by Linda Ford
Nels had listened at the doorway and chuckled. “Tex, you old cowboy, you sure do know how to turn a gal’s head.”
Agnes hadn’t looked at either of them, knowing her cheeks had grown pink.
She prepared the stew and set it to simmer then went to the window. Shouldn’t Nels be back by now? What if? She would not picture him in the same state Tex had been. For one thing, he wouldn’t try and ride the bull. But the biscuits were in the oven and he still hadn’t returned. Pat and Clyde were still hitched to the plow. Poor things. She would bring them to the barn, but she didn’t like to leave the girls unsupervised. Nels, where are you?
“We’s hungry,” Hettie said.
“I know, but Uncle Nels isn’t here yet.”
“When’s he coming?” Lila asked. Her brow wrinkled. “Maybe he’s hurt, like Uncle Tex.”
“Here he comes.” Hettie yelled loud enough to waken her baby sister.
Agnes waited long enough to make sure he was okay then took care of the baby. Nels took care of Midnight before he came to the house.
“I had to round up the cows and persuade them to stay put,” he explained. “Tomorrow, I am going to town to find someone else to ride herd on them. I’ll tend Pat and Clyde before I come in for supper. Poor animals. But I wish the cows had half the sense they do.”
Hettie giggled. “They need to grow brains.”
“Is everything okay?” Tex called. “I can hear part of what’s going on but not enough to be sure.”
The girls rushed to the bedroom to report on the cows who didn’t have enough brains to stay where they should and the horses who did.
Tex laughed. “Agnes, I am getting up tomorrow. I hope Nels has some crutches ready but either way I am not staying in this bed any longer. And no point in arguing with me.”
“I wasn’t going to argue. I think it’s safe enough for you to be up so long as you don’t walk on that leg.”
“I don’t want to end up crippled, so I’ll be a good little boy.”
That sent the girls into peals of laughter.
Tex grinned, pleased with himself.
Nels stepped into the house, looking so weary that Agnes hurried over. “Sit down. Supper is ready.”
“You didn’t have to wait for me.”
She met his gaze. “I was worried when you didn’t come back. What if—” She tipped her head toward Tex’s room to indicate what she meant.
Nels raised his voice. “Not everyone is crazy enough to try and ride a bull.”
“Was a time I could do it,” Tex called.
“Yeah, maybe twenty years ago.”
“Don’t rub it in.”
Nels chuckled and looked around the table. “I have to say I’m glad you did wait for me. It’s nice to share mealtime.”
“It is.” Agnes pushed aside all her secrets and worries and took the joy of the moment.
The next day, Nels brought in the crutches he had fashioned and helped Tex make it to the breakfast table. By the time Tex sat down, sweat beaded on his brow. Agnes knew she wouldn’t have to worry about him doing too much.
She served the meal. Lila brought the Bible to Nels.
He explained to Tex that the Bible had belonged to their parents. “They would want the girls to read from it every day but seeing as they can’t read yet, I read a verse every morning.”
“And Auntie Agnes reads us one at night.” Lila sounded content with the system.
“That’s nice.” Tex sniffed and blinked.
Nels opened the Bible. Agnes hadn’t figured out if he had a system to his reading or simply let his gaze fall on a random passage and read it.
“Here’s a verse I like.” He glanced round the table. “It’s another of my grandfar’s favorites.”
“He had lots of favorites,” Lila said.
Nels chuckled. “He certainly did.” He dipped his head to read the verse. ‘Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God.’”
“What about girls?” Lila sounded confused. “Doesn’t God love us too?”
Nels put his hand on Lila’s head. “Indeed He loves you. He loves all of us. I believe it means children of God. All of us.”
“I like that. Maybe it’s my favorite verse,” Lila said.
Tex sniffed again. “My mama, God rest her soul, used to read to us every day too. In fact, this is a lot like my family. There were three girls and me.”
“Where’s your family now?” Lila asked.
“I think I’m the only one left.”
“Can he be part of our family?” Lila looked from Agnes to Nels.
Agnes fought the allure of being family. How easily it could all be torn away.
“Sure he can,” Nels said, his gaze warning Agnes to let the girl enjoy the moment.
“Good. You like that?” Both Lila and Hettie looked anxious that Tex might refuse.
The old cowboy swiped at his nose. “That’s the best thing anyone ever offered me. Yes, I’d like that.”
Nels pushed from the table. “I need to find someone to ride herd on those cows.” He paused at the door to speak to Agnes. “I’ll be back.”
She met his gaze. Let him see her feelings and know she cared if he returned or not. “We’ll be here.”
His eyes darkened and his smile revealed his pleasure at reading her silent message and then he ducked out the door. A few minutes later, he rode away.
Tex wanted to sit outside so she moved a chair out for him and then made sure he could manage the crutches safely. He sank to the chair with a groan. “Didn’t think I’d ever feel this old.”
She patted his shoulder. “You’ll feel young again once your leg heals.”
“Wish I could believe that.”
Hettie and Lila sat at his feet and explained all the details of the tiny town and farmyard they had constructed.
Agnes glanced down the road in the direction Nels had gone then went inside to clean the kitchen and look after baby Merry. She prepared dinner, glancing often out the window. How long would it be before Nels returned? Would he be able to find someone to help him?
She waited as long as she could then fed her growing family dinner.
When Tex said, “He’ll be back,” she knew she hadn’t hidden her feelings well. Not that she could even say for certain what she felt. Worry, missing, wishing, wanting, all rolled up into one twisting knot.
She’d slowly been learning to trust God and ask Him for help. She prayed, God, would it be possible for me to be free of my fear of the past? Is there some way to make sure those accusations never come back to destroy what I have? And what I want? Only God could make her future free of her past. But not even He could erase the fact she was divorced. To most people, that meant she still had a husband.
She had finished cleaning the kitchen when she heard horses coming. She glanced out the window and saw Nels with a young man beside him. Afraid of how her heart reached out to him and fearing her expression would say far too much, she went to the stove and put on a fresh pot of coffee.
The door opened and Nels stepped in. “I found this young man. He’s anxious to work here.”
The young man followed Nels into the house.
“His name is Brayden Taks.”
Agnes gasped and the cup dropped from her hands. It shattered on the floor.
11
Nels sprang forward and led Agnes past the broken glass. “What’s wrong? You’re all white. Are you going to faint?”
She pushed aside his hands and crossed to where Braydon stood looking as flummoxed as did she.
“What’s going on?” Nels wondered if either of them heard him.
Agnes looked into the boy’s face. “Is it really you?” She touched his arm as if checking to see if he was real.
Braydon touched her shoulder. “Where did you go?”
With a cry, Agnes wrapped her arms around this stranger. “Oh, Ray. Ray. I’ve missed you so much.” Tears flowed unchecked down her
face.
Ray? Wasn’t that the name of the child she’d lost three years ago? But this was Braydon. Oh, now it made sense. Ray was short for Braydon.
Braydon stood motionless then, with a moan, put his arms around Agnes. The boy was head and shoulders taller than her. No longer a boy but obviously, still a part of her heart.
Nels smiled. “You’re the child she lost, aren’t you?”
Braydon nodded. “I was never told what happened to you. My father said…” He swallowed loudly. “He said you weren’t a suitable mother for me.”
Agnes nodded. “I know. There wasn’t anything I could do about it. Oh, how glad I am to see you.”
“It’s amazing that you two have found each other.”
Agnes broke from the embrace and wiped her eyes on her apron. “It’s an answer to prayer.”
The little girls stood in the doorway, eyes wide. Tex stood behind them, leaning on his crutches and looking curious.
“Everyone come in and sit down,” Nels said. “Aunt Agnes will explain who this is.” Later, he would ask her to explain what Braydon meant when he said his father had told him she wasn’t suitable. How could a dead husband say anything about her?
Braydon and Agnes clung to each other as they went to the table. She held his hand as they sat down. The girls scrambled to their chairs. Tex made his slow, careful way to the chair next to Braydon. Was this part of the secret that had her in its grip?
Agnes glanced around the table. Tears clung to her lashes.
Nels wanted to hold her in his arms and promise everything would be all right, but he didn’t know what it would take.
“Girls, Tex, Nels, when I was seventeen years old I married Braydon’s father. Ray, I always called him Ray. He was five years old and I loved him very much.” She smiled at the young man. “I still do.”
She grew still a moment. “Then three years ago something happened, and I lost him.”
Lila’s eyes grew round. “Can you lose us too?” Her voice shook. “I don’t want to be losted.”
Hettie let out a wail and clung to her sister’s side, her face pressed to Lila’s shoulders.
“It was my father’s doing.” Braydon’s voice was harsh, full of anger. “He sent her away.”
“Hush, Ray. Some things are best left unsaid.”
Nels stared at Agnes. She’d been lying to him all this time, letting him believe her husband was dead. He had a hard time not pushing away from the table, not asking for an explanation, but the girls were upset. Now was not the time or the place. He pulled Lila and Hettie to his knees. “You won’t get lost while I’m able to stop it.” He sent Agnes a challenging look.
She shook her head. Her eyes filled with warning. He could almost hear her say this is what I warned you about.
Only, what was it?
He set the girls down and pushed to his feet. There were things that had to be said, things that had to be resolved, but not now. “I’m going to show Braydon the cows and what he’s to do.”
“Will he join us for supper?”
Nels could not ignore the longing in Agnes’s voice. “For tonight, but then he will have to stay with the cows. That’s why I hired him.”
“Thank you.” Her gaze followed them outside.
He could ask Braydon to explain why the boy had been taken from Agnes, but he wanted to hear it from her. Hear the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
He and Braydon rode out to the cows. The boy had only a bare knowledge of how to work the animals, so Nels spent some time teaching him. “Mostly it’s just making sure they don’t go past the farm.”
“Why is that?”
“Because they run down the road. I guess they still remember where they used to live. And the other part is making sure they don’t go too far west and get mixed up with the Longhorns. Think you can manage that?”
“Yup. And thanks for giving me a chance to prove myself. My aunt wants me to stay in school, but I’ve had enough learning. I was real glad when she agreed to let me work for you.”
Nels chuckled. “I think she hoped a little hard work would persuade you to go back to school.”
“Not going back.” He turned in his saddle to study Nels. “I sure am surprised to see my mama. Never thought I ever would. Are you and her getting married?”
“I don’t think so.”
Thankfully the boy left it at that.
But there was one thing he had to know. “Where is your father now?”
“He died more’n two years ago.”
Nels couldn’t comprehend it all. So Agnes’s husband was dead now. But why had he sent her away? He must know the truth.
They stayed out until the sun dipped toward the west. Nels needed to make sure Braydon knew how to manage the cows. And he fought an internal battle, wanting to confront Agnes and get the whole story, but fearing what the truth would be.
The truth shall set you free. More wise words Grandfar had taught him. Words from the Bible.
Whatever the evening revealed, he knew his heart. He loved Agnes and would stand by her.
They rode toward the house, Braydon leaning forward.
“You’re anxious to see her.”
The boy sat back. “Guess I’m pretty obvious. But I can’t help it. Sometimes I think she’s the only person who has ever loved me.”
They reached the barn before Nels could think of an answer. He knew Agnes could love deeply and wished she could be free to love him.
Agnes waited at the door as they entered the house. She hugged Braydon and sniffed back tears. “I did my best to make your favorites.”
Nels looked at the table. Creamed carrots, chunks of potatoes in a sauce, a pile of fried pork, and the same chocolate cake pudding that he liked.
Braydon saw the food and laughed. “I haven’t had anything creamed since—” He didn’t finish but everyone understood his meaning—since he and Agnes had been separated.
They sat down, six of them around his table. All would be well if only he knew what had really happened. He asked the blessing and then they passed the food around.
“Seems you favor your food in sauce,” Tex observed.
“Guess I do. You don’t object, do you?”
Tex grinned. “Boy, I like my food any way I can get it, but especially prepared by a good cook and served at a table shared with those I’m fond of.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Nels heard a wagonload of longing in the boy’s voice. Braydon had been only ten when Agnes, whom he called his mother, had been torn from him. Nels’s heart ached for the boy. And for Agnes, who had lost the boy she loved.
As they finished the meal, Agnes looked down the table to Nels. “I know Braydon has to get back to the cows but I’d like to hear his story before he goes.”
“I’d like to hear it too. Girls, you stay here and keep an eye on Tex while Aunt Agnes and I talk with Braydon.”
Tex chuckled. “That’s going to keep you two busy.”
They giggled.
Nels led the way outside. They crossed the yard so their conversation wouldn’t be overheard. He had no desire to upset the girls.
“How did you find me?” Agnes asked. “Did your father bring you?”
“Father died a few months after you left so now Aunt Millicent is now my only guardian.”
At his words, Agnes turned so white that Nels wondered if she felt ill. “I didn’t know,” she whispered.
Braydon continued. “My aunt’s the new teacher in Grassy Plains. I had no choice but to come with her.” He laughed though Nels wondered if the sound carried a note of mockery or regret. He sobered and looked at Agnes. “She’s sure going to be surprised when she learns you’re here.”
“I’m afraid she is.” Agnes’s voice lacked its usual strength.
Why did the two of them seem so concerned about the new teacher?
“I’m just glad you’re here.” Agnes hugged Braydon.
“Me too.” He turned to Nels. “Thanks
for giving me a job.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I guess I better go do it.” Braydon kissed Agnes on the cheek then rode away. He paused at the top of the hill and waved.
Both Nels and Agnes waved back.
Agnes took a step toward the house but Nels caught her arm. “I’d like to hear the rest of the story.”
She slowly faced him. “I wish you didn’t have to, but now that Braydon is here and Millicent is the teacher, I don’t suppose there is any way I can keep my secret. Can we walk as we talk?”
Side by side, they walked toward the road. She slowly began. “Like I said, I married Truman when I was seventeen. Ray was five. I don’t think he remembers his own mother.” Her voice shook. “I was the only mother he had.”
Feeling the tension in her voice, Nels pulled her arm around his.
“We never had children of our own. If we had, perhaps things would have turned out differently.”
“You told me your husband was dead.”
“He is. Now. But you’re right. I didn’t know he was. I let you believe it because it was easier than admitting I’m divorced.”
That didn’t explain what had happened. “I don’t understand. Braydon said his father sent you away.”
“Truman didn’t spend much time with me…us. When Ray was ten I took him to Independence to see a wagon train leave. It was an emotional day for me as my parents had taken me to see the same thing on my tenth birthday. I remembered how exciting it was to watch the commotion and see those brave families packing all their hopes and dreams into a little wagon and heading out on a trip that would take them several months. I wanted Ray to share that experience with me. And I wanted to remember when my parents were alive.
“Ray and I explored. I remember one particular scene. A mule was putting on quite a show and kicking at the driver. Watching them was a young couple with a baby. The man held the woman so close and I overheard her say, ‘Are we doing the right thing? So many things could go wrong.’ The man put his arm around her and pressed his cheek to her head. ‘My love, so long as we are together we can face whatever the future holds. We are safe in God’s hands and safe in each other’s heart.’ I teared up. I longed for such a relationship but instead, Truman was distant and often away. ‘But we have no home now,’ the woman said. The man smiled so tenderly it hurt my heart. ‘My home is with you whether we live in a palace or a covered wagon. Being with you is what matters.’ She touched his cheek and smiled and said, ‘And as long as I am with you I am more than content.’ I’ve often thought of the sweetness of that young couple. And wondered if they made it safely to their destination and if their love survived.”
