by Dash, Jayson
Cassandra just shook her head and said, “That’s a shame and I thought Larissa was bad when she first started out.”
“Don’t act like you’re a saint. We all had to start out at some point. Come on, when was your first time? Sex, I mean?”
“You already know. Remember?”
“No, I don’t, that’s why I’m asking you.”
Cassandra waited a beat and said, “Alright, but don’t judge me after I tell you.”
“I won’t. I’m your girl.”
Cassandra continued and said, “Well, it happened in high school, prom night to be exact. I was in love with this guy and we had been dating since we were in middle school and I just knew he was going to ask me to marry him one day, so I put a tiny hole in the condom and I got pregnant on purpose. I told him and he freaked out. We got into an argument and one thing lead to another and the next thing I know, I was falling down the stairs. I survived with no major injuries but the baby however didn’t make it. I felt like the worst person in the world for what I did.”
Sabrina could see that Cassandra’s eyes were bloodshot as tears rimmed her eyes. Sabrina reached out her hand and placed it on her shoulder.
“She said, “I’m sorry about that. How come you never told me about that before?”
“I don’t know,” said Cassandra as she wiped her eyes. “I just figured if I never told anyone about it that I could just pretend like it never happened. And we all are entitled to at least one secret, or at least I think so.”
“Oh, wow. I totally agree and I also think we are all entitled to a secret...or two.” She turned to her and asked, “Is that why you decided to be celibate?”
“Yeah, for the most part. It was hard the first few years and a few relapses later, I finally got the strength to resist all the sexual tension building up inside of me.”
“That takes some bravery to be able to do. And I don’t be look at your man or anything, but he is cute. How can you resist not wanting to fuck a man that fine?”
Cassandra chuckled and said, “It’s not that hard. Besides, he knows I’m celibate and he respects me that much more. Besides, sex isn’t really that big of a deal to me, since it’s been a while since I had some. But I know Chad will be worth the wait once we get married, when and if that ever happens.”
“I’m sure it will. It’s only a matter of time.”
“Sure is.” She paused and asked, “Do you think it will go that far with Brett?”
Sabrina though about it for the first time in a king time and it occurred to her that a part of her was hoping that someday she would be married to Brett, whether it be a few months or few years from now. But thought of it all made her want to take it all back, just for a split second when she realized how close she came with Carl and how that turned out.
She said to Cassandra, “Honestly, I don’t know. I want to believe it can happen, but at the same time I try to be genuine with myself and live in the present. Sometimes you get to the point where you don’t want to get your hopes up into thinking things are going to be great and end up putting your heart into something that was a total lie. I don’t want to go through that again.”
“Oh, Rina,” Cassandra said leaning over to Sabrina and wrapping an arm around her. “You have to stop doing that.”
“What?”
“Putting your guard up every time you think you’re getting too close to someone. You have to learn to let it go.”
“It’s not that easy, Cassandra. At least for me it isn’t.”
Cassandra stood up and said, “Rina, I know you saw that movie Waiting to Exhale, didn’t you?”
“Sure did, and I read the book.”
“Okay, then I’m sure you can relate to at least one of the characters. They were all going through something horrible and life-shattering but they learned to get through it.” She slipped on a pair of sunglasses, smiled and said, “And I know you remember the song Whitney Houston’s song, ‘Exhale,’ right?”
“Yeah…”
Cassandra laughed and said, “I think it’s time for you to exhale, Rina,” she said moments later.
“I know,” Sabrina said coolly, trying not to tear up. “Time to let it go.”
Chapter Twenty-One:
Out on the Town
So what are we waiting for again?” Sabrina asked Cassandra from across the table they had been sitting at for the past half hour waiting for Larissa’s arrival with their dates. What was supposed to be a nice night out on the town for Sabrina and Brett turned into a double date when Cassandra and Chad showed up at the same restaurant as Sabrina and Brett, so. Cassandra came up with the idea of a double date and being the nice person that she was, Sabrina couldn’t say no. They walked around the park for a little while and then they took pictures outside here and there of silly things and of each other.
After the sun went down they decided to have dinner together at a French bistro that was buzzing with rave reviews according to an article that Sabrina had read recently published in an issue in Fabulous and supposedly, it was very popular among A-list stars and had great food.
So technically she was there to review the restaurant and give feedback to everyone who read the magazine to bring new business and make them look good. And since Brett claimed he once dined out at the place a while back and was crazy about the food it wasn’t such a bad idea.
Up until half an hour ago they were having a good time until Larissa called Cassandra and told her that she had some news to spread and that it probably was a good idea for them to all sit down and chat for old time’s sake.
“Larissa just text messaged me and said she’s like five minutes away,” said Cassandra.
“I sure hope so,” Sabrina said coolly. “Hell, it’s getting late and I have a million things to do tomorrow.”
“Am I one of those things?” Brett asked with a big grin etched on his face.
Sabrina giggled and said, “Nice try but I doubt that’s going to happen.”
“Oh, just like that massage you promised me weeks ago? I suppose that’s not going to happen either, huh?”
“Ooh, what massage?” Cassandra chimed in nosily.
Sabrina turned to her and said, “The one I promised him after he beat me at tennis that time we played. I forgot all about it.”
“Well, remember what I told you not too long ago? You need to—”
“Exhale,” Sabrina said, completing her sentence for her. “I know. But was does that have to do with anything?”
“It has everything to do with it,” Cassandra said coolly. “It’s all a part of the process.”
“And what process is that?”
“Do I have to spell it out for you?” Cassandra tilted her head to the side.
Sabrina knew what she was thinking and instantly felt an urge to scream at Cassandra but another part of her didn’t. It wasn’t like it was obvious to that she was trying to admit to herself that she was falling in love with Brett and just about everyone, well, at least Cassandra, could see it but Sabrina and she wasn’t so sure if Brett was on the same page as she was. And the whole “Exhale” thing wasn’t helping her feel any better. Hell, she knew she sucked at showing affection and wearing her emotions on her sleeve but it was just something she learned to live with. And most of the times when she put herself out there she wound up getting hurt. But with Brett, she knew he was different. And he was definitely a keeper.
So, she smiled at Cassandra and literally exhaled, loud enough for Cassandra to hear, and said, “Nope, you don’t have to spell it out. I get it.”
“Get what?” asked Brett and Chad at once.
Sabrina and Cassandra both exploded with laughter and echoed, “Nothing.”
Cassandra took a sip from her glass of wine and asked, “Um, Brett, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Okay, well, you know how they say that black men have, uh, big packages and white men, well, y’all aren’t so blessed. Or so I heard. Is it true?”
“Cassandra, I cannot believe you just asked him that,” said Sabrina.
“What?” Cassandra laughed. “I just want to know.”
Brett laughed and said, “It’s cool.” He paused and said, “Uh, I don’t know about all white guys, but I have heard that I’m bigger than average.”
“How big is it?”
Sabrina shot a glance at Cassandra and all she did was pretend like she didn’t notice.
“What?” she said coyly. “It’s not like I have a bunch of white girls that I hang out with who I can ask about the size of their boyfriend’s penis. Jeez.”
“You do not have to answer that,” Sabrina said to Brett.
He just laughed and sipped his wine innocently.
“Okay, can we change the subject before I lose my appetite?” said Chad. “All this talk about male parts is making me nauseous.”
“I second that,” said Sabrina. “And where the hell is Larissa”
“I’m here,” a familiar voice said from behind Sabrina. She turned around and saw Larissa was walking towards their table on the patio. It was dim with the low lights but Sabrina could see that there was something different about Larissa.
She stood in front of their table with her back turned to them and said, “Well, I guess it’s about time I came out and let ya’ll know what’s been going on with me lately and why I’ve been so secretive and acting like a crazy bitch.”
Sabrina and Cassandra exchanged empty looks and looked back at Larissa.
She turned around, opened up her jacket and revealed a huge baby bump that looked like she was ready to burst.
“Oh my god!” squealed Sabrina at once as she damn near jumped out of her seat. “I knew you were pregnant!”
“Wow, this is huge,” said Cassandra. She got up as well and walked over to Larissa and put a hand on her huge belly. “Just tell us, how far are you?”
Larissa smiled and said, “Five months.”
“Stop lying, Larissa,” said Sabrina. “You’re not five months pregnant already. You can’t be.”
“Yes I am,” Larissa said coolly. “And guess what else?”
“What?” asked Sabrina and Cassandra in unison.
“I’m having twins; a girl and a boy.”
Sabrina and Cassandra both jumped up and down with excitement at the news.
Larissa beamed and said, “I hope I’m not interrupting anybody’s date or anything.”
“Not at all,” said Sabrina. “I’ll get you a chair and you can join us.”
A few moments later they were sitting down and Larissa was surprisingly all smiles while explaining why she waited so long to gush about her pregnancy.
“Well,” said Larissa, “At first I was ashamed. And plus y’all kept hounding me and shit and I wanted to wait until I thought it was the best time to tell y’all. And I knew somebody was going to find out eventually. And I didn’t want y’all to judge me like I’m some knocked up slut.”
“You are a slut,” Cassandra blurted out playfully.
“Hell, I’m not a complete slut. It wasn’t my fault the stupid guy broke the fucking condom.”
“True,” said Sabrina. “At least you were smart enough to protect yourself, at least that time.”
“Yeah, sadly. I haven’t told anyone else yet. I’m still trying to wrap my around the fact that I’m pregnant. It’s weird.”
“Don’t worry about it, Larissa. We’re here for you,” Cassandra said. “You’ll be okay.”
Larissa smiled for a second and moments later it vanished when she saw Brett. She rolled her eyes and asked Sabrina, “What the hell is he doing here?”
“He’s with me,” said Sabrina. “Is that a problem?”
“Yeah, it is. I can’t believe you’re still dating this loser. Honestly, what do you see in this guy?”
Sabrina’s voice rose slightly when she said, “I see that he’s not narrow-minded and rude like you are.”
“Oh, so now you’re calling me a racist? Just ‘casue I don’t like your punk ass boyfriend you want to call me a racist? That’s fucked up, Rina.”
“Whatever, Larissa. I just don’t get it. Why can’t you just accept the fact that I like him?”
“I don’t know. I can’t help the fact that every time I turn on the damn news I hear about some crazy ass white guy that went ballistic on his girlfriend ‘cause of some silly shit and then the bitch either turn up missing or dead.” She began to tear up and continued, “Hell, maybe I care about you and don’t want that shit to happen to you. I couldn’t live with myself if something like that happened to you. You my girl, Sabrina and…” She trailed off and began sobbing with her hands covering her face.
Sabrina’s jaw dropped and she suddenly found it impossible to speak and tell Larissa…tell her what? Tell her that she finally understood why she was being so bitchy because she was trying to protect her?
“Aww, Larissa, I didn’t know that’s how you felt,” Sabrina said compassionately. “But Brett is a really nice guy once you get to know whim like I do. He’s not like those other guys. Trust me.”
Larissa sniffled and said, “Oh my God. This is why I hate being pregnant; these fucking hormones are driving me up the wall along with these fucking mood swings. I wish I never fucked with that guy, even though it was supposed to have been a one-night stand. Shit, I’m a knocked-up-hot-fucking-mess!”
She began to sob again and Sabrina and Cassandra embraced her tightly.
“You are a hot mess, but if you think about it, you only have what, four more months left?”
Larissa sobbed harder.
“Damn, Cassandra. You’re supposed to be consoling her, not making her feel like shit.”
“Well, sorry. I’ve never dealt with a pregnant chick before. This is all new to me.”
“I need to go to the restroom ‘cause my bladder is on overdrive right now,” Larissa said a moment or so later.
They excused themselves from the table and went to the ladies’ room so Larissa could handle her business and they could freshen up some.
“So, how does it feel to be pregnant?” Sabrina asked Larissa after she finished and was washing her hands.
“I can’t put it into words. It’s weird.”
“Can I feel it kick?” asked Cassandra excitedly.
“It’s not it, it’s them,” corrected Sabrina. “Twins, remember?”
“Ouch!” complained Larissa. “One of those little bastards just kicked me.”
Sabrina laughed. “Do you have to be so crass?”
“Yeah. I’m not married now, nor do I ever plan to. I like being single and having options.”
“See, that’s why I’m not giving up this good stuff until I get married. I’m not ready for no ‘mistakes’ to happen to me,” said Cassandra.
“I honestly don’t see how you can go a day without having sex when your man is perfectly capable, not to mention good looking. Don’t you ever get horny?” asked Larissa.
“Yes I do,” said Cassandra. “I take care of that problem with my collection of sex toys. I got this new luxury vibrator yesterday and it’s awesome. You should try it.”
“Hell nah,” said Larissa. “I prefer the real thing.”
“I second that,” said Sabrina. “There’s no feeling in the world like a warm, hard muscled body on top of you plowing away and taking you to ecstasy. God, I’m getting horny just thinking about it.”
“Oh, shut up, whore,” Cassandra teased and gave Sabrina a gentle tap on her shoulder. “You just saying that ‘cause you got lucky and found a white boy that’s bigger than life.”
“Hold up. Say that again,” said Larissa. “Who’s got a big what?”
“You heard right. Brett is definitely big— and I’m not talking about average either.”
Larissa chuckled and said, “Please, stop before I start feeling nauseas.” She paused and covered her mouth with her hand. “Ah, shit, too late,” she said as he raced to a nearby stall and began throwing up.
“
My bad,” Sabrina said in between giggles.
“What a mess,” Cassandra said momentarily while reaching into her purse to retrieve her cell phone. She flipped it open and said, “Chad, I’m almost done and I’ll be out in a minute.” She turned to Sabrina and said, “I’ll catch you and Larissa in a few. My man is getting lonely.”
“Okay.”
After a Cassandra disappeared from the bathroom Larissa finished up and washed her mouth out in the sink. She pulled out a stick of gum and began chewing it. She rolled her eyes at her reflection in the mirror and said, “I hate being pregnant.”
“Don’t worry it gets better…or so I heard.”
Larissa grabbed her purse off of the counter. “Shit, I hope so.”
Sabrina smiled and said, “It will.”
They returned to their table and finished their dinner. Larissa left early to get some rest and Cassandra and Chad decided to call it a night as well and head home. So Sabrina and Brett had the rest of the night to do whatever. Sabrina was open to anything so Brett thought it was a good idea to for a walk on the Strip in South Beach. The night was just about perfect. They stopped and got ice cream and sat down. Their peace was interrupted when a group of guys came out of the ice cream shop and made a weird look towards Sabrina as she fed Brett a taste of her ice cream. Then the drama started.
Out of the corner of her eye, Sabrina could see this one guy giving her a dirty look. He wasn’t dumb enough to say anything, but another guy in his clique was.
“That’s nasty,” the guy said aloud, but not directly to Sabrina and Brett.
“Excuse me,” Said Sabrina. “Were you talking to me?”
The guy who made the comment who was wearing an oversized Jordan T-shirt and saggy pants stopped talking to his friends and walked over to Sabrina. “Yeah, I was.”
Sabrina put her ice cream down and stood up. “Do you have a problem with me or something?”
“Yeah, I do.”
Brett stood up and stood next to Sabrina. “Look, we don’t want any trouble. C’mon, Sabrina let’s just go.”
“Hold up. We are going to settle this right here,” said Sabrina. “’Cause I don’t appreciate that little comment you made earlier. What was so nasty that made you and your little homeboys stop and stare like y’all never seen two people kiss before?”
