by Amy Brent
“No, I mean, be careful with Sam. He’s not… He doesn’t let people in very easily, but when he does, he does it with his whole heart. I just want you to remember that.”
“Okay. I will,” I mumbled, surprised by her words and the seriousness of her tone. “But—”
Before I could finish my sentence, the door popped open once more. I had to bite my tongue to keep the rest of the words from spilling out, but the questions where still burning inside me. What did she mean? What was she talking about? Did she know something that I didn’t?
I didn’t have a chance to get answers to any of those questions, though, as the manager of the venue walked inside the dressing room in a tight-fitting, all-black suit.
“Are you ready, Faye?” he asked in a tight voice, glancing down at his clipboard and then at me. He still hadn’t gotten over me bullying him to get the date just two weeks ago. But when his eyes landed on me, they widened and his face softened into a smile. “You look gorgeous, sweetheart. You’re going to knock your fiancé right over when he sees you. Beautiful.”
“She is, isn’t she?” Alice added, sending me another worried look that did nothing to help the butterflies already raving inside my stomach. What the hell had she meant by that comment about Sam?
“All right, Faye, it’s time. The ceremony is about to start. You ready?”
No. Hell no. Fuck no I was not ready. I wasn’t not ready for this, fake wedding or no fake wedding. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Alice was wrong. Maybe it was not too late to call the whole thing off.
Then we were walking down the stairs, Alice holding up the slight train of my dress so I didn’t fall and break my neck. There was nowhere to run.
But a part of me knew the truth. It didn’t matter if I turned tail and fled. No matter how far I ran, I couldn’t outrun my own feelings.
*
Sam
“Hey, man, don’t pass out on me or anything. I don’t want to have to lift your heavy ass.”
I rolled my eyes over at Casey, who was standing in a rented tux at my side.
“Thanks, Case. That makes me feel so much better,” I hissed back at him before staring out over the crowd of people sitting in front of me.
I was standing at the end of the aisle, the officiant waiting patiently at my other side, but I didn’t feel patient at all.
I felt wired. I felt like my whole body was made of electricity. Even knowing that none of this was real, it didn’t tame any of the wild joy that was flooding my system.
“I’ve seen those videos online, you know,” Casey was saying, still talking under his breath. I tried to ignore my best man but it was impossible. My nerves wouldn’t let me. “It happens. The groom is standing up there, waiting for his lovely fiancé to walk down the aisle, and then bam! On the ground.”
Casey chuckled softly to himself like a maniac, and I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes again.
“Seriously, Casey, shut up.”
“Just don’t lock your knees. That’s the trick. If you lock your knees, you’ll pass out for sure.”
This time I really did roll my eyes at him, but I also bent my knees a little just to make sure I didn’t end up like one of those grooms in those videos of his. Damn him.
Casey was no help in all when it came to settling my nerves. My pulse was pounding and my hands were sweaty and I felt like the tux I was wearing was getting tighter and tighter around my throat.
I tugged at it, trying to loosen the tie, but it didn’t budge. I still felt like I couldn’t quite catch my breath. What the hell was my problem? It was a fake wedding for fuck’s sake. It was all fake. It was all pretend and make-believe.
I told myself that over and over again as soft music began playing over the speaker in the back of the room and the ceremony started. If it was all fake, why did it feel so real? Why did I feel like I was just moments away from passing out just like Casey was worried about?
And why didn’t telling myself it was all a farce make me feel any better? In fact, it made me feel even worse, like a hole was opening up inside me.
Maybe it’s because you don’t want it to be fake. You don’t want it to be pretend, a sly voice in the back of my head whispered. You want it to be real. You want Faye to be marrying you for real. You know that when this is all over, she’s going to leave you.
A mix of emotions hit me so hard, it nearly knocked me off my feet. I knew it was true. I did want this for real, but I didn’t know what the hell to do about it.
My attention was diverted from my own troubled thoughts for a grateful moment as the music changed, and then the wide doors at the back of the room swung open and my breath caught in my throat.
“Damn,” Casey whispered from where he was still standing next to me at the front of the room holding the rings. My own thoughts echoed his comment.
I didn’t have the words to describe how incredibly beautiful Faye was as she walked toward me. It wasn’t the hair or the makeup or the dress. It wasn’t any of those things. It was the light that shone from deep inside her that was hers alone. It was her strength and wit, her cleverness and spirit. The same determination that had gotten her to where she was today was in every single step she took down the long aisle.
It hit me then like a ton of bricks falling on my head as I watched her walk toward me. I loved her. I truly loved this woman.
Terror and panic and exhilaration all shot through me, and I realized that I’d known all along. I just hadn’t been able to admit it to myself.
Everything I’d been through had made it nearly impossible to trust people, and I knew it would be hard to fully trust anyone, but I loved her. I would do anything to protect her and keep her safe, anything in my power to make her happy.
And I knew I wanted more than a few weeks with her. I wanted a lifetime with her, a real relationship, not just a fake one because some crazy asshole had decided to make Faye a target.
It may have been sneaky, but I was going to use every moment I had with Faye to convince her my feelings were true, to show her I wasn’t like the other’s she had dated in the past, to prove to her that I was worthy of her and she could be happy with me, truly happy.
Faye finally came to a stop beside me, and I took her hands in mine. They trembled beneath my fingers, and when I met her wide dark eyes, I saw the fear and trepidation in their depths.
I squeezed her hands, trying to tell her without words that it was all going to be all right. I would make sure of it. She must have understood a little bit because suddenly the fear receded and some of the color came back to her cheeks.
I never took my eyes off hers as the officiant stepped forward.
“We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Faye Elizabeth Donnelly and Samuel Gray Weis.”
The officiant’s voice faded to a buzz as he spoke. All I could do was stare into Faye’s eyes and hope that she could see the emotions swirling in my own. Hope she knew that this meant more to me than just words.
“May I have the rings?”
“What? Oh, yeah. Sure. Here you go,” Casey said, fumbling with the ring box for a moment before handing them over. He shot me an unabashed grin, and I just shook my head, suddenly feeling lighter than I could ever remember feeling before.
He handed the small gold band to me, and I took it before turning back to Faye.
“Do you, Samuel Gray Weis, take this woman to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” I answered, my voice so gruff I could barely get the words out.
“And do you, Faye Donnelly, take this man to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish as long as you both shall live?”
For a moment, Faye just looked at me with those unfathomable
eyes of hers, not saying a word. It felt like the longest moment of my life. My heart was pounding wilding in my chest and I couldn’t draw a breath to save my life. I was waiting on pins and needles for her answer.
Finally she opened her mouth. “I do.”
My body collapsed in a rush of relief but my hands never let go of hers. Not once. She would see that I was different. Someway, I would show her that she could trust me, that she could lean on me and that I wouldn’t let her down.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
Chapter 22
Faye
The city streets and neon lights of downtown Seattle passed by in a blur on the other side of the window of the cab that was taking us back to Sam’s apartment. My apartment, too, for the moment at least.
It still seemed so surreal, like I was walking around in a dream and I all I could do was keep wondering when I was going to wake, when the dream was going to burst and send me tumbling back to reality again.
It was well past midnight, and after the day I’d had, after everything that had happened, I knew I should have been exhausted. But I was wired. It was like my whole body was filled with electricity, flickers of sparks just underneath my skin waiting to get out.
It was finally over and done with. Fake wedding, check. Fake marriage, check. Fake husband… I peeked at Sam from the corner of my eye, but I didn’t need to worry about getting caught scoping him out. He was intent on something outside his own window, and I took the opportunity just to look at him.
He was so handsome, sitting there with his tux jacket unbuttoned and his tie hanging loose around his neck, that he took my breath away, just like the first time I saw him, just like that night we had shared together. That felt like an eternity ago.
But as I looked, I could see that there were some differences in him now.
His chestnut hair was still too long and tousled, as if he’d just run his hair through it, and his eyes, the eyes of a poet, still held just as many mysterious as they had that night. But there was something more in them now, a warmth whenever he looked at me that had the desire that was always banked flaring to life inside me. His cheekbones looked sharper and his jaw a little harder, and I realized that the stress of the last few weeks was affecting Sam just as much as it was affecting me. Hell, he’d put his whole life on the line to help me, to protect me and keep me safe.
I bit my lip as I thought of all the sacrifices he’d made for me, and I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone else would have done the same. Would I have if the situation had been reversed? Would I have agreed to totally upend my entire life to help out a friend?
My eyebrows narrowed at the thought. Friend seemed like such a passive term for what Sam and I were. Too timid. Too mild. No, friend definitely wasn’t right. But what would I call us? Lovers? Something more?
My breath hitched a little bit, remembering the fierce look in his eyes as he’d repeated his vows. His gaze had been so intense, I’d almost had to look away but I hadn’t been able to. Something had held me trapped there, something deep inside me that I didn’t understand but that was there nonetheless.
The rest of the wedding had passed in a blur. There had been music and dancing and food, but I hadn’t tasted a bite. I could barely remember a moment of it. It was just a whirlwind of hugs and well-wishes.
We even had a trunk full of wedding gifts that I felt so guilty over that I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with them. We couldn’t accept them, certainly.
Finally, we pulled to a stop in front of Sam’s apartment, and the cab driver turned as I handed him a few bills.
“You kids have fun on your wedding night, now,” he said with a wink that left no doubt about what exactly he was insinuating. I swallowed down a bout of nerves.
“Keep the change.” I ignored the man’s comment, rushing the words out before pushing open the door, but before I could wrestle the damn dress out of the car, Sam was there.
“Here, Faye, take my hand.”
I froze. For some reason, it seemed like he was asking me for so much more than just to accept an offer to help me out of the car, but I shook of the thought away. I was being ridiculous. It had been Sam’s plan in the first place, the fake marriage, breaking up at the end of the contract.
Still, that little voice wouldn’t shut up as I accepted Sam’s hand and he pulled me to my feet.
The full skirt of the wedding dress made it hard to do just about anything besides take dainty steps, but with Sam’s hand enclosing my own, I felt my whole body flash warm. He didn’t let go as he led me up the flight of stairs.
I had tried to resist him. I had fought so hard against the desire that had sped through my body for nearly the last two years whenever we were in the same room together. I had tried so hard, but I just didn’t want to anymore. I didn’t want to fight it.
For the first time in longer than I could remember, I wanted to give in to my desires, to give in to my feelings and not always hold a part of myself back.
Even knowing that our relationship already had an end date, even though I knew what was coming, I wanted to take what I could while I was with him. I was determined to enjoy it while I could, every single moment of it with no regrets, no recriminations. Because after this whole thing was over, I knew we would both go our separate ways.
The thought left a hollow feeling in my chest, like someone had drilled a hole straight through me, but I ignored it, instead focusing on the heat that travelled from my fingertips all the way up my arm, spreading through my middle and then settling low and sweet between my thighs.
We stopped in front of the apartment door long enough for Sam to unlock the door and push it open, and then the next thing I knew, he was lifting me in the air. The sudden move surprised a bubble of laughter out of me as I threw my arms around his shoulders and buried my face in his neck, breathing deeply of his unique, spicy scent.
“What are you doing?” I gasped through the laughter. He just smiled down at me with a little shrug.
“Isn’t this tradition? To carry the bride across the threshold?”
“I don’t think anything about us is traditional,” I joked, but I didn’t let go of him and he didn’t let go of me either as he carried me inside the apartment, shutting the door behind us with his foot.
Once we got into the living room, Sam finally set me down, sliding me down his hard body an inch at a time until my heels hit the floor. I loved the way he felt against me. The feeling thrilled through me.
With a burst of nervousness, I realized I was letting myself get in too deep with him, and it terrified me. I knew there was no future for us. This whole thing was just temporary, a dream world. And I really would have to wake up and face the cold hard reality sooner or later.
“Hey, Faye, you don’t have to worry anymore,” Sam said, cupping my cheek in his hands. “You’re going to be safe now, Faye. No more threats. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”
He must have seen the way my expression had fallen, but he was wrong about the reason. He thought I was worried about the stalker, but that fear didn’t hold a candle to what really scared me: my feelings for him.
“I’ll protect you, Faye,” Sam said, whispering the heartfelt words as he held me.
But how are you going to protect me from you? I didn’t say the words out loud. I could barely handle thinking about it, let alone speaking it. Instead, I grabbed his hand and pulled him along with me toward the bedroom.
Sam shot me a confused look. “What are you doing?”
“I need help with the buttons,” I said shortly, not quite looking at him as I fought the sudden blush that stained my cheeks. “I can’t get this damn thing off by myself.”
“Oh. Uh, of course.” His voice sounded strangled and surprised, and suddenly I found myself fighting a grin. God, he had me so tangled up, I didn’t know right from wrong or up from down. All I knew was that I wanted him, and for tonight at least, he was all mine. I ev
en had the ring to prove it.
I pulled us both to a stop next to the bed and turned around impatiently, sweeping my hair over one shoulder as Sam started in on the row of tiny buttons going down the back of the dress.
He would have had the thing undone sooner, but every few inches he stopped and caressed my newly bared skin, sending a fresh wave of chills racing through my body. By the time he had all the tiny fasteners unbuttoned, I was trembling with need, but he seemed more than content to take his time.
Finally, he got the dress all unhooked and it fell to the floor in a pile of tulle and chiffon. Sam gasped as he saw what I was wearing underneath. It was a scrap of a fabric, all cream and lace that hugged all my curves and made me feel sexy and bold as I turned around in his arms.
In one smooth movement, I leaned into his already hard body and reached up, running my fingers through his hair. In the next instant, I was pulling his head down so that I could kiss him.
He kissed me back just as hard for one heartbeat, two, but then he was pulling away, looking down at me with eyes that were unreadable.
“Wait a minute, Faye,” he said breathlessly, and I could see the struggle on his face as he tried to put his thoughts into words. “I need…I need to know what’s going on here. Is this just a quick fuck for you? A few weeks of using me before you move on to someone else?”
I gasped as his words hit me. They hurt more than I even thought possible, but I could see the fear in his eyes and recognized it for what it was. It was the same fear that was inside me. It took all my courage to take a deep breath and tell him the truth.
“I…I don’t know, Sam. That’s as honest as I can be. I never expected… I never thought we would be in this sort of situation.” I exhaled sharply, forcing myself to go on. After everything he’d done for me, I owed him the truth. “The only thing I know is that I want you. And for right now, for this moment, we have each other. So why not enjoy what we can while we have it?”
“And what about after? After the record contract? After the threat to you is over? What then?”
