I emerged from the bedroom; he was waiting for me on the sofa. “Ready.” I smiled.
He stood, “Are you sure you’re up for this?”
“I think so. It’s hard to tell, when you won’t tell me what we’re actually doing.”
“We can always turn back around if you decide against it when we get there.”
“Ok.”
Stefan had rented a jeep for the duration of our trip. We drove through the winding streets; the views were something you think are only real in your dreams. The wind blowing through my hair, the warmth of the sun, I felt ok.
We stopped at what looked like a farm. I gave him a strange look, he had a smirk across his face. “Where are we?” I asked.
“You’ll see.”
“This doesn’t look like they serve breakfast here.”
He laughed as he parked the jeep in front of the main building. We walked inside, and we were greeted by a woman. “Mr. Edwards, I presume?”
“Correct. Nice to meet you.” He shook her hand.
“We have everything ready. Adam will be your guide.” She gestured to a man that entered the room. “I prepared what you asked for, and the horses are ready.”
“Thank you.” Stefan smiled. He glanced at me; I shot him a surprised look.
We followed Adam outside where three beautiful horses were waiting. Two were brown; the other was a beautiful white.
“This is Betty.” Adam placed his hand on the white horses nose, stroking her calmly. “She will be yours.” He said to me, “Have you rode horses?”
“A few times.” I smiled.
“Come meet her.” He gestured for me to come closer. I stepped slowly near Betty. She shook her head, then calmed again.
“You can pet her. She’s a sweet girl.” He scratched her neck.
I stared at Betty head on; she was one of the prettiest horses I had ever seen. I placed my hand on her soft nose, and then stroked the side of her face. “She’s beautiful.”
“I’m happy you like her.” Adam smiled. “This is Dean.” He spoke to Stefan, guiding him over to one of the brown horses. Betty and I stood there while Adam introduced Stefan to his horse.
After the introductions, and run through on safety measures, we mounted our horses. Adam had a large basket attached to his saddle, that I could only assume was the food, since the whole point of this excursion was to have breakfast. Stefan gave me a look, the look where he’s asking if I’m ok without speaking. I nodded my head, with a smile.
We started up the trail, Adam in lead; I was second, Stefan behind. The sun was shining through the trees, while birds flew about, singing their songs. I caught myself appreciating this moment. My Mom would want me to enjoy every bit of this, soak it all in is what she would tell me.
We continued up the trail, around winding turns. When we reached the top, I was amazed at the sight that I saw. Betty and I lingered taking in the sight. I’m sure she had seen this sight many times before. Me though, I was mesmerized. Breathe, just breathe; The only way to move forward. I closed my eyes, listening to the surroundings, taking in the pure air.
“Are you ready?” Stefan asked from below. I hadn’t even realized that they had dismounted their horses.
“Just taking in sight,” I replied, staring out at the ocean. A second later I swung my leg over, hopping down from the saddle. “Where did Adam go?” I asked. I could see his horse, but not him.
“This is when he takes a break. He went for a walk.” Stefan walked over to the basket on Adam’s horse. He pulled a blanket, and a few containers out.
After he laid the blanket down, setting up the now open containers, we both sat down facing the water. Stefan pulled out one last container, handing it to me. When I popped open the top, a slow smile appeared on my face. A few small scones. It was the smallest gesture, but I felt part of myself returning.
Flashbacks of the past few weeks came to my mind, him holding me in the cold shower, taking me home, not making me feel wrong for my brokenness. He was there with no questions asked. My heart felt like it was piecing itself back together. He loved me with everything that he was, and that’s love in its purest form.
“They’re not lemon, but I figured you would like them either way.” He sat back down next to me.
“I do.” I placed my hand on his. “Thank you for loving me. I don’t think I could have done this without you.”
“Always,” He leaned over, pressing his lips to mine. His touch felt like a match igniting a fire inside of me that I didn’t think could burn again. I’ve never believed in fate, but he felt like mine.
Chapter Six
Sophia
The trip down the mountain was quicker than the trek up. A moment of clarity hit me while we were up there, something I didn’t expect. My Mom would want me to live life, and that’s what I was going to do. My heartfelt broken without her here, but I couldn’t stay in this emotional state any longer. I wanted to feel alive again.
After we dismounted the horses, we thanked Adam for guiding us. Stefan spoke to the Woman inside one more time, while I said goodbye to Betty. This beautiful white horse helped me move past something, even though she didn’t know it. I ran my hand along her nose one more time, before walking towards the jeep.
“Did you have fun?” Stefan asked, now in the driver's seat.
I watched as Adam guided two of the horses away, “I enjoyed every minute of it.”
“I have another surprise for you.”
I looked over at him, “Stefan…”
“I had this one planned since yesterday, the horses were impromptu.” He tried to justify. “Plus this one if more of a gift.”
I sighed, “Ok.”
When we arrived back at the house, I noticed a car out front when we turned down the driveway. It wasn’t a strange thing for another car to appear, kind of like the jeep appearing the day after we arrived. The front door was unlocked; I looked strangely at Stefan, as I walked into the house.
My foot hit something, causing me to stumble forward, “What the….” I pushed my hair out of my face, steadying myself. “Why is there a bag in the way?” I looked at Stefan.
“I don’t know.” He answered quickly, turning to shut the door.
I huffed, “Stefan is someone here?”
“It’s my bag.” A chirpy voice that I recognized came from across the room.
I spun around to find Keira walking through the glass doors from outback, “You’re here.” I said with a smile.
There was something about seeing my best friend that tears instantly formed in my eyes. It was as if every emotion from the past two weeks came back. My tears were from exhaustion. I didn’t even know if she knew.
“Don’t cry.” She half laughed, bringing me into a hug. “I’m not that amazing.”
“I’m fine.” I pulled away from her, wiping my face. “I’ve just had a rough few weeks.”
“I know.” She gave me a half smile, hugging me again.
“Hi Soph,” Leo smiled, inserting himself between Keira’s grasp on me.
I smiled, hugging him, as Keira rolled her eyes and made her way to greet Stefan.
“I hear Stefan got you on a horse this morning.” Leo joked, looking down at me.
“He did.”
“I would have paid money to see Stefan riding a horse. Tell me, did he fall? You can be honest.”
I laughed, “He did not.”
Stefan gave him an amused look, “I didn’t invite you here for your jokes, Leo.”
“You were an easy target.” Leo smirked, removing his arms around my shoulder.
That night the four of us cooked dinner. We grilled chicken and asparagus. Keira and I sat outside sipping on wine, while Leo and Stefan attempted to know how to use a grill. I laughed to myself, taking a sip of my wine. They did grow up with a silver spoon in their mouth, I couldn’t blame them.
“How was your honeymoon?” I asked Keira.
She lit up at the question, “It was so magical. Tw
o of the best weeks of my life.”
“I’m glad you had a good time.” I took a sip of wine. “When did Stefan call you?”
“The day we arrived home. You two were leaving the next day. I wanted to come see you, but he said it wasn’t a good idea yet.”
My gaze fixated on the water, “He was probably right.”
She touched my arm, “How are you?”
I looked down at her hand then back to her, “I’m breathing.”
“What does that mean?”
“If you want an honest answer, I’m not ok. I don’t know if I ever will be. A part of me is gone, but something I’ve learned over these past two weeks is that I have to keep moving forward. It’s the only way to survive. So, I’m breathing, existing, trying. It’s all I can do.”
“I don’t know what you’re going through, but I’m here.” She squeezed my hand.
I smiled, “That’s what I need.” Fire appeared on the grill, dulling back down shortly after. “Can we go help them, before they burn the house down?”
She looked over her shoulder, and laughed, “They need all the help they can get.”
We ate outside, watching the sunset while the ocean rolled in front of us. It was one of those perfect evenings. Leo and Stefan talked about business for a few minutes, while Keira told me about their adventures over their honeymoon. The dinner was filled with laughter and love. I wasn’t alone. As much as I felt alone when my mom left, I never was. Not even close. Stefan caught my gaze; a warm smile appeared on his face.
It was close to midnight when Leo and Keira decided to go to sleep. Stefan and I weren’t far behind them. We made our way to the bedroom, turning off the lights on our way. The room was illuminated by the moonlight, the curtains blowing through the open doors; the quiet was like a silent song.
“Are you coming?” Stefan rubbed my arm, walking up behind me.
“Hmm?” I looked at him, “Oh yeah. I’m just taking in the moment.”
He wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head. “Living in the moment?”
“Something like that.” I looked up at him, his eyes connected with mine. There was a time before him that I didn’t know if I would ever find a love like his, but he came into my life full force, taking down my walls one by one. I kissed his lips, taking in his touch. His fingers ran through my hair, as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
His lips continued to dance with mine. I pressed into him, making him feel my need. He picked me up in a cradle, carrying me to the bedroom. I needed to escape, I needed my body to feel, he does that to me.
My thoughts drifted away, my world focusing on him. He set me down on the bed, leaning over me. His lips still connected to mine. It felt as if electricity was rushing through me. His touch was gentle, as he ran his fingers along my skin. He removed his shirt, coming back down to my lips.
He kissed my neck, my fingers digging into his back, his body grinding against mine. My shirt came over my head. We were tangled in each other, our hearts dancing to the same rhythm. He took his time, as I took him in. I gasped for air, when he set my body on fire. Pulling him further into me, I let go.
We laid next to each other, the salty wind blowing through the curtains. I was starting to feel normal again. I wasn’t sure if it was his love that was showing me the way or my heart searching for normalcy. Either way, I was fine.
I rolled over to face him, “Tomorrow, let’s go on another adventure.”
“Adventure? What did you have in mind?”
“Anything. Today I felt like myself, and I didn’t realize how much I missed me.”
“I have an idea.” He smirked.
“That smirk worries me.” I touched his lips with my fingers. “I don’t know if our definitions of adventure are the same.”
“They’re not, but that’s what makes it interesting.”
I eyed him, “Interesting is not cliff diving into the ocean naked.”
He laughed, “I didn’t say we would be naked, but if you insist.”
“Very funny,” I laughed, rolling my eyes.
Stefan woke up early the next morning. My eyes blinked open to him pulling a shirt over his head. I sat up in bed, stretching my arms over my head. “Where are you going?”
“An adventure, remember?” He threw a shirt in my direction. “Get dressed.”
I laughed, “Can I take back what I said last night? I don’t trust you.”
“No.” He smiled the same devious smile he had last night as he walked out of the room.
I huffed as I climbed out of bed. I did in fact ask for this. “What should I wear?” I called out.
“A swimsuit; Cliff diving remember?” He yelled from the other room.
“I have amnesia. I don’t remember any of that.” I joked as I dug through my clothes.
Keira popped into the room, “Cliff diving is very intense. I didn’t know you were such a daredevil.”
“It was more of a joke, but I think he took me seriously.”
She giggled, “Stefan does take things pretty literal.”
I smiled at her, “I’m so happy you’re here.”
“Me too,” She hugged me, and then grabbed a yellow bikini. “This one. Now get dressed.” She sang as she bounced out of the room.
The cliff top seemed to be higher than the drive up. We stopped half way, walking the rest. Leo was overly pumped, Keira was positive as usual. The skeptic in me was showing, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other.
When we got to the top, my heart was pounding. Stefan and Leo spoke to a few locals that were jumping. They instructed us where to climb back up, pointing out into the ocean, standing a little too close to the edge than I cared for.
“You ok?” Stefan asked, walking up to me.
“I didn’t think you meant actual cliff diving.” I said, as another person flew into the air. My eyes widened.
“You’ll never know if it’s fun until you try.” He whispered, wrapping his arms around me. “You jump, I’ll jump.”
I looked up at him over my shoulder, “Together?”
“Together.”
We watched a few people jump until everyone was cheering on Keira and Leo. I stood with one arm folded across my chest, my other hand resting on my bottom lip. I was nervous enough for the both of them.
“Race ya.” Keira squealed, letting go of Leo’s hand. Her feet left the ground faster than I could realize what was happening. She screamed from excitement the whole way down. The crowd erupted in triumphant cheers. Leo jumped shortly after she was out of the way.
Our turn came up, everyone’s excited eyes were on us. Stefan noticed me second guessing everything. “Just breathe.” He took my hand.
It was as if his words instantly calmed me, “Breathe. Right.”
The crowd counted down for us. My thoughts counted along with them, three...Breathe….two….Breathe….one….move. Stefan squeezed my hand as we ran to what felt like the edge of the earth. For a few seconds we were airborne, falling with nothing to catch us but the ocean. Stefan never once let go of my hand. We hit the water in a swift motion, coming up for air instantly.
A smile formed on my face that I couldn’t refuse. I pushed the water out of my eyes, as Stefan swam closer to me. He kissed me solidifying that I was in fact braver than I thought.
Chapter Seven
Stefan
The next few days I watched the light return to Sophia. Her laugh filled every room she was in. Her touch was just as tender. We still talked about her Mum; she was trying her hardest to keep moving forward. We made a plan for her to return to Nebraska when she was ready.
Sophia was packing her things, my stuff was by the front door. Keira and Leo were flying back with us. Since I dragged them out here, the least I could do was let them hitch a ride on the plane.
“You did good,” Keira whispered to me, plopping her bag down next to mine.
I gave her a questioning look, “Did good?”
“She needed you. You b
rought her out of her version of darkness.”
I looked down the long hall at Sophia coming out of the room, “She saved me too.”
Sophia eyed me as she approached, “What are you two talking about?”
“Oh nothing.” Keira smirked.
Sophia rolled her eyes, “You two annoy me.”
“You have to fly quite a few hours with us; do you think you can handle that?” I joked.
She laughed, “I’ve survived this long. Plus Leo is pretty normal.”
“I’m what?” Leo dropped his bag next to us.
“Nothing.” Sophia laughed, carrying her bag through the front door.
It was a lot easier getting on the plane than I thought it was going to be. Sophia didn’t even hesitate walking up the stairs. We were seated facing each other. She had her trusty headphones, and ordered a glass of white wine. Her gaze was fixated out the window. Some days I wish I knew what was going on inside of her head. Was she as ok as she seemed? Or was it all a show?
Her concentration broke, looking at me, “I don’t want to leave.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m nervous to go back to New York.”
I leaned forward resting my elbows on my knees, “Why?”
“What if I get back and I become depressed again? I haven’t cried in three days, what if I go back and I take ten steps backwards?”
I sighed, “Well you’re definitely going to cry again…”
She glared at me, “Thanks.”
“Let me finish,” I took her hand. “This is a process, there will be days you miss her and it’s ok if you’re sad. You’re doing better than you feel. You don’t see it now, but she would be proud of you.”
“You think so?”
“Babe, she would be proud, don’t ever question it.” I squeezed her hand. She gave me a real smile, and then took a sip of her wine, leaning back in her seat.
We landed in New York at a reasonable time. Tim insisted on picking us up from the airport even though I told him that we could get another driver. He has a soft spot for Sophia and I can’t blame him.
Until Him: Book 3 - Until Then Series Page 4
