“I think you’re more jealous of there being another wedding you can’t drink at,” Alesha teased.
“That is seriously the worst thing about pregnancy,” Holland said. “All the alcohol bottles at the house think I’ve forgotten them. They don’t want to talk to me anymore. It’s quite sad really.”
“I suppose you can make up for it after the baby is born,” I said. She was now in her second trimester and starting to show a little. Although she kept complaining that she just looked fatter than she already was. I kept arguing it wasn’t true, but that’s just what girls did, I supposed. It was fun being a part of it. And it made me think about when Kristian and I might be ready for kids. Not right away, because we needed more time with each other first.
“See, that’s the problem,” she said, handing the flower crown to Alesha who placed it on top of my head. “Once I pop the baby out, I won’t be able to drink because I’ll be breastfeeding for a good six months to a year. So that’s almost two whole years of no alcohol. I didn’t think this through.”
Alesha laughed. “Just think of the rewards, Holl. You’ll have a little rug rat who’ll love you unconditionally. Just like in Dating the Enemy, how the baby is the real true love.”
“Oh, I love that movie. We’re watching that tonight. Along with Pretty Woman,” Holland said. For the last six weeks, we’d been watching every pop classic movie they could think of. I was now able to understand jokes about Clueless, Empire Records, Mallrats, and Chasing Amy to name a few.
“We’ve already watched Pretty Woman,” I said, which sent both of them into a quoting marathon that made me laugh. I could tell they’d known each other for a really long time, and I thought it was wonderful that best friends had married brothers. In the past, I’d always felt like a third wheel, or worse, an intrusion into any friendship groups. Yet with these women, somehow I fit in. I was included. How was it possible that one moment in time—one quick decision to grab of a set of keys—would open more than just a door to a Ute?
“Oh my God.” Holland stopped all of a sudden, her eyes wide as she looked at me. “Are you crying?”
I was, but I shook my head. “No. There’s just mascara in my eye,” I said, blinking rapidly as I fanned my hands at my eyes. It was crazy that I was crying so much, but this was also new to me—having people around to care—I was struggling to control my emotions most days. It was getting to the point where I wanted to punch myself in the face for being a sissy.
“Oh, honey,” Alesha said, giving me a hug before walking me over to the couch to sit. “What’s going on? Are you worried about the guys? They’ll be back soon. We already know the job was a success.” With Holland pregnant and wedding preparations to attend to, we three stayed behind with Toby for our protection while Jasmine, Nate, Sam, Abbot, and Kristian went to Sydney to finish our job. They’d called early in the morning to say they were on their way back with a very heavy safe after a detour to pick up somebody to open it. We were about to be very wealthy people.
“No. They’re fine. I know they’re fine. I’m not even upset. I’m just happy. My world is so full, and I’m crying because I never expected it.”
Holland knelt in front of me and looked closely at my face. “Are you pregnant?” she asked.
“What? No.” I sat a little straighter, dabbing at my eyes with the tissue Alesha handed me. “Not that I know of.”
“When was the last time you had your period?” Alesha asked, and I shook my head.
“It’s pretty erratic. Maybe a bit before Sydney. But it’s not unusual for it to be this long, and Kristian and I always use protection. Except…” I thought back to that time at the cabin when we’d run out. He’d gone in bare before transferring to my rear. “Can you get pregnant on precum?”
“Yes,” they both said in unison.
“Oh.”
“Are your boobs sore?” Holland asked. “Because mine got really sore.” I pressed my hands against them. Ow!
“Yes. I don’t know. I could be imagining it now.”
“We need a test,” Alesha said definitively. “I’ll go get you one. Wait right there. I’ll be back.” Scrambling off the couch, she grabbed her bag and dashed out the door, leaving Holland and me alone.
“We might have cousins together,” Holland said, biting her lip as she looked at me with a smile.
“Holy shit,” I gasped. This was so not what I was expecting. “I can’t be a mum yet.”
“You’ll be fine. We’re here to help you. All of us. Did you know that Leesh and Sam are starting IVF after your wedding? If you’re pregnant and IVF works for them, then we might all have cousins really close in age. Wouldn’t that be exciting?”
“We just need Abbot and Toby to knock a couple of girls up then the Cartwright population will explode,” I said, feeling a little ill despite trying to sound positive.
“That would be something.” She chuckled. “We just need to be sensitive toward Leesh too. If it turns out you are pregnant, she’ll act super happy for you because that’s who she is. But behind it all, she’ll hurt. She wants a baby too, but she can’t do it on her own.” Wow, I couldn’t imagine how hard that must be for her. But I did know what it was like to feel bereft of something others took for granted.
“OK. So if it’s positive, do I play it down?” I was so nervous, I didn’t really know how I would play it regardless.
“Oh no, she’d hate that. I’m just saying be sensitive. Don’t exclude her but don’t brag—does that make sense?”
I nodded. “I think so.”
Then I felt light-headed and she tried to keep me talking until Alesha got back. I think I was in shock a little, because I didn’t know what to do when Alesha handed me the bag.
“Go pee on the stick,” she said.
“Oh, yeah,” I said, heading toward the bathroom and pulling the box from the bag. When I was done reading the instructions, it seemed I just peed on the little stick then waited a couple of minutes. Nervously, I did just that, putting the cap on the stick before I took it out to Holland and Alesha.
“What did it say?” Alesha asked anxiously.
I held it out. “I don’t want to look.”
Holland took it and held it so she and Alesha could see. They looked at it, at each other, then at me. “Do you want the good news or the bad news?” Holland asked.
“The bad news?” I said, more as a question as nerves swirled in my stomach. Was it weird that I was afraid of them saying I wasn’t pregnant? I hadn’t wanted to be, but still…
“You need to quit drinking,” she said.
“And smoking,” Alesha added with a smile. “Because the good news—the great news—is that you’re pregnant. Congratulations.”
My hands shook. “What?” My breath caught in my chest.
Holland turned the stick to face me so I could see the two pink lines. “You and Kris are having a baby. Or babies. You never know since he’s a twin, right.”
“Oh my God.” I sat down. Right where I was in the middle of the floor and took my flower crown off my head.
“Aren’t you happy?” Alesha asked, crouching to sit in front of me. Holland joined her at my side.
“I…I’m shocked. I didn’t expect this to happen so soon.”
“I think babies like to follow their own schedule,” Alesha said. “I remember my sister-in-law—the one married to my brother—couldn’t get pregnant for ages for her first, but her second one wasn’t even planned. I think fate likes to step in.”
“A baby,” I said, placing my hand against my stomach.
Holland and Alesha both nodded, smiling. “A baby.”
“What’re you all doin’ on the floor like that? Calling the Watchtowers? Don’t you need a fourth for that?” Abbot asked, dropping his bag as he walked in the house, Kristian following right behind him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately, his voice laced with concern as he rushed to my side. Alesha and Holland moved away, collecting their things and ins
isting that Abbot helped them take it to Alesha’s van.
Once they were out of the house, I uncurled my hand from the test. “Oh shit.” He dropped on the floor in front of me. For the next few minutes we just sat in silence, staring at it.
“If you don’t want it, we can—”
“I do,” he said, quickly cutting me off. “Do you?”
I nodded. “I think so.”
“When did we—”
“The cabin.”
His mouth formed an O. “But I didn’t—”
“Seems you’ve got some pretty powerful precum.”
“You can get pregnant from that?”
“Looks like it.”
“Wow. I have super sperm.”
“Maybe I have super eggs.”
He grinned. “We’re pregnant.”
“We are.” Tears fell down my cheeks. “At least I know why I keep crying so much,” I said, wiping them away.
“You cry all the time, doll. You’re soppy as fuck.”
I pushed him on his shoulder. “So are you.”
“Come here,” he said, pulling me to his lap and giving me a tender kiss. “Are you OK?”
“Yeah. I’m OK. I’m shocked. But I want kids with you, so…”
“OK. Then there’s something I want to do.” Standing, he helped me up then led me outside to where Abbot was talking to Alesha and Holland…and Nate, and Sam, and Jasmine, and Toby, and some redheaded woman. They were all there and looked our way the moment the door opened.
Kristian grinned then threw his head back and yelled, “We’re going to have a baby,” at the top of his lungs. Then he picked me up and spun me around in a circle, laughing.
We’re having a baby.
Chapter Thirty-Five
For A Girl Like Me
Single moments. They made up the story of our lives and were the basis of our memories. A perfect moment could produce smiles for years to come, a disappointing moment, tears.
There had been many moments since becoming a part of Kristian’s life that had done both. I’d shed tears during some of my darkest moments. But mostly, I’d smiled because I’d found the one thing I never imagined having—family. Now, I had something worth fighting for, something worth loving. And the feeling of being loved in return, well, it was better than the thrill of stealing a hot car and chucking the perfect doughy.
It was everything.
Kristian was everything.
He drove me nuts sometimes, he made me laugh other times. But most of all, he made me feel wanted.
Letting out my breath, I read over my vows one more time before folding them and sliding them in the hidden pocket of my dress. I’d put everything I felt into those words, and I hoped I could say it all without becoming a blubbering mess. These pregnancy hormones were really doing me in. I cried whenever I saw that commercial for fabric softener where the kid thanked his mum for making his towel all cuddly, but he couldn’t say the word, and it was so darn cute. And that wasn’t the only thing I cried about. Anything sentimental happened and I was a mess. Breaker showed up a while ago, all ready to walk me down the aisle—he looked so handsome in his shirt and pants—and he gave me a corsage that matched my flower crown. A corsage! I blubbered like I was just handed the Oscar and was giving my speech. Poor Alesha had to do my make-up all over again, so I was told to sit quietly, and no one was allowed to talk to me until it was time to go.
I would not cry again.
“Almost ready? The bikes are outside.”
I nodded. Did I mention my ride to the wedding was on the back of a Harley? A small group of the Grim Order were escorting the bridal party to the beach. They had decked their bikes out with silk ribbons and they looked perfect.
Alesha picked up my flower crown and handed it to me. I was going to loop it over my arm until we arrived at the beach and I could remove my helmet.
“Thanks for doing all this,” I said to her. “You’ve been amazing.”
She squeezed my shoulder. “I’m looking forward to having another sister.”
My eyes watered. I am not going to cry.
“Let’s go make you a Cartwright.”
When I got outside, Holland smiled and gushed about how wonderful I looked. She had been talking to a family friend called Sloane, a tall redhead staying at the Cartwright house because the safe they’d brought back from Sydney was old and complicated. She was some kick-arse lock specialist that was somehow connected to someone from Jasmine’s old crew (the details obviously weren’t shared with me). All I knew was that Jasmine and Abbot had taken a detour on the way back from Sydney and returned with Sloane. The first time I met her was when Kristian had taken me outside and yelled about my pregnancy. I wasn’t sure how great she actually was at safe cracking because it was still closed, and our money was still trapped on the inside. But, whatever, it just meant that there was an extra bridesmaid to balance things out. From the way Jasmine insisted on including her in the wedding as Abbot’s date, I had a feeling she also thought Sloane was the solution to Abbot’s single status. But, I didn’t know about that. Abbot seemed pretty intent of being wild and free. Jasmine would be better off pushing her on Toby if she wanted to see more of her sons happily married….
Besides being a little uptight, Sloane seemed OK. She was a bit of a tomboy and she made a to-do about the bridesmaid dresses, but I honestly wasn’t too fussed. I just wanted to get married and focus on bringing this baby into the world. Everyone else could worry about Sloane.
“You’re real pretty, Ronnie,” she said with a smile, surprising me. “Best of luck today, hey.” She punched me in the arm, and I tilted a little off balance.
“Thanks, Sloane,” I said, reminding myself to always give her a wide berth if I didn’t want a bruised arm in future.
“Absolutely stunning,” Jasmine beamed, her hand resting against Breaker’s chest. They had barely spent more than a few days apart since they got together a little over two months ago. Breaker was actually looking into transferring to the Melbourne charter so he could be close. He kept saying he needed to stick around because he was worried about retaliation from Conway, but there hadn’t been a blip on the radar, so we were more than sure he was staying because of Jasmine. The man was head over heels, and so was she. I was a little worried about what they were going to ask the Cartwrights to do in return for all the protection though. I knew that Breaker saw Jasmine and me as family, which meant he saw all the Cartwrights as his family. We’d seemed to be accepted into his biker family too, which was fine personally, but business-wise, it could make things way more complicated than growing poppies ever would. But I supposed that was a worry for tomorrow. Today was all about my wedding.
“Pretty as a picture,” Breaker agreed as I moved to stand with them.
“Quit being so complimentary.” I laughed. “You’ll all make me cry again.”
The photographer moved around and took pictures of us together, me on my own, then all of us on the bikes. I smiled so much my cheeks hurt. Then we were on our way, flying down the streets with passengers of passing cars gawking at us like tourists.
“Nervous?” Breaker asked when we arrived in the car park above Winkipop.
“A little,” I said, smiling as he helped me put the floral crown on my head.
“You’ll do great. He’s a lucky man.” He kissed me on the cheek.
“I think I’m luckier. Look at all this.” I gestured around us, to my bridal party and those gathered on the beach. So many faces that had entered my life because of my connection with Kristian. I’d said in the beginning of our relationship that he took up all the space in the room, but his love took up all the space in the world. I was full because of him, and he had stopped searching because of me. We’d found what we were looking for.
After taking a few more photos, we gathered around the top of the wooden stairs that led to the beach. Bridesmaids went first, then Breaker and I followed, one step at a time.
In the distance, I could see m
y man, standing and watching my every move with his brothers standing to his side. They were all so handsome in their white shirts and sand-coloured pants—well, I assumed they were all handsome. The only man I could focus on was mine. Kristian’s gaze locked with mine, a smile mirroring my own. I can’t wait to be his wife. And then I’ll be the mother of his child. Incredible.
My heart hammered in my chest, my smile so wide I could see the apple of my cheeks as we walked along the sand and up the aisle created between the fold-out chairs our guests sat on. But we could have been alone. The whole world fell away around us, and all that I could see was him, waiting eagerly.
“She’s all yours, mate,” Breaker said as he transferred my hand to Kristian’s and took a seat in the front row.
“I think she always was,” Kristian said, taking hold of both my hands and bringing them to his lips. “We’re getting married, doll.”
“Did you think this is what you’d be doing that day you chased me up those stairs after I stole your keys?”
He shook his head. “I had no clue. But, man, it’s been a wild ride so far. Ready to turn this into our greatest adventure?”
I nodded. “I will literally follow you anywhere.”
Placing his hands on either side of my face, he bent down and kissed me. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” I whispered, feeling so much calmer from his touch.
The celebrant cleared his throat. “Well, now that we’ve got the kiss out of the way, how about we move on to the vows?”
With a chuckle, we turned to face him, hands and hearts wrapped together as we delivered our vows.
Since that moment I took his car to the moment I got caught scratching it up, I’d never dreamed that a man I had such contempt for could be the salve my heart needed to feel whole again. But, he’d taken me into his life, and with every moment from that point on, he gave me light and love and purpose. Now, looking back, I was thankful for the shit that came before our story because without it, we wouldn’t have found, or needed each other. I never wanted to be apart. I had love, and it came in so many different forms. A mother-like love in Jasmine, a father-like love in Breaker. Brothers—often pains in my arse more times than not, but my God, I loved them. I’d never known how much having an elder brother rocked until I met those crazy-arsed boys. Sisters. Two women so incredible that they’d not only taken me under their wing as big sisters, but they’d included me in their tight-knit friendship.
Foolish Games: Cartwright Brothers, book 3 Page 26
