He pauses, shrugs his shoulders, but walks into the apartment.
‘I was going to bring flowers,’ he says like a sulking child who forgot Mother’s Day.
‘Well I only like flowers that are still growing in the ground, so I’m glad you couldn’t be bothered.’ I snap.
‘What’s the difference?’
‘Well one’s cut down in it’s prime for other people’s vanity, the other’s left to live. Quite simple really.’
He looks at me, trying to work me out.
‘It wasn’t that I couldn’t be bothered. There’s just nowhere around here sells flowers. There’s only that stupid coffee shop around here.’
I rouse further, ‘Do NOT diss the coffee shop.’
I feel my jaw tighten. ‘I don’t know why I have let you in. Mitch told me you got my stepsister involved in drugs.’
‘It wasn’t like that.’
I’m silent for a moment whilst I try and get my head around the chicken and egg of my stepfather and Gabe.
‘I can’t think about this right now. My head hurts Gabe. Some other time, yeah, I’ll listen okay?’
‘Your hair looks nice,’ he reaches and touches the tips.
I back away, ‘I was feeling blue.’
‘I don’t want to hurt you Stella.’
‘Then don’t.’ I step away. ‘So before I throw you out, is there anything else you want?’
He growls. ‘I want you.’
Like opponents in a ring we size each other up, working out next moves. I look away first, uncomfortable under the intensity of his gaze.
‘Look at me, Stella.’
‘No.’
‘What are you afraid of?’
There’s a clatter as a pigeon lands on the balcony railing and I tense.
I look back at him.
‘I’m afraid of nothing.’
‘That’s not true. You’re scared of me now, scared of getting hurt.’ He nods towards the patio doors. ‘You’re scared of that balcony. I’ve seen you avoid it.’
I jut my chin out. ‘I’m scared of nothing. You’re mistaken.’
He stands tall and folds his arms across his chest. His eyes glint. ‘Really? Well in that case, F is for Fear. Come to me Stella, if you’re not scared. I dare you.’
He walks towards the balcony, opens the doors and sits on one of the chairs. Then he puts his feet up on the opposite one and holds his arms behind his head, putting his face to the sunshine.
I could hit that face. That beautiful face of betrayal.
I close my eyes. The balcony. I hate the balcony.
‘I’m making a coffee.’ I walk into the kitchen, giving myself some time.
I can sense he’s watching me as I make a drink. I crouch down behind the open door of the fridge as I get the milk. Focus. Come on, fearless Stella. This new version of Stella will like the balcony. I will own that balcony. If he’s innocent like he says I’ll screw him senseless and if he’s not, when I’ve used him for my own satisfaction I’ll screw him over. I stand back up and finish making my drink. Gabe is back letting the sun warm his face, eyes closed, so I strip down to my bra and pants, discarding the rest of my clothes on the kitchen floor. I’m left in a black lace balcony bra and matching lace edged boy shorts. I pick up my drink, stride out to the balcony and knocking his legs off the chair, sit across from him. Then I do my leg trick, slowly crossing it over the other. I look at him.
He licks his lip. ‘Such a tease.’
I smirk.
‘I mean, fancy bringing yourself a coffee and not getting me one.’
‘You said you wanted me. Here I am.’
‘Hmmm, yes there you are, sitting with your back to the balcony. Did you actually look out at the view before you sat down?’
‘Seen it before.’
‘Well not with me you haven’t. Let’s look again shall we?’
He grabs my hand and walks me to the edge of the balcony, pushing me against the railing.
‘I’ll have parents complaining that I’m in my undies in front of their innocent children.’
His lips brush my ear. ‘There’s only one person on their balcony and they aren’t close enough to see what we’re doing. You’ll just look like you’re in a bikini. Anyway, you’re going to be so distracted soon, you won’t care what anyone thinks.’
He grabs my hair in his hand and turns my neck, holding my head in place to look out. If I moved it would hurt my scalp. ‘Now look, you didn’t even know who was out there. Tell me. Describe what you see.’
‘I see the Thames.’
He pushes me further into the balcony. My heart leaps and I go slightly dizzy.
‘More details or I will lean you over the railing.’
Adrenaline courses through my body, I feel a pulse in my neck. ‘I see someone has blue plant pots with orange flowers.’
‘Better.’ He slips his hand through the side of my pants. ‘The more you tell me, the more reward.’
I feel between my legs get wet.
‘There’s a child’s play house with artificial grass.’
He removes his hand. ‘You could know that already, you can see it from your window.’
I look over the railing more. He puts his hand back, teasing my clit.
‘The television on the ground floor seems to have some sport on it, football.’
He thrusts a finger inside.
‘There’s a bloke in his flat, wandering around in red boxers. He’s on the phone.’
He unzips his trousers.
‘Is he looking outside?’
‘Yes, he’s looking around whilst he chats.’
‘Has he seen you?’
‘Yes.’
‘How does that make you feel?’
Embarrassed.
‘I don’t care.’
‘Still pretending you aren’t scared? Feel the fear and do me anyway.’
He pushes my pants to one side and thrusts into me, pushing me partway over the balcony. I’m going to die. My breath comes too fast. I might faint. Faint and plummet over the balcony. I grip the railing so hard my knuckles turn white.
‘I’ve got you. Trust me.’
‘I trust no-one but myself.’
‘Got to trust someone sometime babe. Let go of the railing.’
I concentrate on regulating my breathing and begin to realise that Gabe is right. He has me. I’m going nowhere. The sensations of his thrusting take over and I begin to moan. The rush of fight or flight has made my skin and clit uber sensitive. Gabe holds on to me by one hip and one breast, his fingers digging in as he seeks his release.
The river boat sails down the Thames. Anyone could watch us. Do they know we’re fucking? The thought carries me over and I come, the sensations rock Gabe over to his own release.
He picks me up and carries me into my bedroom. He’s ready to go again in no time.
I never do get to drink that coffee.
We dress and Gabe turns to me. ‘I need to explain things to you.’
I put a finger over his lips. ‘Not now. I don’t want to think of it for a while. I need some time just to get my head together and think about what I want to hear, what I want to ask.’
Whether or not you need to feature on my shit list.
‘But aren’t you just torturing yourself?’
‘No. I’m not thinking about any of it.’
‘So you just pretend last night never happened? Block it all out?’
‘Something like that.’
‘That’s not a healthy way to survive.’
‘It’s the only way I know. I need time. Can we just act normal for a while?’
He sighs, ‘Do you want me to leave?’
I consider it. ‘I’m off to visit my secret London obsession. You can come along if you like.’
Gabe swings his legs over the side of the bed. ‘Sounds interesting. You’re on.’
‘Wow. All the sights in London and you bring me here, though I admit the colours have a certain clarity and the artwork h
as a comedic touch.’
I’ve brought him to M&M World.
‘You do realise I’ve already done this, there’s one in New York?’
‘You telling me you’re not a virgin?’
‘Ooh, now you’re making me feel dirty around M&Ms. That will not do Miss Mulroney, there are lots of impressionable children around.’
‘That didn’t bother you on the balcony.’
‘Touche. Now what have you brought me here for?’
‘I just craved some sweets and these are my favourite.’
‘Candy?’
‘We call them sweets, you’re on my turf now, Yank.’
He picks up a pair of M&M shoelaces. ‘Hmmm I can think of a use for these.’
‘You’re warped. Put them down. Come help me choose, there are so many.’
Tubes containing every variation of the sweets surround one end of the store. A complete rainbow of edible delights. I am literally like a kid in a sweet shop. How the hell do you choose? I settle for a mix of Red, White and Blue. I’ve been in the store about an hour and they’re preparing to close. I make my purchase.
‘Come on Candy Queen, let’s get you home.’
‘Okay. Now don’t take offence, but can you just drop me back at the apartment and not come in?’
He looks annoyed, ‘Why?’
‘I’m feeling like I just want to watch a movie and eat my chocolate. I need to find out what Ronnie’s up to as well. I haven’t contacted her since last night. I think she’s being held at her folks house. She’ll have the face on.’
His brow furrows, ‘What?’
‘She’ll be annoyed with me.’
‘You do say some weird shit.’
‘And you don’t?’
‘Well I did realise quickly not to say fanny over here.’
I burst out laughing.
‘Though I really like it.’
‘The word?’
‘What do you think? You could just let me up for a little while.’ He pats my backside.
I smack his hand away,‘No.’
He drives me back to outside the apartment.
‘Now go home. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.’
‘You’re still coming in?’
‘Why would I not?’
‘I thought with everything that went down, you’d probably quit.’
‘I still have a plan to action. I don’t know what my future intentions are yet. So right now I still work with you. Is that okay?’
‘That’s more than okay.’
‘So I’ll see you tomorrow.’ I get out of the car.
‘And we’ll talk?’
Sighing I reply. ‘Yes, Gabe, we’ll talk.’
‘Bye moody Blue.’ He drives away.
Col is closing up the coffee shop and I head over to say hi.
He looks at me relieved, ‘Thank God. Stella, where have you been? Ronnie’s father’s been here trying to get hold of you.’
The blood drains from my face, something must be seriously wrong. Why did I not call him back straight away?
Col grabs me and helps as I steady myself.
‘What’s happened?’ I gasp.
‘Oh Stella, she’s okay, she’s safe.’
I clutch his arm, ‘Oh thank God. So where is she? I need to see her.’
He bites on his lip, ‘Well you’ll have to ask her father about that. I don’t know if you can.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well she’s not at their house.’ He sighs, ‘Ronnie’s in Rehab.’
Chapter 2
After speaking to Ronnie’s father and getting all the details on her whereabouts, I ring Gabe to tell him I won’t be at work after all as I need to take a day’s leave. However it turns out to be unnecessary as of course, being host to all the celebrities who need to repent, none other than Mr Harry Taylor is a current resident of The Priory and Gabe arranges to meet him, so he can take me.
I slide into the passenger side of his car. Today’s sandals are a pale green with multi-coloured gemstones on the top and a wooden stacked heel, complete with flowers on the inner soul. Ronnie will love them. I’m wearing matching pale green cut off skinnies and a white slouchy top.
‘You ready?’ Gabe asks and I know he doesn’t mean to set off.
‘Yes, I’ve arranged to meet the doctor at eleven.’
We set off to Roehampton.
Well I didn’t know what to expect but a white turreted castle-style affair was definitely not in my mind. It looks like a wedding venue. I should have known Ronnie wouldn’t end up in a typical NHS establishment. Picking up a leaflet as I walk through the foyer I note they treat people for shopping addiction. I wonder if they can cure her of that whilst they’re at it.
Gabe announces us and he is taken to meet Harry.
I’m admiring the interior. It’s a cross between a stately home with huge stone fireplaces and grandeur, and a hotel.
‘Miss Mulroney?’
I turn towards an attractive, middle-aged lady, with a short brown bob.
‘Yes?’
‘If you’d like to follow me.’
We enter an office, typical of a Solicitors or Consultants, with the usual accoutrements of filing cabinets and the obligatory box of tissues. I’m asked to take a seat.
‘So, Miss Huntington-Jones has signed a confidentiality agreement so we may talk freely. I understand from her father that you’re one of her closest friends?’
‘That’s right.’
‘Okay, well Veronica -’
‘Ronnie. I call her Ronnie.’
‘Okay. Well Ronnie is currently undergoing a period of assessment whilst we work out the best course of treatment for her. It would appear that she has a problem with alcohol. Is that something you’ve noticed?’
I think of all the times I’ve seen her drunk or merry and never given it a thought.
‘Yes, but I just thought she was enjoying herself.’
She nods. ‘Yes addiction can come across like that, until a situation occurs that brings things to a head, which is what happened the other night when Ronnie was involved in an incident because of the large amount of alcohol she’d consumed.’
I fiddle with my hair. ‘So will she have to stay here?’
‘It’s looking like she’ll be staying in for a twenty-eight day treatment programme. We will slowly detox her through using some medicines to help. She will likely feel very rough for a few days though so bear this in mind when you visit.’
‘And when can I visit?’
‘We have visiting times listed here.’ She hands me a brochure. ‘Obviously these have to fit around the therapy sessions our clients are involved in. However Ronnie has nothing scheduled this morning so you can meet her after we’ve finished chatting. I believe she’s waiting for you in the patient dining room.’
‘So how can I help?’
‘Just let her talk and be supportive. Be the good friend I’ve been assured you are.’
Appointment over, I am shown into the dining room. Again it’s a cross between an employees canteen and a hotel restaurant, with large windows and a service counter. The wooden dining tables seat around six and look out over the vast grounds attached.
‘Stella!’
Ronnie stands up quickly but then clutches her head and sits back down. I rush over to her. She’s pale. Her long blonde hair is tied back in a ponytail and her face is bare of make-up. She’s still stunning, the cow.
‘Fucking hell, I feel like shit.’
‘You look it.’
She laughs.
‘How is my best friend in the whole wide world? I’m sorry to shock you like this.’
Ronnie never apologises for anything, this hint of vulnerability is unnerving.
‘Don’t sweat it.’
She guffaws, ‘I think that’s inevitable in rehab.’
I put my hand over my mouth.
‘Stella?’
‘Yes.’
‘Stop just staring at the counter a
nd go and get the coffee you obviously crave. I’ll check if they treat coffee addiction, you can be my roomie.’
‘Well, if you don’t mind.’
‘Did I make a huge fool of myself on Friday night then? I don’t even remember.’
‘I didn’t see most of it to be honest. I have my own stuff to catch you up on. You were late and I saw you having an argument in the reception. Then I had to leave quickly.’
She raises an eyebrow. ‘I was arrested. Then they phoned my father.’
‘Bet that went down well.’
‘Oh it was alright, actually. Sorted a few things out.’
There’s a few moments silence.
‘Ronnie, why didn’t you tell me they’d cut off your allowance?’
‘Oh, it wasn’t a biggie. They’re always trying something, thinking I’ll suddenly grow airs and graces, come back to the family home and marry a member of the aristocracy. They think they’re the Middletons. They once invited Harry to a party, poor misguided fools.’
‘But to go to The Rodeo.’
‘Hey, I love The Rodeo. Stella, I’m not ashamed about that. I was going to tell you about the place once you’d got a bit more hooker. What? What’s that look?’
‘It’s my stepfather’s club. He owns it with Gabe’s dad.’
‘Holy fucking shit, are you kidding me?’
‘I wish I was.’
‘Show me his photo. Have you got one?’
I go into the back of my bag and take out a battered photograph showing my mum, me and Mitch. Though he’s younger on the picture, there’s no mistaking him from how he looks now.
‘Jeez, that’s your stepfather? Yep I’ve seen him. Not very often but he sometimes walks around. Always has a sneer on his face. I thought he was a bouncer.’
‘No that’s my lovely stepfather. Anyway, you were saying.’
‘The Rodeo. I love it there. An old boyfriend got me hooked on the place. Hey hooked, get it?’
I shake my head at her bemused.
‘Anyway, I didn’t mention it to you cos I knew you wouldn’t approve, well the you before Gabe wouldn’t approve. He knows I go there by the way. I’ve seen him.’
Another secret. How many more things don’t I know?
‘But going to meet rich men to cover your missing allowance -’
‘I only do rich men anyway Stella, you daft bint. I need a big package in wallet and dick.’
The Alphabet Game the Complete Alpha Series a to X, Y, Z Page 8
