Black Surrender (A Kelly Black Affair Book 7)

by C. J. Thomas

  I rolled my eyes. Her diversion tactics wouldn’t work on me. She couldn’t flip the conversation that easily. Besides, I wasn’t ready to face what my father had to say. So, instead, I flipped the script and took it in another direction. “Did I tell you Kelly took me to Mint last night?”

  Alex stopped breathing.

  “Wes invited us.” I nodded and paused to wonder if Alex had ever seen Maria at Mint. There was no way I could bring it up with her. It wouldn’t be fair of me talking about Nash’s ex, leaving her to question all that we were trying to get past. Instead, I skipped the part about Wes getting taken away by authorities and jumped ahead to how Kelly freaked last night, saying he didn’t want to do this anymore. “Orgasms shouldn’t be this hard.”

  Alex glowed. Her cheeks blushed pink. She swayed her hips across the floor like a boat rocking in the waves—beautiful. “Want to know the secret?”

  My mouth thinned, envious of her ability to orgasm with ease. “Open my mind,” I mocked her earlier suggestion. Squinting, I asked, “Where’s Nash, anyway?”

  Alex made herself a glass of ice water. “At the studio,” she said, facing the sink.

  Her voice didn’t sound convincing, and now I wondered if maybe Kelly’s suspicions were right. “Which begs the question, why aren’t working, too?”

  Alex turned to me with a knowing smirk polishing her cheeks. “Because,” she bit the edge of her lip, “I’m pregnant.”

  My eyes popped out of my head. “What?”

  She nodded.

  “Does Nash know?”

  She shrugged with eyes beginning to water. Burying her face inside her hands, she turned her back so I wouldn’t see her blushing. Glancing around the room, I thought how her pregnancy explained the eating. “Hey, this is great news.” I rubbed circles across her back.

  Her cries grew more intense as tears streamed down her face. “I don’t even know why I’m crying.” She laughed.

  “This is good news, isn’t it?”

  Her eyes swelled with deeper pools. “I haven’t told Nash.”

  “You have to tell him.”

  She ironed her palm over her head and wiped her cheeks with her fingers. “I’m afraid he already knows. I left the pregnancy test on the counter. I didn’t mean to.”

  “He didn’t say anything?”

  She lifted her puffed red eyes up to me and looked me straight in the eye. “He never came home last night and he’s not picking up his phone. I’m worried something might have happened to him.”

  “I’m sure it’s nothing. You know how demanding his job is.” Feeling my blood throb in my ears, I wrapped her up in my arms and turned her to the couch. “C’mon. Let’s see what my Dad had to say.”

  24

  Kelly

  The front door swung open with leftover prison stale air hitting my face.

  It didn’t feel like coming home. Wasn’t sure what I was going to do now that I was here. I should have gone to the office, cleared my head there first. Instead, I’d driven in a daze, going through the motions, unable to get my head off Stone. The last thing I wanted was to be alone.

  I didn’t move. My feet glued to the floor, I stared into the darkest corners of the room, breathlessly listening. I inhaled a breath of hope that I hadn’t beat Kendra home. It was her comfort I was after, needing her to supply a distraction so I’d stop torturing myself with thoughts that went nowhere.

  I tilted my head to the side. The refrigerator hummed. The water pipes whistled in the walls. It was dead quiet except for the hollow drumming knocking around inside my chest.

  I dropped my bag and latched the door shut behind me.

  Flowery scents followed me inside, reminding me of Bella. I asked myself why I’d left at all this morning, but when I thought back to how I’d felt when I woke up, I knew I had made the right decision. I had to go before I ruined the only good I had left in my life.

  Stomping over polished floors, I moved through the clean kitchen and stopped in front of the unopened champagne bottle left over from the other night. Clutching it in my hand, I smacked my lips and read the label for kicks.

  My sobriety even felt fabricated. Like it had been forced upon me, a decision not my own. And maybe it had. Madam had left me doubting the authenticity of nearly everything that happened between then and now. My head left spinning without a strong sense of direction. Though the feelings of guilt would never disappear, I willed myself not to fall for a temptation as small as this.

  Placing the bottle back on the counter, I made a lemon water and turned to face the living room, appreciating Kendra’s efforts to make things as normal as possible. I sensed that was what she was after. A new start. Building something fresh to look forward to. This was all her. She’d done this. For us both.

  I scuffled my way into the living room with my shoulders being pulled down. I fell into the couch with the same heavy anchor, and my thoughts were back to my conversation with Stone.

  Stone thought he controlled me. Thought he had something that would keep me loyal to him. Not caring to go through the same shit as I had with Madam, I couldn’t deny the feelings that he was attempting to blackmail me. It was important I got ahead of this before anything else came of it.

  I leaned forward and rested my sharp elbows on the points of my knees. With a furrowed brow, I focused intensely on what needed to happen to set my mind free.

  Stone needed to be convinced I would get him out on a technicality. I needed Madam to admit to killing my family. It seemed easy on the surface, but beneath the calm waters were strong currents that were sure to drown me if I wasn’t careful.

  How far was I willing to bend to assist Stone? He seemed confident that his plan would work. Told the right way, I knew it would. At least shift the conversation and use the tainted DA’s office to our benefit. It was almost like Stone had planned it himself.

  Needing to kill two birds with one rock, I put a call in to Giselle.

  “How did it go?” she asked. I gave her a quick briefing without admitting it was actually Stone’s idea we were now working. “You’re not actually going to do that are you?”

  “I’ll do enough to make him believe I’m on board, but what I need you to do is talk with Drake.” A pause. “You think you can do that for me?”

  “I’d work any angle you asked of me.”

  “I don’t want to put you in a position you’re not comfortable with.”

  “It’s fine, Kelly. Tell me what you need me to do.”

  I grinned. Something told me that Giselle and Drake would work things out. We could be on the same side, acting as a team, and, as long as no more secrets were left uncovered, they had a shot. “See if the FBI has Blake Stone on their radar.”

  The front door opened. I turned my head to find Kendra removing her sunglasses away from her eyes. I smiled.

  “If you’re referring to what we already know about his activity on federal property,” Giselle continued, “then yes, I will ask him.”

  “Thank you.” I was still staring into Kendra’s eyes when I ended my call.

  Kendra’s purse hung to the floor and it seemed she was willing to let go. Though hesitant to come any further, there was an undeniable glow about her that had my heart longing to know what it was on her mind.

  I stood without saying a word and moved across the room to her. Lifting one hand, I pushed my fingers through her hair and looped it behind her ear. It was soft like warm water and I took her at the waist. I felt my skin buzz with activity as we stared into each other’s gaze. “How was your day?” I asked.

  “I missed you.”

  Leaning down, I pressed my lips against hers. They were pillows of comfort that left me wanting more. “Don’t want to tell me about it?”

  Snaking her arms around my tight waist, she dropped her head to my chest and melted into my frame. Closing my eyes, I got dizzy on her heady scent. Brushing the tip of my nose across her hair, she ironed the balls of her hands up and down my thigh, across the p
lanes and valleys of my stomach. My cock thickened and throbbed to life.

  I shook off the feelings of self-doubt and hung on to what little hope I had for the future. The way Kendra was acting—needy, childlike and quiet—it felt like maybe she was hiding something.

  Hooking her jaw with my finger, I tipped her head back and lowered my chin. Looking her directly in the eye, I said, “You know I love you, right?”

  Her eyes hooded and glazed over with the same look of seduction I had seen on her before. Pushing herself up on the tips of her toes, her glossed lips were kissing me once again.

  Nudging my tongue against her seam, she parted her mouth and our tongues touched. The kiss grew more passionate with each swipe. Each thrust grew more primal in our desperation to get lost in the other.

  What was it she wasn’t telling me?

  She clawed at my shirt with one hand and reached between my legs with the other.

  I was broken, but together we were shattered glass. We were the best and worst for each other. Feeding off of each other like cannibals.

  “I love you, too,” Kendra mewed the moment her heels hit the floor.

  Threading my fingers through hers, I guided her to the couch and offered to make her a drink. “Just water,” she requested. A minute later I was back, wedged into the corner of the couch with her leaning against me. I ran my fingers through her silky hair, stroking her ears, staring out the window. We stayed like that for nearly an hour, soaking up the silent room before she asked in a small voice, “Can you see me being a mother?”

  I felt my heart skip a beat.

  A boiling wave of heat moved under my collar.

  I paused, stared ahead, silently guessing why she was asking me about something I knew she would be great at. A million different scenarios and reasons crossed my mind. But one stood out among the rest.

  Was this Kendra’s way of telling me that she was pregnant?

  I blinked and brought my feet back to Earth. No, that wasn’t it, I thought, remembering Wes and Kami’s news they’d shared about their baby boy. That must have been Kendra’s reason for asking. Seeing the joy light up Kami’s eyes was addictive and I was certain that Kendra wanted to find that same kind of happiness.

  Kendra twisted her head around and glanced up to me. “Oh my God. Kelly, no. Don’t worry, I’m not pregnant.” She stroked my pale face inside the palm of her hand. We both shared a quick laugh. “I’m not convinced I would be a good mother.”

  “You would make a great mother,” I murmured, thinking how we weren’t to that point in our relationship yet. But what I did know with absolute certainty was that my heart wanted her, now and forever.

  Kendra turned back around and pressed her ear against my chest. We fell quiet. Sank deeper into the couch. Our thoughts on an endless reel that wouldn’t stop spinning.

  “Did you happen to see Nash?” I asked.

  She swished her head, no. “Alex was certain he was working, but she’s lying to herself.”

  My eyebrows knitted. “Why do you say that?”

  Kendra peeled her ear off my breast and rooted her chin in its spot. Looking at me from behind a curtain of lashes, she said, “Promise you won’t tell anybody?”

  I felt my breaths grow shallow. “What is it?”

  She wet her lips. “She’s pregnant.”

  I held her gaze, feeling the plot take on a new twist. Now I hoped Nash was making the right decision and thinking about the future. “Does Nash know about this?”

  Kendra shrugged one shoulder. “Alex hasn’t told him, but she thinks he might have found the pregnancy test.” Her gaze cast down with thought. “He’s talking, isn’t he?”

  “I don’t know.” I choked down the saliva that caught in my throat.

  Tipping my head back, I stared up into the ceiling with thoughts bouncing between Stone, my family, Madam, and Nash. Everything was out of my control and I was trying to be okay with not having my hands in everyone’s back pockets.

  “Are you okay?” Kendra asked me.

  “I’ll be fine.” I wanted to believe I would be but, truth be told, I wasn’t so sure.

  “Have you thought any more about getting away?”

  I unwrapped myself from her arms and slipped through the cracks, making my way to the kitchen. “I can’t get away. Not yet. There is still more work that needs to be done.”

  25

  Kendra

  We ordered in. Opened a bottle of wine which only I drank. Our conversation stayed light, flirtatious, fun. I didn’t mention anything else about my desire to become a mother. I only wanted to plant the seed and gauge his reaction without scaring him away. He’d been a father. Knew what it felt like to be responsible for another human life. I didn’t, but a part of me wanted to find out what that entailed. I didn’t have the best role model, and wasn’t convinced I could be so selfless. But Alex’s news got me thinking.

  Kelly pushed his empty plate to the side and brought his elbows to the table. The vanilla scented candle flickered in his gorgeous eyes. He gave me a knowing look, and I gave him one back.

  I also didn’t mention anything more about my desire to take some time away from LA. Kelly had unfinished business that needed attending. And, truth be told, so did I.

  He extended his arm and uncurled his fingers. Biting the edge of my lip, I titled my head and found myself looking deep into the shadows casting across his face. Searching for hidden secrets, he was undeniably attractive.

  I admired him for wanting to face his challenges head-on when all I wanted was to run away from them. My mind was filled with thoughts of my father, of Kelly’s family, of finding answers to what truly happened to them, and why.

  Kelly stroked my promise ring with his thumb when I asked, “What are you thinking?”

  His eyes never lifted. His mouth never opened. With little indication to what he was thinking, Kelly stood. Rounding the table, he pulled me to my feet. Taking the candle with his free hand, Kelly led us toward the master bedroom. Together we treaded over past footsteps, taking the same path we had taken hundreds of times before. But, tonight, with only the candlelight lighting the way, it felt like we were someplace else.

  Kelly glanced over his shoulder. I giggled. He did, too. My head spun with the buzz of wine, and Kelly was drunk on me. Feeling my stomach flutter with anticipation for what was to come, I wasn’t concerned with how he sexed me up, just that he sexed me up. It felt good to be held by him. To have someone I could trust with my feelings. A man who I couldn’t see a future without. I loved him. More than anything.

  Kelly stopped at the door, placed the candle on a nearby mantle. Turning to face me, he curled his fingers around the nape of my neck and leaned his hot breath close as he kissed me gently on the cheek. Delicious chills pebbled my flesh as, suddenly, I was swept off my feet. Kelly carried me over the threshold, twirled me around, kissing me with gentle flicks of his tongue before setting me back down on wobbly knees.

  I stared into his dark eyes, unconsciously parting my lips as my heart fluttered with the speed of my racing pulse. Clutching his shirt inside my fingers, I tugged him close. He lowered his head, slowly beginning to rid me of my dress as he peppered my exposed flesh with open-mouth kisses that seared my skin.

  “I want you to have me however you want,” I murmured with a hitched breath as I tipped my head back. Running my fingers through his hair, my body burned from the inside out. All I could think about was how I wanted to be the mother of his child—wed or not.

  “You’re mine.” His husky breath tickled my ear.

  Kelly unzipped my back and the dress let go of my body, drifting down my legs before pooling at my feet. Diving his head between my breasts, Kelly yanked my bra down, lapping at my rosebud nipples with his tongue. I mewed and moaned as my temperature spiked.

  I was thrilled for Alex and wanted to join her on the journey. It was so easy for me to imagine our children growing up together, taking walks in the park, pushing our strollers. Picnics at the b
each, holidays, and birthday parties. The idea filled me with peace.

  Kelly crashed his mouth down over mine. Frantically, I worked at his buttons, needing my hands gripping his bare chest. His muscles bounced inside my palms as he shimmied his arms free.

  Falling to my knees, I pulled at his belt buckle and tugged his pants down to his knees. His big, beautiful cock sprang free and I put my mouth over it.

  Kelly’s head fell back between his shoulders.

  His shaft throbbed against my tongue. His cockhead knocked against the roof of my mouth. Kelly could be anything he wanted. Gentle as a shimmering lake, or as rough as a bucking bronco. That was why I loved him. He could always keep me on my toes.

  Unhinging my jaw, I swallowed his sword deeper. I gagged, spit him out, and repeated the motion. Kelly palmed the back of my head. Wedging me between his root and hand, he pushed me to my limit.

  Inside, I quivered with achy bones from a body damaged well before it had a chance to mature. It didn’t matter. Not to Kelly. He looked past that. Loved me regardless. And I loved him because of it.

  Pumping my wrist, I swirled my tongue over his purple crown, feeling his thighs flex. His body involuntarily jerked, and I sucked him harder, faster, feeling the floor dig into my kneecaps, submitting to the dull pain.

  With my heart hammering, I wasn’t as concerned with orgasm. This was about duty, about being selfless and proving that it wasn’t always about me.

  “God, you’re incredible,” Kelly moaned.

  I believed Alex was right. I needed to break the shackles and free my mind. Let go of the past. Surrender to the moment. Focused entirely on the sensation I was giving to a man I loved deeply while scrubbing my brain free of imaginary limitations I had been led to believe were real. That was what I needed. Not toys or recreations of past events. None of that would get me off without honing in on the power of the mind.

  Fisting my hair, Kelly stepped back and pulled me up his hard body. Looking me in my eyes, he found his way to my lips. A man who wasn’t afraid to taste himself was a man worth keeping, I thought as his hands roamed my body.