All My Tomorrows

by Karen D. Badger

  Maggie sat beside Jordan, totally captivated by her words.

  Jordan continued. "Everything was dark at first. No light. No sound. It was a total void. It felt like I was suspended and motionless. It was really quite terrifying the first time, and just when I was convinced I would die of fear alone, the space around me exploded into a multi-colored light show with the colors moving in and around each other like a giant kaleidoscope.

  “I felt myself being drawn toward the hole in the center of this light show. Interestingly enough, the fear I was feeling simply evaporated. The colors were amazing. I found myself experiencing the colors in ways I didn't know were possible. I could not only see them, but I could feel, smell and taste them as well. Red was warm. Yellow was soft and silky. Green was tart, and blue felt like a gentle breeze. Lavender smelled like the air after a rainstorm. It was very stimulating.

  “As I approached the end of this tunnel, everything became calm and peaceful. My heart and mind were filled with a sense of tranquility. At one point, it was so peaceful, I actually wondered if I had died during the transfer, but then suddenly, everything changed and I landed with a thud on the floor of the barn. It took me a minute or two to regain my bearings, but there I was, sitting in your barn behind the hay bales."

  "Were you dressed?" Maggie asked.

  "What kind of question is that?" Jordan replied.

  "Well, in the Terminator movies, the time travelers arrived naked."

  "Terminator movies?"

  Maggie grinned. "Oh, yeah. I forgot. That would have been way before your time. Hell, the first one was made even before I was born, but they're classic time-travel movies. We'll have to watch one when we get back to the house. We can download them on-demand from the television. By the way, Linda Hamilton is really hot in those movies, but I digress. So, when you landed, that's when you saw the winch falling toward me and you jumped up to save the day?"

  "I wish it was that simple," Jordan said. "The first time I landed, my implant wasn't working and I was totally immobile. I had to drag myself to the tack room to leave a message for Kale to retrieve me."

  "You actually had a way to communicate with Kale and Andi?"

  "Yes. There's a loose board on the floor beneath the bench in the tack room. I actually found it when I was a kid. We agreed that if I put something made of stone in the cubby that it meant I needed to be retrieved, and if I put something metal in there, it meant I arrived okay. So, unable to walk, I dragged myself to the tack room and found a whetstone, which I put in the cubby."

  Jordan began to laugh.

  "What's so funny?"

  "Kale and Andi are pretty much city folk. They had no idea what a whetstone was and had to look it up in a catalog before they realized I was in trouble."

  "So, why did the implant fail?"

  "Interestingly enough, it was working again when I returned to the future. When I got back, we went to see a physics professor at the university and he told us the electro-magnetic fields I experienced through the transfer process cancelled out the electrical impulses transmitted by the implant. Further transfers were put on hold at that point until we could design a faraday shield to protect the implant."

  "Further transfers? How many times did you do it?"

  "Three, no, make that four times, but the final trip was made by an older version of me, just about a week ago when I finally got there in time to catch you before you fell over the cliff."

  "Okay, slow, down, you're confusing me. You traveled here four times?" Maggie asked.

  "Yes. I've already explained the first trip, when the implant failed. The second trip was made and I arrived just moments before you saddled Shawny for that fateful ride… only I didn't realize it at the time. After you left, I spent some time looking around the barn and exploring the barn yard while I waited for you to come back, but when Shawny suddenly galloped into the corral without you I realized I was too late. I was devastated.

  "I made some adjustments to the transfer algorithm before the third trip back in order to get me here six months sooner. The me you see before you now, arrived during that transfer."

  "Wait a minute. You're confusing me here. Did you just say the you I see before me arrived during the third transfer?"

  "Yes."

  "But you said there were four transfers. I don't remember you leaving and coming back again," Maggie said.

  "Let me finish and I think it will become clearer. So where was I? Oh, yeah, the obituary said you died from a fall in March of 2019, and I actually arrived near the end of September, 2018. I arrived just before the winch fell from the rafters and nearly hit you."

  "Was I supposed to die that day?" Maggie asked.

  "No. You actually penned a diary entry for that day indicating you saw the winch falling and managed to mostly get out of the way of it. It apparently nicked you on the shoulder and back and fractured a couple of ribs, but you survived."

  "I survived, only to die six months later, it seems," Maggie said.

  "Yes. As I was saying, I arrived in September of 2018 and saved you from being hit by the winch, which according to your diaries, I didn't really have to do, but at least it saved you from having to deal with the rib fractures. As you know, you hired me on as a farm hand and as over the next six months we fell in love."

  Maggie squeezed Jordan's hand. "Yes, we did," she said.

  Jordan smiled and kissed the back of Maggie's hand. "Anyway, according to your obituary, you died on the morning of March 29, 2019. As luck would have it, I apparently overslept and was just minutes too late to keep you from falling over the cliff."

  "But… but you weren't too late," Maggie said. "You actually did save me."

  "Maggie, after we returned to the farm that morning, I rode back out to the edge of the cliff to look around. While I was there, I had a vision of myself racing across the plains trying to get to you on time, only to meet Shawny coming toward me with no rider, and knowing I was too late. You died in my arms. My God, Maggie, it tore my heart out. I wanted to lie down and die beside you."

  "But, Jordan, that never happened. You reached me in time."

  "On the morning you were supposed to die, I heard a loud bang as someone threw open our bedroom door and it hit the wall. I sat up in bed and saw this old woman standing in the doorway. I will never forget what she said to me. She said, Jordan, get your ass out of bed. Go after her, now. Quickly, or you'll lose her forever. I remember asking her who she was and she said, never mind who I am, just hurry. For God's sake, please hurry. She just rode off. You have very little time.

  "I realize now the older woman was me. Don't you see… I overslept and failed to save you on the third trip and yes — you died in my arms. I must have convinced Kale to send me back one more time to make sure the younger me woke up soon enough to save you. You know what happened next, Maggie. I reached you with just seconds to spare and stopped you from falling over the cliff. The memory I have of you dying in my arms must have been the older Jordan's memory — not mine."

  "So there were two of you here at the same time?" Maggie asked.

  "It appears so, which explains why the old woman backed out of the way to let me pass. You see, matter can't occupy the same physical space more than once at the same time. Physics also dictates that you cannot occupy the present and the past at the same time nor the present and the future at the same time. If she had touched me, there's no telling what might have happened."

  "Jesus, Jordan. This is giving me the creeps."

  "I can understand why you feel that way, Maggie, but believe me, everything I'm telling you is the truth. Oh, and something else I haven't told you yet. When I was holding your collar to keep you from going over the cliff, I felt this tingling in my body, just like I felt every time Kale retrieved me from the past.

  "I was so worried he would pull me back before I had a chance to save you, but I now realize it was the older Jordan he was retrieving. You see, I wasn't in the barn when the tingling began, but I assume she wa
s. She would have returned to the barn to be teleported back to the future after waking me up. Also, I was holding you by the collar at the time, and since he couldn't retrieve more matter than he sent, there was no way for him to retrieve this younger version of me as long as I was touching you. I'm sure I felt the tingling because he was retrieving my DNA, albeit an older version of it."

  Maggie stared at Jordan for several moments in silence.

  "What are you thinking?" Jordan said.

  "I'm thinking that no one could possibly make this stuff up if it wasn't real. I'm thinking it will be an interesting life living with a time traveler."

  CHAPTER 22

  "How are you at grilling?" Gina asked Jordan as she lit the grill.

  "That depends on whether you like hockey pucks," Jordan replied.

  "Then we're screwed, 'cause I specialize in hockey pucks as well. I guess we'll just have to wing it. Grab a couple of beers from the fridge, will ya?"

  "Got it," Jordan said.

  Jordan stepped into the house and dropped a kiss on Maggie's cheek as she waked by en route to the refrigerator. Maggie and Sam were preparing a salad to complement the burgers she and Gina were about to incinerate.

  "Tell Gina not to turn the grill on high this time and to cook them only for five minutes on each side with the grill cover open. I'll be out to check them in ten minutes," Sam said as Jordan made her way back to the kitchen door.

  The first thing Jordan noticed when she stepped outside was the white smoke billowing out from under the grill cover. "Ah, Sam said don't turn the grill up on high this time."

  "Now she tells me," Gina said as she threw open the lid to expose a neat row of burgers, all ablaze.

  Jordan grabbed the metal spatula. "Quick, let's move them to the top rack before they turn to ash."

  Between the two of them, they managed to move the burgers and get the inferno under control inside the grill.

  "Is the grill on low now?" Jordan asked.

  "Yes."

  "Okay, I'm going to flip these and move them back to the lower level. Do you have a spray bottle of water handy? When Maggie cooks on the grill, she uses it to keep the meat from drying out. Maybe we can prevent another flare-up as well."

  "I'll be right back," Gina said as she went into the house and returned a few minutes later with a spray bottle in hand. "Will this work?"

  "I think so."

  "The girls wanted to know why I needed a spray bottle. I told them we were hot and needed to cool off," Gina chuckled.

  "You know they're going to bust our asses for this anyway, don't you?"

  "That's pretty much a given."

  "Hmmm, the burgers are nice and juicy, babe," Sam said.

  "Thank you," Gina said, sending a sly look Jordan's way.

  "So, let's talk about this documentation problem," Maggie suggested.

  "I say we wing it," Jordan suggested.

  "What do you mean by wing it?" Maggie asked.

  "Anyone want another drink?" Gina said as she pushed herself away from the dining room table.

  "I'll take another beer," Jordan replied.

  "A refill on the wine would be nice," Sam said. "How about you, Maggie?"

  Maggie nodded, unable to speak with a mouthful of food.

  "What I mean," Jordan continued, "is that if the institute wants what I have to offer badly enough, they'll work with me to obtain, or fabricate, or whatever it takes to get me the documentation I need to live a normal life."

  Gina put a beer in front of Jordan. "You seem pretty sure of yourself, Jordan," she said.

  "Thanks, Gina. What I have to offer could make someone very rich. I just need to get that message across when I present to the board in a couple of weeks. The return on investment for this research project will be phenomenal."

  "I thought you wanted this to be your team, with you in control of the research," Maggie said.

  "I do. I am the only one with the knowledge to make this happen near term. When I present my case, I hope that becomes clear to the investors. I won't do this if they don't allow me to run the project."

  "So you're basically going to do all the work to make some billionaire even richer," Gina said.

  "That's unavoidable, Gina. In order to develop the implant, I need someone to establish a multi-million dollar, private foundation for me, and before anyone is willing to do that, they will need to feel comfortable that they'll get their investment back, and then some. Unfortunately, that's how the system works."

  "And what do you get out of it, Jordan?" Sam asked.

  "I will get a substantial compensation package, as well as intellectual property ownership for the implant design. If it takes off as I think it will the patent will be a significant source of income for many years to come. But what I really get out of the deal is the chance to prevent a sixteen year old from spending fourteen years in a wheelchair like I did. That alone is worth any amount of blood, sweat and tears it will take to get this project off the ground."

  "Jordan, what are you going to do if they ask how you obtained your experience?" Sam asked.

  "That's a good question," Maggie said. "And what will you tell them when they ask about your own injury?"

  "I'm not going to tell them about my injury, nor about the implant, and certainly not about the time travel. It'll be really important that none of you divulge that information either."

  "But you are proof that it works. Why wouldn't you tell them?" Maggie asked.

  "Jordan and I talked about this on the way home from meeting with the lawyer," Gina said. "Basically, that information in the wrong hands could put not only the project in danger, but Jordan's personal safety as well."

  "I see," Sam said.

  "You see?" Maggie said, her voice raising an octave. "Could someone please enlighten me?"

  "Maggie, you're right. Jordan is the perfect proof that the implant works, but if the wrong person learns that she carries this miracle device around with her, it wouldn't be long before someone tries to take it from her," Sam said.

  "Are you suggesting someone might forcibly remove it from her?" Maggie asked.

  "Well I certainly wouldn't willingly allow them to take it," Jordan said. "Look, Mags, this implant could easily be reverse-engineered. Someone with the right skills could figure out how to make it work even without my help, but only if they have access to it."

  "I don't like the sound of this, Jordan. Why don't you just come back to work on the farm and forget about all this," Maggie suggested.

  "I can't do that Maggie. It would be like me asking you to give up the farm. For the past sixteen years, I have devoted my life to someday making this cure accessible to other victims of SCI. I can't… no, I won't walk away from it now. Not when I have the chance to make a difference."

  Maggie struggled to hold her emotions in check. "So you're just going to walk right into the institute, wow them with your intelligence and experience, and expect them to throw millions of dollars at you." It was more of a statement than a question.

  "That pretty much sums it up," Jordan said. "What I need to do is some intensive research into the current state of development for SCI regeneration. I need to find the holes in their theories and I need to determine what their roadblocks are. Then, I need to point out where and how I can help them get beyond those roadblocks."

  "How can you be so sure?" Maggie asked.

  "I am sure because that's how we started with our own development. My fellow research scientists and I piggy-backed on the failures of our predecessors. These scientists are our predecessors, Maggie. They've already laid the foundation. I just need to provide the building blocks to construct the solution on top of what they've already done."

  "And your identity problem, Jordan, how do you plan to deal with that?" Gina asked.

  "My proposal will lay out the conditions under which I will participate in this research. Helping me to establish a no questions asked identity will be at the top of the list."

  "And if they
choose to report you to the government instead of doing your wishes? What then?" Gina asked.

  "That won't happen," Jordan said.

  "How can you be so sure?" Maggie asked.

  "Because I've done my homework. After you dropped me off at the apartment yesterday morning, Gina, I walked down to the Fletcher Free Library on College Street and did some research on the people who run the institute as well as those who fund it. The primary benefactor is a foundation called JEM Spinal Injury Research Association, administered by a man named Charles Malone. It turns out that Mr. Malone has a teenage daughter who has been confined to a wheelchair for three years now with a completely severed spinal cord. Records indicate he began supporting the institute right after his daughter's accident. If the institute chooses to set up the private foundation to support the development of this implant, I am confident I can have her on her feet within a year. That is how I can be so sure."

  * * *

  Jordan volunteered to load the dishwasher while the others searched for an interesting on-demand movie to watch on television.

  "Hey, how about The Terminator?" Maggie suggested. "It seems apropos, considering Jordan's situation, don't you think? I told her about it a few days ago."

  "That's a great idea," Sam said. "Let me see if I can find it on the menu."

  Jordan entered the living room a few moments later carrying wine coolers for everyone. She glanced at the television as the opening credits rolled. "The Terminator, huh? This should be interesting." She passed the drinks out and sat down next to Maggie, draping her arm around her shoulder.

  Maggie snuggled into her side. "I've missed this over the past few days, love," she said softly.

  Jordan kissed her on the temple. "Me too."