by Speer, Flora
“What other explanation can there be for what has happened to you?”
“I don’t know.” She ran her hands through her hair. “I’ve thought and thought and I can’t come up with any answers. All I remember is what I’ve just told you.”
“You have acted as though you belong in this time.” To Aline’s dismay, he began to look doubtful. If Adam didn’t believe her story, if he turned away from her, what would she do? Perhaps, if she told him more about her background, that would help.
“If I seem to be in my natural time,” she said, “it’s Gramps’ doing.” She explained about the museums Gramps had taken her to and the books he had read to her and her sister. “Luce never cared much about history, but I devoured everything Gramps said and every book he wanted me to read. He even talked about medieval Christmas customs, though I didn’t know you waited so long to light the Yule log.”
“I think I am no coward,” Adam said, “but what you have just told me frightens me.”
“It frightens me, too,” she admitted. Still unclothed, she began to shiver. “Please tell me you believe me.”
“I believe that you believe what you have said.” He put his arms around her, holding her close. “I know an honest woman when I meet one. There is no guile in you. There must be some other explanation than deceit for what you have told me.”
“Thank you. It’s so good to tell someone about this.” Afraid she would begin to cry, she broke away from him to stand facing a corner of the room, with one hand over her mouth. A wooden chest sat in the corner, the kind used in the twelfth century to store clothing. Adam’s tunics and extra hose were probably in there. The chest had a finely carved front panel. On top of it sat a – and a Book of Hours. Aline let out a wild cry.
“Adam!” Seizing the book, she held it out to him. “Whose book is this?”
“It was Judith’s.” He took it from her.
“I haven’t opened it, have I? And I have not been in this room until you brought me here.”
“That’s true.”
“Take the book to the candle there, where you can see it better, and open it to the December page. I will describe the painting to you.”
“Are you saying this is the same Book of Hours?”
“It’s a test for me, Adam. Open it!”
Sitting down upon the bed, he did as she commanded and she gave him every detail of the December painting. When she was done she was shivering so hard she couldn’t stand. She knelt in front of him, both of them naked, the book in Adam’s hand.
“This is the book you were reading in the library,” he said. “the very same book. What can it mean?”
“Perhaps it means that there is some reason why I was sent backward in time,” she suggested. “Some purpose. To bring Blaise and Connie together?”
“Or were you sent to comfort me in my loneliness?” he asked. “Am I important enough to receive such a benediction? No, I do not think so.”
“Perhaps we will never know,” she said. “Perhaps my being here is a Christmas blessing and nothing more.”
“A blessing is not nothing. Will you stay with me?” he asked. “Or will a day come when you must return to your own time?”
They gazed at each other wordlessly, until Adam put down the book and lifted Aline off her knees and into his arms, to make love to her again. Afterward, she slept on his broad chest and did not dream at all.
Chapter 4
“Aline, I have made a decision,” Adam said. They were still in his room, drinking hot spiced wine and eating bread and cheese that he had commanded be brought to them. “I will not delay as I might otherwise have done. I will reject caution and say what is in my heart and I ask you to do the same, for if we wait, we may not have the chance again. We have known each other but a few days, yet in that short time you have stormed the ramparts of a heart I thought was safe against passion. You have given me new hope and made me feel young again. Last night we asked what your presence at Shotley, in a time not your own, could mean. Perhaps it was for this that you came.”
He approached Aline where she stood by the brazier in her borrowed blue gown, with her hair down around her shoulders. Outside the snowstorm still raged, but in his chamber it was warm.
“I love you, Aline. In proof, I give you t his ring.” He took it off his hand and held it out to her, a gold band with a carved design of a flower on it, centered with a small red stone. “I had a sister once, who died in childbirth when she was but fifteen. This was hers. I had it stretched to fit my little finger and I’ve worn it ever since that time. Now, I want you to have it.”
His hands were much larger than Aline’s so she put the ring on the index finger of her left hand.
“I will treasure it,” she said. “But, Adam, I have nothing to give you in return.”
“Did you not hear what I just said?” he asked. “You have made me laugh again. You’ve shown me that I am not too old to love. With you I have found a tenderness and passion unlike anything I have ever known before. What greater gifts could there be than those?”
“But you’ve done the same for me, so it’s a fair exchange, and I am still in your debt,” she murmured, wishing she could promise to remain with him forever and be certain the promise could be kept.
“Give me your heart,” he said, “as I have given you mine, and we’ll be even.”
“You have it.” She looked into his eyes. “I once swore I would never again take the chance of being hurt by love, but I do love you, Adam. My heart is yours.”
The kiss he gave her in response to this declaration was long and deep, and when it was over, she clung to him.
“Adam, if I am taken away from you,” she began, then paused at the tightening of his arms. “No, listen to me. Let me say it. If I am taken from you, I want you to find someone else to love.”
“I could not,” he declared. “In all my life, you are the only woman I have ever loved.”
“But don’t you see, it would give me pain to think of you left here alone, grieving for me. More than anything else, I want you to be happy, Adam.”
“I will promise this only if you swear to do the same,” he said. “You are made for love. If we are separated, do not live out your life alone.”
They were both in tears. Surely, never had two lovers found themselves in such a situation, intoxicated with newly discovered love, yet knowing that at any moment more than eight centuries might separate them forever. She could not bear to think of never seeing him again. How quickly he had become an integral part of her heart – and how he had lightened that heart, until old and recent griefs alike had begun to loosen their grip on her, leaving her free to love Adam completely and joyfully – and unselfishly.
“I swear that I will love you until I die,” she said. “But if we are parted, I will do as you wish. But, Adam, even if I learn to love another, I will never forget you and what we share here and now.”
“So do I also swear.” He took both her hands in his and, leaning forward, kissed her full on the mouth. “Thus do I seal my pledge to you.
“And now, my dear lady let us go from this room to greet the new day as if we had the hope of many happy years together, for I hope and pray we have.”
She sensed that he could not tolerate much more emotional talk about their possible parting or he would forget his position as strong lord of the castle and battle-hardened knight. She did not want to see his pride so broken, nor could she endure the thought of separation from him. Together they would pretend that she was at Shotley for an extended visit and thus maintain their composure. She took the hand he held out to her and answered him as lightly as she could.
“Indeed, my dearest lord, let us discover what this day holds for us.”
They found the great hall nearly empty. A few maidservants were there, shaking crumbs off the tablecloths into the rushes on the floor and then replacing the cloths so the tables could be set for the midday feast.
“We will keep holiday state until Twe
lfth Night,” Adam told Aline, “with a great feast each midday that will last until evening, and whatever entertainment we can make for ourselves. Some years we have a minstrel to sing for us or tell stories, but the foul weather has kept such wanderers away this season. Still, we can rely on Blaise to sing for us.”
Blaise did not look as if he would care to sing anytime soon. He stood before the nearer fireplace with a flagon of beer in one hand and a sullen look on his face. For Adam he had a brief greeting, for Aline a glare and an accusation.
“What right have you to interfere in my marriage?” he demanded. “You have been filling my wife’s head with nonsense.”
“You will speak more politely to our guest,” Adam commanded. “I asked Aline to speak to Connie – er, Constance – to try to discover why she is so unhappy, and if there is some way to help her, and you, to be more contented.”
Blaise fell silent. Aline knew he loved and respected his father, so she didn’t think he would take offense at what Adam had just said. With Adam backing her, she dared to speak what was on her own mind.
“It’s not just your marriage, Blaise. It’s Connie’s marriage, too, and if either of you is unhappy, the other partner will also be unhappy. Notice I said partner. I know the law says your wife belongs to you, but Connie is something more than chattel. She is a person, with hopes and dreams of her own.”
“How dare you?” Blaise began. Aline gave him no chance to go further with what, judging from the look on his face, would become a blistering attack.
“Have you ever taken Connie to Normandy?” she asked.
“Why should I?” demanded Blaise. “She would only weep and complain, and I shudder to think what crossing the Narrow sea would be like with her. She’d be seasick all the way.”
“You won’t know that for sure until you give her the chance to be sick, or not be sick,” Aline told him. “Did you know that Connie longs to travel?”
“She does?” Blaise looked baffled. “No, I did not know that.”
“Did you ever ask her about it? Or ask her opinion on any other subject?”
“I did at first, but she only stammered and got confused, so I stopped.”
“She wants to please you,” Aline said. “She’s afraid to voice her own opinions for fear you won’t approve of them.”
“She was not afraid last night.” Blaise looked sullen again. “She told me exactly what she thought of what I was doing.”
“Did she?” Aline smiled at him. “I’m glad to hear it. You are making progress, then.”
“Aline is right,” Adam said. “In my opinion, you have been too high-handed in your treatment of your wife. Be kinder to her, speak more gently. She’s like a skittish foal who needs a gentle hand to reassure her that you won’t hurt her.”
“As you were gentle with my mother?” said Blaise in a sarcastic tone.
“Judith was a different kind of woman. We understood each other well.” Adam took a deep breath, glanced at Aline, and went on. “A man can learn from his mistakes, Blaise, and the wisest man of all learns from the mistakes of others. Connie loves you. Could you not learn to love her?”
With an angry exclamation Blaise tossed the remains of his beer into the fireplace. Throwing the flagon to a nearby servant, he stalked out of the hall without another word.
“My efforts to help only seem to cause more dissension,” Aline said to Adam.
“Our efforts, my dear. Blaise till calm down and think on what we have said. You may have done more good than you know.”
“We,” she reminded him.
“Aye, sweet lady.” He pulled her into his arms, heedless of the knowing glances of the servants. “You and I, together.”
At this point, Connie came into the hall from the kitchen entrance. She was wearing her plain grey wool dress and her linen coif. Her eyes were swollen and red, as if she had been weeping.
“Talk to her,” Adam urged. “Try to encourage her.”
“Adam, perhaps Blaise is right and we are interfering too much.”
“I cannot live in a household where there is such unhappiness. Aline, if you would not see me driven from my own home to find peace elsewhere, then help me to help them.”
“All right. For your sake, I’ll try.” Aline fell silent. Connie had seen her and came rushing across the hall to her. Adam discreetly moved away to talk to the captain of the guard, who had just appeared, all covered with snow.
“I told Blaise how I feel about his too-impetuous lovemaking,” Connie whispered to Aline. “And he tried to please me. I know he did, but he need was so urgent that I became frightened and began to cry, which made him angry. Oh, Aline, I have failed him again.”
She burst into tears on Aline’s shoulder. Aline provided the only comfort she could think of at the moment.
“It was just one night, Connie. Try again. You will have to teach Blaise how to please you. From what I saw of him on Christmas Eve and yesterday, I think he does want to make you happy.”
Aline could hardly believe she was offering marital advice as if she knew what she was talking about. Although, after her night with Adam, she did feel much more competent on the subject of lovemaking. Recalling the bold way in which he had taken possession of her body and her own eager response to him, she felt herself grow warm. She glanced across the room to where Adam was listening to the captain of the guard. Over the shorter man’s head, Adam’s eyes met hers. She could see the banked passion in his gaze and knew his thoughts were similar to hers. He, too, recalled their night together with pleasure and looked forward to the coming night with burning anticipation. And this – this remembered joy and hope for its renewal – was what he wanted for his son and daughter-in-law. Aline tore her eyes from his face to take Connie by the shoulders and hold her at arm’s length.
“Why are you wearing this dull mourning gown when today is a holiday? Come with me, Connie. We are going to dress you in something more suitable.”
When they returned to the hall an hour later, Connie was once more gowned in bright green silk with the necklace Blaise had given her adorning her slender throat.
“Now remember,” Aline told her, “don’t give up. Keep trying. Sooner or later, you will get it right.”
She watched Connie walk up to Blaise and take his arm and smile at him. She saw Blaise look down at his wife with some surprise before he spoke to her. And then Aline turned her full attention to Adam.
* * *
The days of feasting and reveling and nights of passionate love flew by. As soon as the heavy snow ended, beggars appeared at the castle gates, for word of a generous lord traveled fast among the folk who lived along the roads. There were some who came to ask for work as well as food, and those whom he could use, Adam accepted into his household.
“I trust this problem has been alleviated in your time?” he said to Aline one day when she had accompanied him on his morning visit to the outer gate.
“I am ashamed to say that in the treatment of such unfortunate souls I see little difference between your time and mine,” she admitted. “If you were to walk down any city street in my country, you would see homeless beggars with their bowls, and many of them with their children.”
“Some of these are ill or maimed,” Adam said. “Father John and our barber-surgeon will help as best they can.”
“It’s the same in my time,” she responded. “Churches, hospitals, various charitable organizations try to help, but the supply of poor seems endless.”
“The scripture says we will always have the poor with us. Perhaps they are sent to us to test the degree of our charity. I try not to fail in my duty to them. We are especially bidden to help at this holy season. Even at castles where beggars are turned away at other times, they are given food and a night’s lodging at Christmastide.”
She watched him squat down to wrap a shawl around a little boy in tattered rags, watched him hand an apple to the boy and send him off with a pat on the head to where his mother was feeding her other
children from a large bowl of hot vegetable stew.
“You are a good man, Adam of Shotley,” she said, taking his arm with pride.
“I do what I can,” he replied humbly, ”but it is never enough.” His somber mood lightened when they returned to the great hall, where he saw Blaise and Connie talking to each other with unusual animation.
“I see some hope there,” he said to Aline. “Connie grows warmer by the day.”
They feasted again all that afternoon and into the evening. And when night had come, Adam took Aline to his bedchamber, where he made love to her until it was almost daylight.
She had kept her original guest room as a place to which she could retreat for privacy when Adam was occupied in his chamber with Blaise or the captain of the guard, or with any of the other men of the castle who came to him to discuss its administration. Adam was on good terms with the priest, Father John, and he also had a cleric, Robert, who acted as his secretary. In addition, Adam and Blaise spent a lot of time together each day, Adam having given his son a fair amount of responsibility for the castle defenses. Somehow, Adam managed to stay up-to-date with all of his lordly duties and still have the afternoons free for the feasts his people expected of him. The nights he kept for Aline.
She made no secret of her feelings for him. She was deeply and passionately in love with him and she would not allow herself to think of being parted from him. Having arrived in the twelfth century, and having made a reasonable adjustment to her new life, she prayed daily to be allowed to remain where she was.
Her days were busy. She had begun to help Connie with the domestic chores, which during this season consisted mainly of supervising the cooking and serving of enormous amounts of food for each day’s banquet, and the cleaning of the resulting mess in the kitchen and great hall so preparations could begin for the next feast. As Aline had noticed soon after her arrival at Shotley, for all her timidity with Blaise, Connie was a competent chatelaine and the servants willingly obeyed her. Only the temperamental cook occasionally challenged Connie’s authority in the matter of food, but even she accepted offers of help with peeling or chopping, or the apparently endless grinding of ingredients with mortar and pestle. Aline quickly learned how to be helpful, for she did not find the castle kitchen greatly different from the old-fashioned one that she remembered in her grandparents’ house when she was a girl.
