UNTIL HIM
VICTORIA ASHLEE
Copyright © 2020 by Victoria Sams
WWW.VICTORIAASHLEE.COM
Dedication
To my love,
Thank you for letting me
have meltdowns during this process,
and loving me anyway.
UNTIL THEN SERIES
UNTIL THEN
UNTIL HER
UNTIL HIM
Table of Contents
UNTIL HIM
Copyright
Dedication
UNTIL THEN SERIES
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Chapter Twenty Two
Chapter Twenty Three
Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Five
Chapter Twenty Six
Chapter Twenty Seven
Chapter Twenty Eight
Chapter Twenty Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty One
Chapter Thirty Two
Chapter Thirty Three
Chapter Thirty Four
Chapter Thirty Five
Chapter Thirty Six
Chapter Thirty Seven
Chapter Thirty Eight
Chapter One
Stefan
I’ve never experienced what Sophia is going through, I can’t begin to comprehend it. She’s not only had to endure this once, but now twice. It’s been three days since she got the call. She hasn’t left my room since I brought her home from Cam’s.
The first night she was quiet, she barely made a noise. I tucked her into bed and she slept the entire next day. The second night was the worst. She wouldn’t stop crying. She cried so much that she made herself sick. She refused to eat anything. I could barely get water in her. Today is the third day; she’s still asleep in my room. Not much has changed, but she’s not crying anymore. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad sign.
My gracious Nan has been handling the affairs of the funeral. Sophia refused to even acknowledge me when I asked her what she wanted to do. The funeral was set for Saturday, and I somehow had to get Sophia onto a plane. That was going to be far from easy to accomplish.
A knock on the front door made me push my thoughts away. I got up off of the sofa to see who it was. Timing couldn’t be worse for someone to stop by. I couldn’t really be bothered right now. My defense relaxed when I saw Joe standing in front of me with a paper bag.
Joe held up the bag, “I thought you could use some food.”
“Thanks.” I opened the door wider, “Come on in.”
“How is she doing?” He asked as he walked in.
I took the bag from him, “She still won’t leave my room.”
“I hate that this happened to her.”
“Me too,” I walked into the kitchen to set the bag down. “Take a seat. Would you like something to drink?”
“I’m fine.” He sat down in the middle of the long sofa. “How are you doing? Have you slept?”
“If by shutting my eyes for ten minutes counts? Then yes.” I sat down on the arm rest of the chair. “I can’t sleep knowing she might wake up and need me.”
“Have they found out what happened?”
“Another car ran her off the road; the person who did it was her Mum’s scum of the earth ex, who I threw out of the house when we were there last.”
“Does she know that’s who did it?”
“No.” I stood and walked across the room to the window. “I don’t have the heart to tell her yet. It’ll break her all over again.”
Sophia
A small tear fell onto my cheek. I was sitting half way up the first set of stairs. They couldn’t see me; if they did they wouldn’t tell me the things that I just heard. Stefan was afraid to tell me that Mark was the one who crashed my Mom’s car. You would think it would send me into more of a spiral than I was already falling in, but I didn’t feel anything when he said it. Just a simple tear fell, I still felt numb.
I retreated back up the stairs into Stefan’s room. My fingers ran through my greasy hair, as much as I wanted to climb back into bed I forced myself to shower. I slipped out of the same clothes that I’ve had on for three days. Stefan put these on me the first night when I wouldn’t respond to anything. I tossed them onto the floor and stepped into the hot water.
There’s something about a shower that makes you vulnerable. Maybe it’s because you’re standing there naked or maybe because through the falling water your tears are hidden. We’re so accustomed to hiding our pain that we wait until we’re alone in our most vulnerable state to show only ourselves how much pain we are actually in. I sat down on the shower floor under the rushing water and pulled my knees to my chest, my forehead resting on my knees, hiding my face. The tears returned and I couldn’t stop them.
Stefan
“She will get through this.” Joe said leaning forward.
“Everyone keeps saying that,” I turned around, “What you don’t know is that she watched her father die in a car accident. She was with him. This is her biggest fear come to life. How do you live through your biggest fear? I don’t know how to help her.”
“There are moments in our lives when the only way to help someone you love is to simply do that, love them.”
“Do nothing? Just sit by while she’s in pain?”
“Anything you do can never take her pain away.”
I sat down next to him, “I always have a plan. I’ve always been ten steps ahead of everything. This…” I leaned back, “this you cannot plan ahead.”
“No you cannot.” He shifted next to me. “When is the funeral?”
“Saturday,” I exhaled a loud breath. “And I somehow have to get her onto a plane.”
“You think it will be that hard?”
“Yes.”
“Then you should make it as less stressful for her as you can.”
“I know.”
I leaned forward, “How’s your new business going?”
“It’s going well. It’s the craziest thing, your family hasn’t stepped foot near it.”
“That’s because you’re no longer leverage.”
“Exactly.”
“It’s sad that we both talk as if that’s normal.”
He laughed, “Your family is far from normal.”
“Tell me about it.” I stood up again; I’ve been having the hardest time sitting still. There’s so much on my mind and I felt as if I was doing nothing to make things better. “My family wants me to attend a charity ballet in a few weeks.”
“You don’t want to go?”
“Things with my parents have been rough; More than our usual tension.”
“Then don’t go.”
“The thing is that my Nan is attending. She hasn’t been to an event in many years.”
“Why is she going?”
“She wouldn’t tell me.”
“Hmm…sounds to me like you have to go.”
“I won’t go if Sophia isn’t ready. She’s my first priority.”
“I’d say that’s pretty justif
iable.”
“If my Nan needed me there, she would tell me.”
Joe stood from the sofa, “I probably should get going and you probably should go check on Sophia.”
I shook his hand, “Thank you for coming. I’ll let her know you stopped by. It’ll mean a lot to her. She really looks up to you.”
He smiled a half smile, “She’s a good girl. If you two need anything, call me.”
“I will.” I said. Joe nodded goodbye, shutting the door behind himself.
The house went quiet again with the shut of the door; except my ears caught the sound of running water going through the house. I made my way upstairs to check on Sophia. When I opened my bedroom door, I could hear the sound of the shower running. Then I heard her through the noise of the rushing water. Low sobs every few seconds.
The mirror had fogged up; my heart sank when I saw her. She was curled up on the shower floor as the water fell. She didn’t even flinch when I walked into the room. Her sobs just kept coming. I stepped closer to the shower, kneeling down, placing my hand on her back.
I instantly pulled my hand back, “What the hell, the water is ice cold.” I reached up to turn it off.
“Stop,” She looked up at my hand, her eyes were bloodshot. “Just leave me.” She put her head back into her knees. “Leave me here.” She choked out, another whimper.
I looked down at my beautiful broken girl, and didn’t know how to make her better. Love her. I just have to love her. I braced myself for what I was about to do, I kicked off my shoes, not taking the time to remove my clothes, and then stepped into the icy water. I sat down behind her, pulling her in between my legs, then wrapped my arms around the small ball that she had become. She leaned into me, but kept her head down. Her crying progressed. We stayed in the shower for what seemed like forever.
Eventually she fell asleep from exhaustion. I was able to turn the water off and move her to my bed. I dried her off as best as I could, then wrapped her tightly in my duvet. She barely woke up when I moved her. She didn’t have any effort left in her.
I walked over to the window seat, pulling my vibrating phone out of my pocket. A text message came through from Cam, checking on Sophia. We decided to not tell Keira or Leo until they returned from their honeymoon. Cam and I both knew Keira well enough that she would be on the first flight here. They needed to enjoy their time together.
I rested my head against the wall, stretching out my legs along the window seat. My phone lit up again. Part of me wanted to toss it out the window. The amount of texts I’ve received from people sending their condolences was astounding. Many of the texts were from people who couldn’t tell you what state Sophia came from. Kevin, Sophia’s friend from work, called yesterday. It was her phone he called, but I answered because I knew she would want me to.
I looked to see who texted me. Of all people it was Jess. “I just heard.” I went to set my phone down. Before I did, it lit up once again. This time it was my Mum. I hesitated answering it, then clenched my jaw and got up to walk out of the room.
“Yes?” I answered lowly, quietly shutting my bedroom door, leaving just a crack open.
“Stefan…”
“Yes, Mum. What do you need?”
“I was just told,” she paused, “about Sophia’s Mother.”
I let out a sarcastic laugh, “You and Jess must be in close conversation, because she suddenly was just told as well.”
“Does it matter how I found out?”
I remained quiet, still not knowing why she was calling.
“How is she?”
“She’s fine.” I lied, glancing through the crack of my door at my sleeping girl.
She let out a small hum, “I understand. You don’t have to tell me. I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do for her.”
“Why the sudden change of heart? Typically, she’s the last person you want in the same room as you.”
She didn’t speak for a few seconds, “Losing a parent is something you can only understand once you have experienced it yourself. I didn’t lose my father the same way, I had many years with him, but the pain is the same.”
I let her words sink in, they seemed genuine. My Mum usually has ulterior motives, but I could see nothing behind this. “There is actually something you could do.”
“What do you need?” I could hear a spark of happiness in her voice from the thought of me needing her.
“It’s more of not what you could do, more of what you could arrange. I don’t have the time to do it.”
“Sweetheart, I could move mountains.”
Chapter Two
Stefan
Friday arrived. Sophia was still out of it. She did eat half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich yesterday. I guess that’s a start in the right direction. However I think today and tomorrow might take her ten steps backwards. She’s been watching Christmas movies nonstop since last night. I didn’t dare ask why Christmas movies, because I was happy she was doing anything else but crying.
We had a few hours before our flight to Nebraska. I had packed her bag and mine. Her eyes followed me every now and then from the closet to our bags at the foot of the bed. She wouldn’t say anything; she would just hunker down further into the blanket on top of her. I think she was trying to suppress the fact that she had to get on a plane today. I wasn’t looking forward to forcing her to do it either.
The doorbell chimed, I didn’t know who could possibly be stopping by today. I looked at Sophia before I walked down stairs. She was still snuggled up under the covers, not fazed by our surprise guest.
I looked through the peephole and saw the last person I would want to see. I clenched my jaw and opened the door. “Yes?”
“Hey,” Tristen said, apparently uncomfortable. “I just wanted to see how she was doing.”
“This is the worst day you could have stopped by, and you are the last person I would let see her right now.”
He laughed, “Are you her keeper now?”
“If you knew the state she was in, you’d filter who gets to see her too.”
He ran his hand over his mouth, “Can you just tell her I stopped by?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Look I didn’t want to come to your house either, but this is where she lives and I care about her.”
“I’m going to need you to stop doing that.”
“Stop what?”
“Caring.”
“That’s going to be a hard pass. You should feel happy that other people take interest in her. It means she won’t fall on her face when you screw up.”
“You need to leave.” I said dryly. I wasn’t about to get in a fight with him while she’s upstairs.
“Fine.” He started down the stairs.
“One more thing, she doesn’t need someone to catch her if she falls. She’s stronger than that.”
He looked up at me from the sidewalk then walked over to his car without saying anything. I let the door shut, and released my tense jaw.
What did he think was going to happen when he showed up? That I was just going to let him in my house? After what he said at the wedding I didn’t want him anywhere near her.
Sophia was sitting at the foot of my bed with her legs hanging off the side. The TV was turned off and she was staring at the floor, deep in thought.
“What’s wrong?” I knelt down in front of her.
She looked into my eyes, “Who was at the door?”
“It was no one. Don’t worry about it.” I brushed her hair out of her face.
She cleared her throat, “Who was it?”
“I…” I froze; I didn’t know what to say. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re ok.”
“It was Tristen wasn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“I thought that was his voice.” She sighed, “I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to see anyone.” She curled back up on the bed.
I stood and walked next to her, “I know you don’t want to see anyon
e, but we have to leave soon.”
Her eyes started to water as she stared at me, “I don’t want to go.”
“You’ll regret not going.”
“I don’t have to go if I don’t want to. It’s my Mom.” She snapped; more tears came. She sat up to face me more straight on. “Once I get there, that makes it real.” Her voice broke, “That makes this not a nightmare. Then she will actually be gone from my life, and I will be alone.”
I wiped the tears falling off of her face, “I will be right next to you. You’re not alone.”
She pulled away from me, “You don’t understand.”
“I’m trying.”
She looked up at me, studying my face, then shut her eyes tightly, taking in a deep breath, “I know.”
A few hours later our bags were put into the car, Tim was waiting outside to drive us to the airport. I walked back upstairs to do the one thing that pained me. I had to force Sophia to do the one thing that frightened her the most.
“It’s time to leave.” I said when I entered the room.
She looked at me from across the room, “Ok.” She said calmly. I was shocked; she didn’t even try to argue with me. She walked past me down the stairs, and out the front door without another word. Tim greeted her, and she forced a small smile. She stopped before climbing into the car. Her gaze was fixated on the vehicle, until I walked up behind her. She bit her lip then climbed into the back seat.
She stared out the window, the entire way to the airport. Her fists were clenched; I could see her nails digging into the palm of her hands. Another car pulled out in front of ours almost cutting us off. Tim had to tap the breaks quickly. Sophia gasped and shut her eyes.
“Tim…” I said with a little annoyance in my voice.
Tim glanced up at the rearview mirror, “Sorry, Sir.”
I reached over placing my hand on top of her balled up hand. She opened her eyes, and pulled her hand away. “I’m fine. I just need to get out of this car.”
“We will be there soon.”
When we arrived at the airport, an attendant greeted us, opening the car door. Once we were inside the airport, we bypassed security fairly quickly, skipping the line. They ushered us toward our plane. Sophia's arms were folded across her chest the entire way there. She was trying to remain calm, but I knew she was panicking on the inside.
Until Him: Book 3 - Until Then Series Page 1
