“That would be lovely.” I smiled.
“Follow me, everyone is already here.”
As I walked to the back with Jim I noticed the water fountain had been replaced. “Jim, did you get a new fountain?”
“Oh, that? Stefan insisted he buy us a new one.”
I looked at him, “Stefan?”
“Yeah. He comes here every week when he’s in town. Has he not told you? Him and Josh are pretty good friends now.”
“No, he hasn’t. When was the last time he was here?”
“A few days ago. Am I getting him in trouble right now?”
I laughed, “No, we’re not currently together. I’m just happy he was able to help you.”
“Oh, I wasn’t aware. He has never mentioned that you broke up.”
“No, I don’t think he would have. It’s been a rocky few months.”
He touched my arm, “We’re always here for you.”
“Thank you. Now how about that cake?” I changed the subject quickly.
He smiled, “This way.” He gestured down the hall.
Stefan
My flight was in two hours. It was 6AM. My bag was packed. I slept like shit last night. I laid awake until about 4AM thinking about Sophia. She hadn’t reached out to me. No matter what anyone keeps telling me, I can’t force her to love me. I can’t force her to talk to me. If she wants to move on, I’m going to let her.
My Mum was making a smoothie in the kitchen when I walked out with my bag. She gave me a sad smile, as I dropped my bag by the door.
She walked up to me and took my face in her hands, “I’m going to miss you my sweet boy.”
“I’ll miss you too.” I brought her into a hug.
She pulled away looking up at me, “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Sophia.”
My chest tightened when she said her name, “It’s fine, Mum. We just weren’t meant to be. She’ll be happy this way.”
“But will you?”
“My happiness doesn’t matter when it comes to this.”
She gave me a sad smile, “You have grown so much over the past few months.”
“I think you and I both have. I haven’t forgotten that we’re going to Nan’s next month.”
She grimaced, “We can postpone it if you find that you want to stay in London for longer.”
I laughed, “Mum, you’re not getting out of this.”
She sighed, “Ok, fine. Now will you leave? You’re going to miss your flight.”
I kissed her on the cheek, “Bye, Mum.”
Tim was waiting downstairs. He tossed my bag in the trunk. I went to open the back seat door, but hesitated. I stepped forward opening the front seat passenger door, and slid in. Well this felt weird.
Tim looked at me like I had lost it, “Um Sir?”
I shrugged my shoulders, “Sophia always sat up here, don’t look at me like that. I’d just prefer to see your face when I talk to you today.”
He laughed, shaking his head as he started the car. “What would you like to talk about?”
“What do you think you will do with your time off while I’m gone?”
He looked over his left shoulder as he pulled into traffic, “I think I will travel some. I’ve always wanted to see Niagara Falls. It was one of the top things on my wife’s bucket list.”
“I think that sounds like a good plan. Just call me if you need anything. I mean it, anything you need, I will make happen.”
He nodded, “Of course.”
I leaned on my arm, as I stared out the window. I thought I was fine up until I was actually on the way to the airport. This was it. In the moments when you have to make a choice, it scares the hell out of you. I’ll admit it I’m afraid, that’s why I keep trying to justify leaving. We have faced so many obstacles; we have felt so much pain. I may never find the right words to say to her, but I know one thing, distance won’t stop me from loving her. Her soul and mine collided, taking down the walls I built for myself, and she loved me still. Fuck I know I have told myself that this is what’s best, but it’s not my decision to make, it is her’s.
I placed my hand on the dashboard, “Tim, I need you to take me somewhere. Right now!”
He looked at me confused, “Stefan, you will miss your flight.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Sophia
Today was the day Jess told me Stefan was leaving. I woke up early like I normally do, and put on my running shoes. I thought about reaching out to him the last few days, but part of me was afraid. I’m so tired of people leaving, that maybe if I don’t give them a chance to leave me I’ll just eventually be fine being alone. I was annoyed with myself for thinking like this, but I don’t think my heart can take anymore. I was afraid.
It still felt different starting on this end of the Brooklyn Bridge, but it still had the same effect on me. My skin was tingling, my stomach had butterflies, my heart felt the same nagging feeling. I stopped at the arch that I always stop at during my run, to watch the sun rise. It was cool out, the wind was soft. I thought this city was going to break me at one point, but now I realize it only made me stronger. I wasn’t the scared girl anymore. I had lost a lot, but I also gained who I was supposed to be.
I turned to start running again. I took in a deep breath, and stopped dead in my tracks. The brown hair I knew so well, his perfect jaw line, and dark eyes that can see into your soul. He’s dressed in a suit, and he was walking toward me. I felt as if my breath was taken from me. I blinked a few times to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. Seeing him destroyed every pep talk that I have ever given myself.
“He didn’t leave.” I whispered to myself.
Stefan gave me a sympathetic smile, I hate sympathetic smiles. “Soph…”
I waved my hands backing away, “No, no, no. You can’t be here. This isn’t real.”
He stopped, “Please talk to me.”
“You left!” My voice broke. “You can’t just come and go as you please!”
“I was wrong.”
I didn’t have a response to that. He just admitted it upfront. No excuses. My heart was beating so fast.
“I should never have left you.” He continued. No, stop talking. I started biting my bottom lip.
“Stefan, go away.” I snapped, and started in the opposite direction.
“Why do you keep coming here?” He called out.
I stopped, turning back to face him, “What?”
He stepped closer to me, “I said, why do you keep coming here?”
My mouth suddenly went dry, “I...I don’t know.”
He stepped closer again, “Yes you do. You’re just having a hard time admitting it.”
We had a small audience now. The bicyclists were still whizzing by, but it was quiet around us. The sun had just started to rise.
“Tell me, why do you keep coming here?” He asked again.
“Because...Because it’s my favorite memory of you.” Once the words left my mouth, it was like I was holding in emotions for so long that were begging to get out.
“A life without love, really isn’t a life. Now is it?” He asked.
I didn’t respond. I kept my concentration on him, ignoring everything around us.
“Do you still love me?” He asked.
I closed my eyes tight, I shouldn’t answer, but my heart won, “Yes.”
Then I felt his hands on mine. I opened my eyes, and it was official I wasn’t breathing anymore. I looked down at his hands; I had missed his touch for so long.
He touched my chin, raising my head, making our eyes meet, “I’ve learned something recently. In life you can either choose love, or run from it. Love is a choice we have to make every day. It won’t just fall out of the air and be perfect. You have to work at it, every single day. Some days are hard, but the hard days make the good ones worth it. The days that send electricity to your soul. The days that you can’t stop smiling because you feel like life couldn’t be more perfect. Those are the
days that make the hard ones worth it. You always have a choice. My choice is you. It will always be you. If you’ll have me?”
I stared into his eyes, my hands were shaking, I reached up and touched his cheek, “We’re a mess.”
He smirked, “Remember? The bloody mess is the best part.”
“I never stopped loving you.” I whispered.
“I know, little one.”
“Will you shut up and kiss me now?” I begged.
That was all he needed, he pulled me closer to him, with his hand on my back. We collided into each other. I’ve kissed him a thousand times, and no matter how long the drought, my heart still explodes every single time. My soul was calm, recognizing it had found its home in him.
He still had me pressed up against him; I looked up, “Now what happens?”
He smirked, “Well Tim is a block away from the bridge waiting. Why don’t we go get some breakfast?”
I rested my head on his chest, “That seems simple. I’d like that.”
He kissed the top of my head, “I’m not leaving this time, so I hope you don’t get sick of me.”
I laughed, “Never.”
We walked up to the parked car, Stefan opened the door for me, and I slid in. I could see the smile Tim was trying to hold back.
He looked in the rearview mirror, “Good Morning, Miss Sophia. How are you?”
“I am very well. Thank you.”
Tim looked at Stefan, “Sir. I’m assuming you are missing your flight?”
Stefan glared at him, “Tim, I don’t want any jokes from you. Can you take us to breakfast?”
Tim was still trying to hold down his smile, “Of course.”
Jim’s facial expression was priceless when we entered the coffee shop. Stefan took me to my favorite coffee shop; the one where we had our first half date. Jim didn’t dare mention anything about Stefan and I being together. I sat down at a table by the window while Stefan got our coffees.
I watched Stefan as he spoke with Jim. He was still the same man I loved. We were both scared the night of his father’s arrest. We both handled the situation poorly, but we found our way back to each other. He picked up the coffee cups, and turned my direction. A sweet smile formed on Stefan’s face as he approached me.
“Here you go, Beautiful.” He sat down in front of me.
I blew on the cup as I set it down, “Thank you.”
“I heard you and my Mum had a nice conversation at the dinner after I left.”
I looked at him, wincing inside from how I spoke to him, “I did. I think it went well.”
“I don’t know what you said to her, but I think you gained another fan.”
I laughed, “She just needed someone to hear her, I did nothing.”
“I also heard you posed the idea of her speaking with my Nan?”
I scrunched my nose like I was in trouble, “I just think that they would both benefit by at least talking to one another.”
“I agree.”
I exhaled, “Oh good. I thought I was in trouble.”
He smirked, “No, not even close to being in trouble. Would you like to go with us? I told my Mum that it was a good idea, we have plans to go next month?”
“Actually, yes. I think it’s time I go through my Mum’s things.” I ran my fingers through his.
“Are you ready for that?”
I smiled, “I am. Plus, you’ll be right next to me.”
And just like that we were back to normal. It was as if no time had passed since we last kissed. There’s something about two hearts that were made for each other, they will always find their way back together, and when they do, the same magic is still there. You might be wiser, stronger, braver, but the love is always the same.
Later that night Stefan and I returned to my apartment. He insisted that he wanted to see where I moved to. We picked up Italian from down stairs and of course a side of garlic bread. He was confused when we exited the restaurant only to walk right back into it through a different entrance.
“Wait, you live here?” He looked around as we walked up the stairs.
I laughed, “No, we’re totally trespassing.”
“Very funny.”
I unlocked the door and shoved it open, “Well this is it.”
He followed me in and stood in the middle of the room as he slowly turned in a circle taking in the sight of the apartment. “You’re sleeping on an air mattress? Why don’t you have a bed?”
I rolled my eyes at his ignorance, “Beds cost money.”
“Oh right.” He pulled me closer to him by my waist, “It doesn’t matter; now you can sleep next to me again.”
I pulled away from him, “No.”
“No?”
“That’s what I said. I love you, but I need a few months on my own. We’ve always lived together. We need time together, but separately.” I covered my face with my hands as I was trying to make sense, “I need to learn to be Sophia who has a boyfriend named Stefan. Not Sophia whose life is Stefan. Does that make sense?”
He sighed, “Ok. Can I at least stay the night?”
I was shocked at his calm response, “You want to stay here? In this apartment? On that air mattress?”
He smiled warmly, taking me in his arms again, “I want to be wherever you are tonight.”
Damn him for being so dashingly charming. “On one condition.”
He placed a small kiss on my lips, “What’s that?”
“Take a bath with me.” I smiled.
He laughed, “Your one condition is to see you naked while you're covered in bubbles?”
“Yep.”
He laughed, “Don’t twist my arm, Little One. You’re making it hard, and I’m not just talking about life.”
“I try.” I pressed my lips to his again.
After dinner, I ran a bubble bath. I lit a few tea light candles around the tub, while Stefan poured two glasses of wine. I sank into the bubbles; he walked in with the sexiest smile on his face. He set the glasses down on the side of the tub.
I giggled, “What?” I asked, taking a sip of wine.
He stripped down to nothing, “This is the most perfect sight I’ve seen in a while. That’s all.”
I smiled with the glass pressed up against my lips. He stepped into the tub, sliding behind me, bringing me between his legs. “Ok this is quite small.” He laughed.
I rolled my eyes, turning to face him, “No complaining.”
“I’m not complaining.” He kissed my cheek. “You could put me in a broom closet with you, and I’d be happy.”
I wiggled my body against him, “What would you do to me in that broom closet?”
He nibbled my ear, “Want me to show you?”
Chapter Thirty Seven
Sophia
A month had passed since Stefan and I got back together. I remained in my apartment in Brooklyn much to Stefan’s disagreement. He tried to insist that I move back into the Brownstone, but I needed time on my own. We went through so much and we lived with each other from the beginning of our relationship. It was time that I figured myself out. Stefan moved his things back into the brownstone. I would stay with him over the weekends, and he would sleep at my apartment one day during the week. Because that was all that I allowed him to.
He picked me up from my apartment early Friday morning. Our flight to Nebraska was in two hours. Evelyn was meeting us there. We didn’t tell Judy that we were bringing her. Evelyn thought she would turn her away if we did.
Seated on the plane I noticed Evelyn wringing a napkin in her hands.
“Are you nervous?” I asked.
She looked at me almost embarrassed, “It’s my mother; I shouldn’t be.”
“It’s ok if you are. I used to have full blown panic attacks before I would get on planes. I’ll hold your hand if you want.”
She tried not to laugh, but it escaped her. “You are too sweet.”
Stefan was eyeing me. He still wasn’t used to his Mom and I being cordial. I ha
d come to like her over the past month. She was a different person without Henry. She had such thick skin, but her heart was tender.
The hours passed and the plane was preparing to land. That nervous look returned to Evelyn. She was clutching her chest. She made it this far, she should be proud of herself.
I reached my hand over taking hers in mine. “I used to be scared of planes you know?”
Her shoulders relaxed, and a small smile formed, “You might have mentioned that before. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”
I squeezed her hand, “Life is messy. That’s what showers are for.”
Stefan rolled his eyes, “You two bonding is freaking me out.”
We were in a silver rental car. Stefan told his Mother that there wasn’t a professional car service in the area and it was either rent a car or take the bus. Obviously she opted for the rental. She was not amused with my story of how I used to take the bus when I lived here.
I smiled at the sight of Judy’s house when we turned on the driveway. It was weird, my heart started beating from nerves for Evelyn. She hadn’t spoken to her Mother since the night Henry was arrested, and before that I think it had been years.
Judy appeared on the front porch waving as Stefan parked in her driveway. Just before we got out of the car, Evelyn stopped us.
“Wait, was this a bad idea?” She panicked.
Stefan looked at her, “You’ll be fine, Mum.”
“I don’t know. So much time has passed.” She clutched her chest.
Stefan took her hand, “Mum, she loves you.”
She took in a deep breath, and opened the door. I tapped Stefan on the shoulder queuing him to stay in the car. “Let them have this moment.” I whispered. He understood immediately, and then we both watched on. The door was still ajar, so we could hear what was being said.
“Evelyn?” Judith gasped, placing her fingers on her lips.
“I’m sorry if this is a surprise. I was afraid if they told you I was coming, that you would turn me away.” She said quickly. You could tell Evelyn was nervous. “I just wanted to see you, Mum. I’ve been through a lot recently, and a young girl made me realize what is important in life. That young girl lost everything, but she still has a heart of gold. She told me to come to you; that you were still the same Mum that I remember, but I was afraid.”
Until Him: Book 3 - Until Then Series Page 24
