by Olivia James
"It's my mom and stepfather," Shaw said. They turned the corner to her street. Was it too late to turn around and go elsewhere? Probably. "I'm not going to tell them about the video."
"Then I won't either," Luke promised. "I'll take my cues from you."
"You can say anything you want, just don't tell them about the video. I don't want my mother to have a stroke. Even a pretend one."
Julia had thought several times that she was having a stroke or a heart attack because of something that Shaw had done or said. In reality, she was as healthy as a horse.
"Can I ask you a question? Do they do this a lot? Just show up at your house without calling or anything?"
"Yes," she answered promptly and with a heavy sigh. "And I hate it. I keep telling her that they need to call or text, but she insists that she's my mother and that this is normal. Is it normal?"
Pulling into the driveway next to her parents' car, Luke could only shrug. "I don't know what's normal. I only know that my family is big on calling first, but that could just be us. Have you asked your friends? I could ask some of mine."
"I have. Most of them say that it's not normal but a few say that it is. I think it might be family specific. Either way, my mom is standing on my front lawn."
More specifically, Julia was standing in the middle of Shaw's front lawn, her hands on her hips, and wearing a scowl. She wasn't happy.
Tough, Mom. I'm not happy today either. You need to wait your turn.
Julia must have found out her key didn't work anymore. Luke and Ryan had changed the locks on the house because of the stalker. The fact that Shaw's mother couldn't just let herself in whenever she wanted was a bonus.
"Gird your loins," Shaw joked as she pushed open the car door. "This isn't going to be pleasant."
"I've got your back."
He might but he'd never come up against Shaw's mother. She had a way of twisting everything until it didn't resemble anything even remotely real.
Julia stomped up to Shaw and pulled her into a hug. "Shaw, we were worried sick. Where have you been? And why doesn't my key work?"
Shaw held up her paper coffee cup and the half-eaten muffin. "We went to get a bite of breakfast. Mom, what are you doing here?"
"I'm here to see you, of course. Oliver and I are looking at a house a few neighborhoods over and we wanted you to see it with us. It has a lovely mother-in-law suite that would be perfect for you."
Not today. I can't take this today.
"I am not moving out of my house, Mother. That wouldn't make any sense."
Shaw tried to keep her tone level and friendly, but it was no use. She sounded shaky and pissed off. Which she was. But Mom didn't need to know that. Thank goodness, Julia wasn't noticing anything about Shaw this morning, too into her own drama.
"It's not safe for you here. Your home was broken into."
"I don't think that's a good enough reason to sell my house. We talked about this, remember? And that's why your key doesn't work. We changed the locks."
Shaw opened the front door so they could all go inside out of the chilly weather.
"I can make coffee," she offered. "Or some iced tea."
Julia was in no mood for refreshments. Apparently, she'd climbed out of her bed and decided to make life difficult for her daughter today.
"I still think that you should stay with us for awhile, Shaw," her mother said, giving the back door a disdainful look. "I won't be able to eat or sleep worrying about you."
There it was. The gauntlet. Julia had thrown it down like so many times before.
Will I crumble like always?
Will I let my own mother be miserable by not giving in?
Shaw glanced at Luke who, frankly, looked like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was. She didn't blame him. She'd like to be somewhere else too.
She'd had so many conversations with Melissa, Taylor, and now Luke as well. Ryan too. She certainly knew what she'd tell someone writing into her channel about this problem.
I have an issue with boundaries.
That's my problem and it's fixable.
My mother's issues aren't my problem though. Only she can change those.
Taking a deep breath, Shaw steeled herself for the storm to come.
"I am not going to stay with you, Mother. I am a grown woman."
Although sometimes I have to remind myself.
"A grown woman who would allow her own mother to be sad and tortured," Julia said, a plaintive tone in her voice. "I can't believe my own daughter cares so little for me."
Shaw was standing on the brink, her entire body quivering on the edge of the cliff. She was this close to jumping off and giving into her mother. She'd done it so many times. What would one more be? It was always easier in the moment to give Julia whatever she wanted. To make her happy. Those rare times that Shaw had stood her ground she'd paid for it eventually. Julia would go silent for days or even weeks, refusing to return texts, calls, or emails. She'd complain to her sisters or cousins about what a horrible daughter she had, prompting family to contact Shaw and let her know how much she'd hurt her mother. It was a merry go round that she wasn't anxious to jump on and ride.
At some point, Luke had moved to Shaw's side and had placed an arm around her shoulders. Calm and strength radiated from his person and it gave her just enough strength to hold her ground.
"I love you, Mother, but I'm not going to run home every time life gets messy or difficult. I'm sorry that you worry but I hope that by now you know you can trust me to make good decisions."
Shaw had placed it all back on her parent. If Julia said that Shaw couldn't be trusted to do the right thing, that would call into question the parenting she had received. No way was Julia going to say that she hadn't been a good role model.
"I never said that," Julia deflected. "I said that I'll worry sick about you. Don't you care?"
If Shaw thought for one moment that her mother would truly not eat or sleep, she might have relented then and there. But experience had told her differently.
"I love you, Mom, and of course I care about you."
The spindly little twig fence that Shaw had built was wavering in the breeze. A good gust of wind could knock it down, but she had to believe that this boundary would hold.
Don't explain myself. Don't try and justify my behavior. Just stick to my guns.
It helped that Luke stood by her side, not jumping in to help her or explain how safe she was. He trusted her. He trusted that she could deal with this on her own.
I can.
"Well–then–I don't understand you," Julia sputtered, her cheeks pink. "You need to listen to me, Shaw. I'm your mother."
"The decision has been made."
Shaw's voice was far too quivery. She needed to toughen up.
"What did you say?"
Julia looked outraged.
"I said that the decision has been made."
This time Shaw sounded better, far more firm. Confident even.
I can do this. I'm doing it.
Julia burst into tears and ran from the room. So much for confident and cool.
"Shaw, you need to go after your mother and talk to her. She's very upset."
Oliver's tone was full of reproach. Even his expression said he was incredibly disappointed in her. How could she fix this and keep her boundaries intact?
It was time to find out.
Shaw had followed her mother somewhere down the hall, probably the bathroom, leaving Luke standing in the kitchen with her stepfather Oliver. To say it was awkward would be an understatement. They both just stood there sort of looking at each other, not really knowing what to say.
The fact was Luke had a hell of a lot to say about the behavior of Shaw's mother who had no hesitation to play the guilt card when she didn't get her way. That shit wouldn't fly in the house that he'd grown up in. It would have been called out and squashed the first time she'd tried it but clearly she'd been playing on Shaw's sympathies, and probably Oliver's to
o, for a long time since she was currently throwing a tantrum a toddler would be proud of.
But he wasn't going to say any of it. It wasn't his damn business. If Shaw wanted his help she'd ask. Until then, he was simply a bystander. Honestly, he hoped that he'd misunderstood and everything he thought about her mother wasn't true. He'd love to have Shaw say that Julia never pulled anything like this and it was the first time ever.
"She's just trying to look out for her daughter," Oliver finally said with a small smile. "Julia is a devoted mother. She loves Shaw more than anything in the world."
Then why is she making her miserable?
"I'm sure that she does."
But Oliver wasn't done. He appeared to want to make it even more weird between them.
"We shouldn't come between a mother and her child. That's a sacred bond."
"I would never do that."
"You did, though. Installing this security system keeps Shaw from moving back with Julia."
Luke counted to ten before he replied. He'd been trying to stay out of this but they were determined to drag him into the middle.
"Shaw isn't a child. She's a grown woman who can make her own decisions. I'm not making those for her. She wanted to stay in her home and I've simply helped her do that."
He didn't mention that he had some of the same equipment at his own home.
"Do you have children, Luke?"
"No, I don't."
"Then you don't understand."
That was a possibility. Luke had never traversed these waters with anyone he'd dated. He wasn't a parent. He was Shaw's friend, and in that capacity he would stand by her.
Until she told him not to anymore.
He had a feeling that she wasn't going to come back in the kitchen a happy woman.
Julia was sitting on the side of the bathtub, sniffling and blowing her nose although no tears had actually fallen down her face. She wouldn't like her makeup getting messed with.
Shaw was leaning on the bathroom vanity trying desperately to convince her mother that what she was doing was totally normal. Grown children were supposed to live their own lives and make their own way in the world.
That statement had gone over like a lead balloon.
"It's him, isn't it?" Julia said, dabbing a tissue around her eyes. "It's that man. The reason you don't want to come home with me is that you're living with him."
"I'm not living with him, Mom. I live here."
"Then he's staying here," Julia said, accusation in her tone. "He's the one standing in the way. He's here so you don't have to go anywhere, right?"
"Even if Luke wasn't in my life, I wouldn't move home," Shaw replied truthfully. "I'm grown up and I've flown the nest. I have a great job that I love and a nice home. I want you to be proud of me, Mom, of the things that I've achieved."
"I've never said I wasn't proud of you. Of course, I'm proud of you. You're smart and talented and you could do so much more with your career if you really wanted to. You could go back and get your PhD."
Shaw was planning to do that eventually but not this week. Her mother, however, never missed an opportunity to bring this topic up.
"I know you hate my career, but I enjoy it."
"I don't hate it. I just think you could do better."
"It's what I've chosen to do. For now, at least."
Julia looked up at her, her expression almost angry. "And my opinion doesn't count?"
It's what Shaw had been trying to say for a long time now but in a nice way. Her mother wasn't going to let her though.
"You got to make your own decisions when you were my age. Now it's my turn."
"That's not true," Julia protested, shaking her head. "I made my decisions based on what was best for you. I always thought about you."
"Then this is your time to have what you want," Shaw pressed. "You don't have to make decisions based on me anymore. I can take care of myself. Go have fun with Oliver. Travel, make friends, get a cat. Get two cats. Live your life. What have you always wanted to do, Mom? There has to be something that you've always dreamed of."
"I don't want a cat, and I have friends. I travel and have fun. Is it so awful to want you to be a part of all of that?"
"No, but I can't always do all the things that you want me to do when you want me to do them."
Julia nodded toward the door. "Like him? You're busy with him. You know, men don't respect a woman that's too easy, Shaw. You should take things more slowly with him."
"Mom, we're not getting anywhere with this. I think we disagree on the basic premise of this discussion. I need to be independent and to be living my own life. That doesn't mean that I don't love you, it means that I'm trying to make my own way in the world. It means that I need to stand on my own two feet and make my own decisions."
"Of course, you need to be independent. But that doesn't mean that you can't take advice," Julia replied. "That we can't discuss your life."
Shaw took a deep breath. This wasn't going well.
"When we talk about my life, you make me feel like I have to do things your way."
"I'm older than you, Shaw. You should make use of my wisdom."
"I want to make my own mistakes."
Taking a shuddering breath, Julia stood and shoved the tissue into her purse. "If you're going to be stubborn and short-sighted then I don't think we have much more to say here. I'm going home. I can only hope that you think about this conversation and realize how much you're hurting me."
Shaw opened her mouth to say she was sorry, a reflexive apology that she usually said every time she was in the same room with Julia. She’d apologized all the time even for things that weren't her fault. But this time... This time she snapped her mouth shut.
In truth, she didn't think she'd done anything wrong. She'd tried to be nice about all of this but clearly that wasn't working. Julia wanted to insert herself into every aspect of Shaw's life. Shaw, on the other hand, wanted to make her own decisions and live independently. Someone was bound to come out of the situation disappointed.
As she followed her mother down the hall toward the kitchen and living room, Shaw knew one thing for sure.
This wasn't over. Her mother wasn't going to give up without a fight. This was only round one. Shaw might have found her backbone, but it was going to be tested to its limits.
19
Shaw's mother and stepfather finally left, leaving her and Luke alone. He hadn't said much and neither did she, to be honest. What was there to say? She sucked at putting up boundaries, and he'd been there to witness the debacle.
Big deal...she'd shored up her defenses and stuck to her guns. Today. What would happen tomorrow? Or the next day? Julia wasn't going to go quietly. Her mother was regrouping at the moment, figuring out what other buttons she could push to get her way.
And Luke? He must think that her family was incredibly dysfunctional - which was the truth - and questioning whether he really wanted to be involved with her at all. She wouldn't blame him if he wanted to run away far and fast.
It had taken quite a bit of persuading to get him to go to work and leave her here at the house all alone. He'd finally left but only after she'd assured him that it was broad daylight and nothing bad was going to happen to her. He'd relented but he hadn't been happy about it. He'd promised to take her out tonight to help her forget what a crappy day she was having.
And then there was the whole Vegas trip. She wanted to go but she didn't want to feel like she'd been chased away. She wanted to go and be able to let her hair down, have some fun. She wanted to be able to leave her worries behind and get to know this amazing man a little better.
Later she'd ended up in the spare bedroom that she used as a studio to film content for her channel. For a few hours, she was able to forget all her problems and get lost in her work. It felt good to be productive and somewhat normal. It was lunchtime when she took a break to get something to eat, her stomach growling loudly.
A cursory inspection of her cabinet
s and refrigerator had her microwaving a frozen dinner. It wasn't what she really wanted but it would have to do. She was almost finished eating when her phone began to chime with text after text. She thumbed the screen and her stomach clenched painfully at what she saw.
Another unknown number. Brand new since she'd blocked the last one that had sent the video.
This time it was message after message about how she was ignoring him and who did she think she was. Clearly, he was furious at being ignored and he promised retribution if she didn't contact him. Basically, bad shit was going to happen unless she talked to him.
It looks like bad things are going to happen then.
Shaw had to admit that it was tempting to hit the reply button. It would be so easy to give him what he wanted. Reply and tell him to leave her alone. It would only take a moment. But it wasn't the answer. It would only make the situation far worse than it already was. Replying to any of this would be the worst thing she could do.
She had to sort of laugh about it though - in a completely non-funny way. Once again, it was all about having boundaries. It was certainly the day for her to practice building them, first with her mother and then with her stalker. If this went on much longer, she was going to be a damn expert.
To keep herself from texting him back, she deliberately placed her phone out of reach and on her charger. Out of sight, out of mind. She'd already saved the messages to her folder of communications so she'd blocked this new number as well.
She headed back into the kitchen to clean up the remains of her lunch, but her phone chimed again. This time it was an alert from her security app. Someone had pulled into her driveway. The car wasn't familiar but the man that stepped out of it was. Eric Bishop - her ex. What on earth was he doing here? Didn’t he get the hint that she didn't want to see him? She hadn't replied to any of his texts.
This was the worst part about some unknown human being stalking her. It made her suspicious and wary. Now she was wondering whether Eric was as harmless as she'd originally thought. Was it a coincidence that he'd appeared after she wouldn't reply to any texts? It probably was but she couldn't be sure. Not anymore. Everyone was a suspect and she hated that.
