.”

  Samuel nodded. “Took us over an hour, but there weren’t any cars on the road, so we moved along at a pretty good clip.”

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Allen said, “because the power’s out, and to top it off, the battery in my truck is dead. Since yesterday morning, I’ve been stranded with no heat, and I can’t find my cell phone, so I haven’t been able to call anyone for help.”

  “You left your cell phone at Bonnie’s on Christmas Eve,” Samuel said. “She told Esther that, too.”

  “Oh, I see. I kind of figured that might be the case.” Allen opened the door wider. “You two had better come inside. It’s not much warmer in the house than it is outside, but at least it’s not snowing in here,” he added with a chuckle.

  “Why don’t you gather up some clothes and come home with us?” Samuel suggested after they’d entered the house.

  “I appreciate the offer, but I wouldn’t want to impose.”

  “It’s not an imposition,” Samuel said. “Besides, if you stay here and the power doesn’t come on soon, you’ll either freeze to death or die of hunger.”

  “You’ve got that right. Although, I guess I could have tromped through the snow and pulled my barbecue grill out of the garage.” Allen’s nose crinkled. “But I don’t have much food in the house, and even if I did, I don’t relish the thought of bein’ out in the cold trying to cook it.”

  “I can’t blame you there,” Timothy said.

  “Give me a minute to throw a few things together, and then we can head out.” Allen started for his room but turned back around. “Say, I have an idea.”

  “What’s that?” Samuel asked.

  “Instead of taking me to your place, how about dropping me off at Bonnie’s? That way I can get my cell phone, and if she’s still speaking to me, maybe I can talk her into letting me have one of her rooms at the B&B for the night.”

  “Why wouldn’t she be speaking to you?” Timothy questioned.

  “It’s a long story. I’ll tell y
ou both about it on the way.”

  Samuel nodded. “If it doesn’t work out and you still need a place to stay, you’re more than welcome to come home with us.”

  “Thanks. Depending on how things go with Bonnie, I may need to take you up on that offer.”

  CHAPTER 24

  Pembroke, Kentucky

  It looks like Bonnie must have a guest,” Allen said when Samuel pulled his horse and buggy up to the hitching rail. A small blue car, mostly covered in snow, was parked near the garage.

  “That’s right, she does,” Samuel said. “Esther mentioned that the woman is from California and she arrived here late on Christmas Eve.”

  “I thought the B&B was closed for the holidays,” Allen said, climbing down from the buggy.

  “It was, but Bonnie made an exception because the woman couldn’t find her way to Hopkinsville in the snow and needed a place to stay.”

  Allen smiled. That sounded like Bonnie. She was a good person, and they really did need to talk.

  “Maybe you’d better come inside where it’s warmer and wait until I see if Bonnie will rent me a room,” Allen said, looking first at Timothy and then Samuel.

  “Sure, we can do that,” Samuel said, “but I doubt that Bonnie would turn you out in the cold.”

  Allen wasn’t so sure about that. He’d walked out Christmas Eve without a word of explanation or even telling her good-bye. No doubt, Bonnie’s dad had told her about the conversation they’d had regarding Bonnie’s past, so by him not showing up for dinner yesterday, she probably thought he was angry with her.

  Well, I was at first, he admitted to himself as he tromped through the drifts of snow in the yard. I was angry and hurt, but I’m going to fix things now if I can.

  After the three men stepped onto the porch, Samuel knocked on the door. A few seconds later, Bonnie opened it, and she looked at them in disbelief. Then her gaze went to the yard, where the horse and buggy stood. “I’m surprised to see you out in this horrible weather.” She glanced over at Allen. “Did you come here in Samuel’s buggy?”

  He nodded.

  “Where’s your truck?”

  “At home with a dead battery. I’ve been stranded there since Christmas morning, with no electricity, no vehicle, and no cell phone.”

  “Your cell phone is here. We found it on the chair you sat in on Christmas Eve.” Bonnie opened the door farther and moved aside. “Come in, everyone, where it’s warmer.”

  As they stepped into the entryway, Allen caught a glimpse of a middle-aged woman sitting in front of the fireplace in the living room to his right. He figured she must be Bonnie’s unexpected guest.

  “Let’s go into the kitchen,” Bonnie suggested. “I’ll pour you some coffee, and how about a piece of pumpkin pie or some chocolate cheesecake to go with it?”

  Allen’s mouth watered. “Mmm…that sounds really good.”

  “Same here,” Samuel and Timothy said in unison.

  “Which one do you want—the cheesecake or the pie?” Bonnie asked.

  “Both,” Allen replied with a grin. “I’ve had very little to eat in the last twenty-four hours, and I’m just about starved to death.”

  “No problem. I have pie and plenty of leftovers from yesterday’s Christmas dinner.”

  Allen grimaced. If he’d been there yesterday to eat with them, there wouldn’t be so many leftovers, and he wouldn’t feel as though he was close to starvation right now.

  “Is your dad still here?” Samuel asked as he removed his jacket and took a seat at the table, along with the others. “I was hoping I’d get the opportunity to meet him.”

  “Yes, he’s in his room right now, but I’ll call him down before you leave.” Bonnie poured them all coffee, and then she took a delicious-looking pumpkin pie from the refrigerator, cut three slices, and gave them each a piece. Following that, she placed a dish of chocolate cheesecake on the table and said they could help themselves.

  “Dad was planning to leave today, but with the weather turning bad, he called the airlines and canceled his flight,” Bonnie said. “He doesn’t want to go until the weather improves, because he’s concerned about me driving him to the airport on snowy roads.”

  “My truck has four-wheel drive, so I’d be happy to take him,” Allen offered as he helped himself to a generous slice of pumpkin pie. “As soon as I get a battery for it, that is.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but I’m sure I can manage to get him there.” Bonnie smiled, but it appeared to be forced.

  She is upset with me, and I need to talk to her about my actions on Christmas Eve, but I can’t very well say anything with Timothy and Samuel sitting here. Allen blew on his coffee and took a drink. “Uh…the reason we came over is, I was wondering if I could rent a room from you for the night.”

  She shook her head.

  “You won’t rent me a room?” He couldn’t believe she would turn him out in the cold.

  “No, but I will let you stay in a room free of charge.” Her smile softened, reaching all the way to her eyes this time.

  Allen relaxed and released a deep breath. “Thanks. I appreciate that very much.”

  They sat quietly for a while as the men drank their coffee and ate the pie. Then, when they were just finishing up, Bonnie excused herself and left the room. When she returned several minutes later, she had Allen’s cell phone, and her father was with her.

  “Dad, I’d like you to meet Samuel Fisher,” she said, motioning to Samuel. “And this is his brother Timothy.”

  “It’s nice to meet you both,” Ken said, shaking their hands. “You did some real nice work on this old house,” he added, looking at Samuel.

  Samuel motioned to Allen. “I can’t take all the credit. My good friend here did some of the work.”

  Ken looked at Allen and smiled. “It’s good to see you again. We missed you on Christmas Day.”

  Allen explained his situation and why he was here right now. What he didn’t admit was that even if he hadn’t been stranded, he might not have come for Christmas dinner. He’d really needed the time alone to spend in thought and prayer. So at least something good had come from him being alone on Christmas Day, sad as it was.

  “I’m sorry you were stranded but glad you’re here now,” Ken said, clasping Allen’s shoulder. “I think you and my daughter need to talk.”

  Before Allen could respond, Samuel pushed his chair aside and stood. “Since Allen has a place to spend the night, I guess Timothy and I will be on our way. We’ve been gone quite awhile, and we don’t want Esther, Hannah, or our mom to start worrying about us.”

  “Knowing Hannah, she’s probably been worried since the moment we left,” Timothy said.

  “I’ll walk you to the door,” Ken offered.

  Timothy and Samuel said their good-byes and started out of the kitchen.

  “We’ll be back to check on you tomorrow, Allen,” Samuel called over his shoulder.

  “Okay, thanks.”

  “Would you like another cup of coffee?” Bonnie asked Allen as the other men left.

  He nodded. “That’d be nice. I hadn’t had anything hot to drink since I lost power at my place.”

  “Oh, and would you like something more than just the pie to eat? I can fix you some eggs and toast.”

  “That does sound good, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to you first.” He glanced toward the door to see if Ken might come back to the kitchen and was relieved when he heard footsteps clomping up the stairs.

  “What did you want to talk about?” Bonnie asked, taking a seat across from him.

  Allen cleared his throat a few times. “First, I need to apologize for rushing out of here on Christmas Eve without saying good-bye.”

  Bonnie sat staring at him.

  “And second, I want you to know the reason I left.”

  “I think I already know,” she said. “Dad told you about the baby I had when I was a teenager, and you were upset by it, so you went home.” Tears welled in her eyes. �
�You probably think I’m a terrible person now, don’t you?”

  He shook his head. “We all make mistakes, Bonnie. You were just a confused teenager with no mother to guide you and a father who was struggling to raise you on his own.”

  She nodded slowly. “But that’s still no excuse for what I did. I’d been brought up with good morals, and—” She stopped talking and reached for a napkin to wipe the tears that had dribbled onto her cheeks.

  “Beating yourself up about the past won’t change anything,” Allen said. “And just so you know—the fact that you had a baby out of wedlock wasn’t really why I left.”

  “It…it wasn’t?”

  “No. The main reason I left was because I couldn’t deal with you having kept it from me—especially when I’d thought we’d been drawing so close.”

  “I was planning to tell you, Allen. I just couldn’t seem to find the nerve or the right time to say it.”

  “How come? Did you think I wouldn’t want to marry you if I knew about your past?”

  “That’s exactly what I thought.” Bonnie blew her nose on the napkin. “I was afraid you might not want me if you knew what I’d done.”

  Allen left his chair and skirted around the table. Gently pulling Bonnie to her feet, he whispered, “I love you, Bonnie Taylor, and if you’ll have me, I want to be your husband.”

  “Oh yes, Allen. I’d be honored to marry you,” she said tearfully.

  A wide smile spread across his face. “I was hoping you’d say that, and I’m also hoping you’ll accept this.” Allen reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. When he opened it, Bonnie saw the beautiful diamond ring inside and gasped.

  “Oh Allen, it’s perfect!”

  He removed it from the box and slipped it on her finger then pulled her into his arms.

  They stood together for several minutes, holding each other and whispering words of endearment. Then, when Allen’s stomach gurgled noisily, Bonnie laughed and pulled away. “I think I’d better give you something more to eat before you starve to death.”