“Anna married Reuben. They’re leaving the church, and—”
“Reuben Yutzy and my Anna?”
Rachel nodded. The motion was all she could manage given the circumstances. Even in the darkness, she could see the pained expression on Silas’s face.
“This can’t be. It just can’t be,” he muttered.
They stood staring at each other as crickets creaked and the cornstalks in the field beside her house rustled in the night air. Rachel’s shoulders rose and fell, as she struggled not to cry. If only she had the power to turn back the hands of time and make everything right. If she could just think of a way to make her sister come home. But what good would that do? Anna was already married to Reuben, and nothing Rachel could say or do would change that fact.
Silas began to pace. “I knew Reuben was dissatisfied with our way of life. I also knew he was hanging around some English fellows who seemed intent on leading him astray.” He stopped, turned, and slowly shook his head. “But I had no idea Anna was in on it, too. I thought I knew her better than that.”
Rachel trembled. She didn’t know if her shivering was from the cool grass tickling her bare feet or if it stemmed from the anger she felt rising in her soul. There was only one thing she was certain of—Silas was trying to lay the blame on her sister’s shoulders.
“Anna wasn’t in on this. She became part of it because she loves Reuben and wanted to be with him.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“Not in so many words, but she did say she and Reuben have been secretly seeing each other and that they’re in love. She made it clear that her place is with him.”
Silas grunted. “She probably influenced him to make the break. Anna always has been a bit of a rebel.”
Rachel’s heart thumped so hard she feared it might burst wide open. How dare Silas speak of her sister that way! She gasped for breath, grateful for the cool night air to help clear her head. “Anna might have a mind of her own, but she’s not the kind of person who would try to sway someone else to leave the church. I know for a fact that it was Reuben who wanted to go English, and I believe Anna loves him so much that she couldn’t say no.”
***
Silas drew in a deep breath, trying to get control of his emotions. It seemed his whole world was falling apart, but he knew he had no right to blame Anna for it. He’d just talked to Reuben a few days ago, and his friend had made it clear that he wanted many of the things the world had to offer. He was working for an English man, had bought a fancy red truck, and had even told Silas that he wasn’t happy being Amish anymore. Truth be told, Silas had halfway expected Reuben to leave the faith. What he hadn’t expected was that Anna would be leaving, too—especially not as Reuben’s wife.
“If I had it in my power to make things turn out differently, I surely would,” Rachel said, breaking into Silas’s troubling thoughts.
When he looked down at her, he noticed that her chin quivered like a leaf caught in a breeze. For one brief moment, Silas was tempted to take Rachel into his arms and offer comforting words. Trouble was, he had no words of comfort ... for Rachel or himself. All he felt was anger and betrayal. His friend had taken his girl away, and Anna had led him on all these years. How could he come to grips with that knowledge and not feel bitter?
Silas dipped his head in apology. “I’m sorry for snapping at you, Rachel. I know none of this is your fault. It’s just such a shock to find out you’ve lost not one, but two special friends in the same day.” He sniffed. “This had to be going on between Reuben and Anna for some time, and I was just too blind to see it. What a dummkopp I’ve been, thinking Anna and I had a future together. Why, I chased after her like a horse running toward a bucket of fresh oats, even though she kept pushing me away. She must have thought I was ab im kopp.”
Rachel grabbed hold of his arm and gave it a shake. “Stop talking that way! You’re not a dunce, and you’re not off in the head for loving someone. Reuben had you fooled, and Anna had our whole family fooled.” She shook her head. “No one’s to blame but Anna and Reuben. They should have been honest with everyone involved. They shouldn’t have waited so long to tell us their plans, and they should never have lied to cover up what they were doing.”
Silas nodded. “You’re right, Rachel. They deserve to be shunned.”
“That’s the part I dislike the most. It’s hard enough to have Anna leave home, but to realize we’re gonna have to shun our own kin is the worst part of all.” Rachel grimaced. “Since Reuben hasn’t joined the church, he won’t be shunned at all, but my poor sister will be paying the price for his selfishness.”
“That was her choice, so she ought to be prepared for the consequences.” Silas blew out his breath and took a few steps back. “Guess I should be gettin’ on home. My mission here is over. As much as it pains me to say it, Anna’s out of my life for good.”
Rachel rubbed her hands briskly over her arms like she might be getting cold, and for the second time, Silas was tempted to embrace her. He caught himself in time, though, remembering Anna’s words the other day when she’d said she thought Rachel might be interested in him. If he hugged her, even in condolence, she might get the wrong idea. No, it would be better if he didn’t say or do anything that might lead Rachel on. Things were messed up enough. No sense making one more mistake.
“See you at the next preaching service,” Silas said before he turned and sprinted up the driveway where his horse and buggy stood waiting. Rachel would have to find comfort from her family, and he would find solace through his work on the farm.
***
Anna glanced over at her husband sleeping as soundly on his side of the bed as a newborn babe. A lump formed in her throat as tears gathered in her eyes. She loved Reuben so much and wanted to be with him at all costs, but it pained her to know how much she’d hurt her family by leaving the Amish faith to join Reuben in the modern, English world. During their secret courtship, she had tried several times to convince him to stay Amish, but he’d flatly refused. That meant she either had to break up with him or agree to go English, too.
It’s so strange, she thought, as she slipped out of bed and padded across the room to stand in front of the window, but there were times when we were courting that I actually thought I would be happier living the English way of life. Now I’m not so sure.
She glanced around their small, sparsely furnished bedroom, devoid of many decorative items. It wasn’t that Reuben didn’t want fancy things; they just didn’t have enough money to buy much yet, and since they hadn’t had a traditional Amish wedding, they’d received no wedding gifts, either.
Anna pulled the curtain aside and stared at the moonlit sky. Guess I’ll need to look for a job soon so we’ll have enough money to pay the rent on this apartment, make Reuben’s truck payment, and be able to buy a few fancy electronic gadgets Reuben’s been wanting to have.
Tears slipped from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Dear Lord, help me to be content with the life Reuben wants us to have, and help my folks understand the decision I made to go English.
CHAPTER 10
On the first day of August, an unreal stillness hung in the hot, sticky air. The inside of the house felt like an oven, so Rachel had wandered outside after lunch, hoping to find a cool breeze. She found, instead, her younger brother and sister engaged in an all-out water skirmish.
Squeals of laughter permeated the air as the twins ran back and forth to the freshly filled water trough, filling their buckets and flinging water on one another until they were both drenched from head to toe.
Rachel chuckled at their antics and stepped off the porch, thinking she might join them. The flash of a colorful wing caught her attention instead. Her gaze followed the goldfinch as it sailed from tree to tree, finally stopping at one of the feeders in the flower garden. When it had eaten its fill, it flew over to the birdbath on the other side of the yard. Dipping its tiny black head up and down, the finch drank of the fresh water Rachel had put there ear
ly that morning.
Rachel loved watching the birds that came into their yard. Loved hearing their melodic songs. Loved everything about nature.
“ Per-chick-o-ree,” the finch called.
“ Per-chick-o-ree,” Rachel echoed.
She watched until the bird flew out of sight; then she moved across the yard toward the clothesline. In this heat, the clothes she had washed and hung this morning were probably dry.
Rachel had only taken a few clothes off the line, when she heard a small voice nearby. Apparently Elizabeth had given up her water battle with Perry, for she was crouched next to the wicker basket, staring up at Rachel with an expectant look on her face. The child’s hair, which was supposed to be secured at the back of her head in a bun, hung down the back of her wet dress like a limp rag.
“Elizabeth, did you say something to me?” Rachel asked.
The child nodded.
“What was it?”
“Dad says Anna and Reuben won’t make it in the English world and that they’ll come to their senses and return home again. I was wondering what you thought about that.”
Rachel knelt next to her sister and wrapped her arms around the little girl’s shoulders. “We’re all hoping Anna and Reuben will return to our way of life, but we need to face the fact that it might not happen.”
“How come?”
“Reuben has it in his mind that he wants to live as the English do, and the last letter I got from Anna said she’s working as a waitress at some restaurant in Lancaster. She and Reuben are married now, and they’ve settled into an apartment there.”
“Why can’t they live here with us?” Elizabeth asked, her blue eyes looking ever so serious.
Rachel drew in a deep breath and blew it out in a rush. How could she explain something to her little sister that she didn’t fully understand herself? “Well, it’s like this, Elizabeth—”
“That’ll be enough, Rachel!” Dad’s deep voice cut through the air like a knife. He grabbed hold of Elizabeth’s arm and pulled her to her feet. “Get on up to the house and change out of those wet clothes. Your mamm’s been looking for you, and I’m sure she’s got something useful you can be doing.”
“But Dad, Rachel was trying to tell me some things about Anna and Reuben.”
“We’ve had enough talk about Anna and her wayward husband.”
Elizabeth tipped her head as she stared up at their father with questioning eyes. “We hardly talk about my older sister anymore.”
“And it’s for the best.” Dad gave Elizabeth a little push as he turned her toward the house. “I said your mamm could use your help with some things, so be off with you now.”
With head down and shoulders slumped, Elizabeth trudged off. Dad watched until she disappeared into the house; then he turned to face Rachel. “You ought to discourage Elizabeth from talking about Anna. The child’s still young and doesn’t understand all the things of the world yet. She might think what Anna’s done is perfectly okay with us.”
“Elizabeth meant no harm in asking, and I didn’t think it would hurt to try to explain things a bit.” Rachel’s eyes filled with tears, and she blinked a couple of times, hoping to keep them at bay. Things were bad enough around here; she didn’t want any hard feelings between her and Dad.
“Jah, well, be careful what you say from now on.” Dad’s voice softened some. “We’ve lost one daughter to the world, and I don’t want my other kinner getting any such thoughts.” He turned toward the greenhouse, calling over his shoulder, “When you’re done with the laundry, I could use your help. We’re likely to have a lot more customers still today.”
Rachel grabbed a towel from the line and gave it a good snap. “Always trouble somewhere,” she mumbled.
***
When the back door opened and slammed shut, Rebekah looked up from where she sat at the table, rolling out the dough for an apple-crumb pie. Elizabeth rushed into the room, her clothes soaking wet, her long hair streaming down her back, and wearing such a scowl on her face.
“What’s with the long face, daughter? Did Perry get the best of you again?”
Elizabeth nodded, and her chin trembled slightly.
“Was it so bad that he made you cry?”
“No, Mom. It’s what Dad said to me, not anything Perry did this time.”
Rebekah swiveled her wheelchair so she was facing Elizabeth. “What’d your daed say that has you so upset?”
“He says there’s been enough talk about Anna, and he called Reuben wayward.” Elizabeth wrinkled her forehead. “What’s that mean, Mom?”
Rebekah motioned her daughter over to the table, then turned her wheelchair back around. “Have a seat, and I’ll try to explain things a bit.”
“Jah, okay.” Elizabeth pulled out a chair and plunked down, letting her elbows rest on the table. “So what’s wayward mean?”
“ Wayward means that someone’s kind of lost their way.”
“Reuben’s lost?”
“Sort of.”
“Does that mean Anna’s lost, too?”
Tears sprang to Rebekah’s eyes as she thought about the choice her firstborn child had made when she’d agreed to marry Reuben and leave the faith. She drew in a deep breath and released it with a huff that lifted the ties of her kapp. “Anna’s lost to us in many ways, because her decision to leave our church means we’ll have to shun her now.”
Elizabeth nodded soberly.
“But she’s still part of our family, and it will always be so.” Rebekah touched Elizabeth’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “No matter what happens in the days ahead, we’ll love her and accept her decision to go English the best way we can.”
“Dad, too?”
Rebekah swallowed around the burning lump pushing against the back of her throat. “Someday I hope he’ll come to grips with all this, but in the meantime, I think it’s best if we keep quiet about Anna whenever your daed’s around.”
“What’s gonna happen when Anna comes for a visit? Can we still talk to her like she’s our sister?”
“Jah, of course. She can’t share a meal at the same table with us, and we’re not supposed to have any business dealings with her, but there’s no rule that says we can’t talk to her.”
Elizabeth nodded. “Want me to help with the pie makin’ now?”
“As soon as you’ve changed out of those wet clothes and we get your hair put back in place.”
Elizabeth pushed away from the table and scurried out of the room. Rebekah resumed rolling out the mound of dough she’d left waiting on the cloth-covered table. Things would go better soon. At least she hoped they would.
***
“Ah-ha! So this is where you’ve been all morning.” Joseph squinted and shook his finger at his little brother, who stood in front of the horses’ watering trough, drenched with water from head to toe. “When I sent you back to the barn with one tired horse and asked you to bring another, I didn’t think you’d be gone for nearly an hour.”
Perry hung his head as he dragged the toe of his boot through the mud. “Sorry. I was hot, and Elizabeth came along, soon after I put Tom away—”
“The two of you decided to have a water battle, right?”
Perry lifted his head and gave Joseph a sheepish-looking grin. “You should have seen her, Joseph. She was so wet she looked like a drowned little hundel.”
Joseph bit back a smile. He could only imagine how much water must have been thrown at his little sister’s expense. She probably did look like a drowned pup.
“I didn’t just play in the water ’cause I was hot, neither.”
“Oh? What other reason might you have had?”
“When I came back from the fields with Tom, I spotted Elizabeth sitting on the back porch looking kind of sad.” Perry blinked a couple of times and lifted his chin. “She’s been awful gloomy since Anna left home, so I thought it might be good if I came up with something that would take her mind off Anna and make her laugh.”
�
�That’s admirable of you, Perry, but I didn’t send you out of the fields to get cooled off or to try to make Elizabeth feel better about missing Anna,” Joseph scolded. “I expected you to bring back a fresh horse, and you cost me nearly an hour’s worth of work waiting on you, so now we’ll have to stay in the fields that much longer.”
Perry frowned. “Ah, it’s summertime, Joseph. I oughta be able to have some fun, don’t ya think?”
“You can have all the fun you want when your work’s done for the day.”
“By that time, I’m too tired to do much of anything but sleep.”
Joseph ruffled his little brother’s hair. “Summer’s nearly over, and you’ll be back in school soon. Then you won’t have to work half as hard.”
“Jah, right. Besides all my chores to do at home, I have to work my tired brain takin’ all the tests Teacher Nancy gives us scholars.” Perry grunted. “It’s enough to make my head explode.”
Joseph chuckled. How his little brother liked to exaggerate. He pointed to the barn. “Time’s a-wasting, so let’s get that horse you came after and make our way back to the fields.”
“Jah, okay.”
As they headed for the barn, Perry glanced toward the greenhouse near the front of their property, and frowned. “Sure doesn’t seem right with Anna not helpin’ the folks in the greenhouse anymore, does it?”
Joseph gritted his teeth. Nothing seemed right at their place these days, and Dad seemed to be affected by Anna’s decision to go English most of all. Maybe it was because he was supposed to be the head of the family, and he felt as if he’d failed to live up to the job. Could be that Dad was more angry at himself than Anna. It might even be that he thought if he’d been a better father, Anna wouldn’t have been led astray by Reuben.
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