by Leigh James
I took the oxygen mask off and unceremoniously blew my nose—I’d already humiliated myself in front of these people. It didn’t matter if I blew my nose too loud.
“Your blood pressure’s back to normal now, and so is your heart rate.”
“Great.” I forced myself to smile at her. “So we made you come out here for nothing.”
Kerry cocked her head. “Not so fast. How long did this episode last?”
“I don’t know. A few minutes? Maybe a little longer?”
“I’m going to watch you for another ten minutes to make sure nothing else is going on. And then I’m going to need you take some blood to send out for lab work so we can eliminate any other possibilities.” Kerry jotted down some quick notes. “Who’s your physician?”
“Dr. Lourdes Fisher.” I grimaced, thinking of the handouts Dr. Fisher had given me.
“I’m going to send her a copy of this report. You’ll need to schedule an appointment—for as soon as possible—you’re going to need a follow-up, as well as the labs. She might want to put you on medication or monitor you.”
I narrowed my eyes at Kerry, who I’d liked up until this point. “Great.”
She sat down on the floor and regarded me. “A panic attack is no joke, and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. They can sometimes lead to serious complications, so it’s good someone called 9-1-1.”
“I’m still embarrassed.”
Kerry smiled. “Don’t be. This is nothing. I got a call earlier today—I had to go cut a guy out of his kitchen. He got a piercing down there”—she motioned to her private parts—“and he was making himself breakfast naked—because this is Northern California, and people are weird. His piercing got stuck on a cabinet hinge when he reached up to get his flour sifter, to sift flour for his pancakes. No lie. I had to cut him loose with a pair of wire cutters.” She giggled.
In spite of myself, I giggled, too.
“Are you feeling better?” Wes called from outside the door. “Do you need anything?”
Kerry got up and motioned for him. “You can come back in, and I’ll check Hannah again in a few minutes.” She turned to me. “Would you feel more comfortable in your bed, not on the bathroom floor?”
I started to get up.
“Whoa,” Kerry said, “take it easy.”
Wes was beside me in an instant. “I got her.”
He led me to the bed, and I realized that not only did I feel better, I almost felt normal, as if nothing had happened.
And then I realized Wes was helping me. “You need to take it easy,” I mumbled.
He shook his head, ignoring what I said.
Kerry ushered the other paramedics to the hallway. “I’ll be out here if you need me.”
Wes tucked me into the bed and sat down. “Do you feel better?”
“Yeah. I don’t think I need to be in bed.”
His look told me not to budge.
“I’m fine,” I insisted. “In fact, I’m living proof that you can’t die of embarrassment.”
Wes put his hand over mine. “I’m sure that was hard for you, but you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve had guys on my team—men who weigh two-thirty and seem like they could crush a small car with their fists—deal with panic attacks that have incapacitated them. It’s a medical emergency. Your body is completely out of your control when it happens, and it’s scary.”
“I don’t know why. I was just blow-drying my hair.”
“What were you thinking about?”
My shoulders sagged. “The Pace girls. And then it just sort of spiraled. I was thinking about all the things I try not to think about.”
“Like?” Wes’s voice was gentle.
“Like my parents’ car accident. Like when you got shot in front of me.”
He winced. “Anything else?”
“Just…violent things. Sad things. Li Na things.” I squeezed his hand. “She deserves to pay for what she’s done, you know. I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Wes’s gaze held mine. “Me, either.”
“I don’t know what we can do.”
“We’ll figure something out,” Wes said, his voice gentle. “But I think we need to talk about what’s going on with you.”
Kerry knocked on the door and stuck her head in. “Are you ready for me?”
“Sure,” I said, eager for the interruption.
Wes patted my hand. “We’ll talk more later.”
“Maybe not today,” Kerry said, ushering him out of the way. “Hannah needs to rest.”
I’d never be able to tell her, but Kerry might just be my new favorite person.
Chapter 11
Wes
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” I asked Brian.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I don’t know, but she specifically asked me not to tell you that she was going to see her doctor. Which is why I knew I needed to.”
I went and stood by the windows. “I don’t know why she’d want to keep something from me.”
Brian scratched his head. “Maybe she doesn’t want you to worry? You do sort of worry a lot—and hover. You’ve been hovering.”
“Not my little brother,” a voice I’d know anywhere boomed.
I turned. “Ellis?”
My big brother grinned at me from the middle of Gabe and Lauren’s kitchen. “Levi said I’d find you here.”
He shook Brian’s hand, then came over, pulling me in for a quick hug. If I was a big guy, Ellis was a huge one. He was six foot four and thickly muscled. It felt like being hugged by a large boulder.
“You look good, buddy,” he said, examining me. “No more wheelchair?”
“I’m done with it.”
“You got cleared?”
“I sort of cleared myself.”
Ellis patted me on the shoulder in full-on big-brother mode. “Sounds about right. How’re you feeling?”
“I’m better. I’m going back to see Dr. Kim, and I’m hoping to get the green light to go back to work.”
Beneath his buzz cut, Ellis’s eyebrow arched a fraction. “Seems a little early, doesn’t it?”
“Didn’t you just retire?” I asked him.
“Yeah. So?”
“Seems a little early for that, too.”
Brian coughed. “I’ll see you guys later.”
Ellis looked around. “Where is everybody? How’s Hannah?”
“She’s not good—she just had a panic attack. The paramedics left here an hour ago.”
“Is she okay?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. She’s sleeping.”
Concern etched Ellis’s face—he adored Hannah. “What happened?”
“Did you hear about Jim Pace?”
“Levi caught me up. I called him on my way over here.” He sounded grim. “We believe Li Na Zhao is responsible, correct?”
I nodded. “We’ll have a hell of a time proving it, but yes. Hannah’s friends with his wife. The whole thing’s hitting her hard, especially since she hasn’t had a chance to fully recover from being kidnapped.”
“Jesus.” Ellis flopped down on one of the enormous leather couches. “Zhao’s terrorizing Silicon Valley. She wanted to buy the wife’s company, right? The one that’s developing the anti-cancer therapy?”
I grabbed us each a glass of water and sat on the couch directly across from him. “From what I understand, yes. And she’s also started trying to hack Lauren again.”
Ellis gripped his glass. “I guess I came back at the right time—I won’t be bored.”
“About that. I want you to have the house. I’m going to get a new place, for when Hannah and I are back on our feet and ready to move out of here.”
Ellis’s eyes sparkled with interest. He was a macho marine, but he still loved to gossip. “You’re moving in together?”
“Uh… Not exactly.” I should’ve thought it through before I brought it up to Ellis. You should’ve at least mentioned it to Hannah before anyone else, dumbass.<
br />
Ellis arched his eyebrow again, clearly enjoying my discomfort. “You’re ‘not exactly’ moving in together?”
“Uh.” Why did I open my big mouth?
“If you’re buying a house for her, you should probably figure it out,” Ellis teased. “But I hope it works out—I like Hannah. I think my baby brother’s finally found someone our mother would approve of.”
“Mom would love her,” I agreed. At least I could say that with some authority.
“She totally would.”
I leaned back against the supple leather of the couch, but I couldn’t get close to relaxing, so I decided to turn the tables. “What about you? Are you ready to meet someone and finally settle down now that you’re a civilian?”
“I’m not the settling-down kind. You know that.”
I grinned. “You should know that Hannah’s going to try to find you a girlfriend—she’s already plotting.”
He spluttered, practically choking on his water. “I hope you’re kidding.”
I held my hands up as if in surrender. “Take it up with her. I’m not responsible for her actions.”
Ellis’s phone buzzed, and he grabbed it. “It’s Levi—I gotta go. I guess I’m officially on duty.”
“I’m glad you’re back.”
He smiled as he hopped to his feet. “Me, too. But warn Hannah: no girlfriends. I’m not interested in dating one of her sorority sisters.”
I just shook my head as I watched him go. The poor bastard had no idea what he was up against when Hannah Taylor set her mind to something.
I couldn’t wait to watch him figure that out.
* * *
“We don’t have to go,” Lauren told Hannah, for the second time.
Hannah looked up from her steel-cut oatmeal, sprinkled with berries and flaxseed, which she’d hardly touched. “I already told you I’m going. Fiona needs our support. I’m not skipping the service just because you’re worried about me.”
Lauren reached across the table and took Hannah’s hand. “You had something very scary happen to you yesterday. There’s no reason to minimize it, and there’s also no reason to push yourself.”
Hannah yanked her hand away and got up from the table. “I’m not pushing myself—I’m living. I love you, and I know you’re worried about me, but please stop driving me crazy! I’m going to get dressed.” She hustled off before Lauren could object.
Lauren put her face in her hands. “I don’t want to push, but I am seriously worried about her.”
“I know. I’m taking her to see Dr. Fisher later for a follow-up. I’ll make sure we find out exactly what’s going on and what we need to do.”
“Thank you.”
As I stood to leave, Lauren said, “Wes? With everything that’s happened, I haven’t asked how you are. Are you okay? It’s great to see you out of the wheelchair, but I want to make sure you aren’t pushing yourself. And yes, I do realize I sound like a broken record.”
“I’m fine. After we see Dr. Fisher, we’re headed to see Dr. Kim—hopefully, I’ll get a clean bill of health.”
Lauren bit her lip. “I want to ask you for something, but I know I’m overstepping.”
“Is it an overstep that protects your sister?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m in,” I said immediately.
“Would you consider asking her to go talk to someone?”
“A therapist?”
Lauren nodded.
I’d thought the same thing. “Yes, but I don’t know if she’d be open to it.”
“Would you offer to…go with her? You’ve both been through a lot.”
Therapy was not my idea of a good time, but I would do anything for Hannah—even if it involved talking about my feelings in front of a complete stranger. “If you think it’ll help, I’ll go.”
Lauren’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Thank you. I know it’s silly for you two to go to couples’ therapy, but I think that’s the only way she’ll agree.”
I bobbled at her words. “Why’s it silly?”
“Well, it’s not as if you two were really serious before all this happened. Couples’ therapy is usually for people in long-term, committed relationships.”
Her words cut me. Apparently, I wasn’t considered long-term potential—I guess they thought of me as more like the hired help. Who doesn’t read. “Oh. I see.”
She blinked at me—Lauren wasn’t the most socially astute person, but she could tell she’d said something wrong. “I just mean, it’s generous of you to offer to go.”
“Uh-huh.” I backed away before I did something stupid, like ask if Hannah had told her we weren’t serious. “We’re all going to the service in the same car this morning, right?”
“I have to go to Paragon afterwards, so Gabe and I will meet you there.” Lauren looked at me pleadingly. “Will you please make sure she’s okay to handle this? I know she doesn’t want me bugging her, but it’s going to be very emotional.”
“Of course I will. I promise, I’m looking out for her.” I could at least promise that.
“I know. And Wes?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you. For everything.”
* * *
“I already told you—I’m not going to talk about it.” Hannah adjusted the pink shawl she wore over her black dress. “Not this morning.”
“Fine.” But it wasn’t fine, and I was still reeling from the back-to-back conversations I’d had with our respective siblings.
Me to Ellis: I’m going to ask Hannah to move in with me.
Lauren to me: Couples’ therapy is for ‘real’ couples, but you’re so sweet for being a placeholder and helping out!
Hannah sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m too tired to fight.”
We sat in the backseat as the driver maneuvered the car up in front of the Unitarian Universalist church in Palo Alto. From the passenger seat, Brian watched the crowd waiting outside to go inside to Jim Pace’s service. He let out a low whistle. “There’s a lot of people here.”
I looked at Hannah. “I don’t want to fight, either—but are you sure you’re up for this?”
She peered out the window. “Fiona needs our support.”
I shoved all the other thoughts away—they could wait for later. Hannah needed me, and that was the most important thing. I laced my fingers through hers. “Then let’s go.”
As soon as we were out of the car, I noticed the agents from Betts Security—they were everywhere. Levi was taking no chances at this event. I counted at least nine undercover agents before we even made it through the entrance of the church, in addition to Brian, who followed right behind us.
Hannah stayed close as we made our way up the line. She looked beautiful and completely pulled together. No one would guess that twelve hours ago, she’d had a panic attack so vicious, she’d required emergency medical attention. The procession snaked slowly toward the receiving line, and I kept my arm secured firmly around her waist.
“Is that Ellis?” she asked, peering over my shoulder.
“Where?” But I answered my own question as I turned. My brother was standing behind Fiona Pace, scrutinizing every person who stopped to offer their condolences. “I guess she’s his new assignment.”
“Wow. I guess Levi really was impressed with him.”
A stupid throb of jealousy ran through me. I need to get back to work. “Ellis is amazing, and he’s a total pro. He’ll keep Fiona safe.”
Hannah squeezed my hand. “I know. And I’m sure you’re anxious to get back out there, but stay with me, big guy.” She leaned back against my chest. “I need you.”
My heart squeezed. “I’m right here. I’ve got you, and I’m not letting go.” I kept my arm wrapped firmly around her, emotions battling inside me.
We finally made it to the front of the line, and Fiona immediately reached for Hannah. “I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you.”
“This is Wesley.”
We shook han
ds, and Fiona smiled at me warmly, then Hannah enveloped her in a hug.
“How are you holding up? How are the girls?” Hannah asked.
“I’m…dealing. And the girls are with my mom, playing in the children’s room. I might let them stay back there…”
Fiona turned to me. “Wesley, it’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard wonderful things.”
“I’m so sorry about Jim.” I hugged her, too. “I’m glad to see my brother is on your detail. He’s the best. He’ll keep your family safe.”
“Ellis mentioned you were brothers.” She pulled back and wiped her eyes. “He doesn’t talk much, does he?”
I chuckled as Ellis’s steely gaze flicked to me—he must have overheard her. “No, he doesn’t. It’s actually sort of nice.”
Ellis gave me a dirty look, which I ignored.
The group of people behind us moved closer, so Fiona excused herself after giving Hannah another hug.
The service was about to begin when Gabe and Lauren slid into the pew next to us.
“What took you so long?” Hannah asked. We’d all been about to leave the house at the same time.
Gabe and Lauren looked at each other briefly.
“There was some work stuff we had to take care of,” Gabe said, his tone neutral.
Lauren didn’t say anything. She looked down, playing with her engagement ring.
“What sort of stuff?” Hannah asked, immediately on alert.
Before Gabe could answer, the service started, and he turned away. I thought he seemed relieved not to have to talk.
Hannah looked at me, her brow furrowed with worry. I squeezed her hand, wishing I could soothe her. Something was going on with Gabe and Lauren—they were hiding something. But we were at a funeral, and that seemed like more than enough to deal with for one morning.
Chapter 12
Hannah
I pulled out my compact and put some concealer underneath my eyes. My mascara had run at the service, and I didn’t want Dr. Fisher to pounce on me for crying. “They didn’t have to say it. Of course it had something to do with Li Na. Otherwise they wouldn’t have been looking at each other like that, and then they ran out of there—”
