by Anna Jacobs
Ryan grinned at her. “Don’t worry. There’s an underground car park at work and it has two entrances. They’re at opposite sides, so he can’t watch them both. We’ll lose him there.”
“Good. I’m sorry you had to be involved in this, though.”
“I’m not. If we’re together, then we’re there to help one another through thick and thin.”
“Oh, Ryan.” She kissed him, then squared her shoulders. “Let’s go and sort things out then. The sooner we leave the happier I’ll be.”
* * * *
Deb lay in the darkness, unable to sleep, listening in case Gran got up. She heard Angie turn over and sigh, so whispered, “Are you awake?”
“Yes. I was trying not to wake you.”
“I can’t sleep. I’m a bit nervous - of looking after Gran, I mean.”
“So am I.”
“You seemed so confident.”
“Well, what else could we do? Don’t you think Pop would want us to keep her here till after the funeral? I’m absolutely certain of that.”
“Yes. But still . . . ”
“We’ll manage. And Deb . . . it was good to see you on better terms with your mother tonight.”
“And you with yours.”
“Yeah. Families aren’t always easy, are they?”
They both sighed at exactly the same moment, then giggled.
“We’ll be no good tomorrow if we don’t get some sleep.” Angie yawned and turned over. Soon she was breathing deeply.
But Deb slept only fitfully. She was more than nervous, she was plain scared of the responsibility - and wasn’t looking forward to physically caring for an old woman, either. Her father would have paid someone to do it, she was sure, but no one here had even hesitated to dob her and Angie in to do the job. And she’d found she couldn’t say no, not with everyone looking at her like that.
Besides . . . Pop would have wanted it. She was sure of that.
It was all too hard for her lately. She didn’t know where she stood about anything.
* * * *
Ryan picked up the phone. He was dreading making this call, but was determined to do it before he left Australia. It’d be about eight-thirty in the morning in the UK, which should be a good time to catch his mother, who was an inveterate early riser.
“Hallo? Oh, it’s you, Mum. Good.”
“Ryan. How are you?”
“Fine. We fly out later today, so I’ll be with you in a day and a half.”
“We?”
“Yes. That’s the complication I had to talk to you about. Mum, you’re not going to like this, but I’ve got together with Caitlin.” He waited.
“Caitlin. Do I know - Ryan, you can’t mean her?”
“Yes. I do mean Caitlin Sheedy.” The silence at the other end went on and on. “Mum?”
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing. She was your father’s mistress, for heaven’s sake! And she’s carrying his child.”
“No, not now. She lost it a couple of days ago.”
Silence, then, “Is that supposed to make it any better? I still don’t want to see her. She broke up my marriage.”
“She didn’t. Dad did that long before he met her. Anyway, I can’t leave her behind so it’s either come with her or not come. She’s in a fragile state and her family are giving her hell. Now isn’t the time to explain her and Dad, but we will once we’re there in person. And Mum, when you hear what happened between them, you’ll understand it better, I promise you.”
“Will I?”
“Yes. Definitely. Mum, please. Give her a chance. For my sake.”
“Leave her behind, Ryan. I don’t need this.”
“I can’t. Her sicko cousin is pestering her and she’s in no state to be left alone. Mum, I love her. Really love her. And she loves me.”
Another silence. He tried desperately to think of some way of softening her attitude towards Caitlin. “I’m so sorry. I knew this would hurt you, Mum, but I couldn’t deceive you about it, or about anything else. I’m not like Dad.”
“I’ll see you at the funeral.”
She gave him the details then slammed the phone down.
Taking a deep breath he went into the bedroom where Caitlin was waiting for him.
She turned round, saw his face and said, “Oh, Ryan!”
He walked over to take her in his arms and rock her to and fro for the sheer comfort of it. “I’ve never heard my mother sound so bitter.”
“You can’t really blame her. I should stay in Australia and - ”
“No! If you stay here, so do I.” He looked down at her. “I won’t back down on this. You’re the most important thing in my life now, so if Mum rejects you, she rejects me as well. Only . . . I hope we can sort it out, because I love her very much. I think she’ll come round when she understands, hope she will . . . ”
“I hope so too.”
“Right then. Soon as I’ve sat on my suitcase, we’ll go across and get the rest of your things.”
* * * *
Laura turned away from the phone and burst into tears, weeping so loudly that Kit came hurrying in from his office, where he’d been trying to settle down to writing - trying and failing, because he kept worrying about Laura instead.
“What’s happened? I heard the phone ring.” He took her in his arms and she sobbed against him. When she made no attempt to speak, just continued to weep, he shook her a little. “Laura, tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help if you don’t tell me.”
“You can’t help with this. No one can.”
He took her through to the sitting room in the end and sat down with her on the new sofa, letting her sob against him until the tears gradually stopped. “What is it?”
She mopped her eyes with a tissue and in broken phrases told him Ryan’s news.
“What the hell’s got into him?”
“She has!”
“Is she some sort of sex goddess?”
Laura bent her head, picturing Caitlin Sheedy, tumbling red hair, unfashionably cut, eyes swollen with weeping, slender and vulnerable looking. “No. I wish she were. It’d be easier to hate her then. She seemed - vulnerable. When I saw her at least. I still can’t understand why Craig left me for her. She wasn’t his usual type. And now Ryan . . . ”
“Does your son fall in love regularly? Is this likely to be a temporary infatuation?”
She shook her head. “No, he’s never been in love before - at least, not that I know of, and I think he’d have told me.”
“Then it must be serious.”
She nodded. “I told him not to bring her near me.”
It was Kit’s turn to fall silent, then he said slowly, “You’ll have to see her eventually.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s your son and you love him.”
Her voice was savage. “Not if he stays with her, I don’t.”
“You’re over-reacting, Laura.”
“I’ve a lot to over-react about, don’t you think?”
The phone rang again. She pulled herself away from him. “I’ll go. It might be Deb.”
It was. “How are things going with Gran, Deb?”
“We’re managing, but it’s gross, Mum. She can’t even go to the toilet on her own. Auntie Sue’s coming over later this morning, so I wondered if you’d come and help me with the shopping and stuff. It’s a bit hard without a car.”
“Yes.”
“Mum? Are you all right?”
“Not exactly. I’ll tell you about it when I see you. About eleven?”
When Kit appeared in the doorway Laura was still holding the phone, standing there like a lost soul.
“Like a bit of company?”
She shook her head. “No. What I’d really like - if you don’t mind - is to have some quiet time to think about - things. Oh, and I need to go out and get some food for Angie and Deb later this morning. Will that be all right?”
“Of course it will. You know you don’t have to ask.”
“I don’t feel as if I know anything any more.” She turned to stack some dishes into the dishwasher, relieved when he returned to his office. Found herself standing there some time later, still holding the dishes, her thoughts churning round and round.
Ryan couldn’t do this to her, he just couldn’t!
Craig’s death had left them with a nest of adders, it seemed, and one after the other was rearing its head and biting deep.
What was Deb going to say to it all when she heard?
Chapter 29
Sue sat in her immaculate house and itched to clean it. But she didn’t let herself start or she’d never stop. It was stupid to have your whole life ruled by an obsession. Stupid!
She got up and went to stare out of the window. The garden was immaculate too. That was the word the counsellor had told her to hang on to. Immaculate. It helped a bit. The pills helped a bit. And Trev was helping most of all. She didn’t know what it’d be like when Angie came back to live here. Her daughter was as innately untidy as she herself was tidy.
Untidy isn’t the same as dirty. Another of the catchphrases. Only that one was harder to believe in.
She went to look in the mirror, but there wasn’t a hair out of place. She hadn’t put on any make-up today, didn’t want to.
Sighing she went and switched on the television, wondering if she’d be better off going back to work, but knowing she couldn’t cope yet.
By ten-thirty she could bear it no longer. Putting on her coat, she picked up her car keys and set off for her dad’s house. Trev had offered to take time off work and drive her over there later, but she knew she had to do this on her own. It would show she was getting control of herself again. At least she hoped she was.
She parked the car in front of the house just behind her father’s car. Oh heavens, they’d have to do something about the car as well. Slowly, feeling as if her legs were made of wood she walked down the little path to the front door.
Deb opened it. “Thank goodness you’ve come, Auntie Sue! Angie isn’t well and I can’t cope with Gran on my own.”
“What’s wrong with Angie?”
“The usual monthly stuff. Is she always this bad?”
“Yes. Always has been.”
“She should take extra magnesium. It might help. Do you have any pain killers on you? She took the last one after you’d gone yesterday.”
“No. Do you drive? Right then, go and get some pain killers - and you may as well get her some magnesium too.” Sue gave directions to the nearest chemist’s, fished a twenty pound note out of her purse and held out the car keys.
Deb took them and hesitated. “You’ll be all right on your own with Gran?”
“Yes.”
Sue waited till Deb had driven away then walked down the narrow hall towards the kitchen. Her mother appeared, ignoring her completely and walking into the front room. She wandered round it for a minute then went back, to wander round the kitchen in the same way, as if looking for something.
“Mum?”
For a moment her mother looked at her, then she pushed past Sue and went upstairs, where she wandered from one bedroom to the other.
Sue followed her and found Angie lying on the bed clutching a hot water bottle to her stomach. “Need anything? I’ve sent Deb out for some pain killers.”
“Thanks.”
“Why is Mum wandering about like this? Does she always do this?”
“No. I think she’s looking for Pop.”
“Oh.”
“She won’t eat, hits our hands away if we try to persuade her and it was like dealing with a naughty child trying to get her dressed this morning.” She hesitated, “Can you manage her for a bit? I know it upsets you but . . . ”
“I don’t know if I can, but I’ll try. You stay in bed till this passes.”
Angie groaned and curled up in a ball.
There was the sound of footsteps going slowly downstairs.
Sue took a deep breath. “Right, then.”
“Call out if you need me, Mum.”
Sue ran down and caught her mother in the kitchen. “Let’s have a cup of tea, eh?”
To her enormous relief her mother sat down and drank the cup of tea when it was set in front of her. She spilled some, but Sue wiped it up quickly. She looked round. This house was anything but immaculate. She could do a bit of cleaning and tidying while she was here, surely? That wouldn’t be unreasonable.
By the time the doorbell rang she’d persuaded her mother to drink another cup of tea and eat a piece of toast, and was starting on the washing up. She went to answer the door and found Laura there.
“How’s Mum?”
“Driving everyone crazy. Angie thinks she’s looking for Dad.”
“And you? You look a lot better today.”
Sue caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. “Do I? I look a mess to me.” She froze and listened. “She’s turned on the gas burners again. I don’t know how Pop coped with her on his own. You can’t turn your back for a minute.” She ran into the kitchen to switch the gas off.
Laura went to stand in the doorway, ready to hide in the front room. But today her mother ignored her, seeming agitated about something else.
They exchanged glances.
“She is missing Dad,” Sue said. “It’s the only possible explanation.”
“I am too. And - I’ve had some bad news from Australia.” She explained quickly.
Sue looked shocked. “You’ve had enough to bear. It isn’t fair of Ryan to bring her.”
There was the sound of the front door and Deb came in, gave her mother a quick, absent-minded hug and dumped a bag of shopping in the kitchen. “I’ll just take the pain killers up to Angie, shall I?”
Laura could hear the two girls chatting then Deb came down to join them.
“I picked up some food while I was out, just enough to see us through, so I needn’t have bothered you, Mum. But it’s - um - nice to see you anyway.”
“It’s nice to see you, too. I’m afraid I’ve got something to tell you, something better said face to face. Come into the front room. Sue, can you keep Mum away from us?”
“Shut the door. I’ll do my best.”
Looking apprehensive, Deb followed her mother into the front room.
“It’s about Ryan - ” Laura began.
“Not about you and Kit?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been watching the way you look at each other. It’s a bit soon to shack up with someone, don’t you think?”
Laura drew herself up. “It’s up to me if I want to shack up with someone and since your father hadn’t been near me for months, I don’t intend to measure things by the date of his death, thank you very much!”
“Oh.” Deb fiddled with the braid on the sofa arm, then muttered, “What about Ryan? Can’t he come?”
“Yes, he can. But he’s - bringing someone with him.” Laura hesitated but there was no getting out of saying it. “It’s Caitlin.”
“Who? There was a long pause, then, “Not Dad’s Caitlin?”
“Yes. Apparently she and Ryan are an item now.”
Deb gaped at her. “I don’t believe you.”
Laura shrugged. “Believe what you want, but he’s bringing her. She’s lost the baby and he says she’s being harassed by a cousin. He says he’s in love with her and she with him.”
Deb swallowed hard. “She can’t have loved Dad then.”
“No. I don’t think so, either. I’m not having anything to do with her but you must make your own decision. I just wanted to - warn you.” She stood up. “If I’m not needed, I’ll get back. I do have a job to go to.”
Deb sat there for a while, then went into the kitchen again. “Auntie Sue, I need to use the phone.”
But Ryan’s phone in Australia rang on until the answering service cut in. She put the receiver down and looked at her aunt. “I can’t believe Ryan’s shacked up with Dad’s ex-mistress. Is that sick or what?”
Sue
shook her head. “It’s unbelievable.”
“Is it all right if I go out for a couple of hours? I need to get my head together about this.”
“Yes. You go. Angie can help me at a pinch.”
“Gran seems better with you than she is with me. It’s as if she recognises you.”
After she’d gone, Sue stood looking at her mother. What had she been afraid of? This was just Mum, or the shell of Mum. It must all have been part of Sue’s own illness to refuse to see her parents. She looked round. The kitchen wasn’t immaculate, but it looked a lot better. She would sit down and have a rest for a minute or two before she got on with things.
It made her twitchy to leave things unfinished even for a few minutes, but she thought she could cope with that.
* * * *
When Laura returned, still looking furiously angry, Kit followed her into the kitchen. “You look upset. Anything I can do to help?”
Her tone was icily polite. “No, thank you.”
He went back into his office, angry at the way she was shutting him out, but couldn’t settle to work. From the kitchen came banging of pans and clattering of crockery. He looked at the clock. Nearly lunchtime. Perhaps they’d be able to talk then.
There was a knock on his door and Laura poked her head through. “All right if I bring your lunch in here on a tray? I’m behind on everything and it’ll be easier if I don’t have to work round you.”
What could he do but agree?
When she brought the tray, she dumped it on the table and whisked out again without saying anything beyond, “There you are.” He let out a long, low whistle. He hadn’t realised she had such a temper, but if ever he’d seen a furious woman, this was one.
The food was as good as usual, though, and when the smell of baking wafted out from the kitchen he inhaled blissfully. Being in a bad mood clearly didn’t affect her cooking.
She came to fetch the tray, stony-faced, wearing a Leave me alone expression so he thanked her for the meal and went on the Internet, reading newspapers from round the world, but listening with half an ear to the noises Laura was making. Feet going upstairs at a run. Back door banging open and shut again. Vacuuming noises in the hall, kitchen and his bedroom.
She didn’t stop working. He couldn’t start. Whatever was wrong was building a wall between them, a wall that had begun to rise when his friends visited. But he didn’t feel he could press her for explanations until she’d buried her father.
