by Mima
“Chase, I do not want you to get a bad idea of my brother, I do not mean he’s a bad man necessarily but he thinks fast, he’s impulsive,” she spoke slowly as if to pick out her words carefully. “He’s a bit wild. He’s a daredevil.”
Chase nodded, unsure of what to say.
The evening went slowly from that point on and while the wine relaxing him, he couldn’t deny his attraction to Jolene, someone who originally intimidated him too much to even consider but the wine seemed to ease these fears. It was while in the bathroom and looking into the mirror a little later, that he reminded himself that she was, after all, his boss and unlike his younger days when he was, as Jolene would say, ‘lead by his dick’, he had to be smart. He couldn’t do anything to screw up this job or his relationship with Jolene.
But the fantasy was there. It followed him home that night as he entered his apartment, hoping to enjoy it alone, he discovered a note stuck to his door.
Sorry Chase. I love you. Kelsey
Pulling it from his door, he stretched a long piece of bubble gum that she apparently used to attach it and after spending five minutes removing the remainder of the sticky substance, he felt his original desires quenched as he walked in the apartment. Half expecting to find her inside even though she didn’t have a key, he was relieved that the day was over.
Checking his phone, he quickly realized that this assumption was probably a bit abrupt, after noting messages from Maggie. She wanted to talk to him.
He sent a brief messaged of one word.
OK.
Five minutes later, she was at his door. Wearing yoga pants and a fitted T-shirt, she bashfully entered the room and walked toward his couch. Neither of them said a word for a minute.
“Chase, I’m sorry about this whole, entire mess,” she finally commented in a quiet voice as she sat on the edge of the couch, as if not to get too comfortable. “I’m sorry that Kelsey is such a fuck up. I’m sorry that I didn’t know about the film thing and I appreciate that you tried to get her out of it. I mean, I was originally kind of pissed that you didn’t tell me but I thought about it and I understand. I think I see where you are coming from. You wanted to protect me and Kelsey but I don’t need protection and Kelsey, you can’t help her. Fuck, she won’t even help herself!”
Her last words were full of fire, anger that swept in suddenly, followed by a single tear. “I can’t help her, Chase. I’ve tried, so many times. When we were living in Hennessey, I didn’t tell you a lot of things that I did try to help her. I wanted to keep it within the family. The boys she snuck in the house, the drugs, the alcohol, it just seemed like she was always doing something stupid and I couldn’t make her see why she had to change. I couldn’t help her.”
Chase nodded.
“Remember the time I was driving you home? The night of the party?” Maggie let out a short laugh. “We stopped and I grabbed the backpack she had hidden in the ditch? So she could go out partying later? That wasn’t the first time. I always had to be two steps ahead of her. That’s why she hated me so much. When she first started to hang around with you, I thought it was because she was trying to get you in her web, that’s why I said to avoid her. I was a little pissed at you for not seeing what she was like but then again, I didn’t exactly let you know, so I didn’t have the right to be angry. I just…get so frustrated with Kelsey.”
Chase shot her an understanding smile and she returned it.
“I told her today that I give up on her,” She suddenly added, tears filled her eyes again and she blinked rapidly. “I can’t handle her anymore. I told her she wasn’t welcome back here, that she had to go to dad’s house or back home with mom but she can’t stay here. I can’t have that in my life. She won’t listen and she didn’t even see what she did wrong or why she was being so stupid. She thinks she’s going to be this big porn star and all these men will want her or something.”
Chase looked away and thought about the night she seduced him, suddenly very relieved that he wore a condom, he was also ashamed of their encounter. He could never tell Maggie.
“It’s fucked up. She needs help. Like, seriously help. She’s delusional and impulsive and crazy!” Maggie commented as her hands both jutted into the air, frustrating rang through her voice and Chase related to her statement.
“I hadn’t realized it was that bad,” Chase admitted. “I definitely didn’t know she went back to Bud’s”
“I always knew there was something off about that guy,” Maggie commented as she ran a hand through her hair. “He was kind of slimy but I had no idea it was something like that. I actually thought you were in on it with him, whatever it was.”
“No,” he replied, perhaps a little too quickly but she didn’t seem to notice. Maggie shook her head and sniffed.
“I kind of get that vibe about Jolene too, actually,” She placed her hands in her lap and leaned forward. “Especially after the other night.”
“Well, she didn’t want to alarm people, so she asked me to take her to the hospital.” Chase attempted to cover things up. “The lady, she’s OK. Jolene looked into it.”
“You really trust Jolene?” She raised her eyebrows.
Chase shrugged.
“That’s what she tells you, doesn’t mean it’s true or what happened was OK,” Maggie insisted. “She should’ve called 911 and had them enter the premise. It didn’t matter what was going on unless we were doing something illegal.”
Those words stuck with Chase and he felt the need to defend Jolene. “Nah, it’s just that she was worried about the woman’s privacy.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Maggie considered and shrugged. “I’m not sure if I’m going to stay on. She told me today to figure out what I want and after talking to the RCMP today, I actually felt like I want to try to get in again. I got quite far than just stopped. I was busy and not so sure that it was right for me. Now I kind of think it might be worth looking into.” She hesitated. “After the Constable questioned me and seemed satisfied that I had no idea about Bud, I asked him some questions and he encouraged me to try again. I think I will.”
“You should.”
“I might. I think I will have to quit with Jolene though,” she grinned. “I don’t think Jolene likes police.”
Chase smiled and didn’t say a word.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
Bud was arrested. Chase later heard that Lucy’s boyfriend, ‘Lucky Luke’ was also being charged. Although dicey, it didn’t appear to be the fact that they were taping porn that was a problem but that there were minors involved. Apparently, a 17-year-old Kelsey wasn’t the youngest woman they had making movies; something that made Chase physically ill to learn. It became a huge controversy in the Hennessey/Mento area, bringing local, then national news teams to the area, asking local residents about the matter. Most were shocked that this kind of thing was going on, including some staff who claimed to be in the dark. Chase wondered if that was true.
He knew the day would come when the RCMP would want to interview him. Unlike Maggie, he was relieved when they arrived at his door. It was the same officers that spoke to Maggie and he could tell they immediately recognized him. He wondered if he thought it was strange that both he and Maggie left town after working for Bud, once again working for the same employer, one that dealt with some underground parties that weren’t illegal but did have a shady side to them. If this was a concern, however, it wasn’t clear.
Having never experienced a police interview before, he hadn’t known what to expect and felt his heart race the entire time, even though the questions were simple and he remained expressionless, showing no signs of nervousness. He told the Constable that he worked the door and that was it. He had two jobs, so it was only a couple days a week, he hadn’t noticed anything shady and was as shocked as everyone else. When asked if minors were allowed in the bar, Chase shook his head no.
“Not on my watch,
” his voice was calm as was his appearance, as he made eye contact with the officer, something that Jolene insisted was important if they were to interview him. He wasn’t sure why or how she knew such a thing but felt it was solid advice. She was right. It seemed to work. The questioning felt almost unofficial, didn’t last long and when the officer left, he appeared satisfied with the answers.
The early recordings of Kelsey had been destroyed, so they had no idea about the first attempts to profit off her youthful ignorance. Technically, if they did ever find any of Chases’ movies, he was of age and his face wasn’t even in the scenes. The girls didn’t know or seem to care about his name and chances were, they were long gone anyway. Worry had filled his nights and an occasional disturbing dream haunted him but for the most part, things got back to normal a couple weeks later.
Maggie quit. She focused on her office job while working toward joining the RCMP. She seemed lighter, stronger than he had ever seen her before and almost like the old Maggie; but not quite. There was still a distance between them and even though a part of him missed their old friendship, another part of him recognized that as time moved forward, he would build new friendships. It just wasn’t easy in the city, where everyone seemed to be in their own little world.
Jolene hired a new lady to be the hostess and fired her a few days later. Three girls followed, until she finally found one she liked, ironically another Columbian. The two chatted in Spanish in front of him, making him curious to know the language but at the same time, not paranoid that they were ever saying anything about him until he caught his name one day. Later, Jolene would explain that the new girl, Daniela had a crush on him.
“But no, not a good idea, Chase,” She shook her head and frowned. “It is, what they say? Don’t eat where you shit?”
“Shit where you eat,” he corrected her and grinned. He had no interest in Daniela, so it didn’t matter.
“Yes, well it is the same, no?” She breezily shook her head and took a deep breath. “I cannot afford to lose another girl when you break her heart.”
To that, Chase laughed. “Don’t worry, Jolene, nothing will happen between Daniela and me.”
Jolene looked skeptical but didn’t say anything.
It didn’t make her shy about getting his attention. Accidentally rubbing against him, making that small moaning sound that was almost unnoticeable but rose the hairs on the back of his neck. It was almost like she sensed that he wasn’t exactly getting any lately and was going out of her way to grab his attention. She made innuendos, touched his leg when they were talking, bent over in front of him with a short skirt, everything that seemed to distract him and he secretly wondered how women were allowed to get away with this at work. As a working man, if he touched a female coworker’s leg, rubbed up against or spoke inappropriately to her, he would be in trouble. Not with Jolene but with most workplaces, he would probably be fired for sexual harassment. Yet when women did it, clearly it went under the radar. Jolene saw it many times and glared but said nothing.
Eventually, Daniela got a new boyfriend and rather than attempt to seduce Chase, she instead told him detailed stories about her sex life. He wasn’t sure which was worse.
The summer months were the busiest. Work was insane. Often out of the city and province, they were on the road a lot. Spending time at airports, waiting for flights, while Jolene tapped impatiently on her phone or laptop, attempting to do work on the run. Everyone grew impatient, tired and the heat was insane, especially during one particular weekend while working in Toronto. The air conditioning wasn’t functioning properly in the venue they were holding an event and Jolene yelled at the owner to get it fixed before the night started. When this didn’t happen, she ordered in a huge shipment of ice and although curious, Chase wasn’t going to ask how it played into the night. It ended up being their most successful party.
The summer rolled forward. He worked. Rarely did he date. He went to the gym a lot but was ignored by most women, which he didn’t understand. The women in Calgary didn’t seem to like his type, many were ironically more into the same kind of rugged rednecks he grew up with, something he didn’t understand. They also liked men with money. He dressed well but when women learned he was only an assistant and not making a 6 digit income, they seemed less interested and drifted away. One woman even asked if he was in the NHL because of his size and physical status. When he said no and told her the truth, she shrugged and walked away.
By the end of the summer, he was starting to feel a little desperate and the rejection was starting to get to him. He never had this issue when he lived in a small town. He never had this issue when he was younger. It was strange and the complete opposite of what he would’ve expected. He even attempted online dating, which ended up being a complete joke. He had one hook up with a crazy woman and never saw her again. For that, he felt somewhat fortunate. She had somehow managed to steal food out of his fridge before leaving the next morning, the oddest way to end a one night stand.
By the fall and his one year anniversary of being away from Hennessey, he thought about going back for a visit but the idea was met with a lackluster response. Audrey suggested he didn’t.
“The boys are just getting used to you not being around,” she spoke impatiently into the phone. “So maybe it’s better that you didn’t.”
“But I haven’t seen them in a year,” Chase calmly replied.
“Chase, you forgot Leland’s birthday this year and you hardly ever talk to the kids online,” she was rushed as the sound of the boys yelling in the background erupted emotions that tore through his heart.“I don’t think it’s a good idea if you come back, at least not right now. Maybe you can talk to them on Skype later this week.”
He didn’t reply. He couldn’t reply. It was as if his tongue was heavy, frozen to the bottom of his mouth, emotions roaring through his chest, fighting to get out. He was his father. He was that kind of father. He was the father Maggie and Kelsey had; never around, only with occasional phone calls and gifts but no real connection in their lives. To them, it had been normal but created a series of issues. Was Kelsey the way she was because her dad wasn’t in their lives? Would his kids be fucked up too? Then again, they had a replacement father that they seemed to love.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want them to care about Audrey’s new boyfriend. He certainly wanted them to be happy, for her to be happy, but he couldn’t help but feel as though he had been replaced. Almost like having a pet that died, burying it and joyfully moving on with a replacement, eventually forgetting about the rotting corpse beside the oak tree.
He remained silent and she must’ve sensed his remorse.
“Look, Chase, it’s okay. The boys are okay. At least they don’t see us fighting, that would’ve been a hell of a lot worse.” She reminded him and he nodded, even though she clearly couldn’t see him through the phone. “I know this is hard for you. It’s not like the kids don’t see you as their father anymore, but Albert is here with them and even when you lived home, you weren’t as present. You were always working.”
“I don’t hold that against you,” She continued. “I don’t say anything bad to them about you. It’s not like that at all. I just think right now, it’s better to not confuse them. It’s what is best for them.”
He reluctantly agreed and spent the next few days depressed. He was even quieter at work, as Daniela chirped on about her new man and all the things he bought her on their latest shopping trip. She rattled on while Jolene was attempting to do some work and she finally told her to ‘shut up and go run some errands.’
Fortunately, Daniela was an obedient employee and scared of her boss, so quickly jump up and left with a list of things to pick up and people to phone and confirm various details of their upcoming events. Shaking her head after the door closed, Jolene rolled her eyes.
“She works well but oh, does she ever stop talking, that one?” she complained, s
haking her head, “Ah ah ah! Dos Mio!!”
Expressionless, Chase nodded.
“And you, what is wrong with you?” her voice went down in tone, indicating that she hadn’t the same frustration for her more mature employee. “You quiet. What is wrong?”
“Just stuff with my kids back home.”
“Ah, do you miss?”
“Yes, but unfortunately, my ex-wife doesn’t seem to think I should go see them.”
“What?? No no no, you are the father, you have a right.”
“I know but she had a good point,” Chase said as he sat upright in the chair, where he was slouched over a laptop, doing some research for Jolene. “The kids are getting used to the new boyfriend, to not having me around and she thinks that they will be confused if I go back now.”
Jolene frowned then shrugged. “Maybe she is right, I do not know. What do you think?”
“That she’s right,” Chase avoided her eyes and glanced back at the screen. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m one of ‘those’ fathers that are never around. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be when I left. It’s so hard to know what’s the right thing to do when you’re a parent.”
“You were a young father, no?”
“Too young, that’s part of the problem,” he replied. “I can’t help but wonder what my life would’ve been if I hadn’t had kids so young, got married, all of that. Where would I be now?”
“Not necessarily anywhere better,” Jolene commented and although he thought she was about to say something more, she hesitated and he could see emotions on her face. She quickly recovered and shrugged. “I do not know.”
He didn’t reply nor did he work. Staring at the screen, he bit his lip and opened his mouth to reply, when the door suddenly flew open. Assuming it was it was Daniela bringing them a surprise coffee, as she often did before heading out to take care of other things, especially if she thought Jolene was pissed at her. He started to turn around and without thinking commented, “Thank God, I so need a coffee, I-
